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Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

Ksofia

September 23, 2014 @ (Tampa )

Tags: Bad break upj

Well I met this boy in high school a year and a half ago, he wasn't even the tipe of guys I would go for, we were complete opposites, but we became good friends for about two months and started dating. We hit it of so well it was one of my most amazing loves. Through out our relationship there was this girl that would always want contact him and I never trusted her, me and him would have disputes everytime she messaged him it never stopped. When I told him to block her on facebook she had a tumbler with a nudes picture of her self and she massaged him through there as well, when I found that I told him to delete it. I thought finally she would stop. Anyways one day he comes home and just breaks up with me no reason or explanations I was shocked so heartbroken. And I couldnt help but think it was because of her.. The next day I texted him and Told him I would pick him up from work to talk, we did and he treated me like he'd never shared a life with me. A complete jerk! All he kept saying was "I need time" and he claimed to still love me. He even said that after time passes he would make up his mind about us, giving me false hope. All for what? I couldn't take it anymore, decided to hack all his social medias and it turns out had been talking to this girl months before. This girl is honestly the lowest of the lowest, and he completely disgust me. I thought so high of him, believing his every promise and it turn out he's was just a liar. And would drop me all for some girl that told him showed him and promises to do all sorts of nasty things to him. i wish he would have broken up with me before starting all these things with this girl. Thats what hurt the most. All this happened behind my back. I'm glad I get to move on and not have to worry about him because honestly he's not even the list not worth it anymore.

Not RealName

September 05, 2014 @ (Ohio)

Tags: stalking bad breakup

I dated a guy a year younger than me in high school. The relationship went really well for 5 months. We were in marching band together and were very different people. I was in color guard and he was a clarinet. I was really bubbly and extroverted while he was quiet and sweet. We meshed well with our differences. But he was always too reserved. He never told me what he was thinking, would be quiet often just following me, so I felt emotionally unfulfilled and lonely in the relationship. He also never made any of the first moves. We went to Disney World with our band and we were watching the fireworks over the Disney castle, Tinker Bell flying through the air, the perfect romantic setting. But he never kissed me...and that was one first move I could never make. I wanted to feel wanted.
So I began distancing myself from him. He noticed and started being clingier. He followed me everywhere in school. He would even stand behind me while I ate lunch with friends. It was creepy. Eventually I was on crutches and I felt like a wounded animal while he was stalking his prey. He chased me into the girl's bathroom on crutches with friends trying to protect me. He wasn't violent, just desperate. Then one day that changed.
He was waiting for me to come in and watched me go to my locker. I moved slowly in fear and tried to phone friends to come help me but none of them responded fast enough. So I limped to class and he bolted after me. He kept saying things like "Why won't you talk to me? Just listen to me." I didn't say anything. Then he got so mad he pushed me and I fell into a very rough brick wall. I got scratched by the bricks and it hurt. I screamed for him to go away and he ran off with everyone looking. I got him suspended. But he tried to stalk me for years after that. We never even kissed...
Anyways plot twist: We're getting married now.

Shawn

August 10, 2014 @ (LA)

Tags: breakup, long distance, promises broken, caught in the act, secrecy, kung fu, woes, ranting, betrayal, confused, hurt,

I met her many years back in high school. I got'a say, after she broke up with her lousy ex, she took affection towards me, and I the same, and that summer, we were together. Now, we actually did a long distance relationship, which now, I don't believe it works, simply because you lose so much time to know each other. Three years holding on to her, to find out that the only reason why she wants me to come home this summer was to find out if I am still good for her. I need to say, I did goof up a bit, always was over my head to make sure she was still into me, and that she didn't find someone else. She had so many things going on for her, a ton of activities, and I always ran into thoughts about "what if she found someone else that can actually be with her?". This year, I got a little anxious, and went overboard to the point where she wanted to see me, like I said a few sentences ago, if I am still the one for her. Then, for some reason, she told me that "she doesn't deserve to be with me" and breaks up with me, in the BEGINNING of the summer. Now that sucks. And she thinks that I felt the same way. After that, she posts on Facebook about how amazing her life is in Kung Fu, and about how others there are so perfect for her. I poured my heart out for her, and now I found her hanging out with other people tonight at this event. I thought I saw her looking at me, and then ignoring me back and forth. Now I know that she set me up for her own good. She told me that she could wait for me, and pulled this crap? I actually had stuff lined up this summer for my career, and all I get was a "I can't be with you, it's not fair for you"? Well now she knows why I was so damn anxious and in-her-business, and now I know, LONG DISTANCE NEVER WORKS! And I will never make that same mistake again. But first I need to pack away the tons of pictures and things she gave me of us so I don't do something stupid.

Mai

August 10, 2014 @ (Philippines)

Tags: breakup woes, break up

My ex and I met at WeChat. I'm 10 years older than him and he had a daughter from a previous relationship. I'm generally generous (money, time, resources) with boyfriends and he was not an excemption. The relatinship was ok at first but during the last month of our 6 moths relationship, his behavior became erratic. I was hospitalized for 5 days for gastro and he was just contented to call and check on me. Citing his duty in the military prevents him so. Then when I had to go home to the province, he suddenly had this urge to go to his province eventhough this was affected by a super storm. I had sensed that he took someone with him there.First day of the month he didn't call or text. This made me worry since he never in our 6 months together forget to call or text me. I had to calling his friend. When he did finally receive my call, he didn't speak and and I was just left hanging. I told his friend that probably we are breaking up. He called after my call to his friends, asking for a "cool off" to think things over. He loves me but he also loves her daughter. Since for his daughter, he also needs to love the mother (his ex). So I gave him time. He called after 5 days and it was a cold , short call asking how am I. After 3 days, it was my time to call him and asked if he wants more time. He was grumpy, saying he's sick. Being the ever attentive gf, I asked him if he has medicine and, if he is eating the right food and if he's in Manila already. Being grumpy, he said something like I don't need to take care of him and cut off the line. Thinking it was a bad reception, I called and he kept cutting it. I called his friend and my ex answered, yelling that I am stubborn and dont call him anymore. A few minutes, he texted he can't come back, he's sorry, i shouldn't think about him and he can take care of himself.

until now, i kept wondering: " why didn't he just say he doesnt love and need me anymore instead of using his daughter as alibi?"

Henry Lee

August 10, 2014 @ (Singapore )

Tags: Bad break up nasty person

I meet my first serious gf at uni thru mutual friends. We really clicked and we dated and became a couple about 3 months later. She told me her last serious relationship was 2 years ago. Then 5 months after we first met, she told me that she had broken up with someone 4 weeks before she met me. And that she needed space of course. To cut a long story short , she broke up with me soon after. I was heart broken feeling sad and also very angry . I felt she tricked me into investing emotionally into her. I loved her and thought she could be my wife .
I went no contact to heal . The first few months were bad . Insomnia, severe low mood . I wept and cried daily . After 4 months, I began to feel better. Then our mutual friends started telling my ex was sorry she lied and then told me the truth later and yada yada. I wanted so much to ask why tell me the truth 5 months into dating if she was sure of her feelings? But I thought nay forget it she does not even have the courage to speak to me in person. So I told our mutual friends not to relay messages for her. When I began dating again 8 months later , my ex gf tried to speak to me. I shut her down completely . Then she stared rumours . I met my next gf and future wife 18 months after the breakup.

Anonymous

August 08, 2014 @ (Pakistan)

Tags: Complicated

I don't really know how to describe this relationship in words. It's just too complicated and no one can understand this other than the two of us and at times even we think we don't get this whole thing. I don't really know I should break up with him and just move on in my life or just try to fix everything up and try to work this whole long distance and complicated relationship out. i don't really know. I love him a lot but I don't really think that I can take this pain anymore! It's been 3 and a half years and we have so many memories together and I don't really that I can ever forget him and love another guy.

Natasha

August 08, 2014 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: bad breakup, betrayal

Ok, so here it goes. We met in college at 19 years old, he pursued me. We went out on a date and boom from there we saw each other multiple times, got into a relationship and fell in love. He was my first love and he broke my heart. We were together about 4 and 1/2 years, he lived with me in my mom's house and we didn't charge him any rent or anything always made sure he had food, clothes whatever he needed, I took care of him pretty much. He was a great guy, always treated me well but very unmotivated which caused me to be very bitchy towards him because I just wanted him to make something of himself and do something with his life. When you are with someone almost 5 years you want your relationship to move forward and progress and I just felt like we were stuck. Besides the point I made many mistakes in the relationship too but what happened in the end is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. We started to drift and I noticed so he went away for the weekend as did I separately to think things over and I wanted to work on it because I was still in love with him and he didn't have any desire to work on it so just like that it was over. Now here comes the good part. I confided in one of my close friends about the breakup and told her I was still in love with my ex only to find out her and him started dating 2 weeks later after him and I broke up and apparently they are in love now and in a relationship. Mind you I know this girl since I was 12 years old. My heart is shattered into pieces, it is honestly a horrible feeling when someone betrays you like this especially when you spend so much time with a person and they say they will never hurt you but they do. The biggest lesson I have learned from this is to never put to much trust in anyone. Honestly this situation has made me doubt ever wanting to fall in love again because the heartbreak just hurts to much.

Janessa

July 28, 2014 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: confused

We've been dating since last July, and he's as sweet as can be.. at first. But eventually a man shows his true colors and stops doing everything he did to get you. Regardless, our relationship pretty much was just about sex to him. Which is probly why im 5 months pregnant. You would think that someone who's about to be a father would grow up and mature some to prepare himself.. nope. Hes 22 still lives with his parents and doesn't even have a license. What a joke. Well yesterday was our baby shower, and he acted soo stupid the whole time. He wasnt even with me the whole day. He wouldn't even take a picture with me cause his brother was there; and we were still together. Afterwards he left with his brother and came back home at 10 pm. He didnt even open gifts with me, just went straight to sleep. Well that caused a huge argument and now he talks about me blaming him for everything so he left and said he was walking home, all the way to palm bay.. I told Jim to jusy break up with me if hea not happy. Some how I think he only stays for the baby's sake, and I dont want that.

Diana

July 13, 2014 @ (where I belong)

Tags: bad breakup

Well, I'm with this guy since October last year. Our relationship was good. He was so caring and sweet to me. Like ohh he knew how to make me feel comfortable. I was really loved him. Till in February when he was sleeping beside me, I took his phone and there is a messages from other chick. He's such flirty with that girl. I never imagined he would cheat on me. Next day I told him about this and he admitted it and sorry to me. Ok, I was forgiving him. Our relationship was good again. And on April he's moved to another city. He promised to always call me and never ignore me. But, a liar is a liar. He never call me or text me. Everytime I calls/texts him he never reply. And then I went to twitter and I caught him had a conversation with different girl. I shocked and I was crying every night, I couldn't sleep cause I can't stop thinking about him. I was confused with this relationship. I talked with alot of people about this and they were giving me some advice and the last was always "break him up" . After I'm sure with this, I was breaking up with him by the phone cause there's no way to go to his current city and he was fine with it. And till now I'm still trying to move on from him, and yesterday he textd me and he want me to get back with him again. He told me her new girl cheated on him. And... oh my bad, I was evil laughs plus I think I'm fall in love with him again. So I was crying at that time, I'm sooooo confused. I talked about it to my best friend, and she said "he will hurt you again" . And until now I keep ignoring his text and never answer his call. But now I'm afraid to start a relationship again. Because of him I have a trauma. And now I think all of the boys are the same.