Searching for "anger"

48 Results For 'anger'

Bobby

November 01, 2015 @ (Toronto)

So I can't believe I'm doing this. Maybe some therapy so that I don't lose my head.

When I was about 12 or 13 I woke up from a horrible nightmare that wasn't easy to understand or describe. I was in a sweat and could hardly breath. The only way I could put into words to my parents was that it felt like I had a 10 million dollar ticket and watched the wind blow it from my hand and was gone forever. I feel now that this was a premonition for things to come. Almost like an intense ripple felt through time.

Flash forward 13 years, I'm 25 and I see the most beautiful girl sitting in the lunch room at work. Keep in mind that I'm a very shy type and for just once in my life I through caution to the wind. I had to talk with this girl she was a dream. I think from that point we talked on the phone every night, we had incredible adventures through conversation I felt like I had met my soulmate. Also we had an incredible physical chemistry. Late nights in my parents basement by the fire and nothing else mattered...the body heat and passion was intense, 2 souls coming together and best of all talking about life into the early morning hours. I was a struggling artist you see, working evenings at the shop and trying to make my dreams come true during the days. She didn't seem to care, we were lost in our own little world.

1 year turned into 2, and 2 into 3...and I never lost the passion, every day seeing her was like Christmas eve. Around that time she was finishing school and I was away in Europe doing fashion modelling. God she hated me doing that, being around other women but she had nothing to fear. She was my everything, my whole world and I was just trying to find a way to make life work with the struggles of being an artist.

Years passed and the modelling did not yield the money I had hoped. The girl I loved was growing up, she graduated school and was just offered her first grown up job. At the time I was starting my software company, god damn I wish some days that I could just put on a suit and tie. She was doing great and I can say that I just was not at my best...that's when I'm sure thoughts of children and a white picket fence crossed her mind. From every day after that she grew more distant. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness. Like sand sifting through your fingers.

It's been about 3 years (I think) since we broke up. She has since moved on and met someone else. I was really angry when I first found out, but I'm just not convinced that she would have the life she wants if we were still together. I'm married to my work and she deserves better.

The saddest part of the story? I'm sitting here telling it to you over the internet. I've dated other women, but I just can't stop being in love with another. These relationships fail because I have to end them, it's just not fair for the other individual. Never in my life have I been wounded like this, and the years haven't healed a thing.

It's unbearable dealing with all the pain and anger, but deep down knowing that the woman I love more than anything else in the world would be better off without me....

William

October 29, 2015 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad Breakup, Funny Breakup

After recovering from a rough two years of isolating heart ache, I finally felt happy within myself. I reunited with my old high school crush, who's company needless to say was pure enlightenment and began to build a strong, trusting relationship. we spent weeks at a time going back and forth between each others homes until my father had become ill and required my share of over night care and regular visits. so my girlfriend would make use of the spare time by going out with her friends reviving her old night life. i was endorsing her late night adventures and encouraged her to have fun while i was away; as i had complete trust in her loyalty.

As it was necessary for me to be away for some odd days of the week, it was common for my friend to regularly turn up unannounced at my home, this time to her welcoming hospitality. This i thought was positive company as he had previously supported me through my years of isolation which ended some few months before.

I became excited to have my relationship compatible with my friendship as i hadn't as much spare time for my friend as i had done during my great depression. though it dawned on me that my girlfriend had developed a noticeable distance that had become to evolve either from the nights out with the girls or to the least of my suspicion my closest childhood friend.

Until one morning on my way home from my fathers house i had thought to stop in to my friend's home with the intention of beginning one of my few days of rest, out with this friend.

Only to find my girlfriend under his sheets, sitting upright by her elbow staring daringly into my eyes as if to spell out the inappropriate deed i had committed by walking into the house unannounced.

Two days later i had met a stranger in the street in attempt to salvage my newly found personal strength. leading me to a small friendly gathering, a gathering of which was attended by my original break up accomplice looking ever so happy hand in hand with her new found lover.

..Aint ..Love ..Grand

Shayla

October 12, 2015 @ (Fredericksburg Va)

Tags: \"Let\'s be friends\"break up

I really thought that he was the one. After 2 failed attempts at marriage and a failed long term relationship of 5yrs and countless miserable dates... He walked into my life and was what I thought I needed. The lies came slowly despite my inner thoughts of knowing the truth that he was indeed married. He assured me he wasn't and we continued what seemed to be a solid connection. We laughed, we shared jokes, we made love.... The quickies and the long passionate kind. Then he dropped the bomb on me that he had 4 kids and was unhappily married. He allowed me to make the decision to keep seeing him telling me that he was soon to get a divorce and said he had been looking at places to live and gave me a date of when he had planned to move out. A plan that seemed like it had been thought of for sometime. I believed him and continued to see him against my beliefs. We continued to get to know each other on a personal level. He acted like he didn't care about anything in his world except me (and his kids of course). I just knew he was going to divorce his wife. Not for me but for the simple fact that he too wanted to be happy and just wasn't in his marriage which happened to be dead before I came along. He traveled often taking me with him but definitely calling me religiously on the trips where he couldn't. Then one day it all changed. The day I said the "L" word. We had only been dating for 8m and I only knew for 2 that he was married. The L word scared him... It scared me but it was how I felt, so enamoured by him I couldn't help it. After that moment the phone calls became lesser and lesser. The good morning and good night text messages slowed down. After weeks of frustration I confronted him. It was then that he told me that he didn't feel the same way as I had felt and that he didn't know if he ever would or could. It stabbed me in the heart b/c I sacrificed so much of me, my morals, my beliefs to be with him. I stopped dating other people and was exclusive only to him. I was happy living in the moment but often times thought about a future with him. He decided that maybe we should cool off and it would be best to stop it now before I got hurt anymore than I already had been. He said he liked me a lot like a lot (his words) and wanted to still be friends. In that moment of anger I wanted it all and if I couldn't with him or have him love me after 8m of daring and sacrificing then we should stop talking all together. I reached out to him a week later. We cleared the air and realized some things were said out of anger,fear and a lot of alcohol but the truth is they were still said. We still talk some but just as "friends" conversation initiated by me mostly because although i know I need to let him go it's too hard to.

Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Unbelievable

January 10, 2015 @ (toronto, ontario)

Tags: bad breakup, hurt, unbelievable, played, sad

I have loved him for more than 5 years. We've had a thing for almost a year but that never blossomed into a real relationship until a year and a half ago. During that year of us having a 'thing', I couldn't stop thinking about him- he was my first thought every morning and every night. Everything about him I loved, his flaws, his personality. He was someone who inspired me to become a better person, someone who made me become a better person ever since we met. I was stupid to wait around. That year of our 'thing', he ended up telling me that his feelings for me weren't as strong anymore and that I should go off and 'explore a bit' with other guys. Out of anger, out of hurt, I did. My friend chased me. And I decided to give him a chance.

It wasn't long before he came back. Grovelling, crying, begging. He tore me away from my relationship with my friend. And I was stupid enough to have believed he wanted me for real this time. He was romantic and even wanted to be my 'official' boyfriend this time- and he is not the type of person to ever label things without thinking things through. So broke my friend's heart, and ran off with this guy. Everything was great.. until it wasn't. He rarely texts, rarely makes time to see me. He would be so involved with his work, and his gym life. He would spend his actual birthday with his guy friends instead of me. He doesn't feel the want to see me. He got me way too easily. He was so sweet in the beginning I couldn't believe it. I knew it was too good to be true.

On december 27, 2014, he told me he was going to make a big move in his career. When I told him about my point of view, how I was willing to support him and follow him, he told me to really think about it. He didn't want me to go.

5 days later, on new year's day, he broke up with me, saying after the past 3 days of thinking he decided it was best for us to break up. After investing so much in this he decided, after 3 days, to break up. He crushed me. For the second time in my life, by the same person and for the same reasons. He couldn't feel anything with me anymore. He just fell out of love. And after a year and a half, told me his family and my family would never work out together.

I am beyond sad. My heart feels like there's a gigantic canyon on it, in it. Depression is real. This is real.

Enamiran

September 05, 2014 @ (algeria)

Tags: sad

i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)

Carmen

May 29, 2014 @ (United States)

Tags: break-up, annoying, bad person

We were juniors in college when we finally started dating. We'd been friends for a few months and had attended some social functions on campus together. Unfortunately for him, Tom had a terrible reputation on campus, not for being a player or anything, but for being a terrible person in general. My friends constantly reinforced this information before I agreed to date him exclusively. I questioned him about the various rumors regarding him and his only answers involved: "I don't remember," or "That's all in the past." I was extremely skeptical that anyone could change that fast (we'd only been in school for a couple of years!) but I wanted to see who he was for myself so I agreed to go out with him. The next six months were filled with depression and anger for me for a lot for a lot of reasons. For one thing, he would talk about problems we were having with a mutual female friend rather than talking to me about them. I didn't know I was in a threesome! He was a terrible communicator in general. When talking to his friends or an audience, he would be charming, but when talking to my friends or meeting my family, he was incredibly awkward. It wouldn't have bothered me as much if he were shy, but he was able to hold perfect conversations with complete strangers. On top of all this, I witnessed him lying to other people's faces, including his friends and family. Because of this, I knew for sure that he could not be trusted. Around the three-month mark, we exchanged "I love you's" and around that time, the little affection he was showing me was slowly wearing down. He never complimented me much anyway (except when we were making out), but those just stopped. Our time together was mainly spent making out once a week in his dorm even though I insisted that we should spend time talking and bonding in other ways. I guess he thought that because I was in love with him I was going to tolerate that. And I did for another two months before telling him that I'd been feeling neglected and that he wasn't keeping up his end of the compromise (He told me he'd be more open emotionally if I agreed to make out with him more). He told me it was hard and that that was the way he'd always been. No effort. No anything. He was the first person I'd done ANYTHING physical with and that was hard for me, but I was willing to try and compromise. He didn't try at all. During month six, I dumped him while we were on a walk. He was shocked. I did cry the weekend afterward, but I quickly realized how much happier I was without him in my life. I couldn't believe how being involved with him could make me feel so lonely and depressed. I've been single for a month now and while it sucks sometimes, I know I'm mentally in a better place now. I learned that it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Leesea W.

March 24, 2014 @ (Greensboro)

Tags: Tags: Sad break up, Miss him, Comment

I was with the guy of my dreams... So I thought. He was perfect in every way. Took me out on the best dates, and treated me well. I was planning to save myself, but I ended up giving everything up, gave the little innocence I had left to him. I thought since we connected right away that I would end up with him. I met him through the internet. The same day that we met online we met in person, I instantly felt a strong connection with him, he was charming had great eyes, smile, and laugh. He opened doors, just the perfect gentlemen. A week later, he then told me that he could not be with me, giving me a list of why not. I hated hearing it, he then dropped me off at home, when he dropped me off at home, all I could do was cry. Curious as to what had gone wrong. We ended up texting after he dropped me off, then ended up on a long phone call. The next day we hadn't texted all day. I then sent a message, opps wrong person, but it was to him, and I was meaning to send it to another person. We then ended up talking again, yes I was happy but again I felt so much anger towards him. I loved him, I fell in love with him. He had become my everything, and to this day still is. Anyways, we got back together, we talked it out, figured everything out, and I gave it to him. He almost even said that he loved me, while we were cuddled up, but he just stopped himself because he said if he said that I would hurt him, but why? I do not know. We were great, then classes started back up, and everything changed, we stopped seeing each other everyday, and the good turned into the bad again. I missed him, I wanted to see him after my late classes, but he had other plans, and wanted to do other things. I guess, he wanted his single life back, and the more he tried to cling on to what we had the further he was pushed off. I miss him, and I wish I could just get over him, and move on with my life.

Ari

March 11, 2014 @ (Miami, FL)

Tags: She cheated, bad breakup, bitch

During my freshman year of highschool, I was worried about making friends, but I did surprisingly well in a social aspect. On the 3rd week of school, a girl sat right in front of me during our physical education class. This girl just moved in to my town in August and supposedly the reason why she moved is because her single father sent her here because his wife divorced him. But something strange I noticed is that her older sister and younger brother stayed with her father in New Jersey (this all took place in Miami, FL). I didnâ€™t mind though. Anyhow, I met her in that class and after about 2 days of being just friends, we started dating. It turns out she actually had a crush on me and thatâ€™s why she sat in front of me on that day. I was, from what she said, her "first kiss" and also her "first boyfriend" and I didn't doubt it at all; in fact, I was honored because of it. Nothing could take that title away from me. For the first month, everything was fantastic. No arguments. No stress. It was all make out sessions, guitar songs on the beach, and basically, just pure relationship shit. I wasn't in love with her though, but I still cared very much for her. I put her in front of my family and friends, always got her gifts, always made her happy whenever she was down, helped her with schoolwork, family issues, depression, friends; I put everything I had into this. After the first month, she gave me a letter that said that after highschool we should move in together and get married someday, which did seem rather clingy, but I said yes because at that moment, I fell in love. She gave me a blowjob that day too which seems weird considering she had no experience before me (remember I was her first kiss and her first boyfriend). Around that time, they switched around my classes and they switched me out of the one class I had with her. The day after that, she starts talking about another guy. I didn't mind though because she had many other guy friends she would talk about occasionally (I did get a bit jealous, but it never got the better of me). Over the next two weeks or so, she started talking more about him, and eventually started texting him and hanging out with this other guy more than me. That Friday I went over her house, re-ignited the spark, and even got head. Everything was fantastic for the both of us. We were so happy; until Monday, of course. She was pissed at me for an unknown reason on Monday, so I resolve it that Tuesday by surprising her in the morning with flowers, using the cologne she likes, using the clothing she loves I wear; the small things she always mentioned. That didn't work. But on the bus later that day, I won her back. She said she was mad because I was too clingy. Ok, fair game. So I stopped being clingy. However, after two days she's pissed at me again because I was being too friendly (the opposite of clingy) and she ditched me that day. I immediately took the bus (which I almost got kicked off of), went home, wrote a letter for her, dressed really nicely, and ran 3 miles to her house to surprise her. I then fix everything AGAIN with her and we plan to meet up on Sunday (our 2 month anniversary). We decide to meet up at the mall at 7:00, go to my empty place until 11:00, and return. She ends up showing two hours late, didn't kiss or hug me or anything when I greeted her, canceled our plans, texted the guy she was obsessed about (and freaked out about the fact he got a haircut), left me with a huge bill for the food, and didn't even kiss me that night. After she left, she texted me saying that I only wanted her for sex (not true) and I go off explaining that I love her for the love she gives me not her body and etc. She then says that she loves me and is never going to leave me and we go on for a while exchanging about how much we loved each other. I was relieved. However, not even 24 hours later, she texts me saying that we should be friends for a couple weeks and then get back together. Things took a turn for the worst when that Thursday she leaves me (through a rumor nonetheless) and on that same day, about an hour after I heard we broke up, makes out with that guy she was obsessed about and texted all the time and freaked over his hair. Even though I tried to get her back with letters and chocolates and flowers and words from the heart and whatnot, it failed, and I was miserable. She said she wanted to be friends but then rumors spread that made me look bad and made her hate me. I fell into a deep depression. After we've been apart for a month, one of my best friends that Iâ€™ve known for 3 years now mentioned to me that while we were dating she sent him nude pictures of herself and even let him feel her up. She cheated on me with my best friend and then left me for her best friend/obsession (seemed kind of dumb considering said person has cheated on a lot of girls and has a face full of pimples). I still loved her though. Even though she treated me like crap, always texted other guys, showed up late and cancelled our plans I didn't care; I loved her. Unconditionally.

Today weâ€™ve been broken up for a couple months. They ended up fucking but Iâ€™m pretty sure theyâ€™re both cheating on each other which seems pretty disgusting to me. I just wonder if it was really worth it when she slept with himâ€¦ I guess I just need to learn the simple rule of â€œDonâ€™t talk to strangersâ€. Good thing Iâ€™m over her.

Brandon

February 10, 2014 @ (Portland, OR)

Tags: worst breakup, jerk, idiot, heart breaker, regretful

So, I had been dating this girl for about six months with a two month break in between, let's call her "Jackie". It was when we got back together I realized that things weren't going to work. She said that we just need to communicate more, but it never happened, we always just sat in awkward silence until one of us had to leave.
Before we get to the actual break-up, I want to do a little back-story. So a few years back my friends introduced me to this girl, not the one I broke up with, let's call her "Amanda." Amanda was a nice girl from the very start, She invited me to all her parties, and helped me out with my homework and essays. She was funny, she would often make fun of my now best friend, "Franklin," which I found hilarious. She was also super smart, she had one of the highest GPAs in the school, and passed even the most advanced classes. And I swear she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and to this day I am deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, when I told her about my feelings, she dropped the F-Bomb on me. Yep, that was my first ever "friend-zone." I was crushed, I never felt so terrible in my life. But I stayed adamant, and year after year I would ask her, and year after year she denied me. I realize that she can make whatever choice she wants, but I couldn't help but to want to be with her. I guess she must have gotten tired of me asking, because after the fourth confession, she suggested I go out with Jackie, whom I had met a month earlier. I knew she had a thing for me, and Amanda said we would be cute together. I don't know why, but the words "cute together" hit me really hard. Just the thought of being with someone other than her felt wrong. Things did go wrong eventually, I guess that's what happens when you go out with someone because the love of your life asks you to. I probably should have seen that coming. After dancing with Jackie at one of the parties, I became infatuated with her. I asked her out on a date, and she of course said yes. Now I had never gone out on a date before so I didn't know exactly what to do. And no one told me that movie dates are the worst first date you could go on. We sat in the theater eating our popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, not even looking at each other; the first of many awkward experiences. The worst part was that Amanda offered to drive us around since neither I or Jackie bothered to learn how to. Amanda couldn't have been more happy to see me going out with another girl, which I understand is something friends do, but when that friend has recently broken your heart, it kinda stings a little.
Fast forward four months. Now at this point we've decided to break things off for a while. Jackie has started dating this guy, let's call him "Matt." I had no problem with Jackie dating Matt, in fact I was happy that she found someone she could actually talk to. Matt and I are also good friends so, I was happy for both of them. Now with no one to distract my feelings, I began to feel old emotions rising again, I would often hang out with Amanda like we used to, but not in a way that would give any hints, just talking, and study sessions. I should have realized then that this was what it was meant to be like. Being single wasn't a bad thing, in fact I love being single. It makes you appreciate all the free time you once had to hang out with friends and get work done. This didn't last very long, because Jackie and Matt eventually broke up. I never got the exact details of why or how, but I do know that Jackie broke up with Matt, because she realized that she still loved me even though she was the one who broke up with me for Matt in the first place. Matt explained to me that he cared for her, and he wanted to see her happy, and that I should take her back. And I, being the stupid confused kid at the time, said "of course." And so, we began dating each other once more. The rekindled infatuation didn't last long, and I realized about a month in that things weren't going to work. Now came the biggest problem, how to break it to her. Now, just because I wasn't in love with Jackie doesn't mean I didn't care about her. She was genuinely sweet and innocent, and I couldn't bare to see her sad or upset.
It was only a few weeks later that I built up the courage to tell her, mind you I gave no clue as to how I really felt, in fact I made it seem like everything was just dandy, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea. Of course, when I told her she was really confused. She asked me "Why? Why?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just don't think you're the one for me." At this point her sadness began to turn to anger. Something I had never seen in her before suddenly began to show. She said, "how dare you have the audacity to lead me on for so long. You know what? Fuck you." The words "fuck you" would have hurt less if she hadn't smiled and started walking away. But as I sat there, ashamed of what I had done, she did the worst thing she could have done to me. She turned back with tears running down her face and said, "I really did love you." And continued walking away. That must have been one of the worst days of my life. Eventually the sadness subsided, and she forgot all about me, which was probably for the best. Not once in our whole relationship did we ever say "I love you" to one another. But if I could go back and change what I did, I would have never gone out with her. I would have never gotten back together with her. I would have never led her on to believe that I loved her. And I would have never broken her heart.