Searching for "painful"

27 Results For 'painful'

Sarah

November 06, 2015 @ (austin tx)

So, I have had my fair share of bad breakups, bad relationships and just bad times... when i met him, i just fell head of heals. one he was so good looking, i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world being able to call him mine.. he had the most amazing heart, so pure and always trying to be closer to God... I admired him so much for his humble personality and strive to be a better man... i loved him and he fell in love with me... but after time, we realized we both wanted different things, he didn't want to travel, he wanted to stay in the same small town, he didn't care for finishing college as i wanted to eventually get my doctorates... he said he felt like we just weren't compatable.. and it broke my heart but when it happened... i remembered my breakup before him and how i would lean on drinking and clubbing to find comfort only to lead myself into an even more painful path... this time, i decided to read the bible, to pray more.. and i am still trying to do so... things happen in our life, that makes us want to crawl into bed and never get up... but we have to be strong, and that strength doesn't come from drinking, or partying or hooking up with other people... it comes from the one who know us better than anyone else, the one who died so that we can have a chance... i dont know if you believe in God of not... or if you are struggling with faith, or if you just don't know about God, but when something happens in your life that brings you down... God could be using it as an opportunity to draw him closer to you... cause it's at our weakest that his strength shines the brightest... losing my boyfriend sucked, it broke my heart and i had to deal with a lot of self esteem issues... but i'm trying every day to be happy... to see the bigger picture... to be able to say i may not be fine right now, but God has a plan for me...
i just encourage anyone with a broken heart to pray, it is so powerful and can really make a difference... it is for me at least

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

Broken (part 4)

April 21, 2015 @ (toronto)

Tags: bad breakup

Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.

Keijo

March 31, 2015 @ (Estonia)

Tags: Horrible break-up, devastated

I met my love of my life about 5-6 years ago but didn't know that back then. We used to chat a lot but somehow this chatting faded. About a year ago we started talking to each other again. For a while it was a normal, everyday friends talk but at one moment I felt that she was the one who was meant for me and I said I had feelings for her. She was kind of shocked but I believe in a good way. This truly was the best feeling in my 19 years. So, eventually we were together and everyday I fell deeper in love. This feeling was undescribable. I genuinely was the happiest man on earth. Everything was great and we were happy. But since we were living quite far from each other things started going not so well. We argued about pointless things, both being extremely stubborn. About 6 months our relationship had ups and downs but it really didn't matter because she was still my little princess and i loved her even more. About 3 weeks ago, we had a horrific quarrel which ended with me saying that she was disgusting. It was said because of the emotion that i had at that time. I had never felt so bad in my life. Honestly, i wanted to kill myself because of that saying. After that she obviously was angry and disappointed in me and she had all the reasons in the world to be mad at me because, after all i was a complete jerk. So i apologized about 100 times. A bit later i thought everything was okay until today. She had been aloof, she didn't talk to me as often as she used to. I thought it was about me... And then the painful reality struck. I asked why is she behaving like that and she told that... When I said that bad thing to her, she was so shooked up, she went to a nightclub, had drinks and one thing led to another.. she kissed another man. And she had held that in her all that time. I was devastated, i didn't know what to do. She was so embarrassed about what she did and didn't want to be with me anymore because of that one mistake. She isn't that type of girl who kisses random guys. She knows it and I know it. I said that i forgive her but it wasn't enough. My heart is broken, shattered to pieces. Since she was my everything, I really don't know how am I gonna live on. I truly hope that she changes her mind and that love against me is stronger than feeling guilty about what was done.
I really love her. I don't know what to do...

Anonymous

November 10, 2014 @ (Canada)

Tags: painful

My history start when i left my back home to came and study in Canada. That was the first time when i was about to start living on my own. I didn't have any acquaintances in this unknown country. Luckily when i cam here i got a guy from the same nationality of mine who has been here for a very long time and was very helpful. He was a married guy yet he was so very helpful and all i was thinking was that his wife was aware that he was helping a girl who just moved in this country. Gradually we became friend and he did a lot for me but innocent as i was i never realized that behind this help of his was a different mind. he came to narrate to me how his wife and how their relationship doesn't work though living under the same roof and in doing he gain my pity and he gradually manipulated me in such a way that he made me felt in love with him and gradually forced me for sex when i mentioned to him no i want to loose my virginity for the one i get married. While being in this relationship he mentioned about his exes and he mentioned about one who still keep in touch as friend. I was like friend okay that's fine but each time he was taking me out or something he was always texting but i never realized that he would be texting her that much. he even took me to buy gifts and out of the blue he got her a gift as well and told me as a friend i was like okay when one day lying next to me i saw a text with the girl saying i love you and i miss you and i asked what was that and he said she still says so what can i do. After that his behaviour changed with me, he stopped texting or calling me and this was bothering so much that i had to ask what was happening and on the day of my exam he told we can't continue. i broke up and was so depressed but its after only that i came to know the reason was that he went back to her. After a couple of months he came back to me saying sorry and we started talking and my mistake was that i forgave him and accepted him again and after couple months he did the same thing he went back to her. I really cannot move on it been dragging for so long that i have been trying to move and thought we don't have anything to do together i keep sending him text each time he is online i tell me he is texting her or if his car isn't here i will say you meeting her and i kept asking why you did this and that and i can't stop monitoring him. i am fed up with my life.

Pauly

August 03, 2014 @ (Neverland)

Tags: shit happens, life goes on, confused,

I met him in high school. It was a whirlwind kind of love. Innocent, reckless, gentle, and daring. I did not realize it then, but I realized now how much I loved the way he smiles and the way he laughs. The way his messy hair falls on his eyes, and I brush it off. The way he takes my hand and pulls me into his warm embrace. But then, it was not always like that. He'd be so suspicious, so distrustful. He doesn't believe that I can just be friends with a guy. Even with a five year record, he can't bring himself to believe that I am just as head over heels for him. Funny how he almost broke up with me for another bitch.
All of a sudden he breaks up with me saying shit like he's ashamed because I'm way out of his league. Shit like he can't keep his hands off me. Shit like he's thinking what's better for me and that's a future without him. Well shit. It wasn't the first time, but it felt painfully like the last break up we will ever have. He comes crawling back and I happily accept him. He lies straight to my face, and I broke up with him. But Im having doubts.

Marie C

January 22, 2014 @ (Nevada)

Tags: embarrassing funny

He broke up with me because he met a girl that was more into Robotics than I was. I always knew he was a geek, but robotics? Really? It was more surprising/embarrassing than painful.

Lauren

November 13, 2013 @ (NY)

Tags: bad break ups, how to break up

I havent broken up with my boyfriend yet, but I'm about to. We have been together for 2 years. When we started dating I was still talking to my ex and that really hurt him(thats what he made me believe) and he made my life hell because I used to talked to my ex in our first month of being together. After like a month of being together I moved in with him and I dropped out of college, I quieted my job, I dint talk to my family, didnt have Any friends other than him. I did all that to show him that i really loved him and no one else. After a while I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, just like me, he was talking to his ex too and not only talking, after I moved in, He was begging her to go back with him. I also found out that he was inviting girls to go out. I also found out that in valentines day he didnt even say happy valentines day to me but he wrote his ex a big email saying how much he wanted to marry her and how much he loves her, and if she needed help, he was there for her. I found out all that almost after a year of us being together. Now we being together for more than 2 years on and off. We still leaving together. He has a son that I love like if he was my son, but he also has a step son (the son of his son's mom and they broke up like 7 years a go) and he is leaving with us and he is a fucking pain in the ass. But not only his step son leaves with us, my boyfriend's mom also leaves with us. Whenever she wants to yell at me she does, whenever she wants to be nice to me she is, but most of the time she doesnt talk to me. I dont work because if I work is a big fight because he doesnt want me to work. So, I have to be home taking care of his real kid, the pain in the ass of his step son, put up with my boyfriend's bitch mom and also put up with my boyfriends crap. On top all that he never complements, anything I do is enough for him. But after all that I'm still loving him and its been so painful every time we have broken up in the past and we always go back together within a month. I am soooo tired of this and i dont know how to break up forever because I'm afraid of the pain that I'm gonna feel plus i think of his real son that is like my son too.
So please I will appreciate any advice.

Yana

April 17, 2013 @ (California)

Tags: long distance

We met through a mutual friend who was very close to both of us. Before meeting, the mutual friend actually told my ex that we were "perfect for each other".
The first few times we hung out, always in a group of friends, I thought he was cocky and full of it, but I was intensely attracted to him. One night at a party, I noticed he was kind of following me around. Every where I was in the house, he was too. He was adorable and shy, and I was forced to re-examine my first impression of him. We ended up talking for hours alone that night and we somehow intuitively knew so much about each other despite having been acquainted for such a short time. It was one of those magical moments in life when two human beings who are basically strangers really "see" each other, and love what they see.
We fell in love very quickly and intensely over the next few weeks. Time was always running away from us; he was supposed to leave the state in just a few months.
A year of long distance bullshit later, he stopped responding to me. Said he needed to have some time to himself, to figure things out. A week later he broke up with me. The reasons were never really clear but I think mostly he needed his independence to carve out his own place in the world, and he didn't feel he could do that with the pressures of our relationship. He said we were like two kids caught up in a fairy tale, and he had been hit with reality. Our fairy tale was the most important thing to me. We shared dreams of building a treehouse and living there in the wilderness with our kids and dogs and little vegetable patch. We called each other soulmates and "love of my life". I believed in it with everything I had. For me, this was my partner in life.
I was in a state of physical and emotional shock for some time after the break up. We vowed to remain close, to remain best of friends, because we both believed that love never really dies - even when two people part ways. Six months later he told me again I was his soulmate. Three days later he started to ignore me, which he has continued to do since (4 months and counting). This has truly been the most painful part of the whole experience. I believed so completely that this person, regardless of the current status of our relations, would always support and love and acknowledge me . By ignoring me, he has made me feel invisible, worthless, and crazy. Sometimes I think I made everything up in my head or that it was some crazy dream. More than I grieve for a lost lover, I grieve for the loss of a genuine connection with a person, the kind which is very rare in our world.