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Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Broken (part 3)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

He says she has made his life a living hell and he wants to get out. I say whatever makes you happy and he gives me this smile that makes my heart stop. I lie to him and say i don't have a boyfriend. I go out of my apartment and call him. I say he's here. He says great now go and have fun i love you. I do too i say and don't mean it. Because all of a sudden i realize no other amount of love will ever come as close as the way i love him. I finally realize when people say if its love you will know. I don't care that he has two kids, i don't care that his wife is a bitch, i don't care that he has so much baggage that he literally is the baggage claim. I care about none of it. Because when i am with him i need nothing. The world without him means nothing. And what is a world without nothing to live for? So we go on vacation. We leave the country and go away. At first we are friend and nothing else. It starts with silly jokes, past memories, the brush of his hands against mine, the way he accidentally touches me, the way he pokes me when he thinks i am not listening. Then before you know it you're both falling madly in love. I had already been in love but this time its his turn to feel what i feel. And he does. He feels it with a passion i did not see coming. Then the planning of the future comes. He promises me a grand wedding, the telling of our families, the happiness our fathers would feel at the news. We talk about how we would raise his kids and whether i should learn how to cook healthy options. He leaves and i cry at the airport. I break up with my boyfriend and forget all about him. As if he never existed. I stay up until 4 am everyday so i can be on his time. I sleep all day and am up all nigh. He's worth it i say. I get too tired to go to work, too tired to go out with friends he's all i think of. He calls he says its over the divorce is final and he will send me a ticket to vista him after january (2015). I cry whether its from joy or the foreshadowing of our future i can't tell. I quit my job, i sell the few things i owe, i pack my life up and go to vegas with my best friends and he hits Paris with his. I am on the phone with him on new years i say happy new years love of my life. He says happy new years my soul but i have to go now my guy friends are waiting for me. I feel a pang of something a flutter of wrongness but i ignore it and keep on dousing champagne. I smile and think to myself this year is going to be great.

Broken

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

OMG SO SORRY. I swear i SUBMITTED it once but i guess i clicked the submit button too many times? I was taking my frustration out on the submit button

Broken

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

I met him at 18 while travelling abroad. He was a childhood friend that my mother insisted i visit even if its for a few days. Our fathers were best friends and as children they had always joked that we both would end up together. I was 18 he was 19. The day he came to pick up me up at the airport was a day i will never forget. Even though i had never met him i remember running into his arms as if i had known him my whole life. As if my soul knew him long before i had even known him. I ended up only spending two days in his home country as i was back packing through Europe and had not thought much of staying there for longer. Another reason was that i was travelling with my best friend and she wants interested in last minute change of plans. I never imagined i would feel this way about him. After spending two wonderful days with him i promised i would end my trip back in his country and fly back from there. However that never happened. I had a family emergency back home and had to fly back mid way through my trip. However once i got back i could not stop thinking about him. And let me tell you at that point i had a great boyfriend and once i came back from my trip i no longer felt anything for him. So i broke it off. What i didn't realize at that moment was that he never wanted what i wanted. I wanted him and he didn't think we would work because i was so different from him. Two years later he got married to a girl and he kept in touch through out the years. He would message me happy birthday or miss you come visit. I never replied. I blocked his memory out of my life because after all what do you know when you're 18? You think you're in love and you have met your soul mate but everyone tells you you're too young to know. So i blocked him and every single memory of him. Forward it to 8 years later. I am 26 living alone, have a great boyfriend whom i see a future with, a great job. I get a call early morning 3 am my time. Its him. He says he's going through a divorce and wonders if it would be okay for him to visit. I think nothing of it. I don't even remember that i once had feelings for him. I just think sure come why not i can show you around. I don't over think it, i tell my boyfriend and he's okay with it as he will be out of town anyways and thinks its a great idea for him to come. After all he says he's going through a divorce why not be there for him. I should have known i would regret this i should have known nothing ever good comes out of him but i didn't.

SU

April 17, 2015 @ (US)

Tags: Bad Break Up

An Open Letter To My Ex Boyfriend â€“ â€˜Thank You For Leaving Meâ€™
Hey, Ex-Babe!

Remember me?

It wasnâ€™t long ago when we were planning our future together, fantasizing about our honeymoon, naming our future kidsâ€¦ You promised me forever and I promised you my eternal love! You treated me like a princess, showered love unconditionally, cared for me, stood by me, stood for me and made me feel like I was the luckiest girl alive on this planet. It was almost like I was under a spellâ€¦ a beautiful spell of your enchanting words, spontaneity and steaming romance. Your words... they still echo in my mind and leave me speechless for hours. I never believed in love, you made me a believer.

Remember, how I started giving up everything you dislikedâ€¦ late night study plans, 9-5 job, even talking to my closest friends. Remember, how my whole life started revolving around you and I started being there for you ALL THE TIME! I donâ€™t know when you became the most important person in my life and when to make you happy became the sole reason of my existence.

Our little world was sweet but full of hurdles. I always thought our love was enough to pave our way through our struggles, but I was wrong. You failed the biggest test of our relationship... you caved when our relationship needed you to take the most dreaded step. Instead of making efforts to make things right for us, you left, without any warningâ€¦

Read More: http://goo.gl/IfdL10

Bubby

April 10, 2015 @ (vijayawada)

Tags: Love, break-up, back together.

Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. Itâ€™s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one youâ€™ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that youâ€™ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So youâ€™ve got that person in your life. Youâ€™ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing youâ€™ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both donâ€™t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!â€. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in loveâ€¦ And history repeats itself...!
MY ADVICE..!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!

Poet

March 14, 2015 @ (from hell)

Tags: sad break up, bad break up, love

"The last chapter of our story" or "the brake up" is my best way to tell you how! Let me know what you think

Why did you go and left me alone
Did you think like I'll just move on?

Your memory is in every corner of my mind
Without seeing you, my eyes will go blind

Do you remember when we planed everthing together ?
And you said "baby, I'll be with you forever"

I believed your word like it was an oath
Because of it, now I feel loath

We had a bond stronger than bricks
After all these years, you say we don't really mix!

My problem is, I'm in love with your smile
To get over it, it'll take me a while

There is apart of me will never forget you
I'll always love you, regardless what you do

And when you realize how much I do, it'll be too late
You'll crawl back to me, but I won't take that bait

I wish you will always be happy, even though I'm hurt
Cuz once you love someone you just can't revert

That's how I love you, but you decided to forget everything we shared
It breaks my heart, but at least now I know how much you cared

That's how you wanted to write the last chapter of our story
Nothing will fix it now, not even "I'm sorry".

Brokenheart

March 14, 2015 @ (india)

Tags: bad break up.

I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now and my boyfriend has been acting really weird from the past two months. he has been desperately trying to end the relationship. the last time i met he seemed depressed and i thought its just the depression and the work pressure that has made him this way. we fight alot and he gets so upset that he ends up crying. we had a huge fight on my birthday which was a month back. Ever since then he seems to complaining of severe depression and that he hasnt been able to sleep and said he wanted some space. after two days he calls me and tells me that he is ending this relationship for good and that he hates me. he even said that he will be looking out for girls from april to get married too. I was shattered and i honestly didnt know what was going on. a week later he calls me again and says he was sorry and he cant live without me. I took him back but i was tooo hurt to heal so quickly and accept that he wanted me. it wasnt even three days when got into yet another fight. he then withdrew and stopped talking to me. i later get a call from his boss and his boss who is way older than us, said that its best i move on. I FEEL SO TORN APART . i dont even know why he did this to me. i dont know what is the actual reason for the break up. i loved him so much that in my mind we were already married. i saw him like my husband. why would a guy do this to me? i request him to meet me one last time in april when he comes here, but he bluntly refused. I REAALLY DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPeNED. i tried way to hard to make this work. something in me says he loves me. the other half tells me ive been only manipulated and kicked around like a football in and out of his life. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

AngelaLovex

March 09, 2015 @ (South Carolina )

Tags: Lying cheating boyfriend

Ever since I met him he always had me wrapped around his fingers. He played hard to get, and when I got him we had a wonderful relationship the first 7 months we were together. He wanted to know If I would be okay with him having an Instagram. I said I didn't trust people on that site. Soon he would act like I was garbage. I poured my love, heart, and tears into this relationship. He broke up with me and talked to other girls, and when we got back together I tried my hardest to show him I love him. I always caught him talking to online girls and he promised each time he wouldn't break my heart again. He stopped texting, calling, and caring. I found out it was because he was talking to another girl. He lied to her about everything and she took him back. I gave him ANOTHER chance and he still didn't appreciate me. I felt lost and used. I finally had enough and said if you can't treat me right and give me attention, we need to break up. He told me we are done, and the same day he saw me to get his crap from my house I called over and over and his new girlfriend picked up, apparently they were on a date. If she only knew the shit he put me through. She is basic anyways she can have him. I am happy now but I still think what if? But I gave it all I could.

Louise

February 26, 2015 @ (UK)

Tags: Bad break up, wierd break up

Okay.. here we go...
Everything was great in my relationship we had been together for 9 months and known each other since we were babies- our mothers used to have play dates!
One Tuesday night, he seems a bit strange. This was wierd, a bit distance, I id never seen him like this ever before and I was going to call him on it but the moment passed. Before he dropped me home he said how he hoped we were going to be together forever and how he never wants to let me go.
The next day - Wednesday I arrange to see him to see if he's ok because the previous evening had made me think.
We go out for a drink, we sit there and he says we should end.
I was stumped!!!
He said we just have to end and he was soo sorry and how this was the hardest thing he's ever done and that he still didn't know if he had done the right thing.....
I was so shocked.
Out of the blue.
This was my first proper relationship, first love and now first break up?!
I managed to hold it together till he dropped me off home (the most awkward car ride I have ever experienced) we hugged in the car, I get inside my house and then totally break down, I cried for hours. No exaggeration.
Well that was a year ago, we still see each other - in the same volunteering program - but haven't said a word to each other.
It was just so wierd. He started going out with this girl in September, they got engaged in December and are getting married in June.
Still wierd though.