Golden614's Breakup Story in AZ - YouBrokeUpHow.com (uBUH)

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

Comment on this breakup

SLMVP

June 23, 2011

It is going to be hard for a long time, but move on and don't be his friend. You will take longer to heal if you stay friends with him. What happens when he find another women? I dated a person for 5 years, just like you we were happy. After 4 years we got engaged. I dropped out of college, to work 3 jobs so he could finish his master Degree first, and then I would go back to school. A week before he finished he came home and told me he does not love me any more. I was shock and hurt. I had left my family and moved to a new state with this person. I found out he was cheating on me. I did not care, I pleaded with him to stay with me. Words cannot say how I felt. I tried hurting my self. After I came home from the Hospital The apt was empty. He had moved out and took everything. He used me, He never love me. It was very hard day to day. It took me 2 years to start putting my life back together. I moved on and found the man of my dreams. We have been together now for 18 years. I always wonder what happen to my Ex. 20 Years later I found him on FB. He Married the women he cheated on me with 6 months after he left me. I hope he is happy. He will get his in the end some day. Move on your mister Right is out their.

KMO

May 10, 2011

i understand you completely. i wrote the break up letter under yours. trust me its hard, and i'm still going through the motions, but the best piece of advice i can give u is to be his friend, because he'll see what hes missing. but just dont fall for the stupid friends with benefits shit, ever. he will come back, hes just lost :) u need to understand that if u argue with him and take it out on him it will only drive him away from you, so just accept it and pretend everything is ok, and eventually he will come back. i hope this helps.