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Perplexed

January 31, 2015 @ (Northeast US)

A few weeks ago I experienced a break-up. Except it wasn't really a break-up. The man with whom I felt I was falling in love with and whom I sincerely felt was in love with me....disappeared. I reached out to him twice within a week after his whoodini act, and have not received a response. Its as if he just evaporated. I feel like I've been imagining all the time that we spent together, all the mornings we woke up cuddling and all the amazingly passionate nights that we shared.

Where is my boyfriend????

I'm writing because I am confused and would like to share a bit of my story. I was aggressively pursued by a sensitive, attractive, fun and interesting guy. I didn't do any of the pursuing, it was all on his end. After 5 months of dating him and him telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and loved me, and took me out, and dinners, and drinks, and fun and blah blah blah....we spent New Years together and the next week he prepared this amazing "honeymoon night" in his apartment with candle and tea and incense, and everything perfect. He gave my a gift after we had sex and we cuddled and had a fun night...

We kissed in the morning and said goodbye.

I haven't heard from him since. This was a month ago. I'm totally confused and angry that I was sold on this bologna. After 5 months of dating. I don't understand. I now want to send him a message and tell him off and call him out on his lunacy, but I am stopping myself. I have so many questions. So much to say, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of even knowing that I'm giving him one more second of my thoughts.

I seriously feel like I hate him right now. I hope he is miserable and I hope that he has the worst Valentine's Day ever. I hope he realizes what a coward he is for not breaking things off more respectfully. I feel hurt, confused, and disrespected.

I want to move on, but its hard when you don't have a real ending, and so many questions. I know I deserve more, but I was just blindsided!! I didn't even really like him that much until recently.

Moreover, I hope this experience makes me more aware in the future, and I hope I am able to grow from this. I'm happy to share my story and know that I am not alone. None of us are. There is someone better out there, but in the mean time, it is not easy.

Ren

November 10, 2014 @ (England)

Tags: Bad breakup, cheating, Sad, heartbroken, young, betrayal, boyfriend, depression

I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, roughly. Heâ€™s cheated on me around 7 times, and broken up with me for another girl. He always comes back to me in the end, and of course, I love him so much that I always take him back. This is my first serious relationship and itâ€™s killing me. He was always telling me to change, and made me feel really bad about myself at times. He would also always talk about his exâ€™s in a negative way and call them psychopaths, but now Iâ€™m starting to relies that he did that to them through his manipulation, and I too am falling victim to it. We would break up once every two weeks on average, usually because I would bring something up about him cheating, and he would figure out some way to spin it round on me. Every time we broke up, I felt worthless. Some days I wouldnâ€™t even get out of bed. As soon as we got back together Iâ€™d be happy again and it felt like an instant weight had been lifted off my chest. Until the next break up that is. On Saturday he went to a â€˜friendsâ€™ house and switched his phone off all night. I told him I was done with him, and the next day he text me agreeing that we should end things for good.
I obviously begged him to stay and told him that I didnâ€™t mean what I said but he hasnâ€™t replied and won't answer his phone. I know I canâ€™t keep going through this as it is making me so depressed. But I canâ€™t stand to be away from him. I donâ€™t know if this really is the final break up. I just donâ€™t know what to do anymore.

Adox

October 26, 2014 @ (Oxfordshire)

Tags: Bad breakup

Hi

I've been with my gf for 2 years 2 months and it was love at first sight. We met online and realised we lived in the same town about 400 yards from each other.

We went clubbing as she Is quite the party girl, likes to drink and forget her worries and that's one of a million reasons why I love her so much.

The first year of our relationship was the typical fairy tale, we told each other how much we love each other and want to be this way forever. It was a dream that everyone wanted.

The second year however has been tough. In November last year, we found out we was expecting our little baby together which was fantastic news but it wasn't an easy pregnancy (both have kids from previous relationships) she was constantly in pain, being sick and found it hard to be a normal mother. Then she lost one of her horses that she adored so much, I supported her as much as I could but she put on a brave face and marched on. Finally her dad fell ill with cancer, he lives in the highlands of Scotland so she doesn't see him often but that's what's upsetting her most I think. But to top it all off, now she isn't pregnant, she wants to party again and have her me time, which I understand but our time has vanished. I get extremely jealous when she does go out because that's the only time I see her smile :( when she gets in, usually early hours of the morning, I interrogate her asking her about whether other men have been around her. I'm my own worst enemy because I imagine situations that never happened and believe what never exists.

I had the courage last night to ask her if this relationship is worth saving, she replied I do not know. I asked if she loves me and again the answer was I do not know. I broke there and then, I didn't know how to be anymore. So I asked where do we go from here and she asked me for a break where I move out, restrict contact so she can have space and time to think about what she wants.

Today is the day Iove out and I won't see her or maybe here from her till her head has been cleared and she can concentrate on exactly what she wants.

I'm lost without her, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I feel sick all the time, I'm shaking all the time for I do not know if the outcome is going to be what I hope for but time is needed to pass and as I cry typing this, I fear the answer is there, written on her face but is going to take time for the answer.

I must do what it takes to stop being a jealous man if I'm ever going to prove what I'm worth and in time I hope she sees me as she did before

Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

Justanothergirl.

October 04, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad break up, sad break up

Year 9:
I met him on a train, he went to my brother school.
September 17th 2012, he asked me out.

Year 11:
Almost two years, we were the strongest couple in our school, he was kind, caring, perfect, we won prince and princess at our school formal.
I often overreacted at some stuff, and whenever i did i would always pull the "lets break up then" card, but we always worked them out, always! We were so tight, and he was so clingy and i loved that about him.
Then one day we had a fight, we were skyping and he shared screens with me and it was porn, and then he quickly hung up and said "i don't know how it got there." I wasn't mad, just upset, i couldn't even satisfy my own boyfriend, my self esteem dropped i guess. He knew i was upset and kept asking if i was mad, and i chucked the "lets take a break then" card. I regret it.
He didn't even fight for me.
He texted me a day before my birthday that "I hurt him too much" and he "couldn't handle it" 5 days before our 2 year anniversary.

To think that they guy who planned your whole future together, told you where he was going to propose, how many kids you two were having, break up with you, yeah. that sucks.

Am I in the wrong? Ah, im so confused.

Enamiran

September 05, 2014 @ (algeria)

Tags: sad

i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)

Thadra S

August 13, 2014 @ (Minneapolis)

Tags: dating a musician, funny break up,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sz9A6jURpg

Henry Lee

August 10, 2014 @ (Singapore )

Tags: Bad break up nasty person

I meet my first serious gf at uni thru mutual friends. We really clicked and we dated and became a couple about 3 months later. She told me her last serious relationship was 2 years ago. Then 5 months after we first met, she told me that she had broken up with someone 4 weeks before she met me. And that she needed space of course. To cut a long story short , she broke up with me soon after. I was heart broken feeling sad and also very angry . I felt she tricked me into investing emotionally into her. I loved her and thought she could be my wife .
I went no contact to heal . The first few months were bad . Insomnia, severe low mood . I wept and cried daily . After 4 months, I began to feel better. Then our mutual friends started telling my ex was sorry she lied and then told me the truth later and yada yada. I wanted so much to ask why tell me the truth 5 months into dating if she was sure of her feelings? But I thought nay forget it she does not even have the courage to speak to me in person. So I told our mutual friends not to relay messages for her. When I began dating again 8 months later , my ex gf tried to speak to me. I shut her down completely . Then she stared rumours . I met my next gf and future wife 18 months after the breakup.

Pauly

August 03, 2014 @ (Neverland)

Tags: shit happens, life goes on, confused,

I met him in high school. It was a whirlwind kind of love. Innocent, reckless, gentle, and daring. I did not realize it then, but I realized now how much I loved the way he smiles and the way he laughs. The way his messy hair falls on his eyes, and I brush it off. The way he takes my hand and pulls me into his warm embrace. But then, it was not always like that. He'd be so suspicious, so distrustful. He doesn't believe that I can just be friends with a guy. Even with a five year record, he can't bring himself to believe that I am just as head over heels for him. Funny how he almost broke up with me for another bitch.
All of a sudden he breaks up with me saying shit like he's ashamed because I'm way out of his league. Shit like he can't keep his hands off me. Shit like he's thinking what's better for me and that's a future without him. Well shit. It wasn't the first time, but it felt painfully like the last break up we will ever have. He comes crawling back and I happily accept him. He lies straight to my face, and I broke up with him. But Im having doubts.

Steven G

July 11, 2014 @ (Yonkers, NY)

Tags: love, loss, bad break up, cheating, relationship

I have yet to go wrong on a â€œgut feelingâ€ when it comes to a disaster with a significant other. I somehow can sense the bomb going off but never in time to defuse it. The most recent example was by a lovely lady I was seeing for several months. She and I did not land on solid ground due to the conditions of our start. We shared many laughs, cries, and plenty about each other during that time. I was hesitant at first about her feelings at first, not knowing if they were true or just brought up by the circumstances of her previous relationship. We shared a wild, strong sexual appetite during the first half of our relationship. Facing personal dilemmas and financial difficulties; she pursued a second job in which she could balance herself with. She quickly got an offer to work a gentlemenâ€™s club as a coat checker. I saw the potential for disaster, keeping in mind her personality, state of mind, and lack of experience with the world. I feared that I might lose her in the process to some money throwing pig. Yet I needed to keep my personal fears in check and support who I regarded as my babe with anything she set her mind to. If this one thing could break us, than all my suspicions would be true; if they donâ€™t than we could move forward, take the leap into going public with our relationship.

Several weeks later we began to drift apart, we would ignore mutual calls and text. We did not see each other for days at a time. I began to worry about us, and so I began to call her more often, asking how she was and brought up ideas on trips we could take. It had little to no affect, as her eyes and perhaps even her heart were set on someone else whom she met at the gentlemenâ€™s club. One evening we got into an argument; and just like that, she asked me never to speak to her again; without any hesitation on my part, I hung up. The next day I told her we needed to talk; it was important that we clear the air. No response ever came that day, or the next day, or the day after. I tried once more and she quickly delivers the blow â€œI need timeâ€ which we all know to be â€œbreak-up modeâ€. I tried and tried again to see her so we could talk, all while sensing the inevitable blow that was soon to come. I would go to her apartment late at night, and she and her truck wouldnâ€™t be there. I knew that I had lost her at this point; or maybe just 99%. I took a chance and went to her one last time; even after she told me not to. I gave her everything that she ever wanted, with a promise to be there always. She wasnâ€™t giving in, she could not see being with me being better than the guy that she met recently. I knew that my words were barely chipping away at her wall. She was cold all throughout this and yet at the end she hugged me and showed me signs of remorse or sympathy. Before she walked back in I asked her, if in this last moment, we could turn things around and try to work this out with a clean slate. Her lips said no, but in her eyes, I saw a glimmer of yes. Despite what I felt, she gave me the closure I had asked her for. I wished her the best, and reminded her that I would always have her in my heart. Got in my car, and I had the most difficult drive of my life.