John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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jesse

January 20, 2012

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ooh and chris i do agree with you to some degree but stop being such a dick head lol.

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jesse

January 20, 2012

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i just read this and well your not going to like this but what the hell were you thinking giving her those 200 $ earings when you knew and allowed her to cheat on you with her ex?? and its kind of obvious that she doesnt really give a crp about you so why did you waste your time on her..oh yeah bec you had a dreaam of her and you together-what is wrong with you?dreams are not psychic powers where you can tell who ur going to be with for the rest of your damn life.. science even shows that most of your dreams are turned on bec. of our selfish hormones. and no matter how romantic and fairytale like this whole thing was-wake up! this is the real world..not some nicholas sparks novel. ik its kind of hard to take this and deal with it but she only wanted to have fun and you took the bate... you gotta wake up and realize that this all was yes a sad depressing disappointing mistake but then again you got yourself into this.. and if your going to stay true to yourself you need move on. im sure there will be others also that will break your man heart but somehow somewhere in the mess you will find the one. you just have to give it some time..i mean you sound like a very very mature guy but notice that you still got things to sort out before yu meet the person that will change your life-in a good way.in truth, i really do think your a great guy and that what happened to you was tragic but i know that you will get passed this and become the man that you want to be with the woman you love.

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John L.

January 07, 2012

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here is the link for the song again Called Someone worth dying for by mikeshare http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSoAkJXjxiU

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Alisea

January 03, 2012

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Hey, we were talking the other day. Lele, and I don't know what happened hopefully, you can get back to me. Because I want to continue to talk.. This really has touched me.

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Alisea

January 03, 2012

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Hey, I am sorry to hear that.

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J

December 24, 2011

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It's been a year and a bit now since u first posted ur story... U need to stop obsessing about these painful feelings about this wicked gurl and move on!!!!!!!! She kept causing u pain and u still kept her in ur life... what's that phrase "sucker for punishment"??? Sorry that's probably offending u but im not sure else to say it. She caused a lot of heartache when she was with u and now she is continuing to do so this much time later. She also jeopardized one of your strong religious beliefs but it takes two, so can't really blame her for that. One time sex might have been a mistake but continuing to have sex with her says a lot... If u had to lose ur virginity to her just so she wouldn't be with anyone else means she didn't really respect u at all or love u for that matter. Don't let her win anymore... she is definitely not worth it and just used u for sex.... stop glamourizing what ur relationship really was because ur the only one was really INTO the relationship, not her. Try to read what Chris and Sped wrote in their comments below... although they are quite blunt and don't exactly use the nicest words there is some truth to what they are saying. Don't let this girl ruin 2012 for you! Get on with ur life!!

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Catherine

December 03, 2011

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I am sorry for what this young girl put you through. I know the pain of losing the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I admire what you did for her even after she hurt you so many times. You really are one of a kind in this world we live in. You have a kind and caring heart and you showed that by putting her first. I know so many others have put their comments on here many of which are designed to hurt and break you down further because they are selfish people. That girl didn't deserve you and yet you chose to help her. That says everything you need to know. Love hurts and we grow every day. I know it's not easy and you will never fully heal because she was your first. You are probably asking how do I get over someone that I loved so much because clearly it still hurts you on a daily basis. I wish I had the answer to that. Many say just move on but if they ever knew what love truly was, then they would know it's never that simple. I hope and pray you get the chance to sit down and really talk to her because I can tell you were never given that opportunity or she probably gave you one day. That's not enough for what you did for her.

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John L.

December 13, 2011

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The pain from how she did everything will scar me for the rest of my life and it has destroyed me inside as a person. I will never be the same men I was and while in some cases that is good for the most part it is not. I don't smile or laugh anymore and people ask why? This girl said our relationship was nothing but a mistake. Tell me what kind of mistake looks for one girl for 8 yrs based on 6 dreams, tells the girl you are better then this when she messed up and forgave her for cheating multiple times, and would say after becoming her outlet for all her anger and hate and say nomatter how much you hurt me I will always love and be there for you. I would have traded every moment we had sex just to hold her. I have had so many tell me I scared her bec I actually saw who she was and was trying to help her. I finally realized why this has screwed me up. It wasn't all the cheating, lies, manipulation, etc. That was a large part of it. It was the fact that she accused me when I spoke with her family that I was trying to hurt her. I would have given my life 100 times over just to see her happy. I am trying to move on but with nightmares of the guy she is still with etc. I still have heart problems bec of it. Do not lecture me that I am a pussy or some BS. I have suffered for over a year and broken down everything she did and why she did it. I wanted to find someone else but I have to find someone who will see me for who I am, not as a replacement for their ex. Also someone who will take someone who has been broken. I do not say this lightly nor for pity. I hope you are not the man she is with, thinking that attitude because many of the things you are saying chris are very similar to what she would have said.

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John L.

December 13, 2011

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The pain from how she did everything will scar me for the rest of my life and it has destroyed me inside as a person. I will never be the same men I was and while in some cases that is good for the most part it is not. I don't smile or laugh anymore and people ask why? This girl said our relationship was nothing but a mistake. Tell me what kind of mistake looks for one girl for 8 yrs based on 6 dreams, tells the girl you are better then this when she messed up and forgave her for cheating multiple times, and would say after becoming her outlet for all her anger and hate and say nomatter how much you hurt me I will always love and be there for you. I would have traded every moment we had sex just to hold her. I have had so many tell me I scared her bec I actually saw who she was and was trying to help her. I finally realized why this has screwed me up. It wasn't all the cheating, lies, manipulation, etc. That was a large part of it. It was the fact that she accused me when I spoke with her family that I was trying to hurt her. I would have given my life 100 times over just to see her happy. I am trying to move on but with nightmares of the guy she is still with etc. I still have heart problems bec of it. Do not lecture me that I am a pussy or some BS. I have suffered for over a year and broken down everything she did and why she did it. I wanted to find someone else but I have to find someone who will see me for who I am, not as a replacement for their ex. Also someone who will take someone who has been broken. I do not say this lightly nor for pity. I hope you are not the man she is with, thinking that attitude because many of the things you are saying chris are very similar to what she would have said.

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John L.

December 13, 2011

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Because that is not who I am. I will not have sex again until I am married. I only gave it to her because of the dreams. Girls deserve more respect than what you described. They are not objects to have sex with or do things to make us feel better then abandon. I would rather suffer than ever use someone like that. If you read my story then you would know that I would never hurt any girl. Answer this question, start over with what? I have nothing left to give to anyone else. Her words and actions warped my perspective on who women are and what they want in a relationship. Dont ever talk to he again, hmm interesting statement. I saw her 3 mpre times and never said a word. She would not even acknowledge me. That is incredibly disrespectful and uncalled for. Simply bec like everything else she wants to throw it away. No human should treat another in such a manner. Very curious as to how you found this page since it shouldnt have been on the main page

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