Tags: Hurtful breakup
I met this guy on a site called meetme.com. we talked for about two weeks before meeting. We hit it off and began seeing eachother. Well about 3 weeks ago (early June 2017) we go on a long road trip and he brings up that he not only wants us to keep saying but he wants us to be exclusive. This made me very happy. I was shocked by this because most times it's the girl that brings this stuff up. So after we became exclusive, I noticed that he didn't want me around that much. He kept saying he was meeting his "buddies to hang out. Well on a Saturday, he asked me to come over after I got off work. I went over and we snuggled up in bed and talked for a while. I went to get me a drink at the gas station and got him an energy drink. I return, not gone 30 min, and he says his boss came by and wants him to go help him with some stuff. He then says he has plans to go see a "buddy in kansas. I was upset that I couldn't spend time with him. He told me I could stay at his place and help myself to what ever. He leaves. He texts me while he's gone asking how I'm doing and such. Then around 6p he texts me and says "you need to leave. My landlady is coming by." I told him I would stay to let her in. He says nothing. I knew in my guy what was up. So I put his dog in the kennel and leave. I let him know I'm gone and his all sweet to me about it. He promises to come by my place later. Of course he doesn't because a "buddy" needs a place to stay because his power went out. He calls me and talks all sweet. I still knew in my gut... the next day I get up and drive by his place...there was the car of another female. I go home, highly upset and text him about how he made me feel knowing he was cheating and why would he bother telling me he wants to be exclusive when he had no intention to do it himself. He never said a word. I've logged into the site I've met him at and he's still logging on. I guess it's true, leopard never changes his spots. He did all of this knowing I was still mourning the loss of my mom, who passed in January. I talked to him about her and everythng. And he still chose to hurt me like this.
Tags: cold breakup
I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.
So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.
Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.
Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”
Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.
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