Searching for "die"

76 Results For 'die'

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Emaa

June 23, 2012 @ (middle of nowhere)

Tags: lifedestroyer, breakup, ruined

ok well heres how it is. im 15, and will be 16 next month. i dated a guy called jerry for about idk 3 weeks i wasnt like madly in love or any of that, but he was keeping my mind off other guys. so yeah he was 19, good looking and really popular too. of course he was one of those tough 'i dont give a shit' guys with no feelings but he was funny enough. anyway, i caught him fucking one of his pretty 6th year classmates. guess where? on the way to school. i obvioisly dumped him in a heartbeat, skipped school for the day to eat my triple chocolate m&s cereal thing and watch maury. ok after a day of that, and texts of 'jerry is a dickhead he didnt deserve you', i got one saying exactly this "You must be so angry at Jerry, for posting that video online. Whatta dick!". hold the phone, what video? then i got a link from fran (my friend). holy fuck. it was a video of me and jerry 'you know what-ing'. AKA FUCKING and i felt like dying right then and there. he'd taken a video of us in secret, not only that it was online, not only that everyone i know saw it. i was about to run away but my step mum came home. she saw it too, god knows how. she got really mad and told me everyone she knew saw it too, even my granny. and of course the texts flew in about what a dirty whore i was, even my friends in singapore watched the video. ive kinda cut everyone off except from my really good friends. i left and am now staying in my house in the country alone (my dad died and i got the huge awesome house) and am lonely as fuck. my bet friend callum told me i should take him to court and sen him away for 20+ years on counts of child pornography, statutory rape and uploading a video without consent. this is without a doubt the worst break up of my entire life ands its destroyed me. hope you feel better thst your break up wasnt half as bad. but i could be wrong if they broke your heart, because thats really sad and hurts A LOT especially when you really really loved them x have fun reading more like i do x

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Serena

February 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup

Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"

Ayylove

February 09, 2012 @ (Reality)

Tags: He cheated on me once, Gave him more than 3 chances

We broke up a week before our four monthsary. He said his parents found out about our relationship, and they weren't so happy about it. He said that his parents want him to focus in his studies first and i understand that. We still loved eachother.. till he found another girl the next day

Abhi

February 07, 2012 @ (India)

Tags: First Love

I recently heard somewhere that “The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature” so this is my effort to get over her.
I met my first love in my first year of college back in sep 2008 we instantly clicked, I had dated before but never felt a connection with anyone the way I felt with her. It was nice hanging out with her and all so I confessed my feelings to her, she said that she felt the same way about me but was not looking for a relationship as she had just come out of a serious relation and was still trying to get rid of her EX. I gave her time and after 4 months we eventually started dating. We were in a committed relation for 10 months in that period we had met each other’s parents and everything seemed to be working pretty well. Well out of nowhere she told me that she was planning to go out of country for further studies and would probably be leaving 6 months later so she wanted to end the relation as long distance does not work and she would miss me too much to be able to stay away and she wanted to stay friends. Well we broke up; I stayed away from her and had a rebound fling that lasted a month. After two months I started dating a girl which was a mutual friend to my ex and it was going great but my ex started contacting me again and when she found out that I was kind of getting serious about this new girl she broke us up. So I started dating my EX again, we dated for three months and we broke up again that was in the starting of 2011. She contacted me 3 months ago and we have been in touch ever since and she told me that she wanted to get married to me, well we never really started dating again just kept in touch. This created a lot of issues for me as this girl was my first love I still had feelings for her, so I told her that this wasn’t working. We fought a full one month and all she kept doing was postponing things. So day before yesterday I called her up and told her it wasn’t working out and I couldn’t do this anymore, she asked me to meet her but this had been going on for a while that whenever I tried to come to a conclusion she would ask me to meet up and cancel at the last moment this had gone on for a full month so I told her that there was no point and asked her not to contact me again. That night I had a couple of drinks and slept on it, next morning I woke up and it hit me….In the past 3 n a half years we were together a cumulative of a 2 years had broken up 3 times, we both had dated other people but we were always there for each other. I realized that I might never see her again…….ever since I have been thinking if made the right decision….

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Tags: Heartbreak, breakup

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

SnowCrashed

January 05, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: crazy, psycho, weird, funny

This one was definitely my funniest. This total nutjob I hated myself enough to date at the time was a nightmare. Never shut up, had no personality, was an entitled, spineless child, tried to absorb every little trend that ever happened in order to make himself look cool, treated me like dirt, lied, stole, and despite never going to college, counted himself as "the most learned person he knew" because he'd figured out how to read Wikipedia. Also, he was insane. (And now he's SINGLE, ladies! Have at him!) One day, I had the epiphany "OH MY GOD I ---HATE--- THIS PERSON". Oddly enough it was during sex. Not sure why, but moving on. Now, I don't condone what I did in response to this, but I was young and cowardly, so there you go. I was at home the next day and I got a text from him. I was going to reply, but then I suddenly thought..."What if I just didn't respond? Ever? Ever again? Could it be that easy?" So that's what I did. A few days later the texts and calls stopped. I couldn't believe it worked. Almost. A week later out of the blue, he ruins my euphoria by showing up at my house and screaming that "he would break up with me" if I didn't stop ignoring him. So I was like... "Uhhh...okay bye!" and tried to go back inside, but he barged in after me and started ranting "all the reasons" he'd been "planning" to break up with me for "months". To which I was like "Dude, gtfo my house, or cops will be called." Then he responded by saying there was no way I'd go on living without him, that I'd kill myself without him--in retrospect I don't know how I wasn't literally rolling on the floor laughing. Eventually I said "Fine, if I stop texting you assume it's because I killed myself in depression, now leave." And then he starts wailing and wailing and telling me he'll kill HIMself if I break up with him. All I could say to that was "Yeah, well, good luck with that." Then I shoved him until he was out the door and threatened him with violence not to return. It must've been pretty convincing, because when he bumped into me a few months later he RAN the other way. Like I said. Giant coward. Memorable story for me though.

Brynn

December 31, 2011 @ (bacolod)

Tags: 123

Hey.I'm ladiesman from philippines(obviously just an alias). It's my first time to experience this kind of pain from a break-up, cause I've invested too much on this woman. We got into a relationship through a dare game, in a text message. We got along,flirted,calling each other every 10:00 in the evening, been making out 4 times.., but never had an actual sex(just oral). The thin g with our relationship is she doesn't want to go out with me in public, telling me that she doesn't want her friends to know about it and that they will be shocked, I've also asked her about the guys that had been tecting her and calling her, and she would just tell me that these guys are nothing to worry about. Deep inside me I know that she's hiding something from me, but everytime I've asked her about this one she would always tell me the same thing, that I don't need to worry, they are just old acquaintances/ friends. It got to a point that I couldn't take this kind of thing anymore, and that I wanted our relationship to be open, so I told her about it, we broke up, and after an hour I told her that I was sorry and I want her back again. She just agreed, but starting that time, things got weird. She would not call me every 10:00 in the evening like what she's gonna be doing before, always delayed or sometimes not replying on my text messages anymore, started to make excuses for us not to meet, it was too much for me that I tried to call her for 33 times, she didn't answered back then. She then texted me on why have I called her for that many number of times, and I told her that I thought she was trying to avoid me, she was pissed, and told me that she's starting to lose interest on me because of what i did, and that caused our break up. I still made an effort to contact her, and even called her once asking for one more chance, but she told me that she just wants to be alone during christmas, and that she won't be giving me a chance
"for now" she says. 3 days passed, i never texted her but I would still call her from time to time, cause I was badly missing our daily routine of calling each other, and also spending time with her too...The last time that she answered the phone, after my 5 attempted calls in one day, she said"hello?...., I'm still busy", and then she dropped the phone. That hurted like hell for me. I felt like it's really 100% over already. I couldn't get over it that much, i became a paranoid and tried to seek advice from a lot of people around me, even those that I don't know. It came to a point that I've realized that I'm starting to get over it already, and had been trying to check her fb walls if there are other guys posting some stuffs. Lo and behold, there was a guy that I really have doubts to have a sexual reltionship with her that posted in her wall, I checked his fb account, checked on the pictures and his walls, and there I've discovered that my girl was actually trying to flirt, and chase the guy(cause he's a model) and had been posting a lot of flirty comments to each other since the day that my girl and I started making out(only lasted for about 2 months and a couple of weeks). Right now, I already consider her as a bitch, and is still trying to move on from the lies that she's been doing to me. I never realized that she's this kind of person, but a girl like this are the type to just be thrown away and be ignored(that's what my ego tells me to do....), and that's what I'm trying to do right now. Thing is, she still has a small boobs and a smelly cunt, so, I wanna wish the other guys who's gonna be meeting with her vagina a goodluck.