You Broke Up How?

Dislike Chandra

November 05, 2012 @ (Duluth, MN)

Tags: Break up story

When you told me you had found someone, I was worried. I thought there wasn’t possibly a way you cheated on me because I knew you. I trusted you. You weren’t that person. You said you hadn’t started dating her yet and that you were “just friends” but that you’d spent the night at her apartment on her couch a few times, that you’d gone out for drinks, etc. I digested this news. You had found someone else. I begged, I cried, I starved myself for several weeks – because I couldn’t understand how you, someone who I thought to be a good person, could have cheated on me.

I read her Facebook updates and it appeared that you had been dating since April, going on little vacation trips together, meeting her family, etc., all the while you were still dating me. You used my car to visit her, to bring her to work, and to take trips out in the country with her. When I was extremely ill, you claimed you were at a cabin with your parents and elderly grandmother, so I would have to take an ambulance. Turns out you were with her in the country, with my car.

You didn’t even come clean with me, I had asked for honesty. Please just tell me how long you’d been dating, what had gone on behind my back, etc. I felt made a fool of and humiliated. I was embarrassed that I defended you when you were “at a friends house” (turns out you were spending the night with her), or when you were hours late coming home from work, I figured you stopped to hang out with a friend – turns out I was completely over-trusting.

When I found out the truths splattered all over her Facebook, knowing that she had been married and her ex-husband had cheated on her and caused the end of the marriage less than a year before you two started dating, I was angry. How can another woman agree to date a man and put another lady in the same position she herself was in? She knew how this kind of betrayal hurt.

There was a time after the cheating when you made me feel like the cheating was entirely my fault and that if I tried to change some things about my behaviors and my income situation, you’d still date me. You claimed you wanted to be friends. You cried like a baby several times. You insisted that you didn’t hate me.

I moved out. We broke up. Things were spiraling out of control – and there you were being cruel to me any chance you got. I ran into you and your new “fiancé” (you got engaged after four months of dating, all of which were done when you were cheating on me, really), and instead of showing some respect for me being in the same vicinity as you two – you made out the entire night for hours on end in front of my friends and me! Talk about disrespectful.

You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate you. You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate her? You wanted me to play nicely and be kind. I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve met someone I can trust and depend on. We bonded over the horrible things you did to me, how low you were as a person, and we laugh at you. I’m glad we’re able to be together – but I’m still angry at you for NOT apologizing for the kinds of cruel things you did to me.

I’d be ashamed for your mother and father that they raised such a horrific human. You lied to your parents while you were cheating, you didn’t even invite them to your wedding – because you’ve changed. You’ve become the most evil person I’ve ever known, and it’s sad – because you use to be a good person.

I’d like to say I wish you health and happiness, but I wish almost every ill the world can throw at you. Every impossible situation where you’ll find pain, I wish that for you. I hope one day karma throws you several things at one time and you can feel what it feels like to not have a choice in a situation, to be made a fool of, and to hurt.

I know in my heart, you will cheat on her. Once she doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Once she gets too busy working and being a mother, she’ll forget to give you the insane amount of attention you require and you’ll do horrible things to her like you’ve done to me. The only difference is, she’ll deserve it.

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Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT


I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Danielle

March 31, 2011 @ (Chicago)

Tags: breakup, first, relationship, heartbroken

My boyfriend and I were together for just over two years. It was the first serious relationship either of us had been in, and we were in love. He fought hard to win me over, and he made me feel more special than I have ever felt in my life. He was my world. I trusted him completely and never in my wildest dreams imagined that he could break my heart.

During the last few months of our relationship, I felt a subtle shift. It was nothing to raise any alarms, but I definitely noticed it. I realized that I was usually the one to initiate affection, or to plan an outing, or even to call. He was still kind and loving, but it felt as though his passion had faded.

I confronted him about it. I asked him if he was still in love with me. The moment I said it, I regretted it. He suddenly looked very confused, and the second he began talking I knew I had opened Pandora's Box. With a pained look in his eyes, he told me he wasn't sure anymore -- that our relationship had become "comfortable." He said he needed time to think.

After a week without contact, he he came over to my apartment. I felt optimistic; I was convinced that we would just end up having a serious talk addressing the inevitable loss of the puppy love stage in our relationship. I was wrong. He told me that he was no longer in love with me, that he no longer wanted to be my boyfriend, but he couldn't imagine losing me as a friend. In that moment I felt my world collapse. I pleaded with him to reconsider, I begged him to stay. Nothing I said had any effect, and he left my place in tears.

It's been six months since I've seen him, and my heart is still in pieces. Our parting was so sudden, I still feel like I'm in shock. After a few months of trying to remain his friend, I quit. The pain of being platonic was too great for me, and my pain was too great for him. Now I'm too scared to reach out to him again for fear of the pain that comes with knowing you've been replaced. All I want is to be back in his arms, but he's let me go and hasn't looked back.

Patricia

October 25, 2016 @ (1311 willingham drive)

Tags: bad, upsetting

so me and him kinda was dating..rn im in pain im more depressed then before...so freshmen year i started liking him never talked to him till my 10th gr year which is rn im a 10th grader and he is a senior..so he talked to me thats how it started we got to know each other more and more and then we started with kissing each other hugging holding hands taking pictures together matching etc...he would write me these love letters i still got them although wen i reread them im always breaking down into tears...he asked me to homecoming we went we had a whole argument he was being mean and i was acting up bcus i started feeling depressed i didnt tell him bcus i didnt wanna ruin our special night but he even told me i did ruin it and i was sorry for being a bitch to him bcus of my depression.so we talked still we werent official even tho i had been wanting to b with him since last year..we had our first slow dance and my god i sung to him it was real special to me i was really happy..he made me real happy he made me feel special and i loved his personality and i started falling for him...i fell so hard that i considered him as my bf to my friends and me and him laughed and did lots together he would give me piggy ride backs and hickies and every time we met after every class and wallked each other to class and i appreciated him i gave him my devotion i gave him everything i had i did everything for him i did what i could to make him happy and i gave him all my support i motivated him to b a better person to do good in skool and b someone in life i believed in him.ppl kept telling me shit about him i didnt wanna believe them bcus i trusted him but all this time he was stabbing me on the bac and did hurtful shit to me it hurt me but i still stayed with him i stayed after he had hurt me i kept forgiving him time after time he kept fucking up and he promised he wasnt gunna fuc up and he did multiple times and i forgave him all the time..then he was telling me he loved me and shit and how he missed me and that he was loyal to me wen wasnt he was having me looking stupid out here wen i was defendin him and believing all his lies..

Alanna

June 01, 2010 @ (somewhere in hell )

Tags: My story lol is one undeserved nightmare

last night he lied to me stayed out all night cause no curfew n the night it was changed he rather hang out with local lowermainland surrey hookers and he ignored me he truly is a peice of shit he was always mean to me cheated on me lets guys take advantage of me tell them that i think hes my bf n so ive had some creepy creepers pull their gross baby dicks n say its ok n what MY ex bf said about being with other girls and how he hangs out with them all the time but theyre all nasty n sell themselves thats low and gross and i dont do that lifestyle he scams ppl n lies to his mom n steals from her and i paid for this month then im gone but its not that sad i guess its all for the best its over alanna ive had a bad life n alot of pain n he knew it all he doesnt remeber anything about me or us or anythin,its hard to explain how bad i let this shit continue on its kinda sad but its sad that he wants to be with that lol its funny as well lol cause im really good lookin ive tried alot of things and i knew it wasnt me and he couldnt say the truth i mean if u dont wanna be w./someone u say it n ur done but hes hateful and im warnin u girls about him hell probly lie and tell u fake info about his name n shiz or drug u up so he make mula postin pics n lettin ppl watch him fuck nasty hookers w two more old men who are junkys and trash n have hores all the time like non stop im single now and i dont wanna go out with anyone i jus wanna be me lol n honestly he can kiss my sexy ass goodbye hes borin in bed fucks like a retard
this has been hard i broke up with him cause he came to me cryin cause he got awwwwwested n had to stay clean in jail for two days lol so i deleted my email from his account cause he wanted me to change his pw and i saw his gfs emails other lady friends like fuck u he thinks im stupid ...but i sent him an email or two n it wasnt bad its jus get the hell away from me buddday seriously were on a different levels and hell never change

D

August 24, 2015 @ (India)

Tags: So sorry!

We were close friends... but eventually friendship turned to love..he loved me soo much..so did I ..after school we got together.. we met once every month, spoke every day...he sent me his pics.. everything was perfect...until now..just a few weeks back in july 2015... i sent him a collage with our pics and a message..after that i was having my important university examination ( Medicine) so i could not call or text him much..but still i felt that he was avoiding me.. in the midst i tried texting and calling him a zillion times... he never answered my calls..neither did he respond to my text messages... but i was not ready to believe that he would cheat on me... i contacted our school friends..i mean we all were pretty close.. i told them that he was doing this..they told me that they have also stopped getting information from him.. i was alarmed.. they said don't worry and don't spoil your exams..thankfully in the midst of so much anxiety i was able to do my most important exams in life..... and he had told one of my friends who called him upon hearing my complains..the truth behind his avoidance.. but she refused to tell me.. because she was scared of me spoiling my exams..i understood that something was terribly wrong..i waited..yesterday at last my exams got over... she called me at 11:00pm... it was a conference call..three friends... she began.. i listened... his parents saw the collage... his mom cried...and stopped talking to him for two days..his dad still doesn't speak to him... he was beaten... they feel that this is not a serious relationship..and that their son is giving me false hopes..iam a doctor..he is studying for Bcom... his mom said all these.. her parents will never agree..you are playing with her feelings..you will never get settled before her..allow her to live... :'( and made him promise upon Holy Quran .. that he won't speak to me or see me again.. he has decided to lead a bachelor life... :( i cried bitterly... i was helpless..so was he... if he had cheated on me..i could at least hate him.. but we still love each other soo much and yet....i spent sleepless nights..i can't cope....we could not hear each others voices for one last time.. :( ... I don't wanna be any one else's but his... and yes,,, i will wait... i will wait for him... i won't let him go... let me ask my parents when it's time.... the rest I leave to God..... My God had never disappointed me... and I believe in him.. he won't disappoint me any further... Cuz it's our first love.. and I want it to be our first and only love..... <3

Jordyn

October 19, 2012 @ (California )

Tags: Breakup long term relationship

I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?

Seth

May 22, 2015 @ (ontario)

Tags: bad breakup, Horrible person, worst girlfriend

I had been seeing this girl for a year and she refused to keep her legs closed. no matter what I tried, I trusted her like crazy, and she continued to abuse that, first was when we were several months in she went to go hang out with a friend, when I wanted to say hi she told me off and said that the guy still thought they were together and wanted toa void a scene, still trusting her, because that is how I thought relationships worked I let her have her way. she claimed the next day that she cheated on me with him, merely saying in a weak tone "well... I didn't want too..." when I got upset she went aroundt elling everybody who would listen that I was pissed at her for being raped. having been raped myself at a young age thi would never be the case. now my trust in her is shot because I know the rape thing is a straight out lie. I started keeping an eye on her facebook and skype to spot more evidence of cheating. and she hated this and defended herself by saying her sleeping with another guy is none of my business, despite my taking her in from what she claimed was an abusive family and dating her. she cheated on me a second time with another guy and after several days of thinking I forgave her once more. several months passed (to about the year mark) and she cheats on me again with the guy that 'raped' her. this time I have had it, I told her to pack up her stuff and leave. to which she did everything she could think of to stay, blocking the guy and showing me messeges about how she is refusing sex to him now and the like, so against my better judgement I let her stay, not a week later and she cheated on me again, I have had it at this point and kicked her out on the spot. that day she tried everytrick to get me to let her stay, from appealing tot he fact I cared about her to saying I couldn't make her go back to her 'abusive' family and every other manipulative thing you can think of. When that failed she flipped the switch and started bitching about everything, making me to be the bad guy to everyone who would listen, Saying it was my fault she gained weight because I put her on a certain diet (untrue) and that I expected her to be a servant and such. in reality she got to stay with me rent free I made sure she was fed everytime I went groceries (once a month) I would ask her if there was anything she wanted and I even got her a cat that she begged me for, spending several hundred in the process. I wasn't able to hang out with friends without her getting pissed and if I tried to see a female friend she would think I was cheating. but anyways, she is packing up her things she raided my kitchen, took everything she could fit into her bag and then took all of my dishes and every piece of cutlery she could find. leaving me with 2 plates and a bowl. when I confronted her about this alls he had to say was "oh they were mine" when I told her I couldn't eat now cause I had nothing to eat with she says "oh I left a fork for you under the couch" she even refused to give me back the key to my apartment, when her mom FINALLY stepped in to make her she decided to throw it onto the lawn as opposed to hand it to my outstretched hand. 2 months later and I haven't spoken to her since.

Carly

July 08, 2011 @ (ohio)

Tags: t

me and this guy dated for 7 months, everything was near perfect, we had our ups and downs like everybody but he was the love of my life and he said i was the same for him, then one day randomly out of the blue he breaks up with me because apparently i talked about kids and marriage to much even though hes the one who always brought it up, a few days later he said it was because he just didnt love me anymore he just randomly stopped feeling like that toward me, even though he promised me forever. not only did i lose my boy friend i lost my best friend so this all kinda sicks.
p.s. i hate that i still love you T.

Jolene

January 02, 2012 @ (Aus)

Tags: 1

We weren't together long, probably only over a month and the relationship felt kind of rushed, as if everything just went way too fast. It isn't as if I regret anything about the relationship as it happened, I just think it would've turned out better if it didn't go so fast.
Anyway, all of a sudden when the holidays began we saw each other less and less. I was told that he was working too much and he was too tired to see me. When I asked about our lack of communication he said that he was just too tired and that I never really talked to him. It was frustrating and despairingly I attempted a sort of silent approach interspersed with periods of strained conversation (not face to face). I have no idea how any of this was supposed to help and so I just left it. He didn't 'have time' to see me...okay, then I'll just go on and assume that he's just not interested anymore.
So basically my breakup was a prolonged period of confusion in which the dumper let me work it out for myself that we were no longer together. Whether this method of indirect break up was an act of cowardice, laziness or (seriously misguided) kindness I don't know. We still talk occasionally through social networks and such and are supposedly 'friends' in a weird way that feels like nothing meaningful. I don't feel any resentment towards him (or try not to) because this stuff happens and people lose interest. Except I hope that when it does happen most people explain this to the persons' face and don't let them painstakingly figure it out for themselves.