Tags: Love, break-up, back together.
Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. It’s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one you’ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that you’ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So you’ve got that person in your life. You’ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing you’ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both don’t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!â€. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in love… And history repeats itself...!
MY ADVICE..!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!
I thought everything was going fine in our relationship. However, I knew deep down there was an uphill battle because of our circumstances. We were both working full time, going to school and have other activities. However, I had faith in love and our relationship. He did not- he had stopped communicating with me about where he was at. We were supposed to go to several activities on Saturday that he really wanted to do and I as well. I was making a conscious effort be more social with him. He showed up at my house and I immediately knew something was wrong. Even though the night before was fine and 2 nights before he had invited me to go with him to a family event. When he walked through my door he told me he couldn't do it any longer. That there was a block within him and he had been struggling with it for some time. Also, that he didn't want to do a long distance relationship and he would be moving in a few months across the country. I was pretty shocked and cold to him. I was able to kindly express my disbelief and disappointment, but I wished I could have been warmer. I asked him to take his things and to throw mine out. The next day I sent him an email letting him know I was going to give him money for part of the tv he had bought me and sent him a nice note saying goodbye. He had a pretty cold response- which shows really just where he's at. I'm 36 years old and scared of being alone the rest of my life. My faith in real love is wavering and I never thought that would happen to me. Thank you for everyone sharing their stories.
Tags: Bad breakup, Cruel, Depressive
About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.
Tags: Horrible break-up, devastated
I met my love of my life about 5-6 years ago but didn't know that back then. We used to chat a lot but somehow this chatting faded. About a year ago we started talking to each other again. For a while it was a normal, everyday friends talk but at one moment I felt that she was the one who was meant for me and I said I had feelings for her. She was kind of shocked but I believe in a good way. This truly was the best feeling in my 19 years. So, eventually we were together and everyday I fell deeper in love. This feeling was undescribable. I genuinely was the happiest man on earth. Everything was great and we were happy. But since we were living quite far from each other things started going not so well. We argued about pointless things, both being extremely stubborn. About 6 months our relationship had ups and downs but it really didn't matter because she was still my little princess and i loved her even more. About 3 weeks ago, we had a horrific quarrel which ended with me saying that she was disgusting. It was said because of the emotion that i had at that time. I had never felt so bad in my life. Honestly, i wanted to kill myself because of that saying. After that she obviously was angry and disappointed in me and she had all the reasons in the world to be mad at me because, after all i was a complete jerk. So i apologized about 100 times. A bit later i thought everything was okay until today. She had been aloof, she didn't talk to me as often as she used to. I thought it was about me... And then the painful reality struck. I asked why is she behaving like that and she told that... When I said that bad thing to her, she was so shooked up, she went to a nightclub, had drinks and one thing led to another.. she kissed another man. And she had held that in her all that time. I was devastated, i didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed about what she did and didn't want to be with me anymore because of that one mistake. She isn't that type of girl who kisses random guys. She knows it and I know it. I said that i forgive her but it wasn't enough. My heart is broken, shattered to pieces. Since she was my everything, I really don't know how am I gonna live on. I truly hope that she changes her mind and that love against me is stronger than feeling guilty about what was done.
I really love her. I don't know what to do...
Tags: breakup
First week of second year university I met the guy of my dreams. 6'5, athletic, smart, funny, romantic and outgoing. We fell in love with one another and I can remember him shaking as he told me he loved me for the first time. He was so excited for me to meet his family and friends from back home and they all loved me. It felt so good to have such a strong, committed relationship. We thought we would get married to one another and he told me he would never break my heart. I was so in love with him that i lost my virginity to him, somehting that meant the world to me. In February things started to change really fast; he no longer had time to see me as much and his friends werent as inclusive as before. I brought up these problems we were having with him and he agreed that he was being a terrible boyfreind but that there was nothing he could do because he wasnt interested in commitment anymore and realized he couldnt see himself growing old with me. He broke my heart and I collapsed on the spot. My world was ending and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He stayed the night with me and held me while I cried. It has been 3 weeks since the breakup. Weve been seing each other occasionally but he made it very clear that it was over. I am so lost wihtout him, I feel like theres noone in this world as good for me as him.
Tags: bad break up.
I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now and my boyfriend has been acting really weird from the past two months. he has been desperately trying to end the relationship. the last time i met he seemed depressed and i thought its just the depression and the work pressure that has made him this way. we fight alot and he gets so upset that he ends up crying. we had a huge fight on my birthday which was a month back. Ever since then he seems to complaining of severe depression and that he hasnt been able to sleep and said he wanted some space. after two days he calls me and tells me that he is ending this relationship for good and that he hates me. he even said that he will be looking out for girls from april to get married too. I was shattered and i honestly didnt know what was going on. a week later he calls me again and says he was sorry and he cant live without me. I took him back but i was tooo hurt to heal so quickly and accept that he wanted me. it wasnt even three days when got into yet another fight. he then withdrew and stopped talking to me. i later get a call from his boss and his boss who is way older than us, said that its best i move on. I FEEL SO TORN APART . i dont even know why he did this to me. i dont know what is the actual reason for the break up. i loved him so much that in my mind we were already married. i saw him like my husband. why would a guy do this to me? i request him to meet me one last time in april when he comes here, but he bluntly refused. I REAALLY DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPeNED. i tried way to hard to make this work. something in me says he loves me. the other half tells me ive been only manipulated and kicked around like a football in and out of his life. I NEED SOME ADVICE.
Tags: Whoodini
A few weeks ago I experienced a break-up. Except it wasn't really a break-up. The man with whom I felt I was falling in love with and whom I sincerely felt was in love with me....disappeared. I reached out to him twice within a week after his whoodini act, and have not received a response. Its as if he just evaporated. I feel like I've been imagining all the time that we spent together, all the mornings we woke up cuddling and all the amazingly passionate nights that we shared.
Where is my boyfriend????
I'm writing because I am confused and would like to share a bit of my story. I was aggressively pursued by a sensitive, attractive, fun and interesting guy. I didn't do any of the pursuing, it was all on his end. After 5 months of dating him and him telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and loved me, and took me out, and dinners, and drinks, and fun and blah blah blah....we spent New Years together and the next week he prepared this amazing "honeymoon night" in his apartment with candle and tea and incense, and everything perfect. He gave my a gift after we had sex and we cuddled and had a fun night...
We kissed in the morning and said goodbye.
I haven't heard from him since. This was a month ago. I'm totally confused and angry that I was sold on this bologna. After 5 months of dating. I don't understand. I now want to send him a message and tell him off and call him out on his lunacy, but I am stopping myself. I have so many questions. So much to say, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of even knowing that I'm giving him one more second of my thoughts.
I seriously feel like I hate him right now. I hope he is miserable and I hope that he has the worst Valentine's Day ever. I hope he realizes what a coward he is for not breaking things off more respectfully. I feel hurt, confused, and disrespected.
I want to move on, but its hard when you don't have a real ending, and so many questions. I know I deserve more, but I was just blindsided!! I didn't even really like him that much until recently.
Moreover, I hope this experience makes me more aware in the future, and I hope I am able to grow from this. I'm happy to share my story and know that I am not alone. None of us are. There is someone better out there, but in the mean time, it is not easy.
Tags: funny breakup, breakup
Okay so I was with my boyfriend for not that long, And I have to say when I broke up with him it was the best decision in my life! He was a 10th grader and I was in 11th grade but we had the same age and he was older than me but I skipped a grade. We talked for 4 months and we started a new year in school he finally asked me out. After 3 days of dating he told me he 'loved' me. I was shocked because it was to early to love someone. He never took me out in a date, he never wanted to hang out, only at school might I add AND we talked for 1 or 2 a day. I was miserable. I hated being with him, we was so immature and so cocky for his own good. When we on break I asked to hang out and he told me no because we were only to hang out at school.. After our 1 month (we were on break) he told me he loved me again and got pissed when I didn't say it back. We then got into an argument and he told me that I was using him and a bunch load of crap just because I didn't say 'I love you' back. It was to early to say it and 'love' to me is a special word. So then a week later (still on break) I told him to stop talking s*xual to me because I didn't like it and it made me feel uncomfortable. He got mad at me again saying our conversations were boring so thats why he talked 'dirty' to me! I told him why he never asked about my day, how I was and why couldn't we talk normal. Then we got into another conversation *WARNING* He told me the stupidest sh*t ever... He blamed me that he was failing because of me! (Mind you we have been dating a month almost 2) He said that his parents got pissed at him because his grades and he said I was the reason because of it. We NEVER hanged out, We talked for 1 HOUR OR 2 a day. So how his grades were falling I DONT KNOW!. I told him that it wasn't my fault it was his because he had no reason what so ever to tell me the cra*p. A few days he started talking about marriage, I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the subject since hence our situation and that we weren't dating that long to talk about that and I told him longer people have been dating longer to talk about it. He then asked me which couples *face palm* I then told him the couples who have dated 1 years. He got mad and that's when I had it. I broke up with him and I feel like the chains were lifted off my ankles and my wings were spread and I could be free once again. Now he wants to get back together but no way am I going back to h*ll.
Tags: bad breakup, hurt, unbelievable, played, sad
I have loved him for more than 5 years. We've had a thing for almost a year but that never blossomed into a real relationship until a year and a half ago. During that year of us having a 'thing', I couldn't stop thinking about him- he was my first thought every morning and every night. Everything about him I loved, his flaws, his personality. He was someone who inspired me to become a better person, someone who made me become a better person ever since we met. I was stupid to wait around. That year of our 'thing', he ended up telling me that his feelings for me weren't as strong anymore and that I should go off and 'explore a bit' with other guys. Out of anger, out of hurt, I did. My friend chased me. And I decided to give him a chance.
It wasn't long before he came back. Grovelling, crying, begging. He tore me away from my relationship with my friend. And I was stupid enough to have believed he wanted me for real this time. He was romantic and even wanted to be my 'official' boyfriend this time- and he is not the type of person to ever label things without thinking things through. So broke my friend's heart, and ran off with this guy. Everything was great.. until it wasn't. He rarely texts, rarely makes time to see me. He would be so involved with his work, and his gym life. He would spend his actual birthday with his guy friends instead of me. He doesn't feel the want to see me. He got me way too easily. He was so sweet in the beginning I couldn't believe it. I knew it was too good to be true.
On december 27, 2014, he told me he was going to make a big move in his career. When I told him about my point of view, how I was willing to support him and follow him, he told me to really think about it. He didn't want me to go.
5 days later, on new year's day, he broke up with me, saying after the past 3 days of thinking he decided it was best for us to break up. After investing so much in this he decided, after 3 days, to break up. He crushed me. For the second time in my life, by the same person and for the same reasons. He couldn't feel anything with me anymore. He just fell out of love. And after a year and a half, told me his family and my family would never work out together.
I am beyond sad. My heart feels like there's a gigantic canyon on it, in it. Depression is real. This is real.
Tags: changedforever!
i was in class 8..a age too tender to even comprehend one-fourth of what love means..but he had something so amazingly magical about him,i felt the best.i dint know what the feeling was...after a month of dating we got into a relationship.Being in class 8 meeting him was a big issue..but we managed..seeing him atleast once a week was a blessing.I bunked tutions to meet him,saved every penny i had to gift him on his birthdays,anniverseries etc.What a realationship it was!.There was so much of love in everything I saw in this world..this world seemed a better place.His care,his protectiveness,his touch was a bliss.I knew we were inseparable.Our relationship was an inspiration to many.The cost of loving him was slaps and beatings from my brother..but who cared?..ANYTHING FOR HIM!..Years rolled on..and my brother agreed too..his blessings were always there with us...and one fine day,I gave myself to him.We both cried..he assured him that i had made no wrong decision and i would never have to regret for that...and i believed him.He was the only world i knew...i knew we were inseparable until the day came.It was 22nd of april,2012..my brother called me up sobbing and crying.."He is not a good guy..he sleeps around with girls..recently he had brought a girl in his house to sleep with.You leave him."...and these words changed my life!..I sat on the road and cried for hours.I BROKE UP.
Years have passed on..but one sentence of Nicholas Sparks hangs true in my life "The first time you fall in love it changes your life forever and no matter how hard you try,the feeling just never goes away".I know I should hate him..he shattered my life forever.My life has never been the same after 22nd april 2012...but deep down i still cry for him.I do not know why did he do that to me.I STILL MISS YOU AFTER WHATEVER YOU DID..and YOU KNOW WHY IT HURTS MORE? ..BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN LOVE.
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