May 02, 2024 @ (United States)

Tags: B

27M have been in a relationship with 27F for a year and half now. Earlier this year I was going through a rough time, had to put my cat down and was also needing to find a job and was really struggling with my mental health. I feel as if I put too much pressure on my girlfriend to be overly supportive but at the same time I never really communicated what I needed from her. While I wish that I told her that I needed space to figure these things out, I instead told her I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore.

With our lack of communication in the relationship, we never really ended the relationship and instead went a month and a half with just texting each other and met up once or twice. I did eventually find a job, and decided to work on myself a bit more. Part of this was meeting up with my girlfriend and spilling my feelings about how i'd like to continue to work on this relationship. We agreed to continue dating, but after just one time hanging out (1 week) she told me that she wanted a break with no contact.

I respected that and we went on a break for about a 3 weeks before I eventually reached out asking where she was at with it all. She called me up, and I explained to her how I've been working on myself through therapy and hobbies, but am still wanting to work on the relationship because I knew I could be a better partner. She told me that when we hung out last she couldn't get the thought that I didn't care about her out of her head. She said that she was happy to see my working on myself but it seemed like a punch in the face that I was doing it now, and if we were to stay and work on things then these thoughts of the past me would still bother her.

I kind of assumed this was going to be where her head was at, but she mentioned that she could feel differently about it all in a couple weeks or a month. She just didn't want to drag me along, which is hard because i'm optimistic things could work. We ended the call, but never really came to a conclusion as to what we were doing. So I called her back and asked, what are we right now. Is this still a break or are we broken up? She responded with broken up. This confuses me because I asked her earlier why she hadn't broken up with me yet, and her response was that she loved me and cared for me.

Why is it that I had to almost force her to give me an answer on this? I'm not sure if I should be waiting for her to change her mind or if I should use this phone call as closure to the end of the relationship.



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