Searching for "idea"

62 Results For 'idea'

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad

We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/

Trisha

February 29, 2012 @ (Cali)

Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight

Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.

We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.

Confused, And Lost

January 16, 2012 @ (Wv)

Tags: break-up

Well, it's been around six months, since my girlfriend and I had broken up. we had only been going out for three months but it seemed things were going really well for both of us. Some unfortunate things happened, and she broke up with me because I had to move. I ended up not moving because of a death in the family and she told me she didn't want to hurt me anymore, so we didn't get back together. In the past six months, her best friend told me that my ex still had feelings for me. (keep in mind, the three of us are still very close friends.) Then about a month later she said that my ex didn't want a relationship. I still have feelings for her, and have tried to move on, but nothing seems right. I need an idea as to what I'm to do at this point, because she seems to be falling for another guy now, three months after her best friend said that to me. I'm lost, and need help. Anyone?

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.

Gordon

November 21, 2011 @ (Newtown)

Tags: cheating

Everyone is prone to being cheated on, no matter if you are male or female, I don’t care if society says men are more likely to cheat. Being a male I am one of those guys who thinks it is completely unnecessary and cruel to cheat on someone who treats you like a princess and cares for you. So here is my story and I hope to get a lot of feedback from this. Thank you. So two year ago my girlfriend, we’ll call her “She-Devil”,moved back home from Arizona to live with her mom and to get away from all the bullshit out west. I met her through facebook, I got a message from here saying hello. We talked and hung out that day. Who could blame her, you move back home knowing no buddy but family, why not try and find people to hand out with. So that first week we felt instantly in love and all that great bullshit that goes along with a new lover. I was living on my own and she with her mom. My lease was running out and about 10 months of being together, we had this great idea of me moving in with her and her mom, and turn her basement into a living area for us to live in. I built a god damn basement for this girl. I loved doing it because I love seeing my girl happy. Along with many other little thinks, like buying the “just because” rose, and small things. O! and I got her a job working with my sister at an animal clinic. So for another year we were living the sweetest live together at that house, felt just like were I thought I belonged. So a month or two ago, she starts to act really distant and unhappy. Work was stressful but she would always come home and talk about it. Nothing. I would do what ever I could to make her happy. Got a card and wrote her a note. Leave post it notes saying how much I loved her where she could find. Just cute little thinks to get a smile out of her and in a way it seemed as if she was faking it. So I never really thought of her as a cheater, but during this month, one of her clients asked her if she could watch his dogs for him while he is at work. Extra money, who wouldn’t.
We had no sex life during this last month and she always seemed to doll herself up on the days that she would go “watch his dogs”. So this last Friday I over hear here talking to her mom about when to break up with me. I confronted her and that night she told me how she “wanted to be alone” she “isn’t sure what she wants” she “needs to spend time and find out who she is and what she needs to do it live.” Fucking high school bullshit, excuse. So it was the hardest thing for me, because of the fact that I cared about her so much and literally built a life for us to start. I was lead on so much to think that we would be together for much much longer. So that night I take off to vent with my buddies and I returned to fall asleep next to her. No matter how upset I was, I felt comfort in laying next to her. The next morning I get a phone call from my sister telling me to get my shit and get the fuck out of that house. I asked why, feeling very scared, thinking I was in danger. She would not tell me why, just to grab my stuff and get out. She convinced my dad and her boyfriend to all help out, in one trip we grabbed all my shit and got out in 2 hours because my sis didn’t want any confrontation with her. She gets to deal with her at work. So during the drive back to my dads, my sister hits me with it. She-devil told her co-workers, who she thought were her friends, that she had been fucking this guy and bragging about how he’s going to build her an apartment, going to buy her a computer, and offered her a job at his company. She-devil also bragged about how big his dick was. What She-devil didn’t expect was that these “friends” of hers are far more loyal friends to my sister and felt the need to tell her all this, thank god. Well now other co-workers started telling her how they walked in on her and this guy in a back room in the office, she would always come in late and take long lunches. I’m living at my Dads now, depressing as fuck. She denied it all when I asked her about it and she said that all those people at work are making shit up. Yeah, cuz I believe that. I did so much for this girl only to find out that my average size, 25 year old cock isn’t good enough for this 21 year old Cunt, but a bigger 43 year old dick does the trick. What the FUCK!!!!!! I’ve been cheated on before but never by someone who I cared so much for and thought she did the same. Ugh, Fucking Gross.

Anonymous

November 06, 2011 @ (NY)

Tags: Jail bait

My then boyfriend and I had been seriously together for almost 3 years. Everything was just fine. We were planning on moving in together, planning our 3 year anniversary trip to Miami and even, possibly, when the time was right we shared the similar ideas of marriage and starting a family. I basically lived my life for this person. We saw each other every day without fail because we live close together.

Until that fateful day when I received a phone call from him...He calls to tell me the he is in jail and needs $1500 bail money. I tell him that I don't have the kind of money and that he should contact his parents as a last resort. Meanwhile my mind is going crazy & I'm thinking to myself what he could have possibly done to land himself into this kind of predicament.

An hour later his dad gives me call and we both deicide to go to the jail and bail him out. One the way there we talk about all the possibilities of why he could be there. The only thing that could plausibly come across my mind was unpaid tickets in relations to his car. Well we get to jail and since there is only one person allowed in to bail him out, his dad goes in to retrieve him. Mind you we had gotten there at 7 p.m. and didn’t leave until 1 a.m.

When my then boyfriend decides to get into the car he tells me that he would rather talk to me one on one rather than his dad being around. This made me even more upset. I had waited several hours already and now he has the nerve to make me wait even more for an explanation!

So when we finally get to our destination he gives me this bogus story about how he had a relationship with a girl who had lied about her age, before I even came into existence and that she had been stalking him etc. etc. So he lied and said it was basically a case of fatal attraction.

The next day I think to myself “Why the hell would the cops go and pick him up, at his job!, on things that happened years ago?”
So I call his dad, because things just weren’t adding up and he tells me the dreadful news that this incident happened in September of this year! Keep in mind it was the last week of October I find out this news. Adding insult to injury he lied about the whole fatal attraction scenario!!

In actuality, my then boyfriend, who is 22, went on facebook, started communicating and sexting with a girl who he claimed told him she was 17 but she’s really 15. He told me he didn’t even have a facebook when he had one the whole entire relationship. They met up on what he says on one occasion in the parking lot of her school. There this 15 year old girl performs oral sex on him. Somehow, someway her parents find out about this and her dad is a cop. So now he’s is in a lot of trouble and must go to court for Lord knows how long it takes to settle his situation.

So now his face, name, and address is plastered all over the internet for anyone who looks his name up to see. That he sought out sexual relations with an underage girl and got caught!

There were warning signs that we would argue about consistently.
1. He was so defensive about his phone; he always hid it, and would go to the extremes to cover his tracks.
2. Every time he went on the internet he would delete the browsing history.
3. He wanted to get into shape and eat healthy all of a sudden, which was around the time he started talking to this girl.

WOW!! He is a pathological liar and continued to lie to me to keep me!! He didn’t even want me to go to his court date! Had I not found out the truth from his dad! He would have continued to lie to me!

I am a complete mess right now. I’m going through midterms and working. Things have just been absolutely rough! I have even contemplating taking him back. But I know that it is not an option! Even though I’m hurting for the moment, I need to move on with my life and let time be the best remedy.

Miss Boo

July 06, 2011 @ (UT)

Tags: break-up, crazy

The summer before my first year of high school I started dating one of my best guy friends, Jesus. He had been my best friend since the beginning of middle school and we were so close. I had liked him for awhile and he had no idea entire time. Right before school ended he told me that at first the only reason he had started talking to me was because he thought I was just some hot girl he could get with and be done with but after we started talking he realized that I was actually I really funny, nice person that he decided to just be friends with me.
I didn't tell him that I liked him I just said "Oh! That is so sweet, blah, blah, blah." My girl best friend is the one that told him I did because she was mad at me and didn't realize that he liked me a lot and it as actually good news to him. The next day he asked me out and I was more than surprised. I said yes of course and then we started dating.
Not long after that his crazy started coming out. I'd wake up with like 80 text messages from him. If I didn't call him back or answer a message from him in like 5 minutes he would send me 10 half angry half worried. I just wrote it off for awhile. Just thinking he really must love me or he must really be bored.
I had to go out to visit my dad in Alabama for 3 weeks and I told him I probably wouldn't be using my phone that much so he shouldn't worry. That is when he went REALLY crazy. He would send me pictures of my house at like weird times of the day and if I didn't answer he would slice up his arms and legs and send me pictures of it bleeding and gross. It was all just to weird. I told him when I got back we needed to talk in person. He said okay but still kept up the weird stuff. When I got home we went to a park to talk. It was all just a really weird day. I told him we needed to take a little break so I could decide if I wanted to move to Alabama to live with my dad. He went insane.
End of story summed up real quick. He got violent. I had to change my number. Change our locks. Only go outside with someone else and I never stayed home by myself. We almost filed for a restraining order, instead we just got him sent to a different school.

Mara

June 20, 2011 @ (VA)

Tags: bad boys, jerks, psychos

I knew from day 1 that the relationship was a bad idea. He was dating 3 girls at once, and told everyone at our job about it. Maybe I got involved just because I knew it wouldn't work, as I had recently broken up with someone I really loved, due to unfortunate circumstances. Maybe I just wanted to believe I was special enough to change him. Unsurprisingly, it was the same old story over again.

He was bad news. Carried a gun around, had an awful temper, thought he was some kind of gangster because he came from a city, even though he was now living in a rural area. Was drunk or high more or less constantly. When I found out he was cheating on me, I still hit him in the face. He tried to smash a computer monitor through my windshield and threatened to kill me and bury me in the woods for telling the other girl about what was going on. By the look on his face, which I will probably never forget, I believed him. I stayed with friends until he skipped town to go back to where he came from; I felt happily purged of my desire to see why girls dated bad boy types. He tried to call me for almost a year, after that, and left me all kinds of messages, both hateful and apologetic, all of which I ignored, until I finally changed my number, and that was the end of that.

Jerry

April 11, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: No-O

My ex told me our relationship has become "platonic" We had been together for about 4 months. I was an ideal boyfriend in nearly every way, I'm funny, I'm decent looking, I'm a great cook, and I cooked several fine meals for her. I took her out to fancy restaurants, movies, and plays. I bought her flowers several times to surprise her, and even delivered them to her at work so her coworkers could all be jealous of her. There was one problem, I was bad in bed.

I was a virgin when we started dating. She knew this, because we had been friends for a while, so she knew not to expect much from me in the bedroom, at least at first. In spite of that I knew how to give her pleasure in other ways, and never failed to get her off.

When we finally had sex, I didn't have the problem that most guys have the first time. Instead of not lasting long enough, I didn't have an orgasm at all. I was hard, I just didn't finish. We had sex on three different dates, each time the same thing. I was getting better at it each time, less awkward, more satisfying for her, but each time I didn't blow, probably because she was obsessed with making me come, and it made me nervous.

The last time we had sex, I got her off three times, I stayed hard for so long, we just kept going until the early hours of the morning, until she literally passed out from exhaustion. But, because I didn't have an orgasm, she began to doubt herself and think that I didn't find her attractive.

I told her every day how beautiful she was, but still she somehow reached the conclusion that the fact that I hadn't gone from virgin to Peter North in 3 lays somehow meant she was to blame.

We were going to try one more time, but the day before that date I found out my mom was dying. We tried anyway, but I was to distressed and couldn't even get it up.

So now, my mom is on her deathbed, my bills are piling up because I have missed work, I am behind in my classes because I have been missing school, and my ex dumped me, not because I can't please her in bed, but because she doesn't think I get enough pleasure in bed.

I think she should have given me more time. I mean, 3 times isn't really much of a chance to prove yourself, especially if you start as a virgin.

Funny thing is, I'm not mad at her, I feel sorry for her, I was probably the best boyfriend she will ever have.