Searching for "rough"

272 Results For 'rough'

Lonely Lifelong

April 08, 2013 @ (canada)

This guy was with me for almost a year,but it doesn't matter to me how long or short,i loved him with all my heart and thats what matters,he was my first love and i cant express how much i loved him,what didnt i do for him....but i never asked for more then his love,all i needed was his love,but maybe he never did.

i begged him,pleaded him,but he never replied for anything,sometimes i think that the time we have been togather was a lie,we were never meant to be,i cant believe he did this to me,he has made me feel like the luckiest girl,and on the top of the universe,he made me believe he loved me like anything,but he never did,i wonder how could he do this to me?my only question is why?

Now i only have one of his most beautiful memories we shared,that reminds me of the times we had,our girl baby,she is the most beautiful thing i've seen,when we brokeup i didnt knw i was pregnant,after he left me i came to know and i was really happy,i tried to contect him,but he never listened,he doesn't even know that there is a baby,he even doesn't know where we are,i don't want him to know also,he betrayed me,cheated me.

The feeling of keeping the baby inside me was the most amazing,the way it grew,every second reminded me of him,i still do want him,really badly,lastweek my girly for the first time called dada,and tears filled my eyes,she is very alike to her father,those eyes,those soft lightbrown straight hair,she is only one and half,her small feets put little steps towards me,her every thing reminds me of him,and it makes me happy too.

i wish he would be happy,successfull,and he gets the love he wants,god bless him everyway,i loved him,love him,and will go on loving him forever,now my problem is my bestfriend wants me,but i never thought about loving anyone after him,its not that i didn't try,i did,but cant,i believe its better not to love than loving someone who'll never love you back,i feel as if you love soomeone you will pay for it your lifelong......

So though i am alone,its better to be alone,and live a lonelylife,the reason i am living only is for my babydaughter,she is my life,in my every breath she exists,nothing can harm her as long as i live,i have never let her even fall simply,i've kept her in my arms and looked after her,she is the reason i am,all i am is for her,and i will never let her go through what i went,i've promised this to my self since i knew she was within me.....

i love you my darling,my baby,my girl,my only princess...

Kali

March 24, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: not understanding, sadness.

I figure typing this out would probably do good for my heart, so I have decided to tell you all about my quite recent (only a few hours ago but still had enough time to linger in my head) breakup.

This boy was literally my childhood friend. Bad idea, I know, but I digress. He meant the world to me as a kid, and we just recently re-met each other after not speaking for years. The chemistry was sorta ... instant.

However, obviously, it didn't last.
We spent the few days we were together talking, and talking, and talking. I actually felt like he really cared about me. Just the mentioning of his name made me smile and blush.

He and I had so much in common, we still do. Our religious beliefs, music, art..
I thought I had really made it good, that for once, someone would stay with me.

Obviously that couldn't happen.
I get a text late into the night - and it said it was him, and that he wanted to end our relationship because he "wasn't ready for one." Me, usually reacting quite the opposite of how I normally would've, take the passive approach toward him, saying "I'm fine, I understand."

I later on then cried, and cried, and then something quite stupid. Cut myself. I couldn't sleep, due to the pain in my legs (one of the places I had decided to cut,) and my little depression I had going on.

So to any girl, or boy, or whomever is going through a breakup, don't get to down. We're just one step closer to finding our one ticket to happiness.
Regardless as to however they broke up with you, it happened for a reason. Heck, you never know, you could end up with them again in the future.
You just gotta wait it out and roll your dice.

~Kali

Alanna

March 22, 2013 @ (ukraine)

Tags: break up, cheating

We started our relationship in October, 2010. From the beginning we were extremely comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we shared a level of intimacy that seemed unreal for two human beings to share. For a little over two years, everything was perfect, a strong word to use, I realize, but there seems as though there can be no other way to describe it, all I needed was him and all he needed was me, we’d spent most days together, and the time we were apart we spent communicating through one or the other form of technology, and it was never one sided. I would contact him as much as he would contact me. We became so codependent, irrational as it seems, it was hard to even ever imagine a life without him. I changed the way he thought, when I had had met him he was impulsive, to say the least. His character comprised of instinct and upbringing. He grew up in a large family, and now would be the right time to point out his islamic roots, his father has never had a ‘father to son’ talk and, initially, he too, was introverted. His thoughts, suppressed. I changed that, he no longer believes in following anyone without question, I eradicated his naivety. Before making a decision, he now rationalizes the consequences, or so I thought.
Although originally from pakistan, He lives in a first world country, two years, four months down our relationship, he was invited to pakistan, to attend the wedding of his cousin brother with his cousin sister, yes, cousins getting married is a perfectly normal thing to do in pakistan, never mind the incest or medical issues raised by it. Anyway, he was to be gone for two weeks.
Upon his return, I learnt, through no help of his, that while his stay in pakistan, he had cheated on me, with one of his cousins. Although, I know it is a possibility for any person to cheat, I would never think of him cheating on me. I still have trouble convincing myself some days.
But all that is done now, we broke up in February, 2013. Its been over a month now.
I have forgiven him for what he did. I am not sure if I would ever get back with him for the only reason of the risk of him repeating his impulsive action. It is futile to talk about this as it is under no intention of his to be with me.
We see each other everyday and on most weekends too. And I see him, looking at me, telling me how beautiful i look, noticing the slightest change of my appearance, our legs touching under the table even though there is clearly plenty of room to sit separate. All this is just so natural for me, it appears to almost be innate.
Well, I suppose it doesn’t help that even though we have broken up, we keep an active sexual relationship. We agreed that it was simply too good to let go and neither of us have had sex with another person after the break up, also, we currently live in a country where the chances of either of us having another relationship are slim. So for me, this set up is actually pretty good, but I suppose he wants more.

A common friend of ours is in a long distance relationship, and he currently has a girl visiting him who happens to like him, and to avoid any trouble, he asked my ex to ‘seduce’ her. I presume, it should not have surprised me, but when he jumped at the opportunity, I was left speechless. I was moving on, happy even, but this little event left me hanging dry, and feelings I was too scared to confront before have managed to finally push their way through. As I type this, he is meeting her, today, for the first time, in hopes to sleep with her. And I am left, feeling alone, unwanted, insecure. I feel as though he moved on too quickly, with so much desperation, it disgusts me, makes me feel disrespected. I worry that even the times in our relationship when we were happy was also a lie. I can not live with that truth.

Nameomitted

March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance

We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.

N/A

February 28, 2013 @ (Ontario)

Tags: Timing, Love

I haven’t had much experience with serious relationships but this is one of the hardest things I've done. I would really appreciate some feedback from outside sources since I'm a popular guy but few people to go to in this city and certainly no shoulder to cry on.
Last night I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years; a girl I admire and daresay love (in many ways), who upon graduating, fought her hateful parents and moved to the city where I studied to complete my late ass degree. Free rent to help pay her loans and good job opportunities out of the question, she moved here to work to survive just to live with me.
We’re both 22 now, and we have known each other for a little over 2 years. Because of her anxiousness to date and my cautiousness it took us about 6 months to go from friends to official.
Moving in after a year was scary enough but done so that we could stay together. This loving girl knew she wanted me forever from the first few months. I was new to the whole relationship scene, and rather unsure. Naturally the thought that she was scared the crap out of me.
But we moved in, and as expected there were some rough nights. We were far from perfect, and her dependence on me paired with her inherent need to ‘have the final say’ on everyday issues tested my rationality regularly. In spite of a few terrible nights where we swore we were done, the year as roommates ended far better than expected. We had learned a lot about living with one another and grown our love. This was mostly because she did everything possible to be the perfect girl, she: is caring, generous, and sweet beyond belief, cooks fantastic meals, adopts new styles, and always promoted a good sex life. Still I felt unhappy – for a reason that was not immediately clear. I loved her, but I also restrained my interests for her sake at times. I feel that this is normal, but I also feel young and that there is much I want to do before I make the necessary sacrifices that come with commitment. In short - I felt that everything was moving too fast.
She never stopped pressuring me into the thing she wanted most from me - a promise. This was something that I couldn't give until I felt ready. She plans to have the security of an engagement ring within the next couple of years, and reminds me of that regularly. I love her, but this is my life too!
With what looks like 2 or 3 years before a real career begins for me, being ready to propose seems half a decade away. I tell her I want to enjoy the relationship we have and continue to work on it and grow together. When I talk to her about the pressure her sacrifices put on me she says she wants someone to match the love –and commitments- that she shows. Unfortunately I can't do that, and although I love her, I have to let her go.
Our timing was cruelly wrong, and I think it is finally time to stop ignoring that fact and use the time to explore myself and my desires. She could be the one, but that’s just not something I can decide yet.

DT

February 19, 2013 @ (Bulgaria)

Tags: break up

Hey guys :) i've read some of your stories and i guess mine isn't as tragic but it still hurts... It all started the day after a friend's party me and 3 guys were kicked out of the house at about 8 in the morning and we decided we were hungry. So we went to Dunkin'Donuts. There we started talking and i realized how much in common we had with K[my ex]. After that we hadn't paid much attention to eachother but we started chatting on facebook. We got closser and closser with every single day we always chatted and when we weren't near a computer we texted. So on march 28th 2012 we started dating ^^ Everything was perfect we were always together we had mutual friends and everything was perfect... i was so HAPPY :)... i even gave my virginity to him ... But then things got bad... we started seeing eachother less and less... he stopped calling me or whatever... if i didn't write to him or call him he never would... he prefered to go to his pottheaded friends then be with me :). So the first time i hadn't heard from him for a week i told him that i want attention i know he's been on the computer i've seen his facebook posts FOR GODS SAKE! And he just looked with those puppy eyes said he was sorry and everything was right again :)... but no.. it happened again... and again... On the third time i asked him how would he feel in my place? What would he do? Did he know that i felt like i was there just so if someone asked him if he had a girlfriend he'd say yes? He just stayed silent... After that day ended i went home and i was expecting atleast a phonecall from him to bring me back.... Nope! Not even a message... So i wrote: after everything we've been trough i didn't even get one message... he called me. The same thing happened i talked he stayed silent... we said we'd meet... We did the samme thing and after the hundret time of me asking him what should i do and how does he think i feel he said i hope we stay friends.... The sad thing is 4 months after the break up i already have a new boyfriend that does EVERYTHING for me and treats me like a princess and i still can't get HIM out of my mind... and what hurts even more is that he doesn't give crap about me :) So i'm forced to see him everyday at school and act happy and fake...

Molly

January 25, 2013 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: Mat

I always knew my relationship with my jackass ex boyfriend Matthew would not work out... He was always an asshole yet I stupidly fell for him anyway.

So we went out one day and he told me that he wanted to break up with me because 'he couldn't love me as much as I loved him'. Fair enough I said ok and we parted ways.

Next day I meet up with my male best friend and tell him what happened and things got a bit intimate (always had a soft spot for him). One week later I'm out with my best friend and we're holding hands when I see the ex! And guess what, he had a new girlfriend! So he was cheating on me throughout the 1 year relationship.

I grabbed my best friend and made out with him in front of Matthew. It was so worth it. When I went home Matt deleted me off facebook and I couldn't give a flying fuck about him. Matthew walks past me at Uni and acts as if I don't exist. Last week I was on the bus and Mat's girlfriend was sitting in front of me. I made it a point that she knows who I am and wished her the best of luck with her boyfriend.

Its not her fault she's with a jackass. I wish I could warn her what sort of a person he is. Once a cheater always a cheater.

I'm not in a relationship with my best friend, but I still make out with him when I see Mat :)

Drew H

January 18, 2013 @ (Indiana)

Tags: unreal, how could she

Man where to begin. I'm now 23. Dated my ex (EK) for a little over 2 years. We went to college together and spent 95% of nights together. She graduates and gets a job 2.5 hours away, but we were solid. We told each other we loved the other and consistently talked about living together after I graduated.

We see each other about 2/3 of weekends and still go strong. Then one day when I go to visit here, out of nowhere, she sits me down and tells me she doesn't think it is going to work out. I'm heartbroken, but am able to calm down and talk it through. she admits to not seeing the whole story and changes her mind relatively quickly and we have a good weekend together.

A few days later, she messages me and expresses how depressed she is. I try to calm her down, but she loses it and says she isn't going to talk to me until after thanksgiving (1 week). When we do talk, she says she wants to discuss all our issues. I agree to meet on my way back to school.

We talk. It wasn't the most pleasant, but we salvage the weekend and have a good 1.5 days together. Then on Wednesday, after a bad day of work, she says she can't do it and says she gonna breakup with me in person at my apartment. I dont wait around. I buy flowers and chocolate and surprise her at her apartment. We talk that night and have a plan to spend a weekend at my school together. I spend the night.

We wake up at 6:30 am (she has to work) and she breaks up with me. I am forced to drive 2.5 hours and go straight class after losing the girl I was in love with.

I do the right thing and leave her alone for a month. No birthday text or any contact from her in December. I call in Jan to initiate a conversation. No response. I try again a few days later. No response. She sends me a FB message saying to stop contacting her. Before I read this, I am meeting with a different ex (KD) for advice. I go to the bathroom during lunch with KD and she takes my phone and grabs EKs phone number and starts texting her. It is not until later that I find out about this after EK accusses KD of actually being me (aka me having 2 phone numbers) and threatens to call the police if i show up at her door.

I send her a FB explaining the deal and telling her how inappropriate she is behaving. She doesn't respond. I randomly run into her the next weekend on campus and she is a wreck and acts incredibly miserable, even though she is dating a guy she became "friends" with right before we broke up.

I will likely never know the truth because she has not answered anything I have texted her. All I have been told is that she was unhappy for a long time and led me on for about 6 months. I have taken the higher road, but it's tough not knowing what went wrong with the girl I loved.

Alexis

November 14, 2012 @ (Florida)

Tags: regret

Well it all started with this guy. He is a little bit younger than me. He is really sweet and a really great guy, but there is just one thing. He acts really annoying and immature sometimes. I fell in love with him though, he was my first real relationship. However, throughout the relationship I found myself loving him one day and then just hating him the next. He got on my last nerves sometimes. I had considered breaking up with him many times but I knew that he was really in love with me and I couldn't bring myself to do it. So one day me and my friends were all talking and his name came up in the conversation, I was telling them how he was really starting to act immature and annoying and thats when I decided I just couldnt handle it anymore. I could let him keep loving me and me holding back. I didn't know how to break it to him without hurting him though. So I decided that the best way was just to start a rumor that he was talking to other girls, BIG mistake. I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't tell him the truth. I thought that he would believe it since someone had already told me rumors about him before. The next day at school my he found out that the rumor was false and he got really mad. And on top of all that my friend told him I cheated on him while we were dating, she completely stabbed me in the back. She told him I made out with a guy at a party. It wasn't true, I was at my cousins birthday party and we were playing truth or dare, I got a dare to kissed this kid on the cheek. So I did, it wasn't a big deal, he was like 12 and it was just on the cheek. It meant nothing but she changed it all around. I felt terrible, I missed him like crazy and the sad thing is was I broke up with him two days before our 4 month anniversary. I began to realize that he really loved me and he was an amazing guy.My whole world just fell apart,no one understood my decision, not even my parents. I felt like everyone hated me for what I did. I even hated myself. I just wanted to undo it all. I made a stupid decision. I hope one day he will forgive me and maybe we can try to date again but until then I have to deal with the regret and guilt.

Tori

November 10, 2012 @ (virginia)

Tags: fell out of love

So i had been with this guy for almost two years. He had a rough childhood and back ground. I helped through alot of that. After about 6 months of being together he moved about 2 hours away. It became a long distance relationship. It was fine at first but in the past few months we had started to fight alot and just not get along well. But when we were actually together things were great. He said he needed a break, and at the end of this break he broke up with me and said "im not inlove with you like i used to be. i still care but the passion is gone" i am completely torn up if i was mad at him or i thought he wasnt worth it i could get over him. but im not mad at him feelings change and he really is a great guy