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Poor Guy

December 01, 2011 @ (India)

I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol

Elove

November 19, 2011 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: break up

lets call him alex. he asked me to be his girlfriend on september 25, 2009. he was sweet, caring, funny, i loved him with all my soul and he would always tell me that he loves me that i was his only one. he would tell me that he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. he was my happiness, my everything. we went out on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays. since the moment i met his family we got along so well. on january 2010 he was acting sort of distant with me. i wondered what i did wrong. then the last week of that month we were talking on the phone and he told me that he needed a break. that he was stressed out cause of school and football. i cried, i was broken. the next day he texted me and told me that he had actually cheated on me, i didnt believe him. so i talked to a mutual friend we both have and he told me that alex was lying to me that he just told me that he cheated on me so that i can forget bout him. so i acted like i didnt know this with alex. then that same week he had injured his ankle and i went to see him. i knew we had to fix things and i was afraid it was gonna be our last goodbye. but i was wrong. when i got there i saw him sitting on his bed and he told me to sit down next to him. i couldnt look at him so i just stared at his ankle and i had tears in my eyes and he told me he was sorry for what he "did." he touched my arm and i pulled away. i moved a little bit afar from where he was sitting and he moved closer and i wouldnt let him touch me. he then grabbed me and pulled me close to him and he started crying. then i cried. it was so emotional and i knew it wasnt the end. eventually we ended up getting back together and i was happy again. throughout the relationship we often talked about sex and i would tell him how i wanted to wait until marriage. he said he would wait for me. he said he was a virgin too then on february 8 he came over to my house and he said "u know we're gonna be together forever so why not get it over with?" so i gave in. worst mistake ever. we lost our virginity to each other. he then told me that he lied to me bout cheating and that he would never ever do that to me. from there our relationship went back to normal he was so sweet and caring. then came April and things were getting suspicious. the day after my birthday i found out trough my brothers phone that alex liked this other girl lets call her gina. i was broken. that weekend we got into an argument and he said that i still loved my ex he was putting words into my mouth that werent true. i made him tell me who this gina girl was and he ended up telling me that its the girl he likes and that he was confused bout both of us, and that the day of my birthday he had seen her and kissed her. so he said he cheated. i cried that whole day and then that week i went to see him and we acted like nothing happened we later planned our last day together, a week later he came to my house and spent one last day of our relationship with me. he told me then that he wasnt gonna get with gina and that our thing was just a break till he stopped being confused. i believed him, so i left it at that. a week later i find out that he got with her and i was depressed. 2 days after that i did a stupid thing. i got drunk and ended up intoxicated in the hospital. i had more than 100% alcohol in my body and if it wasnt for the paramedics i wouldn't be here telling my story. and i blamed him for what i did. after that i only saw him two times and eventually he cheated on gina with me. one day he told me he wanted to get back with me and that we can keep it low-key. i didnt accept that offer. so forward to November of 2010. gina requested me on FB and we talked. she said they were having problems and idk what. i ended up telling her that he cheated on her with me. she told me that they both lost it to each other and i was like WTF i ended up telling her that it wasnt true cause i lost it to him and well thats when she realized that he is a player and a lier. he would deny the fact that he did it with me but watever we both know he lied. so i'll leave it at that. i loved him so much and i never thought this would happen. its hard for me to trust any guy again. i wish i never met him but then again i dont regret all those amazing moments i shared with him. i still keep his gifts and letters and his shirt. i miss him and i still love him but im willing to move on.

Trevor Mac

November 10, 2011 @ (Cali)

Tags: Just wait

Ooh just wait mines comeing I just know it :)

Phil

September 30, 2011 @ (Canda)

Tags: Heartache

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We had been dating for about 11 months. On our first date she told me she had slept with 25 ment which didnt bother me at first but started to bother me when we kept running into them all the time when we went out (prob 12 differnet guys) The reason i initiated the break up was because she goes out drinking once or twice a week (i used to go with her) and come back at 3 unable to talk or walk she is so drunk. she is permanently on anti depressants, her grandmother is a ragins alcholic, as is her aunt and her dad is a recovering alcohilic. i tried to tell her she had issues with alcohol but she wouldnt accept it. she cut back for a while but started up again. She blacks out almost every time she drinks. I emailed her parents with her consent telling them thaat she needed help and she has just started seeing a counsillor eery two weeks. AFter we broke up we were still texting all the time so I imposed a one week communicaiton ban to see how we both felt. Once the ban was finished we ran into each other in a bar and she said that she still really loved me and that she didnt want to be with anyone else but she just couldnt be with anyone and is convinced she is going to spend her life alone just like her aunt. I told her I loved her but she just kept saying she couldnt be with anyone. She says I deserve so musch better than her. I go home and she stays out to party. The next day I go round to hers to tell her i still love her and will never give up on her. I look through the bedroom window as she wont answer the phone and she is in bed with another guy! i am devastated. She comes out and says they didnt sleep together, just kissed at the bar and then she came home by herself and then he called her after as there was a party in her building and then he had a beer on the couch while she went to bed and then he came and slept in the bed after. Says she kept her nightie on with her underwear. I asked her to swear on my life that nothing sexual happened and she did. She crys for 4 hours the next day and says she so sorry she hurt me and she still loves me. I tell her to neer contact me again. A few days later she sends me a text saying "i just want you to know, i hope your doing ok" I didnt reply No contact since then, that was a few days ago.

Miss Boo

July 06, 2011 @ (UT)

Tags: break-up, crazy

The summer before my first year of high school I started dating one of my best guy friends, Jesus. He had been my best friend since the beginning of middle school and we were so close. I had liked him for awhile and he had no idea entire time. Right before school ended he told me that at first the only reason he had started talking to me was because he thought I was just some hot girl he could get with and be done with but after we started talking he realized that I was actually I really funny, nice person that he decided to just be friends with me.
I didn't tell him that I liked him I just said "Oh! That is so sweet, blah, blah, blah." My girl best friend is the one that told him I did because she was mad at me and didn't realize that he liked me a lot and it as actually good news to him. The next day he asked me out and I was more than surprised. I said yes of course and then we started dating.
Not long after that his crazy started coming out. I'd wake up with like 80 text messages from him. If I didn't call him back or answer a message from him in like 5 minutes he would send me 10 half angry half worried. I just wrote it off for awhile. Just thinking he really must love me or he must really be bored.
I had to go out to visit my dad in Alabama for 3 weeks and I told him I probably wouldn't be using my phone that much so he shouldn't worry. That is when he went REALLY crazy. He would send me pictures of my house at like weird times of the day and if I didn't answer he would slice up his arms and legs and send me pictures of it bleeding and gross. It was all just to weird. I told him when I got back we needed to talk in person. He said okay but still kept up the weird stuff. When I got home we went to a park to talk. It was all just a really weird day. I told him we needed to take a little break so I could decide if I wanted to move to Alabama to live with my dad. He went insane.
End of story summed up real quick. He got violent. I had to change my number. Change our locks. Only go outside with someone else and I never stayed home by myself. We almost filed for a restraining order, instead we just got him sent to a different school.

Kay

May 21, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: example1, example2

We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.

Jayleen

May 17, 2011 @ (e.c)

Tags: idk?

hi my name is jayleen and im 13 years old and this is how the it all happened:last year (2010) a boy named carlos wanted to be my friend and then after a while when we started to get to know eachother more , he asked me out 3 times just for me to say yes ; and one day on april 27,2010 we were talking over the phone and i was talking and then out of nowhere he cut me off and asked me out and then i said i dont know i have to think about it because you know that i have no feelings for you in that way and then and then he said aww okay i guess and then i said dont be sad just text me or call me tomorrow and i will tell you my answer and then he said okay and thats when we had hung up and then the next day,while i was at school,he texted me and the text said "hey this is carlos so whats your answer"and then i said my answer is yes and then he said he loved me and then i said i love you too and then after a while later (days,weeks)thats when i really started to fall hard for him and then so 2 months had passed and we got into an arguement and i got to that point where i was really mad and just blew up and started saying things that i didnt mean and then i said "its over im done with you carlos!!"and then he said okay and then thats when i finally realized what i have done and then i started crying my heart out! and i was crying so much and bad that i couldnt breathe and cried myself to sleep and then the next night,he texted me saying"are we really over?"i texted him back saying yes why? and then he said oh okay because im gonna ask out your best friend and then i said who is my best friend and then he said winoska and when he said that,that really hurt me more than me breaking up with him and i started crying so much and bad that my heart broke into a billion pieces! and even though he wasnt my first boyfriend,he was the first boy i ever loved and cried for and i never knew what love was until i met him i was 12 years old in the 5th grade until i knew what love was and that was because he showed me what love was and he proved to me that he was different from the other boys i ever dated and everyday since we broke up,(july 11,2010)i cry myself to sleep until this very day and i regret ever leaving him but i didnt know that i needed him until i left him! and i have full experience on what love is that i learned from a very young age and when i tell people this story,they cried

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen

DJ

April 13, 2011 @ (U.S.)

Tags: broken up heart

So here's my story:

I'm 17, just your average guy, I play a lot of sports, have a job... my girlfriend of almost a year dumped me 2 months ago. I met her over 3 years ago at a youth group. We were close friends for 2 years before we started dating. Last February we started hanging out a lot. By the time Summer started we were head over heals in love with each other. I guess I was kind of the "bad boy" we snuck out all Summer long and I disrespected her grandfather whom she was living with at the time. In August he kicked her out of his house and she was forced to move in with her alcoholic/abusive mother who is the only other person she had to live with. She doesn't have any other family and her entire family has a whole lot of problems. She also has a past of a lot of abuse in her history as I found out eventually. As for me, I also do not have any family or relatives. I live alone with my single mother and my younger siblings. My family has just as many problems as hers does. My mother is really the only person I have, however, we are not that close. My ex-girlfriend goes to a different high school then me and as we went through the school year her life became very challenging at home. We stayed together though. I was there for her through it all time-and-time again. I even got my ma to let her live with us for a while to be away from her life at home. In my heart she became the love of my life. We had so much in common in our pasts. The same goals for our futures. We could understand each others pain like no one ever could. I loved her with all my heart for near 10 months

Anyways we started fighting because of her own problems at home. This went on all the way through December and January. I tried to be supportive of her problems, but she started pushing me away, more so every couple weeks. In February, after I hadn't seen her in 3 whole weeks (which she filled with excuses, and insincere reasons why she couldn't see me) she called me and broke up with me on the phone. I asked if I could at least see her one more time. She refused. I asked her why it had come to this and her reasons were things such as she wanted to be independent, she did't wanna be in a relationship anymore, she didn't feel like we should take relationships so seriously at this time in our life, blah blah blah. So after hours of tears on my part I let her go. If this is what she wanted, then I wanted her to just be happy. Anyways, I had been the only one really holding the relationship together for 3 months and I couldn't take it anymore. I never texted her or called her once after we broke up on the stupid phone that night.

Two weeks later after a lot of pain and hurt, I was at a party with some buddies. I asked a mutual friend who I saw there how she was doing to find out that she had been cheating on me with some fuckin douche bag who's six foot-seven, plays basketball, drives a 2010 mustang, is rich, and apparently is a big player at her school. This hurt so much that I ended up getting in a fight with another guy at the party. I couldn't sleep for days, and still have a lot of trouble sleeping. I wanted really bad to go find this guy she'd been cheating on me with. Luckily I didn't. Now I'm sitting here a month later still heartbroken. She has made me hate my life, and according to people she's having a great time with this other guy. I've gone out with 2 girls since we broke and neither one of them has meant anything to me. As of right now I hate my life, I hate her, and I wish she was NEVER ever a part of my life.

That's basically my story. Enough said.

Dumped

February 20, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: cold breakup

I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.

So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.

Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.

Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”

Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.