Broken Hearted's Breakup Story in California

Broken Hearted

March 14, 2010 @ (California)

I was with my boyfriend for a year when one morning I wake up and check my e-mail to find his ex had emailed me. She lives in France now and we are here in the states. The e-mail stated that they had been exchanging e-mails for 6 months and that they were going to get together the next time she was here (which was the week I got the email). She also says that he still loves her and wants to be with her. I confronted him and he acted very confused by the whole situation. He still proclaims that he never spoke with her while we were together. Anyways, this led me to not trust him so I started lurking on his e-mail where I find that he has been replying to casual encounters on craigslist and even posted a No strings attached ad. I confronted him with this and he said it was because he got bored one night and was just messing with the people on craigslist. I tried for 4 months to get over everything that happened. My gut told me he was lying, but he is a great guy and I love him so much. This morning I woke up to find pictures of some ugly fat girl in his email and another response to a craigslist ad. I decided that I couldn't take it anymore so I got dressed and drove to his house. I sat outside debating whether or not to wake him up and break it off. Which I did. He cried and says he doesn't want to lose me. He still says that he didn't cheat on me and that he never talked to his ex, but I've never been the person to be so sad and depressed as I am now. I broke up with him today because I need to remember who I used to be before him. He was my first boyfriend and this is the exact reason why I stayed single for 20 years. He was an amazing boyfriend and I just don't understand why he did this to me or what I did to deserve this. I don't know where to go from here.