Jordyn's Breakup Story in California - YouBrokeUpHow.com (uBUH)

Jordyn

October 19, 2012 @ (California )

Tags: Breakup long term relationship

I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?

Comment on this breakup

Wendy

November 09, 2012

I fee for u dear girl. This exact thing happened to me. I stopped partying long time ago before we started dating n he knew what kind of rship he was getting into, just like u. We appreciated each other so much, I was the happiest woman around. Friends nv thought he would leave me. But he left me one day after our first anniversary. With the same exact reason. Fear of commitment n "I still want to hv fun". I beg n cried n basically lost every single dignity I hv begging him n crying in front of ppl. Some men just dont know what they have. At young age all they want is fun n friends play an important role. If his friends r idiots, he will bcome n idiot. My advice is, gather yourself back together n start to live. You don't need him to b happy. U don't need any men to b happy. Just start loving yourself. That's the first thing u should do. You hv let him make u hate urself too much. U probably blame urself for not being the best gf for him. That's not right. He just doesn't hv the right mind now as he's blinded with all those insignificant fun out there. He will realize once his brain develops :). Don't hioe for him to come back. Focus on gathering yourself back n start letting your hair down girl! If he's meant to b yours, he will come back after realizing his mistakes. But just dont hope for him. Cry if u hv to.. Get used to the pain n don't avoid. You will heal. That's guarantee. All the best!

Beth

November 01, 2012

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. He needs to have this feeling handed back to him so he understands what a gem he had. You are young and so passionate for life, smart beyond your years. The feelings you're having are painful. When you put 110% in, it hurts 110%. So here comes the advise (coming from a female who acted like your ex when I was young): Stay real to yourself & do the things you enjoyed so much with your ex but on your own. You will meet new people. Keep your values while attending college because you will look back & hold your head high knowing you were not the nearsighted party. It's sad because he is going to expect to be treated with respect in his future relationships and will get a hard dose of reality. Try to keep your heart a little more guarded, now that you feel the impact of a broken one. Make sure to have a ring on your finger before picturing a future w/ someone. It hurts to let go of the past, but it hurts even worse and is scary when you have to re-write your entire future because of someone else's decision. You have a lot to offer so make sure he is worthy of it. After anger comes acceptance which means peace. You are on the road to recover. All my advice has a common thread & it's YOU. :) If he does come back, make sure it's what you want because now it has become a trust issue, but at the same time you are in love & loving means to accept the other person's faults. Don't be friends with him & let him wallow in filth if that's what he wants because that is what he will get. I wish you the best & that this heart break does not break your spirit as well.

emily

October 25, 2012

ive been there but the thing is that you cant stay bitter you have to move on. First of all get rid of everything that reminds you of him gifts, clothes, birthday cards anything then delete him from your life, * your phone anything you need to cleanse yourself from him as much as you miss him he obviously dosnt miss you and if one day he does coming back to you then great but until that day comes you cant wait around for him. im sorry but no one wants to come back to a needy ex if he one day bumps into you and he see's how great your doing without him chances are he'll remember all the great times you had together. I know its hard but you have to leave him behind i hope this helps even a tiny bit but ive been there so i know what your going through. Feel better