Searching for "pen"

418 Results For 'pen'

Saleena

November 18, 2015 @ (Australia )

OK well a few weeks ago a guy broke my heart into millions of pieces and i couldn't do anything about ..... could i ??? honestly i still have hope that we will get back together but in my mind he has made it pretty clear he doesn't like me anymore cause he has a crush on someone else and has successfully started dating her ...But people have different ways of moving on and im just doing it slowly he has his reasons for breaking up with me that i didn't see and still dont know why . This would have been the 2nd time we went out the first time was as good but the 2nd time was better we improved on the things we needed to be improved on and i am still strongly in love with him and its going to take me a while to get over but honestly YES i am ONLY 13 but age is just a number all my friends have told me i will get over it just like he has but i honestly cant he is the only person i want my heart to be broken by. the reason im writing this isn't to show people, i just want to get this out of my head and see if it it sounds as stupid as people think. i don't know why but he has broken my heart twice and every time i haven't been able to hate him or dis like him or love him less than i do i know his feelings are gone and he doesn't like/love me anymore but no matter how hard i try and trust me i have tried these feelings wont disappear but why aren't i surprised this one absolutely amazing guy has taken my heart and cased a spell on me i don't no how to deal with these things im only 13 and i have fallen deeply in love. All my friends think he is an awful person for breaking up with me the way he did which was through my friend on a phone call and obviously i was in tears but it was kind he said he didn't want to do it in person cause he didn't want to see me cry.... which i did in fact cry quite ALOT. i have honestly never cried over a guy besides him both times i have cried when he broken up with me and every single time i always fall for him again why... THIS PAIN that i get every time im around him kills me i struggle some days seeing him smiling and laughing with other girls it makes me notice that he has moved on and he actually deserves a better girl than me i made his life stressful that's all i could give to him not love and comfort but stress. i still love him like seriously who couldn't fall in love with a guy like him he is all i think about every single second minute and hour of the day. know im looking back and the time we shared together, the best days of my high school year was the days i spent with him. If i did show any one this i know they will say im just 13 i will find someone again and all of that, that i have heard PLENTY of times. One of the reasons why i have fallen in love with him is cause when he is with me he is a completely different person he is loving comforting and over all just AMAZING and i feel like a different person, every time we were on the phone would be the most memorable moments, we would talk about the future and what it would be like and all of those amazing things but know that has all gone to waste In one letter he wrote me on our 1 month in the end it said i may hold your hand for a while but you will hold my heart forever and i don't know if that was true but at the time i did believe it and he does and will hold my heart forever. Everything i said to him was true, he may not believe it but its true. I AM TRULY SORRY FOR SCREWING THINGS UP WITH HIM and i hate myself everyday for it that it was my fault he is out of my life likely to be FOREVER and i cant control that. i have made a lot of mistakes in my life but loosing him would be the one that i regret and wish i could change the way things turned out for us but I cant control his feelings and at the moment i cant control my own feelings either at the moment all i do know is that i have fallen deeply in love with this absolutely amazing guy ......
^^^
THAT IS MY STORY

Sarah

November 06, 2015 @ (austin tx)

Tags: strength in weakness

So, I have had my fair share of bad breakups, bad relationships and just bad times... when i met him, i just fell head of heals. one he was so good looking, i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world being able to call him mine.. he had the most amazing heart, so pure and always trying to be closer to God... I admired him so much for his humble personality and strive to be a better man... i loved him and he fell in love with me... but after time, we realized we both wanted different things, he didn't want to travel, he wanted to stay in the same small town, he didn't care for finishing college as i wanted to eventually get my doctorates... he said he felt like we just weren't compatable.. and it broke my heart but when it happened... i remembered my breakup before him and how i would lean on drinking and clubbing to find comfort only to lead myself into an even more painful path... this time, i decided to read the bible, to pray more.. and i am still trying to do so... things happen in our life, that makes us want to crawl into bed and never get up... but we have to be strong, and that strength doesn't come from drinking, or partying or hooking up with other people... it comes from the one who know us better than anyone else, the one who died so that we can have a chance... i dont know if you believe in God of not... or if you are struggling with faith, or if you just don't know about God, but when something happens in your life that brings you down... God could be using it as an opportunity to draw him closer to you... cause it's at our weakest that his strength shines the brightest... losing my boyfriend sucked, it broke my heart and i had to deal with a lot of self esteem issues... but i'm trying every day to be happy... to see the bigger picture... to be able to say i may not be fine right now, but God has a plan for me...
i just encourage anyone with a broken heart to pray, it is so powerful and can really make a difference... it is for me at least

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

William

October 29, 2015 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad Breakup, Funny Breakup

After recovering from a rough two years of isolating heart ache, I finally felt happy within myself. I reunited with my old high school crush, who's company needless to say was pure enlightenment and began to build a strong, trusting relationship. we spent weeks at a time going back and forth between each others homes until my father had become ill and required my share of over night care and regular visits. so my girlfriend would make use of the spare time by going out with her friends reviving her old night life. i was endorsing her late night adventures and encouraged her to have fun while i was away; as i had complete trust in her loyalty.

As it was necessary for me to be away for some odd days of the week, it was common for my friend to regularly turn up unannounced at my home, this time to her welcoming hospitality. This i thought was positive company as he had previously supported me through my years of isolation which ended some few months before.

I became excited to have my relationship compatible with my friendship as i hadn't as much spare time for my friend as i had done during my great depression. though it dawned on me that my girlfriend had developed a noticeable distance that had become to evolve either from the nights out with the girls or to the least of my suspicion my closest childhood friend.

Until one morning on my way home from my fathers house i had thought to stop in to my friend's home with the intention of beginning one of my few days of rest, out with this friend.

Only to find my girlfriend under his sheets, sitting upright by her elbow staring daringly into my eyes as if to spell out the inappropriate deed i had committed by walking into the house unannounced.

Two days later i had met a stranger in the street in attempt to salvage my newly found personal strength. leading me to a small friendly gathering, a gathering of which was attended by my original break up accomplice looking ever so happy hand in hand with her new found lover.

..Aint ..Love ..Grand

Shayla

October 12, 2015 @ (Fredericksburg Va)

Tags: \"Let\'s be friends\"break up

I really thought that he was the one. After 2 failed attempts at marriage and a failed long term relationship of 5yrs and countless miserable dates... He walked into my life and was what I thought I needed. The lies came slowly despite my inner thoughts of knowing the truth that he was indeed married. He assured me he wasn't and we continued what seemed to be a solid connection. We laughed, we shared jokes, we made love.... The quickies and the long passionate kind. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he had 4 kids and was unhappily married. He allowed me to make the decision to keep seeing him telling me that he was soon to get a divorce and said he had been looking at places to live and gave me a date of when he had planned to move out. A plan that seemed like it had been thought of for sometime. I believed him and continued to see him against my beliefs. We continued to get to know each other on a personal level. He acted like he didn't care about anything in his world except me (and his kids of course). I just knew he was going to divorce his wife. Not for me but for the simple fact that he too wanted to be happy and just wasn't in his marriage which happened to be dead before I came along. He traveled often taking me with him but definitely calling me religiously on the trips where he couldn't. Then one day it all changed. The day I said the "L" word. We had only been dating for 8m and I only knew for 2 that he was married. The L word scared him... It scared me but it was how I felt, so enamoured by him I couldn't help it. After that moment the phone calls became lesser and lesser. The good morning and good night text messages slowed down. After weeks of frustration I confronted him. It was then that he told me that he didn't feel the same way as I had felt and that he didn't know if he ever would or could. It stabbed me in the heart b/c I sacrificed so much of me, my morals, my beliefs to be with him. I stopped dating other people and was exclusive only to him. I was happy living in the moment but often times thought about a future with him. He decided that maybe we should cool off and it would be best to stop it now before I got hurt anymore than I already had been. He said he liked me a lot like a lot (his words) and wanted to still be friends. In that moment of anger I wanted it all and if I couldn't with him or have him love me after 8m of daring and sacrificing then we should stop talking all together. I reached out to him a week later. We cleared the air and realized some things were said out of anger,fear and a lot of alcohol but the truth is they were still said. We still talk some but just as "friends" conversation initiated by me mostly because although i know I need to let him go it's too hard to.

D

August 24, 2015 @ (India)

Tags: So sorry!

We were close friends... but eventually friendship turned to love..he loved me soo much..so did I ..after school we got together.. we met once every month, spoke every day...he sent me his pics.. everything was perfect...until now..just a few weeks back in july 2015... i sent him a collage with our pics and a message..after that i was having my important university examination ( Medicine) so i could not call or text him much..but still i felt that he was avoiding me.. in the midst i tried texting and calling him a zillion times... he never answered my calls..neither did he respond to my text messages... but i was not ready to believe that he would cheat on me... i contacted our school friends..i mean we all were pretty close.. i told them that he was doing this..they told me that they have also stopped getting information from him.. i was alarmed.. they said don't worry and don't spoil your exams..thankfully in the midst of so much anxiety i was able to do my most important exams in life..... and he had told one of my friends who called him upon hearing my complains..the truth behind his avoidance.. but she refused to tell me.. because she was scared of me spoiling my exams..i understood that something was terribly wrong..i waited..yesterday at last my exams got over... she called me at 11:00pm... it was a conference call..three friends... she began.. i listened... his parents saw the collage... his mom cried...and stopped talking to him for two days..his dad still doesn't speak to him... he was beaten... they feel that this is not a serious relationship..and that their son is giving me false hopes..iam a doctor..he is studying for Bcom... his mom said all these.. her parents will never agree..you are playing with her feelings..you will never get settled before her..allow her to live... :'( and made him promise upon Holy Quran .. that he won't speak to me or see me again.. he has decided to lead a bachelor life... :( i cried bitterly... i was helpless..so was he... if he had cheated on me..i could at least hate him.. but we still love each other soo much and yet....i spent sleepless nights..i can't cope....we could not hear each others voices for one last time.. :( ... I don't wanna be any one else's but his... and yes,,, i will wait... i will wait for him... i won't let him go... let me ask my parents when it's time.... the rest I leave to God..... My God had never disappointed me... and I believe in him.. he won't disappoint me any further... Cuz it's our first love.. and I want it to be our first and only love..... <3

K

August 23, 2015 @ (first state)

Tags: evil, wrong, cheating

Okay, so this is extreme. When I mean extreme, I mean this is some messed up Jerry Springer sh*t.
I dated this guy H for about 6 months. Oddly enough I really thought he was a good guy (big mistake). So one day I got a phone call from a friend.
She told me "k, you gotta sit down."
I sat and she says "H had sex with :blank:, right after you had sex with him. I mean literally, when you left, they did it. She listened in before and she's telling everyone they planned it out."
I threw up... a lot. Not because he cheated on me, because :blank: was 13 and H was 18 and she was listening in on me, us and they planned it. WHO DOES THAT????
The police were told and since :blank: kept telling the police different stories [she did stick with it was consensual] about how/when/where it happened, they didn't press charges.
A few months later I saw her (before the police dropped the case) and the first thing out of her mouth was "So, H will be out of jail when I'm 18." with a huge grin. I really thought I was on the twilight zone.
The whole thing has stuck with me for years. I feel so sick and angry when I'm reminded of it. Since we all live in a small state, I see them sometimes and I just want to puke. They date and worse of all, they act like what they did was ok.

Scott

August 19, 2015 @ (London, UK)

Tags: Bad break up

I was dating a girl I met at university for 6 months. We got on really well and our relationship was highly sexual. Then, end of term happened and we both went to our homes. That night I text her and asked how she was. Her reply was this: "the sex is fantastic, Scott, but I think we should see other people now." I didn't know if she was being serious or not, so I asked her and she told me not to "bother her" any more. And that was that. Still had to spend another year in the same classes as her. We haven't spoken.

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up

Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.