Searching for "me"

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Anonymous

December 01, 2014 @ (Hong kong)

Back in 2012, a new guy came to my school. Every girl was obsessed with him and thought that he was handsome and all, including me. That guy was also the one who made me fall in love with him. But not only me, but together with 3-4 other girls at the same time. On September 28th, we were having a party because of a girl's bday. That guy was there as well, and it came out that the guy actually liked the girl who was having her bday there. Me (and all the others) saw them kissing and all.. I started to cry in front of everyone because I just couldn't handle it..
After a few months I finally got over him. Until November 2013, he told me that he already liked me since September 2013, but the matter was : he was still with that girl. They were sexually active and all. I didn't accepted him or something but I still kept talking to him, because deep in my heart I still liked him.
March 2014, we were together since now. In this time I learned that he has a really bad temper and gets mad at the smallest things. I had mood swings for 4-5 months when I was with him.
In July 2014, I went to a foreign country for the whole summer. He freaked out and kept on blaming me for leaving, he kept telling me that we would break up, and scolded at me with a lot of foul language.
I felt so miserable and didn't know what to do.
At the last week of my holiday I decided to break up with him, cause he treated me just like rubbish. When he heard that we were going to break up, he freaked out even worse than before, he threatened me that he would kill himself, and stuff like that.
When I was back, he was at the airport with a huge board, all about our stories and the happy things we've been through and all the little things that I thought he was supposed to forget.
We went back together again, but yesterday I discovered that he haD token nude pics of himself and his ex, when they were still in a relationship. That broke me, because he never had told me anything about his ex. I felt like I was just being lied to, these 8 months. He just said that the past is in the past, and things like this. He doesn't understand my feelings at all. He still keeps his exes diys and pictures on his laptop, thinking that I didn't know. At the beginning, he made me feel so special that I thought that we would never break up and stuff, now I'm just crying and crying and crying.
I told him that I want one week to think about what I should do and that I need to analyse everything. He begged me to not break up with him again because he told me that I'm his "everything" and all.
I'm just broken by the fact that he didn't told me these things. Every time I hear these things, it's never from him, it's always one of my friends who tell me this. I feel so fucked up right now and feel like I've been lied on for these 8 months.

13 With A Broken Heart

October 31, 2014 @ (timor leste )

Tags: bad break up

I was going out with this girl for 3 weeks she came up to me at school and told me that she loved me. She also told me that people have been saying that I loved her too which I still do. they were mostly my best friends who told her. She was very shocked and happy at the same time. She came up to me and said I love you and i asked her out the very next day. I was very happy and so was she. Everybody in school said we looked really cute together.

The third day I told a friend of mine that I was dating her because he didn't know. He started blackmailing her to break up with me or he'll tell the head of the school. We had a rule of dating is not allowed in our school for some reason. My friend turned out to be my enemy, he liked her too that's why he blackmailed her. When i got home from school I went in Facebook and then she told me that she is breaking up with me. It's been a week and 1 day now i am heart broken.... :'(

Adox

October 26, 2014 @ (Oxfordshire)

Tags: Bad breakup

Hi

I've been with my gf for 2 years 2 months and it was love at first sight. We met online and realised we lived in the same town about 400 yards from each other.

We went clubbing as she Is quite the party girl, likes to drink and forget her worries and that's one of a million reasons why I love her so much.

The first year of our relationship was the typical fairy tale, we told each other how much we love each other and want to be this way forever. It was a dream that everyone wanted.

The second year however has been tough. In November last year, we found out we was expecting our little baby together which was fantastic news but it wasn't an easy pregnancy (both have kids from previous relationships) she was constantly in pain, being sick and found it hard to be a normal mother. Then she lost one of her horses that she adored so much, I supported her as much as I could but she put on a brave face and marched on. Finally her dad fell ill with cancer, he lives in the highlands of Scotland so she doesn't see him often but that's what's upsetting her most I think. But to top it all off, now she isn't pregnant, she wants to party again and have her me time, which I understand but our time has vanished. I get extremely jealous when she does go out because that's the only time I see her smile :( when she gets in, usually early hours of the morning, I interrogate her asking her about whether other men have been around her. I'm my own worst enemy because I imagine situations that never happened and believe what never exists.

I had the courage last night to ask her if this relationship is worth saving, she replied I do not know. I asked if she loves me and again the answer was I do not know. I broke there and then, I didn't know how to be anymore. So I asked where do we go from here and she asked me for a break where I move out, restrict contact so she can have space and time to think about what she wants.

Today is the day Iove out and I won't see her or maybe here from her till her head has been cleared and she can concentrate on exactly what she wants.

I'm lost without her, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I feel sick all the time, I'm shaking all the time for I do not know if the outcome is going to be what I hope for but time is needed to pass and as I cry typing this, I fear the answer is there, written on her face but is going to take time for the answer.

I must do what it takes to stop being a jealous man if I'm ever going to prove what I'm worth and in time I hope she sees me as she did before

Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

Shannon James

October 22, 2014 @ (bolton)

Tags: breakups

Well i met this guy who understood me for me? who never put me down..but all he ever did is lie to me i lost every bit of hope,he wasnt the guy i met him as.i never make him happy i dont know what i do wrong i just be my self?its like im not good enough most nights i cry.i act dead normal about the sitaution but deep down i love him to pieces but he lies to me all the time?he's toothfaced slags people off i dont know what to do?

Lonelyperson

October 11, 2014 @ (Malaysia)

Tags: bad break up, sad break up

The second year of school i was scared... to be in a new class. The first year i never have friends i was always alone always getting bullied. the second year im scared it might be worst.. but.. i met a girl who was so kind and caring for me.. 2 months past we cared each other as friends. its time i told her i loved her.. and on the day she accepted it because she was in love with me also. we been through a lot together. we are always together to fix anything together. one day she started to change into a diffrent person. she dont care me like how she use to she dont love me like how she use to. but i told her i will always love her with all my heart and never leave her. she said she wont give up on us and will be forever with me. we promise each other. one day she said maybe we should break up..she said sorry i give up on us.. sorry i break our promise.. that day.. i never believed in forever anymore.. i cried everyday.. and she was so happy without me. she flirts with other boys. then.. we started talking again.. we got back together again.. after a week the last day of school i told her i will make her happy again. that night i said sweet things and told her how beautiful she was. we had a awesome night. then.. we went to bed. tomorrow her mum found out we where dating she couldnt accept it.. and my GF said sorry i have to leave.. but she said why when she was with her ex her mum accepted it... she said maybe because im not chinese.... and she said.. at least we are friends... everything went crashing down. she started being happy again with out me. i started being alone again.. no friends.. nothing.. and she saved me when i was in a dark room.. she light up my room but now she left.. its worst then before.. i tot we could be married... and.. Grow old together... i wanted to call her.. she said maybe tomorrow.. then tomorrow i ask can i call she pretend she didnt hear it.. and we stop talking.... i just needed.. the phone call.. to tell her how much i love her.. before she leave.. but.. i didnt get that call..

Justanothergirl.

October 04, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad break up, sad break up

Year 9:
I met him on a train, he went to my brother school.
September 17th 2012, he asked me out.

Year 11:
Almost two years, we were the strongest couple in our school, he was kind, caring, perfect, we won prince and princess at our school formal.
I often overreacted at some stuff, and whenever i did i would always pull the "lets break up then" card, but we always worked them out, always! We were so tight, and he was so clingy and i loved that about him.
Then one day we had a fight, we were skyping and he shared screens with me and it was porn, and then he quickly hung up and said "i don't know how it got there." I wasn't mad, just upset, i couldn't even satisfy my own boyfriend, my self esteem dropped i guess. He knew i was upset and kept asking if i was mad, and i chucked the "lets take a break then" card. I regret it.
He didn't even fight for me.
He texted me a day before my birthday that "I hurt him too much" and he "couldn't handle it" 5 days before our 2 year anniversary.

To think that they guy who planned your whole future together, told you where he was going to propose, how many kids you two were having, break up with you, yeah. that sucks.

Am I in the wrong? Ah, im so confused.

Ksofia

October 23, 2014 @ (Tampa )

Tags: Bad break upj

Well I met this boy in high school a year and a half ago, he wasn't even the tipe of guys I would go for, we were complete opposites, but we became good friends for about two months and started dating. We hit it of so well it was one of my most amazing loves. Through out our relationship there was this girl that would always want contact him and I never trusted her, me and him would have disputes everytime she messaged him it never stopped. When I told him to block her on facebook she had a tumbler with a nudes picture of her self and she massaged him through there as well, when I found that I told him to delete it. I thought finally she would stop. Anyways one day he comes home and just breaks up with me no reason or explanations I was shocked so heartbroken. And I couldnt help but think it was because of her.. The next day I texted him and Told him I would pick him up from work to talk, we did and he treated me like he'd never shared a life with me. A complete jerk! All he kept saying was "I need time" and he claimed to still love me. He even said that after time passes he would make up his mind about us, giving me false hope. All for what? I couldn't take it anymore, decided to hack all his social medias and it turns out had been talking to this girl months before. This girl is honestly the lowest of the lowest, and he completely disgust me. I thought so high of him, believing his every promise and it turn out he's was just a liar. And would drop me all for some girl that told him showed him and promises to do all sorts of nasty things to him. i wish he would have broken up with me before starting all these things with this girl. Thats what hurt the most. All this happened behind my back. I'm glad I get to move on and not have to worry about him because honestly he's not even the list not worth it anymore.

Enamiran

October 05, 2014 @ (algeria)

Tags: sad

i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)

Lovell

October 05, 2014 @ (California )

Tags: Sad breakup

It was my Junior year of high school and his sophomore year, we met through an activity that we loved greatly. At first I didn't really notice him until one day he came up to me and randomly asked for my number..it was the first time that ever happened to me. He was cute but I didn't think anything of it since I was caught up with another boy who was a complete asshole in the end (dummy). So we became good friends, but eventually he'd fall in love with me but I wasn't sure if I wanted a boyfriend. Well senior year started and we went on a trip, we ended up holding hands randomly, I started to realize that he was someone I wanted to be with and I was ready to invest myself into someone. That night we shared an amazing kiss under the stars and our friends actually clapped with joy. We were together for 7 months, never argued, we were happy, so happy that I actually believed he was the one. He was my best friend, my happiness. Well once I graduated he started putting space between us, I began to be very depressed. After a few weeks he didn't think it would work. I told him we could make it work but he chose the easy way out and let me go. It pains me that he didn't want to go into this new chapter in my life with me because he promised he'd never leave. I'm still grieving after 3 long months, hopefully I can be happy again but only time heals wounds.