BlahBeeBlah

April 27, 2021 @ (Midwest)

Tags: Bad Breakup


So I entered my first relationship for the first time in 2019 and everything was slowly turning amazing. I had begun opening up to him, something that he requested of me, and just being more happy in general. Sad to say I was a depressed little thing who was also agrophobic. Once we got closer to our one year anniversary we started discussing moving in together and even potentially having a family. My first red flag should have came from this as he often flip flopped on what it is he wanted and agreed to. So we move in together and about two months in I started developing BV and I would take medicine for it and get a yeast infection. I know now that not even a week after I first develop BV which I was told is common, he had began cheating on me with multiple women. This had been going on for months before I found out and it did it without any hesitation once so ever. I felt so betrayed as this was the man I thought had loved and respected me and would tell me magnificent things like he wished he had met me sooner in life. I tried to work things out with him but he said that the relationship was blah and that it had ran its course. I asked him what did they have that I didn't, besides the whole BV issue, and he just replied something different. This happened months ago and it still hurts like it happened yesterday because for some stupid reason I still love him. I do not understand what is wrong with me and my heart, but I wish so desperately that I didn't meet him. We still interact with each other and I know he still messes with some of the women that he cheated on me with, but he's just toying with them too telling them sweet nothings like he did me and fucking everything that moves. I am so desperate that I engage with sex with him and I know its stupid as fuck of me but I can't help it. I really don't want to feel what I feel anymore, but I can't cut off my feelings and if I leave I'll be homeless


       


 

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