You Broke Up How?

NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags

My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

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Lily

November 06, 2009 @ (Phoenix)

Tags: Phoenix

Josh and I hit the 1 year mark. we had been living in separate places, but I pretty much lived with him. we had a talk and we thought it would be best to move in together. my places was bigger than his so that was the winner. He moved in and things were cool for the first few months. I don't know if he stayed getting commitment issues or what, but he just started flipping out. He'd come home from work and he was mad. nothing really could Cheer him up. I'm not sure if he thought i was expecting to get married or what. it was more like roomies + benefits. worked out well for everyone. he took a swing at me the other day, that was it for me. no thank you

Will

August 27, 2016 @ (Nj)

Tags: Bad breakup, heartbreak

I was with my ex gf for 1.5 years and things towards the end started to get worse with more fights happening. tI'll one day she called it quits. I asked her what I did wrong and all she said was that it wasn't me. That I was the perfect guy, that all her friends thought I was sweet and that her family thought I was too good for her, but rather that her depression was getting worse and she couldn't handle a relationship. We stopped talking and not even two weeks later I see her as I was walking back to my friends apartment get out of a car with another guy and go into her house. Later thy night I get a text that she slept with this guy.... My heart sunk, I also heard from other people that she was the one to make the move and kiss him and leave with him and that she was planing on dating this guy... So much for not being able to handle a relationship, apparently moving on was easy for her as I was here struggling to be happy

Abby

February 01, 2016 @ (USA)

Tags: Bad breakup

We were together for 4 years .. Everything was great. Till his friend came along and he changed for the worst. All in a month. He's clearly lost now. I found out he cheated because the girl posted on his Facebook. If he can't let you see his phone he's cheating... If he can't let people know you're together he's cheating .. If he gets disrespectful he's cheating... If you break down and cry and he has no emotion he's cheating. My gut told me all of that but I didn't want to accept it. The day before I found out he wiped my tears away and told me we'd be ok. Didn't text or talk to me at all that night. Then I wake up to the post on Facebook. It hurts but it's important to realize that was his choice and it clearly wasn't meant to be.

Jennifer

January 31, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: (gay, boyfriend, bestfriend, mutual)

My name is Jennifer and I am 18 years old. About a year a go, my best friend of 2 years finally asked me out and I couldn't have been happier. We spend an amazing 9 months together until something happened in November. We were having a bit of a hiccup in our relationship. Just a little lack of communication but nothing big. I told him we needed to talk things out, so we went out for coffee the morning of the 27th.
That's when he dumped me hard, saying that he just didn't like me anymore, and had no feelings for me. It was completely out of the blue. I was distraught for about 2 weeks until he finally told me he was gay. I felt horrible, that I might have done something to cause it, or I made him turn gay. But he assured me that it was always a thought in his head but never wanted to tell me to spare my feelings.
I'll admit- things were awkward for a week or two but then we immediately returned to being best friends, and we were inseparable again. I also started hanging out with our other mutual friend, he was funny and smart and we really got along well.
Well about 2 weeks ago our mutual friend decided to tell me he was gay. I began to panic, thinking that something was up, but my ex was very consoling to say that everything was fine and there was nothing between the two of them- they were just friends and got along well because they had enough in common.
Easy enough right? Well wrong. The mutual friend let the cat out of the bag that he and my ex-boyfriend started dating a month after he dumped me.
So I was not only dumped for someone else, it was for our mutual best friend... who was a guy.
And now I'm not speaking to either of them because I feel betrayed that they would go behind my back like that. I told them everything and they kept that huge secret from me for about 3 months.
Anyone know what to do?
-Jennifer

Dave

December 08, 2024 @ (Ohio )

Tags: Incest

I broke up with my girlfriend because she stopped replying, I did a little research, she was having an affair with her father.
I'm staying single now

Janessa

July 28, 2014 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: confused

We've been dating since last July, and he's as sweet as can be.. at first. But eventually a man shows his true colors and stops doing everything he did to get you. Regardless, our relationship pretty much was just about sex to him. Which is probly why im 5 months pregnant. You would think that someone who's about to be a father would grow up and mature some to prepare himself.. nope. Hes 22 still lives with his parents and doesn't even have a license. What a joke. Well yesterday was our baby shower, and he acted soo stupid the whole time. He wasnt even with me the whole day. He wouldn't even take a picture with me cause his brother was there; and we were still together. Afterwards he left with his brother and came back home at 10 pm. He didnt even open gifts with me, just went straight to sleep. Well that caused a huge argument and now he talks about me blaming him for everything so he left and said he was walking home, all the way to palm bay.. I told Jim to jusy break up with me if hea not happy. Some how I think he only stays for the baby's sake, and I dont want that.

Nurse

May 24, 2016 @ (Somewhere)

Tags: Crying

We met on fb 5 years ago and we became friends then became lovers until it reached 4 years and almost 9 months. We were in a LDR since Feb last year. The relationship went smooth until last April 2016. He was very irritated of my calls and texts.. I found out he has a girl "callmate" then recently he wants his freedom and be single again.

John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

Maya

June 16, 2022 @ (Netherlands)

Tags: Breakup

When I was 16 I was curious about having a relationship with a boy. Any if possible, although I had some in mind for a while.

He was the friend of my brother, but also a friend in a group at school I was part of. He was nice, treated me like I was normal. I had very low self esteem. No other boy treated me like him.
I chatted a lot with him on MSN. At one point he broke up with his girlfriend and I was kind of eager to match him with someone. I started to like him and wishing I was his girlfriend. He made me feel tingly.
At one point I convinced him to kiss me. And he was very good at it.
We were not a couple at that point. He kept me on a distance, not sure what to do. Mostly because of my brother. The summer was hot and we were getting more involved. We shared many kisses and it was amazing. But still he would not want to be my boyfriend.
I was getting down, but I waited for him.
It was September when he finaly dared to make it official. My brother was kind of let down, but wanted us to be happy so he went along with it.

My relationship was in a nutshell a life changing experience, but not good for me. We had lots of sex, what kept us addicted to eachother. But he was not my match. He wanted to go out a lot, see sports and friends, while I wanted to stay at home, watch movies and such. And there was his toxic mother. In the beginning she was enthusiastic, but later on she didn't saw me as a good daughter in law. She was convinced I was not good for her son. In the end, she was right, but the way she treated me was not right. I felt worse about myself than ever before. But I loved him, so I holded on. Even when we were on a break for a month, I still went back to him. The last year of our relationship was the most miserable one. He made me feel like I was not good enough for him, because I was not myself. He was also right. I wasn't. I left all my hobbies behind and did things I didn't like. Even though he ment I was not his ideal girlfriend, I know now I couldn't match his expectations.
In the end he went out with a girl to a cinema. And that was his trigger to end it.
I was heartbroken and begged him to come back.
But he said he would not.
We met one last time and after that I never spoke to him again.

Now I can say I am grateful he ended it, but healing from this relationship took a long time for me. At first I thought about him daily, at almost every moment, and slowly that became less and less.

I met my husband 3 years later. Right after my lowest point ever. He is my match. Not sure soulmate, but I can't think of anyone more right for me. He is kind, caring, make me laugh and is my best friend. I can share anything with him. But most important: stay myself. I spent time on my hobbies and interests and he not only admires it, but stimulates me. I love him so much and I am grateful to have this other life.

From time to time I sometimes think about my ex. Wondering what my life would have looked like if we didn't broke up. Or what kind of children we would have had. I have a son now, so that is on my mind a lot. Doesn't mean I want to be his, but I just wonder. It doesn't hurt me anymore and I never want to go back.