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Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go


I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...


       

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople


I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didn’t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend would’ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriend’s mood swings. My ex-girlfriend’s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasn’t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasn’t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentine’s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriend’s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasn’t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didn’t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriend’s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldn’t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriend’s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasn’t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldn’t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. It’s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.


       

Denise

July 03, 2014 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: #bad breakup #jerk #heartbreaker #immature #coward


Basically, I was dating this guy for a year. We gave our virginity to each other. We said "I love you". (We were in college btw...I'm 23) We met each other's family. We were both each other's most serious relationship. He acted like he was head over heels in love with me....he would say it and show it. Anyway, we were serious......then he breaks up with me.....doesn't really give me a reason.....Oh! and he does it while we are at my parents' house during Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays....I had to drive him back to the apartment to get his things. He leaves. I never heard from him again. My friends (who were his friends too......oh he basically broke up with them as well) tried to ask him to give me more explanation or something because I wasn't handling it well.....and he said, "She can mess up her life is she wants. It's not my problem". He's now in a relationship with a new girl. And you may ask, is this a habit of his? Well, he has had a decent number of girlfriends before. I'm the only one he has done this to. There are sooooo many more details involved in this story, but I'm sparing y'all from them. So yeah.....that happened to me.


       

Abby

May 25, 2014 @ (New York)

Tags: Bad breakup, cheating, jerk, karma, heartbreaker


I met a friend of a friend, let's call him Tom, at a music festival. We hit it off straightaway, had a lot in common, and things were going really well. After three months he was talking about us moving in together and getting married!

So we had been together for five months, and everything was going great- we hardly ever argued, hung out all the time and we thought we had found The One. Then I found out I was pregnant. It was a HUGE surprise (we had been very careful!) but we wanted to spend our lives together anyway so we were happy. Sadly, on Christmas Eve when I was 8 weeks pregnant I suffered a miscarriage. This is when he turned into a total d**k.

At the hospital he was totally ignoring me while I was waiting to get checked over. When I got called to be seen by the doctor, he said he needed the toilet and stayed outside smoking until I was done and came looking for him. For the next week, he was avoiding me- wouldn't answer my calls, would only reply to texts to tell me he was too busy to see me. On New Years Eve, I went over to his house where he told me he just wanted to stay home and play his xbox. I told him that was OK, but could we go to his room so I could lay down (I was still suffering symptoms from the miscarriage). Then he told me if I was just going to be miserable and lay there I should just go home (wow!). I went home and for another week he ignored me and avoided me til finally he said we could meet up to 'talk' and I knew he wanted to end it. On the day, I was waiting at a bar for him and after an hour he still hadn't shown up. He text me saying this was because he was waiting for an emergency plumber. Then my brother called, and told me he was out at a nightclub and Tom was there drinking and partying with some girls. I was heartbroken, and simply left Tom a voicemail saying we were over. At 3am, Tom called me and started shouting and swearing at me down the phone for being a bitch and telling my brother 'all of our business'. Apparently my brother had politely told the girls Tom was partying with all about me, and how Tom had stood up his girlfriend during a miscarriage, and of course the girls were not impressed! Tom called me again the next day AND the day after that, because he wanted to make sure that I knew we were over. Thanks a bunch!

It's been over a year since that break up and I'm still not ready to date again. Although I found out that a month after we broke up, Tom crashed his car when he was drinking and driving- no one was hurt, but he lost his license and his job. Karma's a bitch!


       

Scuba

April 10, 2014 @ (USA)

Tags: Break up, devastating


Best Break Up Story Ever
So there I was having dinner with my several of my friends. Two of the guys in very happy loving relationships, when my friend says to me, "that is the greatest break up story of all time." Although I felt smile crept through, inside my heart just froze.

On a chilly November night in Leipzig Germany, my co-worker and myself went out for dinner after 2 weeks of business behind us. Now we were on our own time. A little exploring and big dinner were on tap. My coworker was decent company, not a bad guy, loved European women, married, didn't mind having some fun.

After dinner we wandered around having some drinks at various places where we ended up a jazz club, 60's style, with a Beatles cover band playing in the corner. The place was fun and the people very friendly. All the people wanted to talk to us Americans. As the night progressed something terrible happened.

Let me rewind about a month now. What started out some minor gastric distress once, slowly progressed to be having severe stomach eruptions, completely unexpected. A week would go by and nothing, and than all of a sudden I could be walking into a work meeting and feel something just slide right out of me. Horrifically embarrassing.

Back to Germany. I was standing talking to a factory worker over a half liter of Leipzigs best, when all of a sudden it started happening again. An explosion already started to poke on out and there was no stopping it. I ran downstairs to the bathroom and locked myself in the toilet stall. To my dismay it was too late. The Hershey Highway was everywhere, even running into my brand new black dress shoes. I quickly looked for toilet paper.... Nothing.... My tie was the only source of anything worth cleaning myself up.

I tried to get myself into some type of working order and planned my exit. A side door out of the basement, I quickly exited leaving my co-worker behind. With a dead cell phone I wandered the streets for a bit to find my hotel. Without google maps Leipzig is a confusing city to navigate by foot. I found my hotel and quickly locked myself away to clean up. What a mess.

The next day my dear girlfriend at the time asked what happened to me last night where I responded nothing good. I told her about my issue and that I was driving up to Berlin. I was nervous because I didn't have my passport on me and couldn't remember where I packed it. Turns out it was still in my soiled pants double bagged in plastic. The relief of finding that passport once I arrived in Berlin was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

That night in the Berlin hotel, my coworker texted me to insure I was ok and what happened to me. I responded that everything was good and I met some girls and left with them and headed back to the hotel. I didn't want him to know of what happened to me.

Once I arrived home my girlfriend picked me up at the airport and we had a wonderful day. Filled with love making, shopping and cooking ourselves a wonderful meal. Jet lagged I fell asleep with a soft smile on my face, happy to home and loved. Than I woke to slamming door and my love gone. I thought I was dreaming and drifted off to sleep, where again I awoke to her coming and going once more and speeding away in her car.

I called her and asked her what was going on, and she responds you F'd a girl in Germany.... I saw your text message....

Turns out she snooped through my phone. For what reason I do not know, but saw my text to my coworker and assumed I cheated. I have never ever cheated in my life. And I would never....

Long story short, we sort of reconciled and started to move the relationship forward where 3 months later the relationship just fell right apart. Our trust was never repaired and the relationship just fell apart on Valentines day with a text from her saying she is done because she didn't believe I was out with my boss and his wife.

The best and worst heartbreaking break up story ever. I thought she was the girl I was going to marry.....


       

Dandan

March 26, 2014 @ (new jersey)

Tags: bad break ups


Wow where to start on January 1st I was asked out by this boy.... he is in my school well I am a sophomore and him a senior.... every girls dream in high school.... well anyway he asked me out and it was so cute cuz he was like I like you and when I said I like him too he was like really. ... I tend to over think things and It was all thru Facebook.... so eventually during our 2hr long discussion at 2 in the morning he asked me to be his girlfriend I was ecstatic... I mean cmon a senior was asking ME out... well he came over that saturday he met my mom and my brother and my little cousin he was so sweet he played with them and him and I watched tv all day.... and then on the monday after that saturday he told me he loved me and he was falling in love... and I have to admit there was something about him that made me start to fall... well a week and a half later he broke up with me the reason was that he had a lot going on and he didnt want to loose me and that as soon as things were better for him we would get back together... being naive I believed him... well 4days or so later he got with a different girl which broke my heart but I was ok.... on February 19 he came to me upset and said that she cheated so he broke up with her and he wanted me back so I hugged him and he hugged me back and so I really wanted to be with him we got back together we were great for 2 weeks... again... then he turned around and broke up with me but this time there wasnt a reason so I was heart broken yet again but then I was bound and determined to find out why.... well I started paying closer attention to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE when one day I seen this girl walking with his sweatshirt on 3 DAYS LATER.... I went up to him that day since we had the same last period class together I was furious he was supposed to be only friends with this girl.... so he told me he didnt want to talk to me which hurt me worse I cried right there in front of him.... he wont look at me unless he thinks im not paying attention.... his smile makes my heart skip a beat..... and I am still in love but I dont know if he still loves me anymore....


       

A H

March 24, 2014 @ (Karachi, Pakistan)

Tags: Bad and unfortunate breakup


My girlfriend and I started going out three years ago and fell hard for each other. Even head over heels sound like an understatement. I am a 29 year old guy and I have always been a closed off person but when she and I started going out, she brought out the best in me. She made me feel like the king of the world and that I could achieve anything in this entire universe. Right around the time we started going out my father was diagnosed with throat cancer. It shook my entire existence. To find the guy you always looked up to and the authority figure in your life to be so timid and helpless. I was shaken up, then I lost my job, by profession I am a graphics designer and illustrator. We were extremely frustrated. And we decided to talk to our parents about us because we wanted to get married. A note here that she's from a well-to-do family and I am from a middle class family so the social status and lack of financial backing played a very important role when we tried talking to her parents. You need to understand another thing that in our culture we respect and listen to our parents' wishes because of how much they've done for us. and after talking to them they got furious. They took her cellphone, grounded her and we didn't talk for over a month. I know it sounds childish, but this is how our culture works. But she was resilient woman and she stood by me through all this and so did I. We spent two more years after that. My father passed away last May. And my financial situation kept getting worse and worse. Now I am at a stage where I am literally left with nothing in my account. Don't get me wrong she didn't drain me. But I was so distracted by my father's death and the trouble at her end that I couldn't pick myself up. So, a few months back she got a proposal and her father agreed to it and we discussed that since things are going in a certain way and we can't afford to hurt her parents, so we decided to break it off. I know that she loves me and she knows that I love her. I mean I have faced such problems in my life that it's beyond imagination. But this is worst feeling of all. Because I have never loved anyone or anything this much. But she's now talking to this guy her parents introduced to her and I know it's killing her but she's doing it. I want to salute this woman here and want to tell her that I love you and I will always love you. You were the best thing in my life. But I have these memories that I will take with them where ever I go.
It's funny that two people, who love each other dearly and wholly are pulled apart.


       

BigE

January 27, 2014 @ (Washington DC)

Tags: So Bad it's funny


My girlfriend and I were dating for a few months, and things were going really great until I felt pressured to tell her I loved her. I didn't want to be the one to cut things off because she told me about her post breakup anorexia, so I waited, getting more miserable because she never listened to my feelings. One weekend she invited me to her house, which was an ordeal because she didn't include me with her family or friends, and I got into an argument with her. On the way back to college, she broke up with me in front of her mom and sister. I couldn't believe it. She said she thought I needed help and that she couldn't talk it out because she needed to eat lunch with her family, but she contacted my dad and friends to let them know how distraught I was before I could. Later when I asked over Facebook if she would give me a movie ticket I paid for that she was holding for me, she said that she gave it to her stepmom. I proceeded to call her a bitch. Soon after I was greeted by a message from her father saying he called the police. Nothing happened, but during the next week or two, she proceeded to blog about me numerous times after saying she didn't blame me. Once I used the private blog she recommended to me to process things, but she passed my link to all her friends and one of them compared my to the shat out remains of Hitler after reblogging what I thought was a private post. Needless to say we are not on speaking terms.


       

Beckaah

January 27, 2014 @ (NZ)

Tags: confusing breakup


I met a guy on Tinder (yeah, i know that should have been alarm bells from the start). I'd been trying not to encourage him too much as I'd had a really bad relationship in the past which had caused me to have serious trust issues. I told him I just wanted to be friends, and thinking that he would be like most tinder guys and would bugger off as soon as he heard that, I didn't think it would go anywhere. But he was so persistent, and he would message me everyday, and after a few weeks we exchanged numbers and were soon texting every day. I looked forward to those texts because he was a really sweet guy and seemed to be able to cheer me up when I was having a bad day. Finally, I agreed to meet him, and it turned out that we actually had a lot in common, and we got on really well. Then a week later he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't too sure as I didn't know a lot about him, but I knew I really liked him so I decided to go with it and see where it ended up. He went away over christmas for 3 weeks, but we still texted every day, and then he came back and was all excited to see me. And then the shit hit the fan. I thought he was acting strange, but when I confronted him about it he just said everything was fine and it was all in my head. I saw him last Friday and we had a super cute date, and he told me how special he was and how much he loved me. And then on Saturday morning I woke up to a text saying that I obviously wasn't coping with him never being able to see me, and so the relationship was over. It was the most pathetic excuse he could have used as I'd never ever suggested that in my life. I have my suspicions that he cheated on me but I'll never know for sure. He's now cut me completely out of his life( he deleted me on facebook 10 minutes after he dumped me), and I haven't had any texts from him or anything. I still have some of his stuff which I need to give back to him but he won't even see me long enough to let me do that, despite telling me by text that he does want it back. It feels weird to not have him in my life, as he's been such a big part of it for the last 3 months, but I kind of feel like it's for the best. I just miss my good morning beautiful texts that I would get every morning without fail :( I just wish I knew what I did that made this go from being such a happy relationship to such a ruined one


       

Lyn

January 23, 2014 @ (New york)

Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love


Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.

Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?

That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.

(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)

One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'

New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;

Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx

That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.

School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never