John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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jesse

January 26, 2012

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chris im so happy im not the only one who disagrees lol

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jesse

January 26, 2012

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anyways so j did you reread my lovely paragraph that i wrote for you? btw thanks for the definiton on the bandwagon lol i wass thinking about its literal meaning before..

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Chris

January 26, 2012

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Yeah haha my bad. We should take him to a titty bar, though most girls on this thing wouldn't agree with that action

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jesse

January 26, 2012

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um chris do you mean overrated?

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jesse

January 26, 2012

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wow two years..hmm skydiving might not be such a bad idea actually...

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Chris

January 26, 2012

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Oh, and its the 21st century....sex is so under rated that its not even funny....just take this scenario and take it into perspective in the NEXT relationship you have

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Chris

January 26, 2012

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Dude....your still talking about this? It's been almost 2 years now, and I understand its been 8 years and all...but I could be in the same boat as you, feeling like crap for myself and wishing I had the dream girl I dated before, but its not worth it. I guarantee you by this time, you have had at least 5 girls come up to you and attempt to make conversation, and instead, you either look so depressed its not fun to talk to you OR you have not seen it. Just move on man...you spent your money on her, sure, but it was money well spent at the time. Go to a speed dating thing, or go to a bar, or go to a party. She will always be there in your life, no matter what, but likewise man you can't let this type of thing RUN YOUR LIFE. It's not like she's a playboy model that lives with Heph and sends you videos of guys that she has slept with telling you your a low life and have no chance with another girl. SHOW HER WHO IS BOSS! You can do it man....just relax. Maybe go skydiving and go to asia or something...live outside your lifestyle. It helps.

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jesse

January 26, 2012

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im not sure i follow i was talking about this question lol:didn't any arguments come up between you two about you know beliefs and such...my point is if she did bring up some heavy arguments about your beliefs than she was considering your relationship but if not than she obviously didnt care about this relationship..

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John L.

January 26, 2012

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I didn't push her too hard because she told me in the beginning she left her ex bec he was going to ask her to marry him. Based on that I regulated what I said to her every day and how I went about doing it. I never lectured her on her decisions unless it directly involved me bec she was her own person. The only complaint was that I smothered her. To which I replied did you think maybe why I asked you to come over so much was because I didn't have to worry what you might be doing. Oh well.... I guess that makes sense. I never had the security and I am well aware now that in a real relationship that trust is everything. Although I thought it was just something she was going through as a phase.

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John L.

January 26, 2012

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But why not be something more. Be different. Be proud of not being like everyone else. I am looked at as being naive when I truly wanted to believe in her and she herself. She said I want to kill myself so I did everything to change that. I said when she messed up " You are better than this" bec she was and still is just as everyone is better if they follow through with a selfish action. As I said b4 its a matter of choice

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