You Broke Up How?

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

Final Security has made digital estate & digital legacy planning free and available to everyone. With our basic plan, you will be able to utilize our Info Vault to store your most important documents, photos and files ensuring your loved ones will get the information you intend them to without the expense and stress of lawyers and probate. And now with our free will builder, you can create your own online will and have it automatically added to your Info Vault. With Final Security’s new pricing structure, there is an option to fit everyone's needs and budget.

Get Your Free Digital Estate & Digital Legacy Planning Account Now

Tim

October 31, 2009 @ (NY)

Tags: ny

I'll keep this short... i got a call from jane. Jane is my Gf's best friend. She had jane break up with me for her. We're both juniors in college. I thought high school was over a long time ago. what kind of breakup is that? Happy freaking halloween... time to go get drunk

CaptainMac316

October 01, 2011 @ (USA)

Tags: Sorry, that sucks, That's hilarious

I was dating this girl for almost 5 years. We were high school sweethearts and that continued into college. I get home from work one night and I think it's just a normal night. We are laying in bed watching whatever and she turns to me and says "(Name redacted) we need to talk." My first thought was "Fuck...what did I do now?"
So I ask her "What's up?"
Her response: "I...I found somebody else." I was floored. This was from out of nowhere. Now, as I'm sitting there, I start to think "Where did she find somebody else?" She didn't go to college. She didn't work at the time. She didn't venture out of the house unless she went somewhere with her family. Basically, I was dating a loser. So I asked "Where did you meet this guy?"
She replied, "Online." Ah, that made a lot of damn sense now. So, I ask her "Which site?" I'm thinking like eHarmony or match.com. Her response "I met him in a Harry Potter chat room." My only reaction was to laugh at her. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. She definitely was not. "What do you talk about on a Harry Potter chatroom? Did he ask you if you wanted to see his wand?" I got no response. Was I said and upset? Yes, but remember, laughter helps out when getting over such things.

Nessa

June 20, 2014 @ (philly)

Tags: bad breakup

I have had the same boyfriend for five years I left him for three months because I needed a break to focus on school.
He would hit me up everyday begging for me to take him back and he was sorry for treating me badly. After three months I gave in and took him back. Everything was going well until I found out he was talking to someone else which I didnt mind we werent together and he said that he didnt tell her we were back together and he would end it now. I trusted him and he claimed he ended it. It never ended comes to show that he was in a realtionship with her a month before we got back together he fought for her and denied me. He said hes been single the past five years, I am crazy, He doesn't want me, that i ruined his life and all these things to everyone. He actually denied me when I gave him everything I had I sacrificed so much for him career wise, school wise, family wise, and he broke my heart. He denies it all still but still reaches out to me and says hes sorry and claims he is alone. The girl told me stop trying to steal her man and posts pictures of them everyday I HATE HIM he blaimed me for everything he claimed if i never left him this wouldnt have happened to begin with what hurts the most is he was the one i planned to do everything with and the girl claims i was stilling her man they only been together two months and he takes her to family functions and i feel like i lost out he calls me still and as much as i want to tell the other girl look what ur man is doing cuz she boast to everyone he chose her n he is living with her after a month n he denies it all when there are piks everywhere and my name is destroyed now and my reputation i never deserved that I stopped answering him and deleted him everywhere but keeps claiming he needs me he is alone suffering but is in a relationship with her I just want to feel better I cant believe he would deny me :'(he told her he was living with his mom when he has his own place and because of me she found out about his place and he started to take her there he just replaced me n the girl flaunts it every chance she getshe hit me abused me verbally emotionally he cheated on me so I left him he keeps trying to hit me up but is still with the girl he cheated on me with I don't want him but she's insecure cuz he still wants me n suck of her so she keeps harassing me in every possible way I blocked her everywhere but she found old sexts ok his phone n saying she gonna use them against me how do I cope I've prayed n prayed my heart is so heavy

Jocelyn

December 15, 2009 @ (pittsburgh)

Tags: etcc

My ex and I had dated on and off for five years, and just last month he went out with some friends from high school. I didn't go out partially cuz I wasn't feeling well, and partially cuz my ex-best friend was going to be there. Well, I found out that night from one of my friends that was there that my bf and my ex-best friend fucked around all night long. They had messed around at the bars, the taxi, and then he went to her house. I tried calling him but his phone was off. The next morning he leaves me a voicemail to call him because we needed to talk about something important. I ignored his calls, texts, voicemails, and knocks on the door for two weeks. I was so hurt, and in a depressed angry state of mind, I slept with two guys over that two week period. Then I find out he's taking my ex-best friend to court because she drugged him with ecstasy that night. I'm pretty mixed up and not sure how to feel, I can see how a drug could lower your morals, but he should have known what was going on and knew it was wrong, and I feel terrible cuz I didn't know that before I slept with those guys

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Tags: Heartbreak, breakup

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,


a heartbroken girl

Al

August 22, 2015 @ (usa)

Tags: regret

Long-distance relationship. we both loved each other very much but she didnt have time for me. i got mad at her for not caming with me during her summer vacation but i didnt let her know why i am mad cuz i wanted her to find out on her own( my biggest mistake was testing her if she could find out on her own). she had some family members that were seriously ill and she was feeling down. i couldnt talk to her due to my work and she texted me about how bad she was feeling but due to bad connection i never recieved the text and i guess that really hit her and she started to hate and broke up with me but maybe if i had been in touch with her she would be still with me.

My advice is never ever hide the reason for acting mad to your partner and having wishful thinking he or she will never break up with you no matter how much u push them over the limit. i wish i could turn back time and make different choices. All i have in my life is regret.

Holly Bod Bod

March 25, 2011 @ (Leicestershire)

Tags: example 1

i had fallen in love with him as soon as we met, it was love at first sight - for me. and as i am a very attractive woman he fell for me quickly. we got on really well together and were always laughing and canoodling where ever we could find a private enough place. then the douchebag fell for a girl waaaay uglier than me called mildred, and she is disabled - who is this sick man? so we broke up. he has left me heart broken.

Angry

September 07, 2017 @ (California)

Tags: #BADBREAKUP

The Ending Of My Relashionship. So it all started in 3rd grade when she told me do you know who i like ? and i said no. She said guess and then she eventually told me she liked me. Which made me feel very special but in 5th grade it all came to an end when she was secretly dating my freind and she said she didn't like me anymore it really made me deppresed when i came home. was it because i got fat was it because im Immature sometimes ?. Please tell me your thoughts.

Ryan

December 11, 2009 @ (West Haven)

Tags: west haven

I went over to pick up my girlfriend before we went out for the night. I get there and she was still in the shower. I sat at the table and was checking fb on my phone, just killin time and her phone buzzed. I dont read her messages, but i just happened to look over and saw the message, "are we on for *place's name* @ 7, i miss you baby". I want to just throw the phone at her in the shower, but i waited. i wanted to have some fun with this. I ended the night and we both went home, she had no idea. Well i went a little early and when they showed up, I walked up behind them. I got around and just said, hi. you should have seen the look on her face. she couldn't even talk. the dude was like, hey there (acting all cool and shit). I introduced my self to him. "Hey , i'm ryan... i'm her Ex as of this moment right now." I turned and walked away, all i could here is WTF. HAHA