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Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

John

April 21, 2015 @ (Ohio)

Tags: Rough

*Hi! So I'm labeling myself as John and the gf as Tonya (neither of these are the real names btw) and keep in mind it's not very interesting as we are only 13 year old adolescents but I digress.*
So, Tonya and I have been following each other on social media for a while only admitting to close friends our attraction for the other. We have never talked irl since we had no classes together. My school was holding a social eventXD on Oct. 31st and we both happened to go. We talked and had a great time and we didn't even know about the other liking the other yet. We started texting etc. and finally, on Nov. 8th, we started dating. The next few months of my life were the best even if there was a lot of arguing. It never was serious so we just didn't mind.(none of this happened irl, only whilst texting which is why I loved always being near her) Anyways, in March, we argued like Hell for a few days and here's how it went down. We just randomly started being awkward around each other then we started to fight, yatatatatata, and she was about to break up with me but I convinced her not to but the next day I asked her if she loved me then we started fighting again so I told her to not talk to me until tomorrow(Which is when I would be breaking up with her) but I only asked her that because we started fighting the day before because she said she didn't love me like she did a month ago. She treated it like it was a stupid question so yeah. That night, all I did was cry, I didn't sleep. I cried. The next day we broke up and i started crying while I broke up and we hugged then we stopped texting for a while. It still hits home every time I think about it cuz she went for at least a month just dating me because she felt like she had to.
Recently, I've been trying to get on her good side because in a week or so, we have a dance coming up and I want to try again.
My attempts at getting on her good side are horrible and keep getting worse so, wish me luck

Layla

April 19, 2015 @ (LA)

Tags: Bad break up

So, I had this boyfriend in high school. He met me through social media and he went to my school but I've never seen him around. He messaged me and he was messaging a bunch of other girls that he was also interested in. But when we were texting, he didn't reply for a week. And I had an awful gut feeling about him, idk why. But I was a fool for not listening to it. Anyways, after that week, he finally messaged me and he continued for a while. Then he asked me out on a date. Boy was I excited. My first date. We went to the movies and he bought my ticket already. It was sweet. Then after a month he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and things were well. The problem was, he lied to me about everything. Which caused me to always be sad. He would still follow girls that he used to have feelings for. I politely asked a bunch of times and gave him hints it bothered me. And he knew it. I mean, I appreciated all the dates and flowers. We were together for 7 months. I gave him me. He gave me him. We were in love. But little did I know, he wasn't. It was hard dating someone who would stare at girls for 15 minutes when you would go on dates. I wished he looked at me the way he looked at them. And of course I wasn't perfect, but I did EVERYTHING for him. All I wanted was to make him smile. At the end of the relationship, he followed back 7 girls and I was furious. I was at practice and saw and I just almost clasped. I knew things were going down hill. Then the day of the break up he comes to my house and he claims to be a gentleman he honked at me to come outside. Then he brings me to a park and writes a list of things that he thought was wrong with me. Example on the list "playing games" I asked for 1 thing, stop following girls he used to like and stop lying to me. I knew he was lying about everything. And 1 girl I knew he really liked. Which was hard. So anyways, he told me I was immature and I'm always sad. I'm always sad because my boyfriend wants other girls. But truthfully it wasn't worth it to fight about it. So I just said he was right. And he asked me to prom then he just ripped it away from me. First he said "I want you to still think if you wanna go to prom with me" then to " I need time to think" then to "I can't do this anymore" he is a compulsive liar. And seeing him follow girls and not respecting my wishes hurt. Because I cared more than anything for this guy. I just wanted to make him smile. I would leave little treats in his locker and write him notes. But I was too nice, and he was really cocky. Like one time he told me "appreantly the whole cheerleading team likes me" and he just was rude. The way he ended the relationship was not what a true gentleman would do. Which he claims to be. I don't care how many flowers you get me, if you lie and constantly want other girls, and don't respect my wishes. You shouldn't be here. Then, 2 days after we broke up, he was already talking to a girl. Seeing prom pics was hard but I'm getting over the whole situation and I'm a better person because of it. Karma is a bitch, and it will hit him. Because I wasn't the prettiest or the smartest, but I swear I loved him more than any girl would ever. So ya, just know loves things get better.â¤ï¸ðŸ˜Š

AZ

April 11, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: first Love, First break up, second chance, back together

My story might be a little different, but still the same feelings, the same pain. I am a guy and i fell in love with another guy this was my first relationship with a guy. We met in March of 2014 everything was great from day one. We met at a parking lot at the willowbrook mall in Houston, TX. We were great together, we wouldn't go 24hrs without texting each other. He told me from the begining he was scared of getting hurt and wanted to take everything slow, he said he had moved too fast before and only ended up getting hurt. He didnt want to make the same mistake this time. We never became an official couple, but we were officially dating. He told me what he was feeling was getting stronger and it was freaking him and he didnt want to lose me. We went on a few road trips, Marfa, TX Austin, San Antonio it was great. We used to see each other a few times per week almost a year later we started seeing each other less and less, he put this big distance between us i didnt know why and it was killing me. In October I decided to ask him to take it to the next step, he straight out said no, he didnt want to get hurt or move to fast. I told him i would wait for him. We kept hanging out, things were ok I was already in love, but i was also scared. so in March i finally decided to put the fear aside and tell him i fell in love with him and that i love him so at least he knew how i feel, i didnt want to pressure him. When i told him he probably freaked out, he was more quite than usual. I started feeling sad, i didnt want to lose him. I told him to tell me if he wasnt interested anymore or didnt want to continue dating. He said he was just figuring out himself. On March 18th saw him again and it was the last time i saw him, i texted him he didnt reply at that moment i thought he was ignoring me, avoiding me, he texted me back he said he wasnt. I felt he didnt want to talk to me or hang out anymore it was killing me i didnt know if i did anything wrong, he told me there was not a thing wrong with me that it was all him and he wasnt ready. i told him i had faith we will end up together i had hope he would shop up at my door and tell me he wanted to give it a chance. He said maybe someday, he wasnt ready yet, but he wasnt going to disappear or quit talking to me. That was his last text. He completely ignored me, I didnt know why, i didnt know what happened or what i did wrong. I still havent gotten a text from him. I did everything i could to be together. This is the first time I was in a relationship with a guy, I never thought i could love someone, i never thought i could love a guy this much. I accepted all these feelings, I was ready to tell my family if i had to. Its almost two weeks since he ignored me, his silence is killing me, he didnt give me the gift of closure. I dont know what hurts more to feel that i lost him, to have accepted all these emotions or to be ignored and i dont know why or what happened or if i didnt anything wrong. This is the first time i feel this, the first time i suffer for someone. This is the first time i love someone and it was a guy. And the worse thing is that i still have hope that he will show up at my door, i hope he is just figuring out himself to finally be ready and start something with me. He will be ready someday, he will give someone a chance, i wish that someone was me, i wish it was me the one to make him happy. I love him, he will always be my white guy, the one who brought light into my life.

Jack

April 06, 2015 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad Breakup, Cruel, Cheating

10 days from our 2 year anniversary and there she in another guys bed.

2 years ago we had met at a party things were great we connected really well after about 3 months into our friendship we decided to give it a go. She was my first love and i thought it would be my only love.
Everything was going so well except for the usual fights here and there which i always knew was normal until she got to college she wouldn't text me or call me as much anymore and she always cancelled the last minute for her friends at college. in the last weeks of our relationship I knew deep down she was different. Then one day she called me and said i think we should stop seeing each other i told her i would see her that afternoon. i thought about it all day what i would say to change her mind but i realized that i have to respect her decision as she must have a reason to it that afternoon is exactly what i did. NOT EVEN 24 hours later she text's me saying i've just made the worst decision of my life i had been crying non stop. she had no idea how hurt i was. I got back with her then realized i never really knew why she wanted to break up in the first place so me being me i went to her dorm unexpected at 6am to find her not there then go to this guys dorm bed i knew she was texting and find her in his bed.. Love is too cruel to me

Giovanni

March 30, 2015 @ (The Netherlands)

Tags: bad breakup fml

Okay, so me and this girl were together for about 9 months when she started to become very distant in comparison to how our relationship was in its earlier stages. We had something really special and she used to tell me that all the time. She was my first love and I honestly haven't been able to feel the same way again. It has been two years now.

So what happened was...
She and I had been in a fight because I saw her texting some guy I knew she had a past with. When I confronted her, she lied and said she wasn't texting him. I got mad and we started fighting. The next day, I'm in the train on my way back home from college and we are still fighting. Suddenly she says she wants to break up. I had not yet realised that this would be the definite end. I asked her if I could come by and pick up my stuff. She said it was okay. So I was thinking, i'll try and talk to her and fix things, because talking about it in person would be a lot better for a matter like this.

I show up at her house to pick up my stuff and her dad opens the door. He hands me my shit and off I go. I then realise my first love has come to an end and my first heartbreak is a fact.

In the months after, I couldn't bear seeing her, and if I did see her I'd panic, run off and eventually cry.

Half a year later, come to find out she had been fucking the guy she was texting AND a 'friend' of mine.

Marilu

March 28, 2015 @ (Brazil)

Tags: bad breakup, first love

Started dating this guy in December 2013, and he was the best person I've ever met. I've never felt the things I did when I was around him. He shared his deepest secrets and so did I. I didn't use to believe in love before him, but he managed to make me do it. He said he would never abandon me and I believed it after half a year. He never betrayed me, he never lied to me. The only time he did was when he said he wouldn't give up on me.
I thought things were going great. He even said he loved me that morning, like he always did. But at night he texted and said he needed a time to think. He wanted a break. I asked why and he said it was because of school and as we only saw each other on weekends, he couldn't take it anymore. I cried my eyes out.
Two days after he said we were done, he just didn't want to be with me anymore, but I'm a great person and he still wanted to be friends.
We continued talking like we always did, but now there was pain. I still don't get the point. One day he said he still loved me, the next day he said he didn't know anymore.
Yesterday he asked me out again, and I said yes because I'm desperate to see him again. Today in the morning he cancelled it because he didn't want to.
I can't stop crying. I want him to stop throwing me around like I'm his toy. I want him back so bad. I don't understand.

Lynn

March 23, 2015 @ (Amsterdam)

Tags: Bad breakup hurt pain

For those that read my story they already know how hard my breakup was. To make it even worse my ex texted me, to rub in my fase how happy he is with his new girl. He mentioned he didn't regret cheating and it made him happier. That his new girl is more beautiful and atractive she is because she is thick. I was torn and broken. Anyway my long lost crush texted me I'm over the moon. Hope my midget ex is enjoying his life.

AngelaLovex

March 09, 2015 @ (South Carolina )

Tags: Lying cheating boyfriend

Ever since I met him he always had me wrapped around his fingers. He played hard to get, and when I got him we had a wonderful relationship the first 7 months we were together. He wanted to know If I would be okay with him having an Instagram. I said I didn't trust people on that site. Soon he would act like I was garbage. I poured my love, heart, and tears into this relationship. He broke up with me and talked to other girls, and when we got back together I tried my hardest to show him I love him. I always caught him talking to online girls and he promised each time he wouldn't break my heart again. He stopped texting, calling, and caring. I found out it was because he was talking to another girl. He lied to her about everything and she took him back. I gave him ANOTHER chance and he still didn't appreciate me. I felt lost and used. I finally had enough and said if you can't treat me right and give me attention, we need to break up. He told me we are done, and the same day he saw me to get his crap from my house I called over and over and his new girlfriend picked up, apparently they were on a date. If she only knew the shit he put me through. She is basic anyways she can have him. I am happy now but I still think what if? But I gave it all I could.

Lynn

March 02, 2015 @ (Amsterdam)

Tags: bad breakup hurt

When you think you know someone but you don't know the person at all.

I think every girl can relate to the fact that your first break up hurts the most, it feels like someone ripped your heart out of your chest. You hope you will never feel this severe pain again but unfortunately I did.

I met this guy online and we had an instant click it was so strange because I never engaged in online dating. After we texted each other a week long we decided we should go on a date. The spark that we had trough social media was even greater in real life. I never believed in something like a soul mate but it seemed like it.

I was living a lie I did not know I was living, we had great times and introduced each other to our parents. He promised me a future and used to say the sweetest things.We were like a power couple ready to build an empire together. After a month he started to change laying in bed with him was like being with someone I didn't know. His kisses where cold and his words where empty .

Right before Christmas he told me he is done with the relationship, apparently his feelings where gone. He told me i was a great girl pretty, smart everything but it was not working. He said sorry 100 times but it was all fake. After a week I snooped on his account and found out he had been speaking with a girl on social media for months. They used to send each other the craziest things and laugh about the fact that he was basically cheating. I was torn and broken it felt like someone took my heart and spit on it as if it was nothing. I could not control my emotions and tears kept rolling. I decided to confront him and he kept saying no until I showed him the evidence. He told me he loves her more than he ever loved me and that he is done with me. I started to question myself, i'm i Ugly, not smart enough to fat. All the sweet things he said kept going trough my mind, was my relationship an act. What hurts the most is that I gave 100% in this relationship and I get threaded like i'm just a fool. This has made me really cold and I'm afraid to love cause the pain that comes with it is unbearable.

Love hurts