
Tags: #badbreakup #lessonslearned
We were together 18 months. In the final months she said she worried I wasn’t earning enough and doubted our ‘compatibility’ with contradictory reasons, yet would reject my suggestions to break-up (I always had to be the one to bring it up). When we eventually did it was hard, but I couldn’t take the uncertainty.
Afterwards it felt like we hadn’t broken up, talking as normal. She told me she still loved me and was upset. Her birthday was coming up and she was working nights that weekend, so I thought I would deliver her presents/belongings on one of the nights. But she wanted to see me, and said she’d been struggling after the break-up, so I agreed to come after Monday lunchtime following her final night shift.
When I arrived she came out her bedroom naked, claiming we hadn’t confirmed I was coming round (she sent an odd text that morning asking what I was up to that day, to which I replied to confirm/remind, and tried to ring four times). She grabbed a dressing gown and opened her presents. I sensed awkwardness and then it clicked; there was a guy in her bed.
I felt sick and humiliated. She said he was a locum she’d met at work over the weekend, it hadn’t meant anything, etc. I said I wanted answers/closure to move on (this upset her, yet I’d found her moving on!). She even blamed me for turning up. The next day she became remorseful and wanted to talk in person, but I wanted immediate answers – it had been an unnecessary and horrible thing to do.
A week later she called me and I apologised for how I’d reacted, even though I’d suffered a trauma! She wouldn’t discuss what happened, distressed at the slightest mention. She’d flipped the situation and gone back to claiming I was in the wrong. At the end we agreed we would meet to exchange stuff. That was the last time we spoke; 8 weeks later she just ignored me and mailed my stuff without any words.
The lesson here is that there is no such thing as a good break-up. I thought I was having one, and then she had other ideas. So, when you break-up with someone, do just that – cut contact and stay away. And speak to people (friends, parents, counsellor, etc.) – they will stop you from making things worse.
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Tags: failed engagement
I was dating this guy for about a year. I wasnt really into the relationship toward the end as much as he was. I was working full time and going to grad. school, so my schedule was really hectic and I didnt have much time to see him. I had tried to break up with him a couple of times, but he had always talked his way back into the "relationship". I thought the best way to break up was to start seeing someone else. He would get pissed and leave...we'll he got pissed but didnt leave. The next night (after he found out) he said that we needed to talk. I was almost excited because i figured he was going to break it off. I went over to his apartment after class. I walk into a candlelit dinner set up with romantic music playing. He walks out all dressed up and says "the past is the past. I want our future to start today" drops to one knee and pulls out a gorgeous Tiffany's ring. I start crying fully aware that I am a horrible person. He takes that as a yes and starts to put the ring on my finger. I had to jerk back, say how sorry I was and walked out of the apartment. The worst part was that his mother called me for 2 weeks straight telling me how awful I was and that I am going to end up alone.
Tags: Hurtful breakup
I met this guy on a site called meetme.com. we talked for about two weeks before meeting. We hit it off and began seeing eachother. Well about 3 weeks ago (early June 2017) we go on a long road trip and he brings up that he not only wants us to keep saying but he wants us to be exclusive. This made me very happy. I was shocked by this because most times it's the girl that brings this stuff up. So after we became exclusive, I noticed that he didn't want me around that much. He kept saying he was meeting his "buddies to hang out. Well on a Saturday, he asked me to come over after I got off work. I went over and we snuggled up in bed and talked for a while. I went to get me a drink at the gas station and got him an energy drink. I return, not gone 30 min, and he says his boss came by and wants him to go help him with some stuff. He then says he has plans to go see a "buddy in kansas. I was upset that I couldn't spend time with him. He told me I could stay at his place and help myself to what ever. He leaves. He texts me while he's gone asking how I'm doing and such. Then around 6p he texts me and says "you need to leave. My landlady is coming by." I told him I would stay to let her in. He says nothing. I knew in my guy what was up. So I put his dog in the kennel and leave. I let him know I'm gone and his all sweet to me about it. He promises to come by my place later. Of course he doesn't because a "buddy" needs a place to stay because his power went out. He calls me and talks all sweet. I still knew in my gut... the next day I get up and drive by his place...there was the car of another female. I go home, highly upset and text him about how he made me feel knowing he was cheating and why would he bother telling me he wants to be exclusive when he had no intention to do it himself. He never said a word. I've logged into the site I've met him at and he's still logging on. I guess it's true, leopard never changes his spots. He did all of this knowing I was still mourning the loss of my mom, who passed in January. I talked to him about her and everythng. And he still chose to hurt me like this.
Tags: painful
My history start when i left my back home to came and study in Canada. That was the first time when i was about to start living on my own. I didn't have any acquaintances in this unknown country. Luckily when i cam here i got a guy from the same nationality of mine who has been here for a very long time and was very helpful. He was a married guy yet he was so very helpful and all i was thinking was that his wife was aware that he was helping a girl who just moved in this country. Gradually we became friend and he did a lot for me but innocent as i was i never realized that behind this help of his was a different mind. he came to narrate to me how his wife and how their relationship doesn't work though living under the same roof and in doing he gain my pity and he gradually manipulated me in such a way that he made me felt in love with him and gradually forced me for sex when i mentioned to him no i want to loose my virginity for the one i get married. While being in this relationship he mentioned about his exes and he mentioned about one who still keep in touch as friend. I was like friend okay that's fine but each time he was taking me out or something he was always texting but i never realized that he would be texting her that much. he even took me to buy gifts and out of the blue he got her a gift as well and told me as a friend i was like okay when one day lying next to me i saw a text with the girl saying i love you and i miss you and i asked what was that and he said she still says so what can i do. After that his behaviour changed with me, he stopped texting or calling me and this was bothering so much that i had to ask what was happening and on the day of my exam he told we can't continue. i broke up and was so depressed but its after only that i came to know the reason was that he went back to her. After a couple of months he came back to me saying sorry and we started talking and my mistake was that i forgave him and accepted him again and after couple months he did the same thing he went back to her. I really cannot move on it been dragging for so long that i have been trying to move and thought we don't have anything to do together i keep sending him text each time he is online i tell me he is texting her or if his car isn't here i will say you meeting her and i kept asking why you did this and that and i can't stop monitoring him. i am fed up with my life.
Tags: break up, cheating, lies, sad, heart broken, broken, depressed
In December of 2009, I started dating this guy. I was really in love with him, and I thought he loved me, too. At the end of the month, I found out he'd been cheating on me with some girl he met online. I decided to give him another chance because he had begged me, and I loved him. So, he tells me he's still cheating, and that he's sorry. I know it's stupid of me, but I gave him ANOTHER chance.
In March, right before my spring break, he tells me that he doesn't love me anymore and that I'm taking all his friends out of his life. I only said I was jealous because he was sleeping in the same bed as his ex girl friend who has a crush on him. (They weren't having sex.) I asked him to stop over a text message and he texted back saying he didn't love me anymore and that he was speaking from his heart.
While I was on vacation over spring break, I met a guy on YouTube, and we exchanged AIMs. On the last day of my vacation, this guy tells me that he's really my ex boyfriend and that he really still loves me, but he doesn't want to get back together.
We stayed apart for a few days after I returned from my vacation, and then he asked me out again. I said yes, because... I have quite the weak spot for him. He promises he loves me and I'm sure he's not cheating anymore, but the fact that he put me through that makes me cry all the time.
Tags: Long Term Breakup
I met a cousin sister in 1992. She stated that she felt so close to me. She asked me to write letters to her. She later got married and her husband wrote a letter with her. I sent one final letter and it was not answered. I sent a Christmas card. In 1995, she gave a phone call to speak to her parents and sibling. Her sister told her that I was there and handed the phone to me to speak. My cousin sister hung up on me. Her mother claimed that she called back to say that I was invited. My mother told me that this was lie. In 1994, my father visited India and told his brother that I was expecting a letter form her. There was no answer. When I visited India, her father claimed that my cousin sister was there the day before and her mother claimed that this person was interested in seeing and was looking for days off from her teaching job to be with me. My mother told me not to believe this. The next year, I went to India again to get married. I was thinking of contacting her. My mother pointed out that there was no need to contact someone who hung up me. My mother told me that the sister could easily call me if she wanted to. As my relatives kept talking about her, I could not get her out of my mind because I had a feeling that she was in neighboring state. When my parents drove me through the streets, I looked at different houses, wondering irrationally if my cousin sister was somewhere in one of those. I talked to myself angrily since my parents would not allow me to visit her. My dad would constantly break down the bathroom door to try to stop my habit. My dad would talk about how I would feel better after I got married. The reality is that I still miss the chemistry of the previous relationship. My wife listens but does not have much to say to me. On an average day, my son and daughter say nothing to me. My children act as if my dad is the dad instead of me. It have not seen any of my relatives since 1998. I do not understand why people are so upset about Trump's travel ban when I have been banned by my own parents from seeing my own relatives in my native country. I see my cousin sister in my dreams. I had a feeling that I would see her after my parents die. Now there is a feeling that I will die before them. I have not been allowed by them to leave the state of NY for the past 20 years. Even though I have a driver's license, I am no longer allowed to drive the family car. I have to accept the fact that I may never see my relatives ever again.
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Tags: funny breakup, breakup
Okay so I was with my boyfriend for not that long, And I have to say when I broke up with him it was the best decision in my life! He was a 10th grader and I was in 11th grade but we had the same age and he was older than me but I skipped a grade. We talked for 4 months and we started a new year in school he finally asked me out. After 3 days of dating he told me he 'loved' me. I was shocked because it was to early to love someone. He never took me out in a date, he never wanted to hang out, only at school might I add AND we talked for 1 or 2 a day. I was miserable. I hated being with him, we was so immature and so cocky for his own good. When we on break I asked to hang out and he told me no because we were only to hang out at school.. After our 1 month (we were on break) he told me he loved me again and got pissed when I didn't say it back. We then got into an argument and he told me that I was using him and a bunch load of crap just because I didn't say 'I love you' back. It was to early to say it and 'love' to me is a special word. So then a week later (still on break) I told him to stop talking s*xual to me because I didn't like it and it made me feel uncomfortable. He got mad at me again saying our conversations were boring so thats why he talked 'dirty' to me! I told him why he never asked about my day, how I was and why couldn't we talk normal. Then we got into another conversation *WARNING* He told me the stupidest sh*t ever... He blamed me that he was failing because of me! (Mind you we have been dating a month almost 2) He said that his parents got pissed at him because his grades and he said I was the reason because of it. We NEVER hanged out, We talked for 1 HOUR OR 2 a day. So how his grades were falling I DONT KNOW!. I told him that it wasn't my fault it was his because he had no reason what so ever to tell me the cra*p. A few days he started talking about marriage, I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the subject since hence our situation and that we weren't dating that long to talk about that and I told him longer people have been dating longer to talk about it. He then asked me which couples *face palm* I then told him the couples who have dated 1 years. He got mad and that's when I had it. I broke up with him and I feel like the chains were lifted off my ankles and my wings were spread and I could be free once again. Now he wants to get back together but no way am I going back to h*ll.
Tags: breakup
I met him online. He was different than my abusive ex-husband or any of the other pigs I had "dated" after ending it with my ex-husband. He seemed stable and career driven. We were inseparable yet we made a long distance relationship work for 3 yrs. He would come and see me every weekend. It felt normal. No arguing, no stress.I thought it was how a relationship was supposed to be. He got out of the military and moved in with me. We talked about a future but not in this way, not this soon. He had a hard time finding work and I found myself taking care of him financially and emotionally. He became like a 4th child. Things changed between us but not in a drastic way. He was married when I met him. He was going through a divorce but not on his own accord. Deep down inside, he did not want the divorce from his wife even though she did. He secretly took care of her even though he had no money to take care of himself. He continued to lie to me for years about his intentions with getting a divorce and every lie seemed believable. I held on because he was living with me and giving me more than he gave her. After 4 yrs of no divorce and no real commitment (Ring), I started to raise questions. He became nervous and fearful of losing what we had. He did the stupidest thing that sent our relationship spiraling. He proposed to me with a fake ring and lied to me about the value of the ring. His intentions may have been pure but his motives were not. He was fearful that I would ask him to move out and he had to do something to secure his spot in my home. It was only a matter of time (1 day) that I realized the ring was fake. He still lied about it. The lies continued for months about anything and everything to include the divorce that he "supposedly filed" but never did. Each lie drove me further away from him until it came to the point that I asked him to move out. It was a hard step for me because although I did not enjoy the lies, I enjoyed the companionship when I wanted/needed it and I enjoyed the security that he offered. He moved out with hopes that we would be back together. After he moved out, I realized how much I did not miss the lies and the stupidity he brought into my life. I realized we were not the perfect match that I thought we were. We still keep in touch but he thinks there is hope for us and there isn't. I have closed that chapter in my life ( I think anyways).
Tags: bad break up
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