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NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags


My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.


       

Ashes

August 11, 2010 @ (Canada)

Tags: sad, depressing


My boyfriend (now ex) started dating in my first year of highschool. It was one of those highschool relationships that you see on the movies, and who every teenage girl hopes to have. We were together all through out highschool. He was so in love with me. Honestly, Im pretty sure I could of gotten away with anything and he would always come back to me. A lot of it had to do with the fact that we were eachothers first time and lust/love was being thrown around together. But at the end of the day we really did love eachother and we had something that some people will never ever experience. We were best friends. We knew every single thing about eachother. It was a relationship where I could take a crap infront of him and that wasnt a problem at all! haha! at one point he even moved away for half a year and still we some how made it work. But then, oh i forgot to mention he is a year older than me! anyways, he started university and I was in my last year of highschool. Thats when everything changed. We had always had our problems. his was honesty issues, mine where anger issues. But once he moved on, it was like we were completley different people! I know... if any of you are reading this you are probably thinking my story is pretty boring. he never cheated on me with my sister, or i never left him at the alter. We were just two regular people who were at one moment so in love... to not even knowing who eachother were. I guess im writing this because im so depressed and bitter with the reality of relationships and life in General. We ended up breaking up because our lives and our relationships became so routine. We new that we loved eachother but we were stuck making time to see eachother to make love with one another, to make sure we set enough time to have a phone conversation once a day, made sure we sent eachother at least 10 txts a day to make sure our days were going alright. It was horrible and I was unhappy, and because I was unhappy we fought... all the time. So those "dates" turned into a boxing ring. So eventually I had to end it. that was about around last christmas. I didnt blame him, nor did I blame myself. I blamed our situation. He was in Univserity and leading a completley different life than me, I was enjoying my last year of highschool. But since we broke up, I have had a few flings, slepted with a random, tried to pretend that those guys could at some point mean something to me, but at the end of the day, it was always him, and I feel as if it will ALWAYS be him. But again, it hurts me so much to see how things change... it wasnt supposed to turn out this way. I am now moving to Europe in a few weeks for a year, he has a new girlfriend( who is horrible) and we went from being so happy and to not being able imagine our selves without eachother, to leading completley different lives without eachother in them. Am I still in love with him- Yes. most definatley... if he magicaly asked me to be with him again would i say yes-No. Definatly not. I wish i could of met him in 5 years.. thats what i always told him. I wish we met in a different life where we could be with eachother and love eachother completley without having such barriers set up between us, masking the love we had for eachother. I cry at night, i miss him every night. I dont want to leave without him touching me, kissing me, looking me in te eyes one last time. But i know thats not possible. i want him to be able to move on, all i want is for him to be happy. He deserves it.


       

Wabenhouser

August 11, 2010 @ (usa hillbilly vill)

Tags: karma revenge


lol so just to shorten it up

i dated this girl once before and she lied and bla bla bla we broke up it took a big tole on our friendship but 2 yeaqrs later she starts hunting for my cock. the sex was great and after 4 months of kinky nasty porno grade sex she decides we should date. so we have a good relationship for about a year we decides to get engaged excetra and then one day she want to go to some crapy concert but i have to work so she takes her (male) cousin ok what ever thats fine they are bot mettle heads but after that she started to get distant from me and going out when i wasn't home but wouldn't tell me shit so i being tech savvy loged into her email to see pictures of her cousin jacking it and her reply's on how she loved sucking his cock (fucking smaller than mine ) and how she loved the feel of it going down her throat bla bla bla you get the point plus references to them having sex.... nasty anywho so obviously we break up she moves out and in with her mom and dad (come on your 34)...around 3 weeks later she starts dating her cousin ( whom she had introduced as a 1st cousin but is now claiming he is a 3rd) ok now this guy is a piece of work hes dating and fucking his cousin of some number and totally controlling her life telling her where she can go what she can do who she can be friends with (cuz she still wants to be friends with me )"not going to happen" any who she starts pissing every one off with her whining about how controlling he is and how he is an alcoholic and not showing up for his job and lying about why we broke up (she gets mad at me for telling people that we broke up because she was cheating on me with her cousin) "truth hurts i guess".... so time passes she is still bitching about him but in under a year she is engaged to the dick. but there is a problem yup he is married has been for years... so now about 2 years later she is stuck with a guy that quit his job in a depression they are both living at her mom and dads and she still bitches about him being a controlling drunk but she wont do anything about it because she alienated all her friends and doesnt want to admit to being a cunt lol KARMA is a bitch inst it


       

Arnold

August 09, 2010 @ (Edinburg)

Tags: archie1


My girlfriend broke up with me because i was a total jerk to her, 2 months went by she would text me here and there and eventually got back together. Things were going great just last night she got mad at me becuase of an arguement we had together we sat down and talked about it she told me that things weren't going to be the same anymore and my feelings for me either. She told me she didn't want a boyfriend right now and wasn't planning in looking for one right now due to family,work,school issues. She told me that she didn't love me anymore and this realationship wouldn't be the same.i cried for a bit but not as much as i did before. I told her thanks for being a big influence in my life i told her she would always be in my thoughts and that i will never forget her. Now i hope we did right thing because she would tell me i was the best boyfriend so far, until i screw it over..hopefully she realizes despite the fights we had that i was there for her all the time and loved her for who she was...


       

Natalie

August 03, 2010 @ (FL)

Tags: break up


So I've been with this guy for about a year and a half. We met over the internet and it was a long distance relationship, but we met up many times & every time was amazing. Our entire relationship was great (aside from the distance of course) We never fought, we talked all day every day, he was like my best friend. I'd never been so happy with someone. The only issue in our relationship was his ex-wife. She was very manipulative of him, using him for money and constantly trying to break us up. Well last week, out of no where he sends me a text saying that she had stayed the night with him b/c her electricity had been cut off. Of course I was not happy about it and was pretty upset, but he assured me that nothing happened and that he was going to take her that day to get her electricity back on and take her home. I asked him to call me as soon as he got her out of there and took care of everything. That was the last time I spoke to him (exactly a week ago) He didn't answer any of my texts or when I called later that day. And 2 days later, he had his phone disconnected...He sent me an email after that basically saying "I'm deleting your from everything. Please respect me and never contact me again" (ha yeah, respect him when he's so obviously not respected me) I really can't believe all of this is happening. We went from everything being perfect to total strangers in one day. It's obvious to me that he must be back with her or else I don't see why he'd just cut off all contact with me. It really hurts b/c I just don't understand how someone can be so close to you, and say they love you and want to spend their life with, but then turn their back on you. I feel like I've been thrown away. :(


       

John L.

July 25, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: Why does this happpen


I have posted my story and it was the first time I ever had something like this happen.

My question after reading other peoples stories is this.

While everyone says move on thats all you can do. Others try to take revenge but my question is why?

Why do people of today treat people with such little respect. Sex is seen as nothing more than a social event when that is never what it was designed for. It was meant for marriage.

Look at all the media around you (sex sells) look at we as a people and what we are becoming. People are so selfish that they forget that the one thing you do is put the other individual above yourselves.

We are all here because the person we thought we could trust, believe in, give our lives to, want to be with for the rest of our lives, etc. Left or broke us. How many of us have done this to others. Yes many times it's better that we split (abusive or harmful) but at the same time its become normal to break people's hearts and souls and in some cases we still don't know why the other did it.

I am challenging all of you since you have gone through a breakup to stop and think. Don't just jump into bed. Look at the person in the face and ask is this the woman or man I can spend my life with. Waking up to their face every morning and never getting tired of it.

Don't let your emotions run your life. Stop the cycle that the world has said is normal. Stop having sex just because it feels good. Or you are lonely. Grow up and set an example for others to follow.


       

Ansi Jose

July 22, 2010 @ (Trivandrum)

Tags: Escape from Hell


I was in a relationship for the last two years. People will wonder how i managed to stay with someone stupid for such a long time. The person whom i loved used to call me names all the time and those words were so uncultured that i initially beg him to stop saying them. he won't and finally in an effort to get myself out of that pain, i used to bang my head on the wall and then he will scream " die you wretched bitch!" Once i took a whole strip of pills in an attempt to kill myself but that was a failure. He never used to give me any freedom. All the twenty-four hours of my life was for him. I can't watch a movie that i like, i can't talk to my mother or my brother, and i can't even go out with my friends. And the most important thing is that i can't even look at other boys. And the funny part is that he used to have a lot of girlfriends who used to visit his home and with whom he used to spend days together. Everything was forbidden just for me. And he won't let me do a job. Twice i got decent jobs but he will call me names all the way to my work place and he wanted me to take off on all the days that he liked. I had to leave both those jobs because of him. But it was okay if he is capable of getting a good income. that he was not! He never used to go for any jobs and he won't attend interviews saying that they will be tough! And to make things worse he has a brother who is handicapped and he wants me to look after him and his old father sitting at home. He never wanted me to be independent. At that point, i realized what he wants is just a servant, not a wife. And many times i tried to end that relationship but he will convince me to continue it and then again will start torturing me. Yesterday was the day when i took the final decision. I found out that i never can spoil my whole life for the sake of a stupid and incompetent person like this. So i finally said that "No". And of course he has threatened me that he is going to publish all the photos we had together everywhere and my mother and i are going to fall on his feet. And i also suspect myself to be pregnant. But come what may, I'm going to be firm on this decision and I am not going to spoil the rest of my life because of him.


       

Marie

July 14, 2010 @ (Ca)

Tags: Hooked up with someone else while trying to work it out with an ex


My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost a year... Long story short everything had been great between us until shit hit the fan in his life... Things started to get bad between us and we broke up, but continued to see each other, talk, etc on a regular basis. During this he kept telling me that we aren't together, he needs to focus on himself right now, can't give me what I need right now, but loves me and doesn't want to be apart. Well during this I hooked up with an old booty call of mine when my ex and I were fighting. I want to work things out with my ex, but is it worth telling him about the hookup?


       

Joel

July 07, 2010 @ (Texas)

Tags: Joel


I was with my girl for about a year. Things were all good in the beginning, but once she got her car things went down hill from there. She always told me when she got her car she would come see me more, that didn't happen. She told me that she was late on per monthly stuff so i asked her to take a test. The day she took her test she told me we needed to talk. Well i got a huge suprise when we talk she was prego but she didn't want to be with me anymore and was leaving me. WTF kind of move is that. The girl i loved and wanted to have kids with was leaving me when she found out she was prego. Now she is dating this guy, and lost the baby. One of the worest break ups of my life. Ugh girls are fucked up in the head.


       

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1


My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.