Searching for "depression"

47 Results For 'depression'

Natalie

December 08, 2013 @ (Seattle)

Tags: bad break up, young love, sweet, cute, douche bag, depression, anxiety, high school, sad, ugh

Oh my gosh . My ex boyfriend is a douche bag. I swear .. I was never over him.. but he caused so much pain, and I really tried to .. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER . I'VE HEARD RUMORS FROM MY FRIEND ALEX (who is also his best friend) BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. But now he's smiling at me with those beautiful teeth .. talking to me and luring me in with that voice.. the voice that's like honey and just makes me melt everytime I hear it. He changed me. I wasn't always depressed, even if my life wasn't all that great .. after my parents finalized the divorce, there wasn't much to look forward to. But he was there for me. He was always my shoulder to cry on. Ever since 7th grade . UGH, MIDDLE SCHOOL. I thought middle school was hard; but compared to high school, it was a party.. my emotions are just everywhere.. but yea, the point is, he ended up breaking me in the end. I knew it wasn't gonna last. Of COURSE I knew. But something at the back of my mind just wished it wasn't. And I guess I just couldn't accept the cruel reality that it was over. All those movie dates . All the times he'd put his arms around me.. and that smile- it was directed towards me and me only and I used to literally feel as if we were the only two people in the world. That strawberry blonde/brownish hair .. haha.. the long paragraphs he would send me in the morning about how beautiful he thought I was.. those times in third period where we laughed, he would flip his hair, start strumming that bass guitar of his while the strings teacher would yell at me about dropping my violin and then having to tune it all over again. We lived to make her annoyed omg , but I just miss it . I miss everything. I miss him. I miss not being lonely.

That time on the ferris wheel at the state fair with terry and alex? When we kissed and said 'I love you' for the 80th time?
I miss us.

The truth is, I was never over it. I miss running my fingers through his hair.

I just dont wanna be lonely.

I poured my heart out to him and he took advantage of me.

I miss that fairytale feeling.

But I guess all fairytales have to end. Just ask Troy. He had no problem ending mine.

And now he just wants to walk back into my life again? After all the pain that he's caused? Like nothing's happened? I just can't.

The thing that makes me hate myself the most? Everytime he glances at me, I still get butterflies. When I see him laugh in the hallways, my heard starts pounding inexpilcably fast. And the last and most horrifying thing? I was tempted. I was actually tempted to say yes.

Ariel

December 03, 2013 @ (Denver, CO)

Tags: douche, bad breakup, young love, love, like, sad, depression, boys, guys, girls, jerk, douchebag

Well, this guy and I started dating last summer. I've known him for such a long time (since elementary school maybe) and we were just like best friends. At first.. I thought it'd all turn out fine. There was still that shimmer of doubt but my heart blinded me to the point where I was convinced that we were unbreakable.

I remember when we used to pull all nighters on the phone and my dad would be SO mad because I didn't sleep at all that night and didn't want to get up in the morning.. The thing was, he had a girlfriend. He dumped her for me. Of course, I felt really guilty, but, I really liked him and the truth is, I was very flattered because I didn't think anyone would ever do that for me. He was literally my everything. I adored him in every way possible. He was so funny; he'd always make me laugh and I could have sworn we were made for each other. All my friends LOVED him, his personality is literally the best.. he's sensitive

Kali

March 24, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: not understanding, sadness.

I figure typing this out would probably do good for my heart, so I have decided to tell you all about my quite recent (only a few hours ago but still had enough time to linger in my head) breakup.

This boy was literally my childhood friend. Bad idea, I know, but I digress. He meant the world to me as a kid, and we just recently re-met each other after not speaking for years. The chemistry was sorta ... instant.

However, obviously, it didn't last.
We spent the few days we were together talking, and talking, and talking. I actually felt like he really cared about me. Just the mentioning of his name made me smile and blush.

He and I had so much in common, we still do. Our religious beliefs, music, art..
I thought I had really made it good, that for once, someone would stay with me.

Obviously that couldn't happen.
I get a text late into the night - and it said it was him, and that he wanted to end our relationship because he "wasn't ready for one." Me, usually reacting quite the opposite of how I normally would've, take the passive approach toward him, saying "I'm fine, I understand."

I later on then cried, and cried, and then something quite stupid. Cut myself. I couldn't sleep, due to the pain in my legs (one of the places I had decided to cut,) and my little depression I had going on.

So to any girl, or boy, or whomever is going through a breakup, don't get to down. We're just one step closer to finding our one ticket to happiness.
Regardless as to however they broke up with you, it happened for a reason. Heck, you never know, you could end up with them again in the future.
You just gotta wait it out and roll your dice.

~Kali

Liz

December 24, 2012 @ (Lost)

Tags: emotional, regret

so back in october I started talking to this guy (he's 18 and so am I), at first we weren't fond of each other because of a certain situation but slowly we started talking on good terms, I got to know him and he took the time to get to know me, we hung out a few times and I started developing feelings or a crush towards him. soon after on november 1st 2012 we started dating officially, we would see each other every day and sometimes he would come over out of the blue unexpectedly. I found these gestures sweet at a point and we would constantly spend time together. Myself, I really don't have many friends and I have a real fear of trusting people because of my past but I let that go with him. I was head over heels up until now when I slipped into a depression. I got sick with bronchitis and we couldn't see each other for a few days but he still wanted to see me although we could not kiss because of my sickness and he was pretty sick himself. I started having doubts in the back of my head was this what I really wanted. He treated me so well like a princess, we had our little arguments yes but that never changed how I felt and we always had great communication with each other and he all around cared about me and never have I ever been treated that way by any guy and it sort of gave me hope that things were going to change for me for once. he always complimented me although I never felt beautiful and I was also having problems with my life ie. college, family problems but he was there to asure me he wasn't going anywhere which scared me even more. I started feeling as if when I kissed him I didn't feel right because he said he was slowly falling for me but I was trying hard to keep myself from falling for him seeing as the duration of the time we've been together. He makes me so happy, he brightens my day and since we've broken up these past few days I feel empty and regretful and just guilty. I feel as if I let something good go and I'm not sure if I'll ever find that again, but I had to let him go if I did not feel right at that time because I slowly started feeling depressed again. I felt as if I couldn't feel for him the way he wanted me to and it hurts because I hurt him and he did nothing wrong. Was is that he was clinging on too much that I started to feel this way? I'm so confused and lost, that I'm not sure if this was right or if it was. I'm scared I may have lost out on my forever.

Nikki

December 23, 2012 @ (Cambridge, MA)

Tags: Coward

T got depressed in October & wouldn't see me for six weeks. My father died Nov 6th. Nov 14th was my birthday. 1 1/2 weeks later, T disappeared without explanation, not answering my calls & messages. I was depressed after my father's death, I'm very insecure, and I'm used to the people I care about disappearing. Due to these factors, I interpreted T's absence as he didn't want to talk to me. After about 10 days, I finally sent T a text asking why he wasn't answering my messages, that he said he cared about me, & I missed our conversations. The next day, T answered that he'd been away without a phone signal. He said no one else was upset by his absence (no one else was used to daily contact with him!), and that he was uncomfortable that I'd assume something negative about him. I explained about my depression & insecurity. T said he understood, that he wasn't upset. He wrote a bit about his Thanksgiving, sent a joke, and then a smile when I joked in reply. I thought everything was OK. But then I didn't hear from T again. I wondered if T had gone away again. I was also worried~ I didn't know if he was dead or alive. After about a week, I went to T's place, and was shocked to find that he was at home. I suddenly realized that I'd been left for no reason, and that T didn't even tell me, had in fact led me to believe that everything was all right between us. I rang the bell. T wouldn't come down. I rang the bell for a while, and T called the police! Not only was T not man enough to come down and tell me what was going on, but he wouldn't even tell me that he didn't want to talk to me. T said that he had very strong feelings for me, that he loved me. He said we were friends, and our friendship was the most important thing. T had also told me that he'd never forget how I was there for him when his father died. He dumped me 2 1/2 weeks after my father's death! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXi2vHrT-kU&list=HL1356282746

Sophia

July 19, 2012 @ (UK)

Tags: long-distance, cancer, depression, love of my life, soulmate

I was in a relationship with a guy for about 5 months. I had never experienced such an intense and caring love before. There were a few ups and downs but we grew closer and closer. He was constantly saying that I was the love of his life and that he would do anything for me. I felt closer to him than to any other human being ever before.

After 5 months, I needed to move to another country for my job. (This career move had been planned long before I met him.) After living in the new country for six weeks I was diagnosed with a tumour. When I told him about this tumour, he sent me an email saying that he still loved me as much as before but was planning on spending his next holiday with “some close female friend” and needed to let me go.

I hit rock bottom that night. I talked to him only once more on the phone. After that, I never heard from him again.

8 months later I am still struggling and on medication (both against the tumour and the depressions that set in after the breakup). Not one day goes by without me thinking about him.

Steven

March 06, 2012 @ (Vermont)

Tags: Example 1

My sister gave her friend my number and instantly we started hitting it off. We talked everyday and all day long as well as hung out as much as possible. One day I asked her if she wanted to be official and she agreed. We were together for a few weeks and in that few weeks she said she loved me. I on the other hand wasnt ready to tell her that. Then a few days later she texted me in the middle of the night saying she rushed into the relationship and wasn't ready to be with someone. This was strange because days before she was saying things the COMPLETE opposite. She said she still wanted to talk and hang out and be together but just not officially. So I agreed and things kept going for a week until one day I was at her house playing a game on her iphone when randomly this kid texted her calling her "babe" I was skeptical so I went through the conversation while she wasn't looking and I found days worth of conversations with stuff like her saying "I want you" and "I miss you babe" (stuff she usually says to me) So i showed it to her and she freaked out and begged me not to leave and me being the idiot i was spent all night listening to her explain herself. She said that he meant nothing to her and one of the main reasons she broke up with me in the first place was that "there was another guy" which turned out to be her ex. This devastated me but when we were making up and spending the night together I told her I loved her. We were so close for a while until one day she texted my sister and told her "I make her feel like shit sometimes" which makes no sense because I had done nothing wrong. She told me she needed space from me and said If i dont do so then I'll "lose her forever" I spent two weeks not talking to her and in those two weeks I was in a deep depression and couldn't enjoy anything I once loved doing. So one day she texted me saying she missed me and took me back but once again she went through this stupid little phase she had where she just wouldn't talk to me or wouldn't call me "babe" or call me "her boyfriend" I checked her facebook and she flirts with SO many guys she calls them "babe" and "boo" and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I texted her 8 pages of everything that I felt and told her that she made no effort in the relationship and treated me like an idiot. She then proceeded to deny flirting and talking with other guys when I can clearly see her doing it on facebook. I broke up with her and she told me it was all my fault. Pssh yeah right. I know Im a good guy and I didnt deserve that. Fuck any girl who is a tease and thinks flirting with a million guys is cool. You aren't cool. It's unattractive and makes you look like a slut/idiot/bitch that no one likes

Perc3pti0n

March 28, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: (trust, love, friends, life)

Second year of high school we became friends. But he wasn't one of my usual friends, we would poke and push each other around playfully. We would compete over little things. Our friendship slowly grew, he didn't let anyone in easily. But even at that young age people always teased us about being together. Four years later he was my best friend and much more, we went out and it started off great. I was suffering from depression at the time and he got me help, he helped me through all of it. I felt safe with him. He didn't really have many close friends except me, i felt like his only one and i loved it. We would fight a lot but we always made it through. Then when high school finished we broke up, we had enough. I still wanted him but maybe only because i felt lonely. We were determined to stay friends. But as soon as he moved out of home and into the city he made his own friends and one night we found ourselves throwing abuse at each other, i missed him and i was angry that he was absent in my life. Anyway as i began to cry on the phone telling him how much i actually missed him, he began to laugh, saying he didn't need me, he didn't care. I can't even recognize him anymore.

Early in our relationship he said he would never break up with me. He said we would always be best friends. He seemed so great but in the end he turned out like every other selfish bastard. I've lost my trust in people, i hope one day i can regain it. More than anything though, i see how much he's enjoying life right now and how i'm not and its difficult to get through.

SnowCrashed

January 05, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: crazy, psycho, weird, funny

This one was definitely my funniest. This total nutjob I hated myself enough to date at the time was a nightmare. Never shut up, had no personality, was an entitled, spineless child, tried to absorb every little trend that ever happened in order to make himself look cool, treated me like dirt, lied, stole, and despite never going to college, counted himself as "the most learned person he knew" because he'd figured out how to read Wikipedia. Also, he was insane. (And now he's SINGLE, ladies! Have at him!) One day, I had the epiphany "OH MY GOD I ---HATE--- THIS PERSON". Oddly enough it was during sex. Not sure why, but moving on. Now, I don't condone what I did in response to this, but I was young and cowardly, so there you go. I was at home the next day and I got a text from him. I was going to reply, but then I suddenly thought..."What if I just didn't respond? Ever? Ever again? Could it be that easy?" So that's what I did. A few days later the texts and calls stopped. I couldn't believe it worked. Almost. A week later out of the blue, he ruins my euphoria by showing up at my house and screaming that "he would break up with me" if I didn't stop ignoring him. So I was like... "Uhhh...okay bye!" and tried to go back inside, but he barged in after me and started ranting "all the reasons" he'd been "planning" to break up with me for "months". To which I was like "Dude, gtfo my house, or cops will be called." Then he responded by saying there was no way I'd go on living without him, that I'd kill myself without him--in retrospect I don't know how I wasn't literally rolling on the floor laughing. Eventually I said "Fine, if I stop texting you assume it's because I killed myself in depression, now leave." And then he starts wailing and wailing and telling me he'll kill HIMself if I break up with him. All I could say to that was "Yeah, well, good luck with that." Then I shoved him until he was out the door and threatened him with violence not to return. It must've been pretty convincing, because when he bumped into me a few months later he RAN the other way. Like I said. Giant coward. Memorable story for me though.

Ash

December 20, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: My story

Hi all, at last found a site where i can spill my feelings. It all stated 8 years back. My neighbour boy (who calls me big bro) was my very good friend since childhood. He is 4 years younger to me and was doing BDS (bachelor in Dental Surgery). He had a senior girl in the college whom he respected as a elder sister. In many conversations he used to cite her examples. I became influenced towards this girl and asked him to give me her mobile number. Upon a promise that i wont play with the girls feelings, he gave me the number. After many attempts to make the girl talk to a stranger, she finally felt comfortable talking to me. Our relationship grew on phone and though we hadn't seen each other, the inter bond kept growing. Then one fine day, we decided to meet. On the first look, it was love at first site for both of us. Whenever she had to go her college in the other distant city, i used to drop her to the next city bus stand. Shopping together, going into malls..... all was like a dream. Then after 3 years, i asked her to ask her parents for marriage as i was very keen to get married to her and so she was. She belonged to a hindu brahmin family which had a staunch belief in astrology. When her parents asked my birth details, i gave them my true details. Although i knew our horoscopes don't match, still i wanted to marry her on truth and not on a bed of lies. Her father told me that since she was a manglik (an astrological condition) and i was not she could be married to a manglik boy only. We both tried to convince them for 2 long years but they didnt agreed. Although i am well educated and placed at a high position in an MNC, they said a straight "NO" to me. She even tried suicide thrice to convince them but they didnt agreed. After that, she started avoiding my calls. As our relation was entering its seventh year, my family told me that they can'nt wait any longer and my mother being hyper tensive, wanted the things to be settled at this end or the other. Finally, we went to see her father to convince him about my love but a straight NO was his answer. I was heartbroken as the girl stopped picking up my calls. I went through a three month anti depression course. Then my family finalised some other girl for me and got me married. After two years of marriage and a son, my ex again came in contact with me. She is still single, has crossed 30 years of age and is repenting on her decision to go as per her parents decision. She says that she always loved me and avoided my phone calls just to make me hate her and to make me move on with my life. Although i have got a loving wife but the place which i had given to my ex, i wont be able to give it to anyone. I am trying to pull on with life without my wife knowing it but it is like getting born and dying every day. Now my ex's parents are searching for a boy but for her too it will be just another compromise that she will be making. How people shatter lives of lovers in India just on the pretext that the astrological horoscopes dont match is a lifelong nightmare for lovers. Neither the children nor the parents nor the ones to whom they get married ever stay happy just because of this sick mentality of horoscope matching. Life is hell without the one whom you love so deeply, whom you have visualised and imagined in each and every moment in your coming life, in all your future times. Life is truly a hell.