Searching for "depressed"

56 Results For 'depressed'

Natalie

November 08, 2013 @ (Seattle)

Tags: bad break up, young love, sweet, cute, douche bag, depression, anxiety, high school, sad, ugh

Oh my gosh . My ex boyfriend is a douche bag. I swear .. I was never over him.. but he caused so much pain, and I really tried to .. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER . I'VE HEARD RUMORS FROM MY FRIEND ALEX (who is also his best friend) BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. But now he's smiling at me with those beautiful teeth .. talking to me and luring me in with that voice.. the voice that's like honey and just makes me melt everytime I hear it. He changed me. I wasn't always depressed, even if my life wasn't all that great .. after my parents finalized the divorce, there wasn't much to look forward to. But he was there for me. He was always my shoulder to cry on. Ever since 7th grade . UGH, MIDDLE SCHOOL. I thought middle school was hard; but compared to high school, it was a party.. my emotions are just everywhere.. but yea, the point is, he ended up breaking me in the end. I knew it wasn't gonna last. Of COURSE I knew. But something at the back of my mind just wished it wasn't. And I guess I just couldn't accept the cruel reality that it was over. All those movie dates . All the times he'd put his arms around me.. and that smile- it was directed towards me and me only and I used to literally feel as if we were the only two people in the world. That strawberry blonde/brownish hair .. haha.. the long paragraphs he would send me in the morning about how beautiful he thought I was.. those times in third period where we laughed, he would flip his hair, start strumming that bass guitar of his while the strings teacher would yell at me about dropping my violin and then having to tune it all over again. We lived to make her annoyed omg , but I just miss it . I miss everything. I miss him. I miss not being lonely.

That time on the ferris wheel at the state fair with terry and alex? When we kissed and said 'I love you' for the 80th time?
I miss us.

The truth is, I was never over it. I miss running my fingers through his hair.

I just dont wanna be lonely.

I poured my heart out to him and he took advantage of me.

I miss that fairytale feeling.

But I guess all fairytales have to end. Just ask Troy. He had no problem ending mine.

And now he just wants to walk back into my life again? After all the pain that he's caused? Like nothing's happened? I just can't.

The thing that makes me hate myself the most? Everytime he glances at me, I still get butterflies. When I see him laugh in the hallways, my heard starts pounding inexpilcably fast. And the last and most horrifying thing? I was tempted. I was actually tempted to say yes.

Smee

November 04, 2013 @ (Paris)

Tags: Losing my mind

He put too much pressure on me and I freaked out. Too much, too soon. We have a young baby and I've been taking all the responsibility and it's exhausting me.
He bought a month long subscription to pornography and told me about two days after I really did my best to be sexy since having a baby. I feel used, very depressed and exhausted.

Bethany

March 08, 2013 @ (gloucrster )

Tags: chris, james

I'm 26 years old and I have been with my daughter's father for 3 years. We broke up 6 months ago and it has been so hard on me. We started our relationship rocky from the beginning. Once we found out I was pregnant he started to care more for me but he started to go out every weekend saying he needed to get it out of his system. At that time he lived at his parents n I lived with mine. One day he wanted to talk to me about a fb message he got from this kid I used to like. This was before he n I got serious. The kid said I was with him and that we messed around. I WAS SCARED he would leave me so I sais no. That kid and I only kissed but I was not with anyone at the time. While I pregnant he continued to still go out until I was7 months I drove to his house every night until,I was ready to pop. We had the baby and everything seemed great we stayed at his mom's house until we had enough money and that was a lie. He started to ignore me and we fought all the time we both started talking to other people but not hooking up HE said I was cheating and I suspected as well. We would fight every night and finally I walked out. I left him ans I feel so alone and depressed he blames me for lying and everything and I'm starting to think it was all my fault. I have been so depressed to be living back at home and he hates me. He doesn't see that all I wanted was for him to care.

Karen

February 03, 2013 @ (Pennsylvania, USA)

Tags: breakup, mistake, regret

Where to begin? I guess I should start with when we met. It was April 9th, 2012; the day we got back from a trip for marching band. I was talking to my friend Melanie and she said, "you should try to talk to new guys. You never know, something good might come out of it." I said, "who should I talk to though and how?" That's when she suggested I talk to the guy who would eventually be the best boyfriend I've ever had: Brandon. So, when I got home, I message him on Facebook because I had nothing better to do and I thought if I went up to him in person and talked to him that it would be weird. I doubted that he even knew who I was (I was wrong about that. Turns out our friend Nick had told him that he should date me when I was a freshman. I'm now a junior and he was a sophomore at the time. We're in high school). So, we hit it off and everything seemed great. But as months passed I was wondering why he never asked me out. He told me he wanted to get to know me better first. So then the summer went by and we didn't talk much. Then in August 2012, we had band camp and we started talking again. He asked me if I wanted to sit with him on the bus on the way to competitions. I said yes. The bus rides were always fun and he was a really big flirt. Once again, I began to wonder why he wasn't asking me out, but this time I didn't bring it up. Then on November 6th, 2012, we hung out and he asked me out. The way he did it was really corny, but it was cute. I was so happy. Then, 2 weeks later he told me that he didn't want me hugging other guys, because he wanted it to be an exclusive part of our relationship. I thought this was dumb, but I just said okay because I didn't want to start anything. This were going fine and then two weeks later, he told me to switch lockers and move into his (I was previously sharing one with my best friend, Louis). I think he was just jealous or insecure. Maybe both. I was his first girlfriend, so maybe he was just scared he'd lose me or something. So, that weekend he's over my house. We've made out before but we had never used tongue and we tried it but I didn't like it. He got frustrated and said that "it's a way to kiss. How can you not like it?" I said I didn't know. Then over the next two weeks it seemed like everyday he said he was getting frustrated with me. I was getting upset and depressed because I felt like I was letting an not being a good enough girlfriend. So, eventually I decided to break up with him on December 14th, 2012, because I just wasn't happy anymore. I did it over the phone because the only other time I would have been able to do it was at school or at my house and that would have been awkward. So I was on the phone with him and I did it. I broke up with him. He didn't say anything and I started to cry. I felt really bad and him not saying anything made me feel worse. Then five minutes later he said "Can we still be friends?" I said "yes" he said "okay. Bye." And hung up. I kept crying for a good 3 hours. He called me like 2 hours later but I was asleep. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes that I don't think he's mad at me and that he wishes things could have worked out but he's glad we can still be friends. I was happy about that. But as the weeks passed it seemed like he wanted the opposite. Now, he rarely talks to me and I feel like when he does, I annoy him. I miss him so much and it's ridiculous. I want him back, but I know he'll never want me again. I at least want to be friends again. I asked him to my junior prom, so maybe that will help, but we'll have to wait and see. Is there anything else I can do? I think I might be in love with Brandon and knowing that I screwed things up just hurts so much. I want to fix it. Breaking up with him was probably the biggest mistake in my life and I regret it so much.

Drew H

January 18, 2013 @ (Indiana)

Tags: unreal, how could she

Man where to begin. I'm now 23. Dated my ex (EK) for a little over 2 years. We went to college together and spent 95% of nights together. She graduates and gets a job 2.5 hours away, but we were solid. We told each other we loved the other and consistently talked about living together after I graduated.

We see each other about 2/3 of weekends and still go strong. Then one day when I go to visit here, out of nowhere, she sits me down and tells me she doesn't think it is going to work out. I'm heartbroken, but am able to calm down and talk it through. she admits to not seeing the whole story and changes her mind relatively quickly and we have a good weekend together.

A few days later, she messages me and expresses how depressed she is. I try to calm her down, but she loses it and says she isn't going to talk to me until after thanksgiving (1 week). When we do talk, she says she wants to discuss all our issues. I agree to meet on my way back to school.

We talk. It wasn't the most pleasant, but we salvage the weekend and have a good 1.5 days together. Then on Wednesday, after a bad day of work, she says she can't do it and says she gonna breakup with me in person at my apartment. I dont wait around. I buy flowers and chocolate and surprise her at her apartment. We talk that night and have a plan to spend a weekend at my school together. I spend the night.

We wake up at 6:30 am (she has to work) and she breaks up with me. I am forced to drive 2.5 hours and go straight class after losing the girl I was in love with.

I do the right thing and leave her alone for a month. No birthday text or any contact from her in December. I call in Jan to initiate a conversation. No response. I try again a few days later. No response. She sends me a FB message saying to stop contacting her. Before I read this, I am meeting with a different ex (KD) for advice. I go to the bathroom during lunch with KD and she takes my phone and grabs EKs phone number and starts texting her. It is not until later that I find out about this after EK accusses KD of actually being me (aka me having 2 phone numbers) and threatens to call the police if i show up at her door.

I send her a FB explaining the deal and telling her how inappropriate she is behaving. She doesn't respond. I randomly run into her the next weekend on campus and she is a wreck and acts incredibly miserable, even though she is dating a guy she became "friends" with right before we broke up.

I will likely never know the truth because she has not answered anything I have texted her. All I have been told is that she was unhappy for a long time and led me on for about 6 months. I have taken the higher road, but it's tough not knowing what went wrong with the girl I loved.

Liz

December 24, 2012 @ (Lost)

Tags: emotional, regret

so back in october I started talking to this guy (he's 18 and so am I), at first we weren't fond of each other because of a certain situation but slowly we started talking on good terms, I got to know him and he took the time to get to know me, we hung out a few times and I started developing feelings or a crush towards him. soon after on november 1st 2012 we started dating officially, we would see each other every day and sometimes he would come over out of the blue unexpectedly. I found these gestures sweet at a point and we would constantly spend time together. Myself, I really don't have many friends and I have a real fear of trusting people because of my past but I let that go with him. I was head over heels up until now when I slipped into a depression. I got sick with bronchitis and we couldn't see each other for a few days but he still wanted to see me although we could not kiss because of my sickness and he was pretty sick himself. I started having doubts in the back of my head was this what I really wanted. He treated me so well like a princess, we had our little arguments yes but that never changed how I felt and we always had great communication with each other and he all around cared about me and never have I ever been treated that way by any guy and it sort of gave me hope that things were going to change for me for once. he always complimented me although I never felt beautiful and I was also having problems with my life ie. college, family problems but he was there to asure me he wasn't going anywhere which scared me even more. I started feeling as if when I kissed him I didn't feel right because he said he was slowly falling for me but I was trying hard to keep myself from falling for him seeing as the duration of the time we've been together. He makes me so happy, he brightens my day and since we've broken up these past few days I feel empty and regretful and just guilty. I feel as if I let something good go and I'm not sure if I'll ever find that again, but I had to let him go if I did not feel right at that time because I slowly started feeling depressed again. I felt as if I couldn't feel for him the way he wanted me to and it hurts because I hurt him and he did nothing wrong. Was is that he was clinging on too much that I started to feel this way? I'm so confused and lost, that I'm not sure if this was right or if it was. I'm scared I may have lost out on my forever.

Nikki

December 23, 2012 @ (Cambridge, MA)

Tags: Coward

T got depressed in October & wouldn't see me for six weeks. My father died Nov 6th. Nov 14th was my birthday. 1 1/2 weeks later, T disappeared without explanation, not answering my calls & messages. I was depressed after my father's death, I'm very insecure, and I'm used to the people I care about disappearing. Due to these factors, I interpreted T's absence as he didn't want to talk to me. After about 10 days, I finally sent T a text asking why he wasn't answering my messages, that he said he cared about me, & I missed our conversations. The next day, T answered that he'd been away without a phone signal. He said no one else was upset by his absence (no one else was used to daily contact with him!), and that he was uncomfortable that I'd assume something negative about him. I explained about my depression & insecurity. T said he understood, that he wasn't upset. He wrote a bit about his Thanksgiving, sent a joke, and then a smile when I joked in reply. I thought everything was OK. But then I didn't hear from T again. I wondered if T had gone away again. I was also worried~ I didn't know if he was dead or alive. After about a week, I went to T's place, and was shocked to find that he was at home. I suddenly realized that I'd been left for no reason, and that T didn't even tell me, had in fact led me to believe that everything was all right between us. I rang the bell. T wouldn't come down. I rang the bell for a while, and T called the police! Not only was T not man enough to come down and tell me what was going on, but he wouldn't even tell me that he didn't want to talk to me. T said that he had very strong feelings for me, that he loved me. He said we were friends, and our friendship was the most important thing. T had also told me that he'd never forget how I was there for him when his father died. He dumped me 2 1/2 weeks after my father's death! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi2vHrT-kU&list=HL1356282746

Krissy

April 24, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: heart break

I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one, and after having several bad realstion ships I was excited. He was everything I wanted. We dated for a year and a half, and in the beginning it was great. But as time went on he talked to me less and less, NEVER EVER hung out with me. I had to beg. When i told him i loved him he never say it back. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought I needed to change. So for our one year I made him a scrapbook I spent months on. What does he say? "Oh.. nice thanks." I didn't get anything for valentines day.... and then soon he just felt completely distant. He was planning to go to new York to school, and when I asked him what was going to happen to us, he says "I dunno." I never got an answer. I soon became so lonely, waiting for him and practically kissing his feet. I became depressed and soon got fed up. I broke up with him (after many harsh words from him) and I figured if he loved me he would try to come back. He never did. He never told me he loved me. I wasted a year and a half on him. Never again. I am hoping the one for me is still out there, but for now I still cry over him.

Suzyjoe

February 23, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: bestfriend, heartbreak

Ok so he's my bestfriend and all that crap.. He went out with both of my girl bestfriends and apparently "loved" them..but then he falls "in love" with me and stuff and asks me out and I of course said yes. But then he gets suspended from school and I don't see him for about 3 weeks I don't talk w him or communicate in any way w him and its driving me crazy! And sO he finally gets his Facebook back and I send him a message but he totally ignores me cuz he hasn't answered and I sent him almost a week ago. Then people tell me that he's cheatIng on me but I don't eaisly believe rumours but you never know rite? And so finally I break up w him feeling totally depressed that I did and I don't know if he knows yet cuz I just sent it today.. And I totally regret it but it felt right and then it feels soooo wrong..and now I'm left w nothing..but a broken heart (as cliche as that sounds)

Jenna

February 15, 2012 @ (philly, pa)

Tags: vday breakup

Its valentines night, and this site seems to be an awesome outlet, so here's my story.. Boyfriend of 8 mos and I had a mutual breakup on new years day. I instantly regretted it and wanted him back. I was depressed for 2 weeks while we tried to maintain a friendship. I then found out he felt the same way I had about the breakup, but I was slightly hesitant in getting back together because his actions just weren't matching his words.. For a whole month now he's been fucking around with my feelings telling me he wants to get back and still loves me but then forgetting to call or blowing me off. Its emotional torture hoping for something that continuously disappoints you. He finally ended that cycle last night telling me he can't give me what I need and that its over, BUT that he still hoped to get back together someday and grow old with me..this was a man I'd been best friends with for years, and who had at one time treated me like gold. I didn't hear from him today at all, and like a fool I waited to. I know its over and will never be, today was my last disappointment from him..happy freakin vday.