You Broke Up How?

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

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Laura

May 31, 2016 @ (Everywhere)

Tags: Bad breakup

We met exactly a year ago, everything was perfect he was everything I've ever wanted, I fell in love with him instantly, we were both passionate about each other, I mean after our 2d date we were inseparable, we were practically living together, I trusted him completely so I told him all my secrets little did I know he would use it against me on every fight, he was bothered by the fact that I dated people before him and he was comparing me to him the whole time (he only dated 3 girls his entire life) he used to blame me for my past even though I was still a virgin when I met him he used to even blame me for kissing a lot of people before him (FYI he's 30 years old and I'm 25 ) he used to make me feel like a hore, he was very charming so when he apologizes and sweet talk to me I used easily forgive him.
I was spending all my time with him so my friendships faded with time, I even stood against my family at one point for him, 7months after we met he asked me to marry him and he even got me the perfect ring that I wanted and it was great and perfect, until he gets mad and he turns into this cruel careless person, by that time I don't even recognize him anymore he never physically hurt me, but he broke wine bottles and glass and all he could see, I tried explaining that that's wrong of him I tried talking to him, I tried doing the same but he didn't change a thing it even got worse,
I remember once I was too tired to have sex he got so mad and he was acting so bad when I told him how he was acting he just took my things and threw them to the door and kicked me out, he used to blame me for looking at my phone when I'm with him (and I mean just checking notifications ) he used to give me hell if I took a selfie calling me selfish and I love myself too much but I'm not doing anything a normal 25 year old women doesn't.
I took him on a trip for his birthday and he picked up a fight on the that day just to keep blaming me for ruining his birthday.
When we fight he just completely ignores me or call me a bitch or just keeps insulting me and when I fight back he goes mad and he blames me for it, he manipulated me so many time and hurt me just so he can feel better he used to make up stories just to see if I'm jealous I tried my best to be patient telling myself he will change, he will grow up, he will understand how much I actually love him but he keeps forbidding me not to even go out with male colleagues while he can go out with female colleagues all he wants so that was it I broke up with him and the scary part is I have no one to talk to abt this even the one only friend I have left Is so tired of me complaining about him I don't know where to start I don't even leave the bed

Rob

May 06, 2015 @ (Bay Area California)

Tags: Confused, wealth

I found a woman I wanted to marry I proposed. Everything was good, I was doing well in my career and got a promotion and I was excited to start a family and I recently purchased a nice condo.

I had immense self esteem issues throughout the engagement and dating. I had it ingrained in my mind that you need financial worth to be loved. I used pervious relationships as proof that I needed to be wealthy in order to be loved. I constantly assumed the relationship wouldn't work out and I would be abandoned for lack of wealth or cheated on. I walked around assuming people thought it was the "first" relationship I had due to my technology career.

It got to a point where I assumed I was being used for money (never knew exactly if it was true). She wanted me to buy a bigger home and fork out a lot for a wedding. It might of been her dream to have those things, but I didn't take it that way. It's like I subconsciously waited for an excuse to end the relationship. Instead of trying to work through it, I abandoned the relationship and out of the blue gave up on it. I was loved by her and her family and probably hurt everyone. It was the most rude, insecure, selfish thing I could of possibly did. I just gave up on a future, family, and love because of my insecurities and lack of maturity.

It was a Saturday and I called her and told her she didn't love me and that she loved money and to forget everything. It was the last time I ever spoke to her. Now that I look back on it, I am ashamed. I assumed she didn't love me and told her this, she refused and said she did. I told her to meet someone else that was financially wealthy enough and said to her that she would not see my ugly face again.

It's true you need to love yourself before you love another person as cliche as it sounds. Like if you don't value yourself, how do you expect someone else will. And the other "don't care what others think" is true. You can't go through life basing a relationship on what an outside force will think or assume.

If I could go back I would of handled myself very different and waited until I had my self esteem and confidence intact which I still lack.

Morgan

March 11, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Morgan

Me and my ex were together for 4 years. Last year he got into drugs. It ruined our relationship. He lied, stole and cheated.
When we first got together I had just gotten out of a relationship and he was in a bad one. We leaned on each other for comfort and ended up falling in love. I felt we had the perfect relationship. It was us against the world. We brought a beautiful child into the world and had the perfect happy family.
The stuff he has done to me while on drugs is unthinkable. The person I fell in love with was sweet, understanding, funny, considerate, everything I wanted out of a partner.
For 3 weeks prior to our breakup he got clean. It was great. I felt like we were falling in love all over again. Things were happy and he was being a wonderful father again. Then he left for the store that one faitful day and did not come back. He gave me some excuse about being kidnapped by old druggie friends. Came back the next day with my car wrecked and a girl. He stopped coming home after that and finally 4 days later I had enough and I packed up me and my son's stuff and moved out. Apparently that girl moved in the same day I left and they were together since then.
In the following 2 months he turned our family home into a drug house, went on leave from his job, totalled his car, and ended up in jail, oh and lost our home because he was jailed.
A couple of days into his jail stint we talked on the phone and he cried and appologized for everything he had done. We kinda reconciled but a week after he got released he started lying to me about texting someone. He got really defensive about who he was talking to just like he would do to me when he was doing drugs. He wont stop lying and I do not think I can get over the pain he has caused me and my son. He used to be wonderful and now he is the complete opposite. I am at a crossroads with our relationship and not sure what to do. My gut instinct tells me to run screaming into the hills and my heart is saying work it out with him.

A Friend

October 14, 2009 @ (Nebraska)

Tags: What a dog!!

My friend had a pretty nasty break-up. She was staying with me while her boyfriend was taking a road trip with his guy friend. They had been keeping in regular contact via facebook. One nite he posts a comment that he is going "cougar hunting". Needless to say, my friend was very upset and called him on it. The jerk-off actually had the nerve to tell her that all he meant by that was that he and his friend were "driving thru the mountains". Of course she didn't believe him, and he really tried to go out of his way to convince her otherwise. Then the very next morning when she got up and checked her facebook account, he had changed his status from "in love with my aussie girlfriend" to "single". She was shocked and upset and called him again. And again he tried to tell her that he was having problems with his laptop, thats why it changed. He continued to call her @ least twice a day while he was gone for 4 more days. When he finally got home, she went over there to greet him and he brushed her off. She knew then she had been dumped. To this day, she still don't know why he was playing games and calling her even though he clearly had decided he wasn't going to be with her anymore.

Ash

July 26, 2015 @ (manila)

Tags: Sad breakup

i met a man that i fall inlove with. But he's always been a player and a womaniser. He hurt me emotionally many times since the beginning. But i still keep believing on him though i have so many doubts. He cheated on me so i decided to break up with him and i never contact him again since we were on long distance relationship at that moment. Every after a week i will receive a message from saying he made a big mistake and he hopes to see me again. Apologising but still i didnt accept him for almost 10 months. All this time im still inlove with him and i really dont know why. I always wish to see him again and be with him. One day he miscalled me and we started talking again. He came to see me right away to make things right, thats what he said. It was good, we were very happy together. Now he have to leave again for few months for work, back to long distance relationship again. I always worry about it coz i know its possible for him to do the same thing he did to me before. He knows how much i wanted him so he took it for granted. Well i found out again that he's entertaining someone other than me, and he's been lying to me all the time. Though he always tell me about being serious about me and promising that someday we will be together marrying me and have kids, everything which is really good to hear. When i found out about the other girl, he goes defensive and everything was messed up. So we decided again to finish the relationship, i dont know why he's the one who gets mad after i found out about what he did. Telling me that i should've not talk to the girl and ask questions about what is going on between them since the girl told me that she's his girlfriend and been talkimg for 2 months already. My ex now tries to make up things about what is really going on. I hate the fact that im so inlove with him that i let him broke my heart into so many pieces. I wanted to forget him.

Confused Again..

July 28, 2012 @ (wv)

Tags: cheating, confused

Well, followed some advice from my last post on here, telling me to move on from my ex. I finally started dating someone else, only for her to try to push th relationship far too quickly. So that ended poorly. After a week after we broke up i decided to give her another chance, this time in a matter of a month she started cheating on me. So now i'm wary as to even date anyone anymore. Any advice from anyone on getting back up on my feet for a third time? Btw, it's not easy for me to find a girl that is willing to date me because, according to some, i'm too "nice" of a person...

Bobby

November 01, 2015 @ (Toronto)

Tags: Tragic Love story

So I can't believe I'm doing this. Maybe some therapy so that I don't lose my head.

When I was about 12 or 13 I woke up from a horrible nightmare that wasn't easy to understand or describe. I was in a sweat and could hardly breath. The only way I could put into words to my parents was that it felt like I had a 10 million dollar ticket and watched the wind blow it from my hand and was gone forever. I feel now that this was a premonition for things to come. Almost like an intense ripple felt through time.

Flash forward 13 years, I'm 25 and I see the most beautiful girl sitting in the lunch room at work. Keep in mind that I'm a very shy type and for just once in my life I through caution to the wind. I had to talk with this girl she was a dream. I think from that point we talked on the phone every night, we had incredible adventures through conversation I felt like I had met my soulmate. Also we had an incredible physical chemistry. Late nights in my parents basement by the fire and nothing else mattered...the body heat and passion was intense, 2 souls coming together and best of all talking about life into the early morning hours. I was a struggling artist you see, working evenings at the shop and trying to make my dreams come true during the days. She didn't seem to care, we were lost in our own little world.

1 year turned into 2, and 2 into 3...and I never lost the passion, every day seeing her was like Christmas eve. Around that time she was finishing school and I was away in Europe doing fashion modelling. God she hated me doing that, being around other women but she had nothing to fear. She was my everything, my whole world and I was just trying to find a way to make life work with the struggles of being an artist.

Years passed and the modelling did not yield the money I had hoped. The girl I loved was growing up, she graduated school and was just offered her first grown up job. At the time I was starting my software company, god damn I wish some days that I could just put on a suit and tie. She was doing great and I can say that I just was not at my best...that's when I'm sure thoughts of children and a white picket fence crossed her mind. From every day after that she grew more distant. It's a horrible feeling of helplessness. Like sand sifting through your fingers.

It's been about 3 years (I think) since we broke up. She has since moved on and met someone else. I was really angry when I first found out, but I'm just not convinced that she would have the life she wants if we were still together. I'm married to my work and she deserves better.

The saddest part of the story? I'm sitting here telling it to you over the internet. I've dated other women, but I just can't stop being in love with another. These relationships fail because I have to end them, it's just not fair for the other individual. Never in my life have I been wounded like this, and the years haven't healed a thing.

It's unbearable dealing with all the pain and anger, but deep down knowing that the woman I love more than anything else in the world would be better off without me....

Loz

November 07, 2016 @ (A place)

Tags: bad breakup, cheating, deserve better, sad

I met this guy three years ago through friends and it seemed to go really well. We were both in high school and the first year was lovely with us going on adventures and going on dates. However, during the first year of college, he turned incredibly immature (he had failed his GCSE's and I had just started A Levels), stopped making an effort with me and there were rumours he had cheated on me. We broke up for 2 weeks but I was stupid to take him back after he begged me that he missed me.
The next two years sucked. I would put in all of the effort into the relationship whilst he spent all of his money on cigarettes and spent his time playing video games. I felt trapped and lonely.
Recently I started university and he is still stuck at college. As all of his decent friends are at university or working, he started to become friends with some very dodgy people (known to do drugs and commit crimes). He started to get close with a lot of girls and it became obvious he was cheating on me when he suggested we go on a break. I ended it after receiving a text from him saying he was sleeping with another girl and yesterday we gave each others things back (three years worth of his things given back to him in two bin bags). He had hickeys all over his neck and random girls kept calling him whilst he was saying we should remain friends.
I know I deserve a lot better than him and I'm going to try and focus on my degree and find someone who will make an effort with me. It's just that it is hard to move on from three years of confusion, bittersweet memories and him in my life.

Laura

May 10, 2012 @ (Missouri)

Tags: Heartbreak

I started dating this guy about a year and a half ago. We were absolute BEST friends through high school, and going into a relationship seemed like the most natural, easy thing to do.
We're both Christians and agreed to make God the center of our relationship. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, was like a movie moment. We danced together, laughed together, we even sat and watched the sunset together (yes, cheesy..I know.) I got used to him being by my side all of the time. I depended on him. He was there for me through the ups and downs, and we supported each other through every decision.
He's a football player, and I went to every game I could. We were always at the others' house and his family was like my second family. People referred to us as "Mark and Laura", not just as "mark" or "laura" individually.
People, including myself, always just assumed we'd last forever. I mean, great clean Christian relationship for a year and a half after being best friends throughout high school. What could go wrong?

Last week, out of the blue, he told me that we needed time apart. He explained that he still cared for me, but didn't want a relationship at the moment. I tried being strong in front of him, but went home and bawled. He has hardly spoken to me since then, and he's been talking to his ex (who I've always been jealous of) recently and I literally feel sick to my stomach. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I just constantly ache. All it takes is hearing his name and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. ....Advice, please?