Tags: Love, break-up, back together.
Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. It’s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one you’ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that you’ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So you’ve got that person in your life. You’ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing you’ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both don’t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!â€. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in love… And history repeats itself...!
MY ADVICE..!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!
July 9, 2013. the best day I've ever lived. I remember it so clearly. the day we met in person. the day we kissed. he was, and still is, the best person I've met. but I've learned a lot about great people since I met him. I learned that no one is all around perfect. he was like.. a sociopath. he always pretended to be completely faithful. I knew so much about him, even though I pretended not to. I knew in my heart that he was a sociopath. I guess I never put the pieces together.
more towards the end of us, I began to be very depressed. he said he just wanted me to be happy. but I think what he really wanted.. was for me to leave him alone. I was scared. I was scared that other girls were better than myself. he knew this about me.
so, we argued very much. one day we argued and he decided to "break up" with me, which was something that started happening recently. we would break up and get back together a few minutes later. this time though, he took it a step further. he talked to a girl that I specifically told him he could not talk to because they used to flirt with each other all the time. well, all I knew was that they had flirted, and I wasn't okay with that. but little did I know.
so, I talked to her. I apologized for being rude to her before because I never knew exactly what happened between the two of them. she told me exactly what happened. she said that he led her on for 3 months, WHILE he was dating me. she didn't know that he was dating me. she said that she gave him a few blow jobs and they went to the movies twice together. she said that she was under the impression that they were together. until one day, he told her that he was using her. he switched schools and stopped talking to her. she thought I knew about that, but I didn't. all I knew was that they spoke over snapchat and they flirted. maybe if I wasn't so oblivious about the whole thing, I would've known. I was just so in love, I guess. it wasn't something I wanted to believe.
so, after she told me this, I realized that I was just lied to for over a year.. by a guy that I thought cared about me. he looked me in my eyes and told me that he kissed 2 girls in his life. he looked me in my eyes and told me nothing happened between them. I should have known. it hurt me for so long just to know that he flirted with her because it was something he didn't even feel guilty about. I don't understand how he could do something like this to me.
and now it feels like I spent a year and seven months of my life on someone who didn't care about me very much. someone who pretended. and every happy memory is just like trash. it's useless to me but it hurts me so bad. everywhere I go, I remember what him
Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go
I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.
Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.
The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.
After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.
None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.
All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)
She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)
But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.
At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.
I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.
Unfortunately, we didn't last.
The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)
It just all started to crumble for her.
As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...
It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.
It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.
She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.
I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...
Tags: breakups
Well i met this guy who understood me for me? who never put me down..but all he ever did is lie to me i lost every bit of hope,he wasnt the guy i met him as.i never make him happy i dont know what i do wrong i just be my self?its like im not good enough most nights i cry.i act dead normal about the sitaution but deep down i love him to pieces but he lies to me all the time?he's toothfaced slags people off i dont know what to do?
Tags: sad
i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)
Tags: Bad breakups
After almost 9 years, a child and a house I thought we were set for a happy ever after.
We were planning more babies, looking to upgrade the house. But then one night he just never came home. He said he was alone, needed time alone to grieve the loss of his father. Said he wanted no one else. He quit his job and I supported him. I honestly thought he just wanted
Time alone. But once his inheritance cleared he stopped talking to me. And then the discovery of a love filled card from another women clarified the actual situation!!
He said she was great. A really good girl - aren't all mistresses great people!!! Hahaha. She was the one. Who knows how long they were seeing each other but that was that.
He moved in with her, took our son and introduced her and her kids as part of his new family.
All a bit quick? If only I knew he was cheating . . . If only he told
Me the truth instead of lying and lying. He was staying with me only until his inheritance was in his account. The other woman and him planned a new life together. He said he didn't tell me because he wasn't sure if they would work out! Hahahaha I was the back up plan!! Oh And he didn't want to hurt me! Brilliant.
Nothing as shocking, devastating and soul destroying like it. On the bright side, at least I'm no longer with a lying, cheating, unemployed, delusional moron!!
Tags: Sara
Our story is now almost 7 years long. With zillion of breakups, cries, backtogethers, now I can finally say it's over. When I look back now, there's been more bad than nice times, I often felt rejected, humiliated and not loved.. What took me so long? Low self esteem, not a drop of self love and addiciton. The last drop over the top was last month of our "relationship". In May I got pregnant.. Then he fell in love with someone new - so he said. We talked on the phone about the situation we had to solve somehow. I've decided that the abortion is the best solutin for me.. The day I went to the hospital, he wasn't there for me. Yet the "good" thing came out of all, I didn't have the abortion since I misscarried the child. It was probably somekind of a sign, that that person is really the best to stay away from. But the pain of his actions was and still is sometimes unbearable. I am moving on now, day by day, hour by hour with thoughts of lonliness mostly in my head. But my goal is now to get over him and find love in myself, the long missing self esteem and the partner I deserve. I know I will be ok! :)
Tags: breakups
My bf and i were together for a year. We lived together in an apartment that we found and furnished together. During our international school trips for 3 weeks we talked as normal. Then on the 3rd last day, he broke up with me, in an email. AN EMAIL!! We get back to the country at different times. He arrived 5 hours later then he said to our home, angry that I am wanting to talk and am in need of closer. He sits unemotionally as i weep about the ending of our very serious relationship. I go to the bed, he sleeps on the couch. The morning comes and his cell is blowing up at 8am while he's in the shower Stupidly I go to turn it off and his text messages come up. Sexting, sexting another girl while he is still sleeping on my couch. A girl i found out he was talking to months ago that he swore was JUSY a friend. Needless to say I needed him to move out that day.
Tags: Heartbreak, breakup
Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.
So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.
This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..
So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.
I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.
So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!
We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.
So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..
How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!
But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?
It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,
a heartbroken girl
Tags: example1
My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.
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