John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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John L.

July 24, 2012

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The dream played through and I said my vows only this time I was finally able to remove her veil and see her face. This time I kissed her as we both smiled and I carried her out the front of the church in my arms and woke up. Well time passed and well I couldn’t find anyone. So I was at home one evening while my sis was out with her boyfriend (now her husband). A friend asked me if he could have a ride to a pizza place at 9:30. I wasn’t going to go because I had already eaten; but something just told me to get my butt in gear and go. So I called him back and said lets go. Now I was in Digital media at the time so not too many good looking girls lol. I was sitting there with the group but off to the side because I didn’t know them very well and in walked a girl with reddish blonde wavy and or curly hair. Now I had almost forgotten the dream because it had been a year. She sat down beside me and when one guy moved her chair she moved it back. I ended up asking her to go to church that Sunday and we went. After church I decided what the heck so I asked her out on a date and two days before my 23 birthday I went out on my first date thus fulfilling my goal for myself but just funny how it all worked out. I will add more tomorrow.

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John L.

July 24, 2012

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So I finally went off to college and while still praying I had actually told God I was tired of waiting. Here I was 22 years old still single and never been on a date.Most would think boy you must have been butt ugly.I was a model with my sis for two years so no.So I told God this, I said God I am tired of being alone, I’m tired of waiting for this girl or any girl for that matter.My sister is practically getting married and here I am never even having held or kissed a girl. I’m done waiting and my goal (yes brace yourself for total lameness) is to go on a date by the time I am 23 years old (at the time was nearly a year away) That night I had the same dream I had not had in almost two years (remember these dreams occurred randomly over 6 years and there were 6 total).

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John L.

July 24, 2012

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As the years passed I tried to keep hopeful spirits and I kept praying. Throughout the years I ha a total of 4 more dreams so five in total. Each dream playing as if on a recording from beginning to end. I began in the back of the church, I ended up on the stage waiting for someone. Finally a man appeared with his daughter. I could see his face but not hers. The man who I would later meet years from this dream (my ex’s dad) had me look him in the eyes and promise him that I would take care of his daughter for the rest of my life. I said I promise and with that I took her hand and walked her up the steps and saw my pastor who later became my pastor. I said the vows but could not hear her voice nor see her face under the veil. Only that her face shined brighter than a star. In my dream I pleaded for God to let me see something, anything to look for. With that a small amount of red wavy hair fell down her right shoulder. I woke up and for the next three years I began to search for a girl who had reddish curly hair and shined brighter than a star.

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John L.

July 24, 2012

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To better understand who I am and everything about the events that led to the end of my affair and or relationship I will start at the beginning. All my life I was raised a Christian home and with those morals and values. To be honest, kind, to help others, to believe in people, to always have faith even in the worst of times and to be better than the world but have the humility to look at yourself as being no different than anyone else. In other words I am no better than anyone else but to make the decisions to be an example for others. The only problem with living like this is most people push you away. I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex, nor did I ever have the rebellious phase of my life. So I have never been like most people lol. As I mentioned before this road is a lonely one for you cannot be of both God and the world.No I am not a super Christian. People see you as being boring, not having any fun but in truth how is this even fun? Anyway back on topic for sixteen years I had never been on a date, had a few crushes but nothing serious bec. I was the shy guy. At sixteen I began to pray that God would show me the girl I was to marry or bring her into my life. Most would agree this is too young to be thinking of such a thing but I was made fun of on a regular basis and I knew what it was like to be hurt. Therefore I never wanted to hurt someone like that. About half way through the year I had my first dream. Started in the back of the church and then appeared on the stage. So I began to pray on a daily basis that God would bring me to this girl and her to me and show me who she was.

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John L.

July 22, 2012

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I will start typing it tomorrow evening. However I ask that you keep an open mind. Don't say something to bash it completely. I will be sharing something that still brings up a great amount of pain for me. It will be over the next week or maybe longer. Not sure yet how much I want to share. I guess I will do the best I can. For those who read what I will type up, I am not here for sympathy, or anything. I am simply putting my story up to help others and may you learn something. I will put up my entire story from beginning to end maybe even in the hope that you will never do something like this to someone. I ask that you hold your comments until I put The End on the last comment

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jesse

July 18, 2012

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yeah i know right i just finished redecorating three rooms .... real busy... ill try to get on next month -.-

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jesse

July 18, 2012

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yeah i know right i just finished redecorating three rooms .... real busy... ill try to get on next month -.-

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Johnl

July 21, 2012

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Sorry been super busy with work and stuff. I will put it up as soon as i get some rest. Remembering that stuff takes a toll.

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jesse

July 20, 2012

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ooh..oops i just realized what that might have sound like... i was helping him fix a room up .. we tore up the rug and everything ... so whatever happened to that tearful story u were gunna tell me?

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jesse

July 19, 2012

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and ill try to come back...my boyfriend is kinda demanding for attention right now...

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