Searching for "devastated"

36 Results For 'devastated'

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.

Keijo

March 31, 2015 @ (Estonia)

Tags: Horrible break-up, devastated

I met my love of my life about 5-6 years ago but didn't know that back then. We used to chat a lot but somehow this chatting faded. About a year ago we started talking to each other again. For a while it was a normal, everyday friends talk but at one moment I felt that she was the one who was meant for me and I said I had feelings for her. She was kind of shocked but I believe in a good way. This truly was the best feeling in my 19 years. So, eventually we were together and everyday I fell deeper in love. This feeling was undescribable. I genuinely was the happiest man on earth. Everything was great and we were happy. But since we were living quite far from each other things started going not so well. We argued about pointless things, both being extremely stubborn. About 6 months our relationship had ups and downs but it really didn't matter because she was still my little princess and i loved her even more. About 3 weeks ago, we had a horrific quarrel which ended with me saying that she was disgusting. It was said because of the emotion that i had at that time. I had never felt so bad in my life. Honestly, i wanted to kill myself because of that saying. After that she obviously was angry and disappointed in me and she had all the reasons in the world to be mad at me because, after all i was a complete jerk. So i apologized about 100 times. A bit later i thought everything was okay until today. She had been aloof, she didn't talk to me as often as she used to. I thought it was about me... And then the painful reality struck. I asked why is she behaving like that and she told that... When I said that bad thing to her, she was so shooked up, she went to a nightclub, had drinks and one thing led to another.. she kissed another man. And she had held that in her all that time. I was devastated, i didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed about what she did and didn't want to be with me anymore because of that one mistake. She isn't that type of girl who kisses random guys. She knows it and I know it. I said that i forgive her but it wasn't enough. My heart is broken, shattered to pieces. Since she was my everything, I really don't know how am I gonna live on. I truly hope that she changes her mind and that love against me is stronger than feeling guilty about what was done.
I really love her. I don't know what to do...

Anonymous

March 25, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Heartbroken

I knew we were going to be together the first time I saw her. She was my first real girlfriend and my first love. I never cared about anyone more. I thought she was perfect. After 7 months she wanted to break up with me out of the blue. Worst timing too. I had recently lost my job for something I didnt do, got kicked out of my classes because I forgot to pay on time, and my parents left to go on a 2 month road trip. I was home alone, I had nothing. She said that I was the only thing that made her happy and she wanted to be happy with herself before she could be happy with someone else. I was devastated. It was the first time I had really cried. I felt betrayed and thrown away like trash. Everything we had, gone. I told her we can do this together but she had already made up her mind. I still think about her every day.

Lyzza

November 01, 2014 @ (Berlin)

Tags: Bad break up

Well me and my boyfriend were together for over 4 years. Like many people say the first year was great we were always happy we loved spending time with each other every second of everyday. Then things started to change. He became distant and he never seemed interested in seeing me or talking to me. I started not to feel right about our relationship but I was desperate to be with him. I found out that he was cheating on me for 3 months straight! I was devastated and I didn't know what to do because I had such strong feelings for him. He never apologized for cheating but I took him back anyway. Our relationship has been rocky this whole entire time' for 3 years. He is constantly comparing me to the girl he cheated on me with. He's always pointing out everything that I do wrong and he never let's me be myself. Everything is always blamed on me. He's broken up with me again for someone else and again I took him back. He break up on average every 2 weeks and I hate it. I always feel terrible I always feel at fault. Days go by that he will just ignore me. I want this relationship to work so bad but he won't put any work forward it's always me. I'm not sure what to d anymore.

Free

December 21, 2013 @ (Michigan)

Tags: Bad breakup

Last summer I met a guy in my office..he was kind, handsome, funny and shy. We became friends and i fell for him. On 8th June we kissed and started our relationship. He was my everything and i loved him more than anything in this world. I used to dream about marring him and did every possible thing to make him happy. We even talked about getting married and having kids. I used to think he loves me dearly and cannot stay without me. Then suddenly after 18 months of relationship he says he never loved me and was acting the whole time. I was devastated, could not eat, sleep or work. I would go to office and cry hysterically in office bathroom . Its been 1 month he broke up with me and right now i am feeling little better. He did not even try to find out how i am doing..He moved on very quickly. But Its fine.. right now i really don't care..now when i think, he was not a good bf atall..he insulted me million times i listened to them happily. Well I might not love anybody the way i loved him, i might not be free with anybody the way I was with him, there is a big hole in my heart which may never ever heal..but its fine.. life moves on and i am moving forward with it :)

Sadlonelyconfused

May 07, 2013 @ (San Francisco)

Tags: Crush, first, kiss, bad, relationship, teenagers, dumb, love

I have had a crush on this girl sinse the first grade, it started off as us hating each other but it was one of those cute kid cover up things. In middle school there were other girls I hooked up with, other girl friends, so I forgot about this girl for a long time. After dealing with a fair amount of drama with other girls, I started to have feeling for this girl again, this is by the time puberty has hit us both and she became more than just the girl I liked, she became beautiful, so other guys started hitting on her too. Around this time me and he started getting flirty, this lasted for a while until I asked her out, but she said no because she felt like we were too close as friends and she didn't want to loose me. So I was heart broken or whatever but I bounced back and everything was fine between us. We texted all summer and saw each other a few times, it almost felt like we were together, but we weren't. I got over her and started focusing on my studies so for a while all I did was study and party, everything was going fine, I was happy. Then my best female friend told me that she and my old crush were talking and that she found out that she kind of liked me but was going to wait for me to ask her out. So I waited, partied more, and eventually got around to asking her out, again, and she said yes. That marked the start of our month line awkward excuse of a relationship. I was her first boyfriend, and her first kiss, which she was extremely nervous for, so once we kissed I thought everything would turn around and that she would loose her shyness, the thing ruining our relationship. I didn't work, she and her friend started fighting and their fight was affecting out relationship. Spring break rolled around and I had only kissed her one day, on several occasions though, infact we made out. I was planning to hang out with her during spring break but she was out of town the whole time. The last weekend of spring break I was so exited to see her the following Monday. When I go to school I found out that her fight with her friend had gotten worse, they would even look a each other. That day I decided that I Was going to talk to her and either figure out why everything was going the way it was going or break up with her. Before I could do it I checked with my female friend and she had told me that my girlfriend had told her that she wasnt ready for a telationship and that she wanted it to end but she was to nervousness and shy to do it herself, so knowing that I ended it. I felt awful, I picked up smoking again that night and sat on my roof singing sad songs, what a movie cliche. Later people started saying that she just used me to get a first kiss and I was devastated because I thought she liked me. In a spiral of sadness I started smoking too much weed to feel happy again, which was fun while it lasted but now I'm broke. So I've been a sad, bitter, broke, lonely wreck. She seems like she moved on immediately, she's happy, and never regarded it, but I still feel empty inside because I don't know how to be happy again like I was before we got together. She said maybe she would be open to trying a relationship with me again next year but I can't hold on that long, even though I'm afraid I will and this silent sufference will last until then. Sigh... Where some weed when I need it.

Edan

March 29, 2013 @ (san diego)

Tags: ?

My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me and I am devastated . This was my first relationship and I feel an immense heartache. I feel I'm to blame because of my anger and distrust when he didn't give me a reason to. People say he'll come back but I highly doubt it. It hurts everyday and its barely been a week. I know he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like this feeling will never go away. Everything reminds me of him. I still love him. If he loved me, where did that love go? Or was it never love. If I could turn back time I would because I'm filled with regret, sadness and regret. What hurts more is he's already moving on. Love sucks.

Dakota

July 01, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: firstlove, heartbroken

Well, I met him our freshman year of high school. That summer, we became really close and I knew I had fallen for him. Flash forward to the end of our sophomore year, and we FINALLY started dating. I knew instantly that I was completely in love with him and thought he was "the one". But after a year and half of being together, in november of our senior year, he broke up with me right when I was caught in a ton of family issues and needed his support the most. Then TEN DAYS LATER, I find out he had sex with our mutual friend's older sister. I was devastated and couldn't believe the guy I loved so much could betray me like that. Now it's been more than six months since our break up, and I'm still just a little torn up about it. Isn't love wonderful?(sarcasm)

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.

Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: 1

I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.