You Broke Up How?

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

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Rachael

January 11, 2016 @ (minnesota)

Tags: still love you but im being strong bad break up

me and my boyfriend breaking up is one of the worst thing my heart is completely broken. the break up took a lot from me. It took my bestfriend but it also took our late night calls just to hear each others voice because we could not sleep without hearing each other say "i love you" it took us falling asleep on facetime but he would sit their and watch me sleep because he would swear that would give him peace. it took me staring into those brown eyes that would make me fall in love and us just staring at each othe and your eyes getting watery because you were so happy you could call m yours. me laying in your arms and making me feel at home. t took away how i would shake after kissing you. the way muy hnd would fit into yours like the were a missing puzzle piece.it took away my frst true love and the boy that was always their for me. but let me tell you what this break up did not take: The ability for my love to keep growing for you my sweet boy, miss you forever

Will

October 13, 2009 @ (Boston)

Tags: Online whale

I started an online relationship with this women from Canada. After several months of talking online and on the phone she suggested we meet and arranged for me to come visit her. She paid my whole way there. When I finally got there I discovered she had greatly exaggerated her appearance(by a good 100lbs) and that she lived with her family in a small apartment. After suffering threw sex with the whale for a week(with her creepy brother listening in) I finally got out of there and home trying to figure out how to break this off. 1 week later she gave me the perfect out, a ridiculous ultimatum. There is this game I like to play that she doesn't, she thought I was addicted and told me "It's me or the game" I happily said the game and cut off all ties with her

Jen

May 30, 2015 @ (US)

Tags: Bad break up Sad Break up

Moving to a new school, I didn't know anyone except for a few people. At first I was being bullied for being different, (And for being the new kid). Fast forward. It was the last class of the day and I saw a guy. Let's call him.. Kevin. Well, I thought he was cute and so for a few weeks we started chatting online. Then he finally asked me out. I was so happy, but everyone told me that he was a liar, a cheater, etc. I didn't listen (Because 'liking someone a lot' makes people stupid)
We had a lot of things in common. We had never-ending conversations, I thought we were the perfect couple.
Just then, the 2nd week we were dating, he tells me the news that his mom found out about our relationship.
He told me that his mom was forcing him to break up with me.
I cried... for what seemed like days, even had mental breakdowns in class..
Then I just think,
"Why didn't he fight for me? We could still be together when we're at school. Please don't tell me this is real."
FAST FORWARD even more...
I found out that he lied, he lied about everything. And I finally realized, he was a lying cheating motherfluffer.
Few days later, he dates my friend.
Broke up with her.
Dates my other friend.
We don't talk, to this day.
( He still attempted to flirt with me after we broke up BTW )
Kevin is lame. -.-

Brenna

May 18, 2010 @ (Michigan)

Tags: break up, cheating, lies, sad, heart broken, broken, depressed

In December of 2009, I started dating this guy. I was really in love with him, and I thought he loved me, too. At the end of the month, I found out he'd been cheating on me with some girl he met online. I decided to give him another chance because he had begged me, and I loved him. So, he tells me he's still cheating, and that he's sorry. I know it's stupid of me, but I gave him ANOTHER chance.

In March, right before my spring break, he tells me that he doesn't love me anymore and that I'm taking all his friends out of his life. I only said I was jealous because he was sleeping in the same bed as his ex girl friend who has a crush on him. (They weren't having sex.) I asked him to stop over a text message and he texted back saying he didn't love me anymore and that he was speaking from his heart.

While I was on vacation over spring break, I met a guy on YouTube, and we exchanged AIMs. On the last day of my vacation, this guy tells me that he's really my ex boyfriend and that he really still loves me, but he doesn't want to get back together.

We stayed apart for a few days after I returned from my vacation, and then he asked me out again. I said yes, because... I have quite the weak spot for him. He promises he loves me and I'm sure he's not cheating anymore, but the fact that he put me through that makes me cry all the time.

Noname

October 03, 2016 @ (india)

Tags: bad

I met her last month through instagram we had lot of fun together we talked and laughed. She was really something to me i knew that she felt the same to me, But we didn't had a phone call yet just because i was not comfortable or prepared to talk her i need time.Then she said it's okay you can take your time and call me!!!!!!!
You know guys, Everything happens just because a phone call!!!
I took more time to call her and i didn't do that yet.
Yesterday she asked me to call her and talk to her she can't wait anymore its like so hard to love someone who are not comfortable with talk over phone, and i said give me some more time and i am gonna call you today, it was over my head i felt so obsessed and i was like pressuried to talk her bocause it was my very first time to gonna talk someone like this, but she didnt get that, anyway i dont wanna blame her everybody have their own feelings i need to consider her feelings too,
She said i was like, make her an idiot.
and i said i am gonna call you now she said she dont want to talk to me anymore she pissed off!! if i call her she will fight me and be rude. After a long converstaion she said goodbye!!
Fuck***
I dont know what to say
She really need to say goodbye to me??
Yeah!! she really need that, i can understand her feelings...
Everything gonna endup!!
Just because of my stupidity
I am a big fool in this world
I really dont need her to say goodbye
But everything has already ended up!!
Fine!
Coool!!
I am fucked up!!
If i hurt you please dont despise me!!
I still need you happy!!
Stil i can love you!!
I dont know what the fuck*** am i!!!

Sugar Is Sweet

December 08, 2011 @ (Sunshine State)

Tags: Lonely,

My boyfriend and I dated for over a year and a half.

He cooked for us, was very sweet, obviously cared for me a lot. Always did little things to make me happy.

He didn't talk very well, I would ask him questions, tried to use positive reinforcement to get him to talk about his feelings. Cause I think that's important.

I analyze everything, he tends to not think about it.

I wanted to have sex more, his libido wasn't as strong as mine.

I wanted to hang out with my family, he never felt like it.

I wanted to spend more time together, it never seemed to work out.

There were things I could have worked on, too. But by the end of our relationship, even when we were together, I felt terribly alone.

I miss his touch, his kisses, his sweet words. I miss almost everything that reminds me of him, I miss him with everything I have.

But I know I made the right decision. Goodbye, love.

Megan

June 26, 2012 @ (Denver)

Tags: Isaac, caroline, me, isaacs parents

we were in 2nd grade when it all started- instantly he saw me and felt the need to protect me ( yeah I know puppy love) I dont know why but that day he asked me to be his girl I said yes, but then on the playground when we were playing star wars something clicked! I dont wanna date yet. I mean i was only 6 1/2 going on 7 ( I was a little behind) this whole thing went on until about 5th grade when we werw getting curious and getting the talk and that he took a shot again at it (he also tries in 3rd... and 4th :D lol.) I said yes and he was acctually a good Bf he gave me suckers from the sales and we even danced together in the 5th grade show (yeah i know- peachy. but i stepped on his foot alot...) He was acting weird, not answering my emails, I saw it coming and was prepared- BUT what he did I was unprepared for!! He finally emailed me that "my parents say we cant date anymore.. :(" I of course thought something was fishy and knew what it was before I even clicked out of that message- his parents wouldnt do that! They were totally happy for us and acctually cool with like everything so i replied with "um... No... they were happy for us. Oh my gosh what is up with YOU?" I sort it out through my head and start crying but am stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes scan at the message he just sent. I couldnt believe it! he had typed "I like someone else, Ok?" I instantly insist that he tells me who it is. im shocked but who he says. Caroline- one of my bestfriends!! he then says "my dad told me to lie to you." I reply with "thx." his words pierce through me "shut up and get over it you *itch!" I am tooken back. how dare he but heres the worst part, then he said "ill use a condom," that was way to far and made me want to kick his ass- that little PERV heck I bet he dont even got equiptment. Now im going into 6th grade and if he messes with me again he will hear from my brother.

Robert

October 14, 2009 @ (Ohio)

Tags: ohio

This is how we broke up. she says "You can't leave me, or i'll kill myself". Now note: this girl is a drama queen to the core. my reply: "Well, I hope you've enjoyed your ride."

Bertha

March 15, 2012 @ (Derbyshire)

Tags: Mark

I used to date a guy four years ago who I really liked and who supposedly liked me.. We were together from May till September, it was a Summer thing.. his friends were jealous because he would spend all his time with me and abandoned them, and when they saw me they would taunt me and verbally abuse me. At first I didn't take any notice of them but one day when I was walking home from work these 2 boys started following me and throwing stones at me and saying that I was so fat that I looked like an 'Atomic bomb'. I confronted Mark and told him that this had to stop or I would leave him as this really affected my self esteem.

After a while things started to calm down and I thought things were going back to normal, only Mark started spending less time with me as he claimed to have football practice. Then one day we were meant to go out but he said that he had to go to practice so I met up with my friends instead. As I was waiting for my friend to pick me up I saw him making out with a girl IN FRONT OF MY OWN HOUSE. I mean he obviously didn't know how to tell me that our relationship was over and done with so decided that the best way to do it was to show me that he was cheating on me. The loser.

I was really really hurt and didn't enjoy most of the night. On the way back home I took the bus and he happens to be there with the new 'girlfriend'. My really close friend was drunk and kissed me on the lips and Mark saw everything so at least I got my revenge on Mark.

I occasionally see Mark and I just say hi and bye but I've heard that he's really screwed up and recently broke up with his girlfriend at a party and went out with another girl on the same night infront of her. Classy!

In other words, I'm so grateful that I'm not with the loser anymore!