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Trisha

February 29, 2012 @ (Cali)

Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight


Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.

We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.


       

Serena

February 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup


Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin! 
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I  had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually  found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily. 

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"


       

Elizabeth

February 24, 2012 @ (Evansville IN)

Tags: 1


My boyfriend of six years broke up with me valentines day. Completely outta the blue I wake up that morning to a text by him saying that he doesn't know what to tell me bout our plans for that day cause he met a girl hes ''been talking to" and she takes up all his time now and he has no use for me now. He told me get lost. It was the most brutal heartbreak I ever felt. We'd spent the three days prior to that together and talking bout what kinda things we'd like to do together in life. He'd told me we were meant for each other the very night before...and to do it on valentines day was the cruelest thing. He wouldn't answer his phone or texts that day. The next day he texted he wanted to talk and see me. I said no. Two days of continually asking me I finally agreed. He sat right in front of me at my kitchen table and told me he was confused and didn't know whAt he wanted and that the new gf wasn't even really his gf yet. He basically buttered me up with compliments and I believed him like a fool. The very next day he invited himself over started acting like a complete jerk by texting her continuously and then saying after 45 min into our dinner date that he was done and he had to take me home cause he had somewhere to. I said whats wrong with you I don't understand. He went crazy yelling and screaming for me to get the hell out of his car and that he hates me and not to invite him over again. I said are you on drugs or something cause you invited yourself. He drew his fist back at me like to punch me and I started to cry cause I'd never seen anything like this ever. He had instantly changed. He threw his coke on me as I got out the car and was pushing on me to get out making me fall. I was completely freaked out. This was not the same guy I'd Been with for the last six years of my life which now feel completely wasted. This was like something out of a scary movie. I'm completely devastated and don't know what to do or why this is happening. I think maybe he is on drugs cause I've discovered he's been taking some of my prescriptions from my purse here in the last two months. It's only thing I can think of. . I also was told by him that he'd ran his car into a ditch drunk with a few of his new friends in the car with him the night before he came over the first day we talked. He said they'd been celebrating his buddy's 21st bday and that this particular friend who I've tried to invite to do things with us and to bring along his gf, well I got told that friend doesn't like me so that's why I'm getting dumped. Please if anybody on here can possibly relate or just tell me anything,to help this terrible thing I'm going through I would very much appreciate your advice or comments. Thanks


       

Skyla

February 09, 2012 @ (miami)

Tags: example1


I met him in 7th grade. We were friends, then 8th grade came around, and we got together. We were together for 2 1/2 years when we ended. He cheated on me with another girl. He had hickeys on his neck. I was so...broken. He was my first love, my first everything, and I was so in love with him. People may say that at my age, we still don't know what love is, but, I do. I gave 2 1/2 years of my life and spent it with him. We had so many good times, but also, so many bad. He was always mean to me, calling me names, ignoring me when I was upset, and cheating on me. Hes always cheated on me since day 1. But everytime we broke up, I blamed myself. I never felt good enough for him, and I felt like maybe if I changed the way I was, he'd like me more and he'd start treating me better. But last week, he cheated again. I broke up with him, and it hasn't been easy for me. I love him so much, and I just want to know what I ever did to deserve this, why I was never enough. I want to be loved back, and appreciated. He haws new girlfriend now, and its tearing me apart. I'm so.hurt in all of this, and he doesn't care. I don't know how I'm going to get over this. And I wanna know why I want someone who doesn't want me. Its hard spending that long with someone, and then not having them at all. :/


       

Jessicaa

January 28, 2012 @ (tx)

Tags: love hurts, im sorry


It all started in 8th grade this shy quiet guy name christian was in my class he was really shy and like he would hang around my crew but wwe really didnt fuck wit him like that..I was a very loud girl very popular.. and i would always bully him because he was shy but then he starte dating this girl and they dated for a year but he was till shy.. oh yea and he was smart too.. but like a year later in my freshman my friend andrea showed him a picture of me in new years and like he saw it and he said "damn she fine" he was saying that bout me wellshe told me and i was like who is christian i already had forgot bout him till i seen him in the hall way and like i told her to tell him that he was fine theni got his number from her.. so we started txtin him and like he was the sweeetest guy in the world he cared about me even back then when we havent even had started dating like he seemed to match to the "perfect" guy every girl would like to meet.. so we started dating on 2.25.10 but we broke up like on june 30. 2010 because iwasnt sure of what i felt for him anymore... i was confused i was so used to being single and like i wanted my freedom back and i broke up with him poor him he was torn apart i broke his heart and i was his second gf. well like a month or two later we started dating again till like my "bestfriend" told him that i cheated on him and it was a total lie why would i cheat on him when he was the sweetest guy in the world the guy i loved the guy i wanted to spend the rest of my life with... well we broke up and like a month later we got together again and another "bestfriend" told him i had cheated and i dint cheat this time.. they where jus mad because of the guys they loved didnt wanna b with them anymore.. well we got back together...again.. till i forgave one of the girls that said shit to him and he got mad told me no to hangout with her or any of my other firends i said okay so i lost all my friends.. well me and this girl started being friends again and like she took me somewhere and he got mad and broke up wit me... this was 7.2.11 and like since then i would txt him nad i wouldnt get a respond soo i would one day i wanted to see if i was still important to him so i made up a lie and told him i had cancer, and i also told him i was pregnant! but he caught me in my lies and didnt wanna b wit my anymore and he dindt get the pont that i did it jus so i can be with him..he never really appreciated me he started being mean to me and like wold even put his hands on me.. but now this month he told mehe wanted to work this out we have been having sex again but after i left him get it he left me for a girl that has been tryna get wit him for about two years.. and like now im heartbroken 1/28/2012 i was so used to him :(


       

Danalle

January 23, 2012 @ (australia)

Tags: small, stuff


I got asked out. i said yes. we were happly inlove then two days later he broke up with me. :( i think its cause he found.out i had a dick....


       

Rachel

January 20, 2012 @ (Detroit)

Tags: college


Sunday was supposed to be our 5 month anniversary. Today, he blind-sided me with a phone call about how we should take a break, because he just doesn't know how he feels anymore. He was crying. He said he can't handle the distance as well as he used to when I'm away at school. But he didn't want to classify it as a break up, and he still wants me in his life... I told him to call me back in a week, once he gets himself sorted out.

It's hard to believe that just last night I was designing a Valentine's Day card for him.

I'm a freshman in college, and he was my first boyfriend. I gave him everything and we did everything together. I don't know what to do.


       

Carly*

January 17, 2012 @ (Clear Lake,Houston TX.)

Tags: Boys


I had a boyfriend who ran cross-country and I thought that was really cool. Dougan and I were all-out dating.... we held hands and gave each other hugs everyday. He was sweet, kind, funny, and strong. On January 13th he broke up with me..


       

Jess

January 16, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: phone, crazy


Me and this guy weren't exactly dating but I had to break up with him anyway. I met a guy and gave him my number. I then accidently left my phone at my friends house. My phone was there a few days. I thought I would just explain it to him, if he called or messaged me. I got my phone back and it happened to be my birthday. There were a bunch of msgs beforehand. These are the text messages that followed.
Him: Did you have some company last night? I cant be with someone who is going to play around. Not having it. So please explain....(separate msg)I thought u were different, obviously I am wrong again.
Me: I left my phone at a mate's house and got it about 12 last night. I didnt think it would have been nice of me to msg u then. But thanks, this is exactly what I wanted to wake up to on my birthday. By the way, my friend told me his dad had cancer thus why things have been hard for me to get my phone.
Him: Ok then just wanted to know. Happy birthday hunny, hope you have a great day and I hope I cans ee u soon xoxo
Me: Why the hell would u assume I had company? Why would u assume the worse of someone u barely know? I'm not your GF. My mother doesnt even speak to me like that. Why dont u explain?
Him: I know your not my gf. Ur friend texted me back off your phone (my friend had told him to stop calling because I didnt have my phone). And he said he couldn't tell me his name. If you want me to go I will.
Me: Why would my friend need to tell you his name? Why would his name matter? If u wanted an explanation you should have asked nicely. If something like this sets u off into insulting me, its really not gonna work out ever.
Him: Ok all the best...(again new message)...Ur a quitter. You'll be a lonely old woman. It sounds like you'll get what you deserve so good luck with someone that'll put up with that...Quitter....So u quit an arguement. lmfao...Its just an excuse so u can flirt with guys tonight on your birthday...classy whose place are you gonna leave your phone at this time. lmfao...get f***ed.


       

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Tags: Heartbreak, breakup


Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,


a heartbroken girl