Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

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I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.

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So Sorry!

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Kate

May 30, 2012

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whoops thats weird with the repeat. You are right because all one can do is move on and not being around their ex is the best way. Jake listen you do need to get away from her because it only brings you down. You will never forget what she did and the scars will always remind you but you will push forward I promise.

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Kate

May 30, 2012

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Wow chelsea im a girl too and I say what happened to both of these guys was wrong. If you really love someone you dont just get over them. It takes time and in johns case it was a good example. How shallow does that make us sound as women. She just found someone better. Are you kidding! Grow up child because clearly you have done this to guys and justified your reasoning in the wrong way. Well I deserve better and in some cases that is true but you dont need to hurt someone or run away to do that.

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Chelsea

May 30, 2012

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I was simply pointing out that the poster should accept that this relationship is over, and stop trying to contact his ex and pass judgement on her current relationship. The fact that she had to block his number speaks volumes. Obviously what she did was not kind, but it sure seems to me like she was giving pretty clear signals about her interest before the breakup. I apologize for using the word "girls." What I meant was that PEOPLE move on, and the OP should do the same. Number one rule is to stop putting oneself in a position where you see your ex with other people.

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Kate

May 30, 2012

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Wow chelsea im a girl too and I say what happened to both of these guys was wrong. If you really love someone you dont just get over them. It takes time and in johns case it was a good example. How shallow does that make us sound as women. She just found someone better. Are you kidding! Grow up child because clearly you have done this to guys and justified your reasoning in the wrong way. Well I deserve better and in some cases that is true but you dont need to hurt someone or run away to do that.

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John L.

May 30, 2012

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*Chelsea: No and I dont appreciate being called one. I give others the link to my story bec I know what it's like to be hurt and I am over it but for you to say something like that is rather immature considering you dont know me. My comment was not meant for u it was meant for jack.

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Chelsea

May 30, 2012

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It sounds like she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to be with you. Girls move on. It's not a defense mechanism, she just found someone she likes more than you. It's not the end of the world. Stop trying to contact her, and stop hanging out in places where she hangs out, at least until you get over it. John L., you are a stalker. It's creepy. Stop talking about your failed relationship from two years ago and get over it.

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John L.

May 28, 2012

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Well look at it this way my ex did something very similar. My story is under the browse and popular tab. This is what I am guessing happened. She didnt know what she wanted and got all confused in her head. She then told you she loved you but at the same time she wanted something new but didnt know what that was. My ex said she loved me, etc. Told me 5 times that there was always hope that I would be with her. Then kept cheating on me. The truth is they dont even know why they do it. Logic is thrown out the door and there is no such thing as honor and integrity when they get in this state of mind and its usually when emotions control them rather than their brain. They lose all respect for themselves and hurt us nice guys that try to help them, put up with them, and encourage them. Nothing makes any sense and the more you try to figure it out, the more it kinda hurts. I was accused of being a stalker, that she never loved me, I in some way became her ex, Just some weird crap then she even said she was sorry for accusing me of things her ex was and then when I spoke with her family I became those things again bec. If I was all those things its much easier for her to justify her decisions. So take heart you are not alone. If you have any other questions look at my story it may help

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