You Broke Up How?

Dumped

February 20, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: cold breakup

I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.

So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.

Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.

Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”

Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.

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Evangeline

January 07, 2010 @ (Colorado)

Tags: dummy, drunk, cheater

When I was a Junior in college, I thought like couldn't get better! I was studying to be a volcanologist in Colorado, I worked part time as a tour guide in the fossils department in the local museum and volunteered at the public library. I was so happy. Then I met HIM. I was salting the side walks of the library in the middle of winter when a man wearing all black walked up to the library doors. All of sudden, he slipped on a thin, sheet of ice, falling flat on his bottom. I hurried over to help him up and I swear, the moment I looked into his eyes, I fell hard. Now I'm not the one to believe in love at first sight, but this man was an exception. He was at the library to meet his girlfriend. Yup, a bit of a dissapointment... But to my surprise, they broke up that day in the library. Since then, he would visit the library whenever I was there and we became close friends. So like fell into love and we were almost inseperable. We dated for about two years. We went through everything together. He was the lead singer in a band and I fulfilled my dream of being able to work with volcanoes. Yeah, I left some to go to different countries, but we were head over heels in love. Then one day, I came back from a trip and caught him in front of MY apartment making out with some redhead. I was FURIOUS! He tried talking to me and telling what all I'VE done wrong. He even said that I DON'T CRY. I said "Oh yeah? Well, boo fucking hoo, jerk." And pushed him out the door.

Emma

September 06, 2012 @ (texas)

Tags: Broke up. Chance

so my girlfriend broke up with me but still wants to be best friend. So this is what happen im always calling her and wanting spend time with her, im just really clingy and i don't give her space and always asking her question and up her ass about stuff. i get upset when she busy with school and homework. For the past year she has told me to change and give her space but i never did and she broke u with me for good. and its only been couple days and i been trying to give her space and not be around as much and she told me that she still in love with me but not completely and she just wants to be single and work on herself with school and stuff. do you think i have a chance to get her back, im working on myself and changing

Yoon

May 28, 2020 @ (Earth)

Tags: Painful breakup

I broke up with my gf 3 days ago. More precisely got dumped by her. She never showed any discomfort nor any hatred, and on that morning out of the blue, she said she wanted to break up. It is still painful trying to get over her. I really loved her with passion. But, just after the breakup, I woke up. I started thinking rationally about her. Now, what looked like the perfect girl for me from the heaven looked like an evil. She's been talking crap about me to her friends. She never loved me from the start. She hates rejecting absolutely anything so she just felt bad rejecting to my confession. What I thought was love, was all an act. She just wanted a close friend. I still can't get the handle of the fact that the "I love you" and my first kiss with her was all fake. After the breakup she, without hesitation, blocked me from social media. She never loved me and never will. Moving on is hard but I'm starting to realise she actually has lots of faults, and wasn't as pretty as how it seemed. She never had a clear goal or plan for her future. Didn't try her best in school. Just wants to stay at home and rejected a great job offer just because she was lazy. She was gaining weight but didn't do anything about it. She lacks self confidence. Her relationship with her family was really bad. In fact I can't find any pros about her. Her appearance was actually average. I could say I was charmed by her appearance and personality at first but when I found out who she really was, it was shocking and felt betrayed. I hate myself who still miss her. It's still painful to break up with her even though I knew from the early days of the relationship, she might not be the girl for me. We still carried on thinking if I worked hard it'll work out. But it's still hard when someone so close to me is now gone.

KAT

November 30, 2014 @ (Unknown)

Tags: Bad breakup

I knew the guy for 3 years I went to school with him but he graduated a year ahead of me. He was in the military and I hardly saw him... I only saw him twice but he would tell me all the stories about him and his chick friends! Im okay with a guy having chick friends but compared to what they were doing it was stressing me out! I got suggestive messages that were for another woman! He told me stories about girls trying to get him to have sex with them, them ending up in his hotel room naked, One wanting him to sleep in her room and then getting a boob job after I had him stop staying in her room...It was stressing me out and I don't know why! The distance was also killing me So i had to break it off with him.. I told him how i felt and the fact I couldn't handle it any more. we agreed to be friends but he sent me good morning texts and we talked one last time he was trying to understand my reasons... I cried for a long time and had trouble eating... found out he was harming himself too

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Waited All That Time For Nothing!

December 16, 2013 @ (Chicago)

Tags: bad break up, ugh, in love, crying

So. I had a thing with this guy. He is three years older than me and we started dating when I was 16. I immediately fell for him after our first date. He was everything I was looking for in a guy, and I could already tell that he was special. We had been dating for 2 months when he had gotten a new job and had to move out of state. I thought it was the end of us but we still managed to carry on for two more months. He was only 2 hours away so he came back about once a week. But then things started to get ugly, he stopped texting me and eventually said things weren't going to work out because he didn't want to keep me on the hook and he didn't see himself moving back home. So I went for a month without him, crying every single day. For some reason I had this gut feeling that things were going to work out, but I thought it was ridiculous so I tried to ignore it. But out of the blue, he texted me again and we began to see each other every time he came back. We were inseperable and we truly fell in love with eachother. He was trying to transfer to a store back home and for months and months he couldn't. But finally, after 9 months he did and we were both ecstatic. But in the weeks leading to his return I had a sinking feeling that I couldn't explain. 3 days after he got back, he broke up with me, saying he still wouldn't be able to give me adequate attention and that I should find someone better. He wasn't even willing to try to make it work for a month. I don't think that was the real reason.

Ahmad

February 06, 2016 @ (Lebanon)

Tags: I don't really know...

Loving her was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly. I'm quoting Red, a love song by Taylor Swift because that's what I've been doing for the past 6 weeks. Listening to stupid love songs. I don't know how to start. I'd be lying if I said she was my everything. She was beyond that. I will never forget her impact on my life. She gave up on me. After 5 years of love. It sucks letting your soulmate go and not being able to do anything about it because she gave up. I will never find love again. Don't do that mistake guys, don't let the relationship reach the point of no return. You will regret it.

Detty

December 09, 2021 @ (West virginia)

Tags: Bad breakup, sad

Okay so I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months 2 days ago. We are both 15. It all started at church camp. My dad is a pastor and he goes to my dad’s friends church who is also a pastor obviously. So we will call my ex Gabe, how it all started was the first night of church camp Gabe’s pastor's son (Elijah) introduced us. I didn’t even give Gabe a second glance. Then that night we just got out of church and it was dark and late and my feet were hurting so bad, so I took off my heels. I was walking out the door and I hadn’t even noticed that he was in front of me. He held the door open for me but I didn’t say thank you, and he said “You’re welcome” and it went from there. He walked me to my dorm room and he said goodnight. I was head over heels for him now. The next day he was with me all day long. Turns out that he has had a crush on me for 2 years!! Now I just found out who this dude is but that was the main thing that got me was the fact that he had his eye on ME out of all the pretty girls at these things. So two days later he asked me out and I obviously said yes. So church camp was over but we still saw each other. He lived 2 hours away and the first time we met up was at Pittsburgh Zoo because that was like the halfway point for both of us. So everyone knew we are dating at this point. Now we would facetime for like 2 hours every night and we would talk about marriage and what age we would get married, you know like things every young couple talks about. Well everything was going good until last month. He tells me EVERYTHING and a lot of those things he shouldn't have told me. But he told me that his youth pastor said that he needed to let go of something . And I was terrified that it was me. But Gabe told me it wasn't and that it was the fact that he looked at pictures. And I was super upset because I felt that I wasn't good enough for him that is why he looked at pictures cause if I was good enough and pretty enough then he wouldn't need those pictures. I didn't break up with him though. So after that things just weren't right I didn't feel the same about him anymore and I couldn't trust him. I still tried to make it work because he loved me so much. But then I found out that he was telling my ex about my body and some of the things he's seen and things we've said and that drew the line for me because I didn't like how he was trying to make my ex boyfriend jealous. Gabe was too clingy from the start and I was too nice to slow it down. Now I broke up with him 2 days ago and I am really missing him and missing talking to him. I know he is hurting like crazy and that makes me just want to check up on him but I know it will make matters worse if I do.

Maddy

December 19, 2010 @ (united states)

Tags: example 3

ok so me and my boyfriend were dating for a year 4 months.we were completely in love with each other for a year..then things were getting weird so we broke up,we then decided that we couldnt live without each other and got back together.we broke up and got back together about 3 times in 4 months.well we had a christmas dance the day after his birthday.things were going pretty good we had our little fights but what relationship doesnt? so the day of his birthday he we probably hungout for an hour.he said that he had things to do like go chritmas shopping and go out to eat with his family....i wasnt invited.oh and christmas was 4 weeks away.seemed a little fishy.so the next day, the morning of our dance, he decided that he didnt want to go with me.i was so confused and ddnt really understand why.but we ended up going.we had a lot of fun at dinner but he was being awkward at the dance...that night my mom had decided that she didnt want me to be with him.so she made us breakup.it was terrible...but we still talked at school (the breakup happened on sunday) on monday he told me that he loved me and that he still wanted to be with me and i told him my feelings were mutual. well on tuesday he was all over this girl and they were holding hands at school all day...i go home to find a facebook message saying that he oesnt want anything to do with me and that he hopes it will work out in the end.i was doing good for two weeks.i was hanging out with another guy and didnt really think about my ex.well i just recently broke down.every song i heard remindedme of him...i read all the notes and messages we sent each other.we were in sooo much love with each other.he screwed me over so bad and i dont know how to get over him.i miss him so much and i still love him but i dont want to.he has been such a jerk to me and he hates me.help! i need advice...please help.