Tags: any advice...
Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???
Tags: good ridance
We dated for a year and a half on and off for our own multiple reasons. He'd break up with me and come back, today was our 5th...not first..not second. 5TH time we've broken up, he went to a camp over the weekend met someone and is now ignoring me. I've IM'd him for the last time saying "fuck you. karma's a bitch & I hope she breaks your heart" & blocked him. I gave him all my love, he told me I made him feel ontop of the world, I always tried my best with him. May it be fights, his problems..anything. But I guess he never loved me at all, probably faked the whole relationship. This is the last time I'll ever shed tears for him, that jerk.
Tags: example1
6 yrs ago I started dating one of my best guy friends itswas the best of both worlds for me and him we fell in true love for each other there was so much passion in our relationship very steamy!! We datedfor about three years we were young I was eighteen in a very serious relationship I was ready to make him it my world... we had our fights n ill admitt I used to take them to anotheer level I just never felt that much for someone!! I know he would say it to...he left me for another girl....who had nothing on me she literally looked like a hooker but anyway left me n told me I'm the girl he wants to marry and well meet back up but were too young too serious.. I was heartbroken I didn't kno what to do but to fight to save our love and it didn't work it pushed him further... now that was four years ago and I still think of him everyday I miss him sooo much I can't even put it in words...a yr after we broke up I meet someone moved in had a baby who is almost two!! But I can't get him outa my mind/heart I still see him here and there and when were in the room together we vibe and it feels like it used to before we dated. But when people are around he's shy he only looks at me for two seconds to say hi and bye what do u people think I kno he still loves me I can tell but does it look like ill be with the love of my life again??
Tags: breakup
Well, I was going out with a beautiful girl for a little under 2 years. Both of us were madly in love and all that stuff that goes along with it. We did everything together, always had a good time, knew everything there was to know about eachother, etc. It went great for the first year and a half besides some fights here and there. After that it went down hill. Our relationship started getting shaky. She tried everything possible to keep us together, and I gave it my all, too. To sum up 5 months of emotional pain and self evaluation, I fell out of love with her. I felt horrible and it showed, but I couldnt tell her why. Eventually I couldnt bear it anymore and broke up with her. I broke her heart and she went into depression and all her friends hated my guts including her. I really wish it didnt have to end that way. She wont talk to me and hasnt since then. If only she could be friends with me.. Our romantic relationship will never pick up again, but I would do anything to be her friend again.
Tags: Tags
My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.
We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.
Tags: cheat heartbreak
So, I had an extremely huge crush on a girl in my class for almost a year. She was way out of my league, so I spent most of my time daydreaming. One night, she told me she liked me, for a long time. I was shocked, yet happy. We hung out, then I proceeded to ask her out. She said, "Of Course!". About 1 month and a half into the relationship, on her birthday, I came over to her house to surprise her with gifts and balloons. She loved it. That night, I went to a concert with my bestfriend. I lost my phone while there and asked him if I could borrow his to make a call. I used my friend's phone to call my girlfriend to tell her what happened. Just after, I stumbled upon text messages on my friend's phone from my girlfriend. The messages were too friendly. I died inside. After a week of confusion, I had to break up with her, and I had to stop being friend's with my best friend...of 11 years. My ex kept denying everything, that "She was just trying to be friendly" I didn't listen. A few days later, I found out that she never told anyone that we were going out. She kept the relationship a big secret. She told her friends that I never asked her out. She flirted with numerous guys while I thought we were going out. She was even secretly dating another guy behind my back too. The same thing happened to him too. I was the victim of a game she liked to play. She lied to me, cheated, and made me lose my best friend. She took my heart out, branded it, and gave it back to me.
Tags: Parent Interference
Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.
Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.
For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.
Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.
Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.
Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.
Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.
She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.
If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.
Tags: Why does this happpen
I have posted my story and it was the first time I ever had something like this happen.
My question after reading other peoples stories is this.
While everyone says move on thats all you can do. Others try to take revenge but my question is why?
Why do people of today treat people with such little respect. Sex is seen as nothing more than a social event when that is never what it was designed for. It was meant for marriage.
Look at all the media around you (sex sells) look at we as a people and what we are becoming. People are so selfish that they forget that the one thing you do is put the other individual above yourselves.
We are all here because the person we thought we could trust, believe in, give our lives to, want to be with for the rest of our lives, etc. Left or broke us. How many of us have done this to others. Yes many times it's better that we split (abusive or harmful) but at the same time its become normal to break people's hearts and souls and in some cases we still don't know why the other did it.
I am challenging all of you since you have gone through a breakup to stop and think. Don't just jump into bed. Look at the person in the face and ask is this the woman or man I can spend my life with. Waking up to their face every morning and never getting tired of it.
Don't let your emotions run your life. Stop the cycle that the world has said is normal. Stop having sex just because it feels good. Or you are lonely. Grow up and set an example for others to follow.
Tags: JoLeigh
My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.
Tags: 8 year dream
I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray
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