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Nameomitted

March 19, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: break up, long distance


We were never really official but this feels like a break up to me. We met in November. He was a military guy, no car, was leaving in a couple months. So at first we kept it casual. When he left on holiday leave we were both expecting him to return--he never did. Even though it was just a fling, it felt so unfinished. We'd text almost every day. At one point he said he missed me, and so I brought up the possibility of an LDR. We talked about the cost and how often we'd get to see one another, but in the end he said he hated LDRs, which I interpreted as a no. Yet we kept in touch, and I wanted to see him so badly. I wanted it more than I have wanted anything, I was so sprung on this guy. So I flew out to visit him last week. But I felt like he kept holding back, which in turn made me nervous. I froze up, and the entire week was a mix of silence and awkwardness. There were moments where we'd liven up, and we were only able to soften up physically--not just sex, but touches, caresses, neck rubs. The physical connection wasn't as crazy raw as I remembered it being, but we were still good together. It was still hot. However, I think my quietness got to him, and by the end of the week we were both exhausted. I could tell that he had run out of patience, and I had tired myself out by silently worrying and wondering and panicking. By the time I left we just waved goodbye. No hug, no kiss, not even a handshake.

On one hand, while I was out there I was noticing things about him that I didn't see before, and I would think to myself, "Hmm... no, I don't think we'd work as a couple." I know that we wouldn't. We have the same interests, and we're physically compatible. We're both thoughtful and affectionate. But intellectually, we don't really connect. Maybe I'm a little too independent for him? I don't know. We have different values. I actually found him to be kind of boring most of the time. He probably thought the same of me. I don't think we're actually boring people, but we tend mute each other out for some reason. But even with all that, it was one of the hardest break-ups I've had. Maybe because I was so invested in the dream of him, in the possibility, in the romantic star-crossed-lovers feel of the whole situation. That and my ego is kind of bruised. I was in love with his body, that's for sure.

I wanted it to be him, you know? I wanted him to tell me he wanted to work something out. I wanted to move clear across the country for him. I loved it out there and would love the adventure of it all, but I'm not going to lie that having him out there with me was the top reason I wanted to move. I wouldn't be alone. I have family and friends out there, so it wouldn't have been JUST for him. I guess I could still move if I wanted to, even if we never spoke again...

I hate that I get moody and distant when emotion overwhelms me. I shut off, and in those times it's nearly impossible for me to communicate how I'm feeling. When I panicked, I would push him away. That's one of the things I regret the most. I wasn't at my best, as hard as I tried. I feel... not good enough. Disheartened. The day he dropped me at the airport I still had a 2 hour wait, on top of a 6 hour flight. And I was fighting back tears the whole time. And I still have my spells of utter sadness.

In my heart, I know it's for the best. I know that I'll get over it, like I always do. I know that in time I'll look back and be able to see that it was a fun experience, and I'll be able to see how much I learned from it all. But right now, in the thick of it, it's a struggle to get through the day. I just want to go home and curl up and cry. But I have to work, and go to class, and be mature. And I don't want to annoy my friends and family by ranting and venting all the time, so I came here... It kind of helps, sharing this with strangers. So thanks.


       

Ii_Duu

March 13, 2013 @ (HeartBreakHotel)

Tags: break up avenue


We dated for a little over a year. He was literally my everything. I didn't have any friends due t0 terrible experiences in the past s0 my only sociable activity was hanging with him and, on occassion, his friends. I don't even know what to tell you bout the break up. We'd have a fight over something stupid and, as usual, he lost his temper and walked away. This was something I had begged him n0t to do because it really hurt and humiliated me having to run after him even though he rejected me all the time. I made every effort to keep the relationship working. Even when he walked away, I had t0 drive after him c0s I was worried (he lives 26kms away fr0m me and wanted t0 walk home at night). While I was chasing him, he told me to leave him alone, and that he doesn't know me. I was crushed. But I couldn't keep chasing him. I had a class I was already late for (because him) and I had t0 leave. S0 I left him. Then he messaged me the next day saying I d0nt care about him and I'm proving to him how I don't love him. Then he deleted me. I called him and tried to explain but he hung up on me after saying that he doesn't care; I must do whatever I want. That hurt. I always asked him to make an effort to fix things even though he's mad but he didn't. He let his pride be more important than me. Its been difficult to let g0 but I'm doing it. I asked all my relatives to delete him and I blocked all his profiles and deleted all his numbers. He's taken me for granted for too long. And even though sometimes I just break down c0s I can't help it, I know that as long as I'm breathing, I will be okay. And he will soon realise that he lost the person who would've sold her heart for him.


       

N/A

February 28, 2013 @ (Ontario)

Tags: Timing, Love


I haven’t had much experience with serious relationships but this is one of the hardest things I've done. I would really appreciate some feedback from outside sources since I'm a popular guy but few people to go to in this city and certainly no shoulder to cry on.
Last night I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years; a girl I admire and daresay love (in many ways), who upon graduating, fought her hateful parents and moved to the city where I studied to complete my late ass degree. Free rent to help pay her loans and good job opportunities out of the question, she moved here to work to survive just to live with me.
We’re both 22 now, and we have known each other for a little over 2 years. Because of her anxiousness to date and my cautiousness it took us about 6 months to go from friends to official.
Moving in after a year was scary enough but done so that we could stay together. This loving girl knew she wanted me forever from the first few months. I was new to the whole relationship scene, and rather unsure. Naturally the thought that she was scared the crap out of me.
But we moved in, and as expected there were some rough nights. We were far from perfect, and her dependence on me paired with her inherent need to ‘have the final say’ on everyday issues tested my rationality regularly. In spite of a few terrible nights where we swore we were done, the year as roommates ended far better than expected. We had learned a lot about living with one another and grown our love. This was mostly because she did everything possible to be the perfect girl, she: is caring, generous, and sweet beyond belief, cooks fantastic meals, adopts new styles, and always promoted a good sex life. Still I felt unhappy – for a reason that was not immediately clear. I loved her, but I also restrained my interests for her sake at times. I feel that this is normal, but I also feel young and that there is much I want to do before I make the necessary sacrifices that come with commitment. In short - I felt that everything was moving too fast.
She never stopped pressuring me into the thing she wanted most from me - a promise. This was something that I couldn't give until I felt ready. She plans to have the security of an engagement ring within the next couple of years, and reminds me of that regularly. I love her, but this is my life too!
With what looks like 2 or 3 years before a real career begins for me, being ready to propose seems half a decade away. I tell her I want to enjoy the relationship we have and continue to work on it and grow together. When I talk to her about the pressure her sacrifices put on me she says she wants someone to match the love –and commitments- that she shows. Unfortunately I can't do that, and although I love her, I have to let her go.
Our timing was cruelly wrong, and I think it is finally time to stop ignoring that fact and use the time to explore myself and my desires. She could be the one, but that’s just not something I can decide yet.


       

Karen

February 03, 2013 @ (Pennsylvania, USA)

Tags: breakup, mistake, regret


Where to begin? I guess I should start with when we met. It was April 9th, 2012; the day we got back from a trip for marching band. I was talking to my friend Melanie and she said, "you should try to talk to new guys. You never know, something good might come out of it." I said, "who should I talk to though and how?" That's when she suggested I talk to the guy who would eventually be the best boyfriend I've ever had: Brandon. So, when I got home, I message him on Facebook because I had nothing better to do and I thought if I went up to him in person and talked to him that it would be weird. I doubted that he even knew who I was (I was wrong about that. Turns out our friend Nick had told him that he should date me when I was a freshman. I'm now a junior and he was a sophomore at the time. We're in high school). So, we hit it off and everything seemed great. But as months passed I was wondering why he never asked me out. He told me he wanted to get to know me better first. So then the summer went by and we didn't talk much. Then in August 2012, we had band camp and we started talking again. He asked me if I wanted to sit with him on the bus on the way to competitions. I said yes. The bus rides were always fun and he was a really big flirt. Once again, I began to wonder why he wasn't asking me out, but this time I didn't bring it up. Then on November 6th, 2012, we hung out and he asked me out. The way he did it was really corny, but it was cute. I was so happy. Then, 2 weeks later he told me that he didn't want me hugging other guys, because he wanted it to be an exclusive part of our relationship. I thought this was dumb, but I just said okay because I didn't want to start anything. This were going fine and then two weeks later, he told me to switch lockers and move into his (I was previously sharing one with my best friend, Louis). I think he was just jealous or insecure. Maybe both. I was his first girlfriend, so maybe he was just scared he'd lose me or something. So, that weekend he's over my house. We've made out before but we had never used tongue and we tried it but I didn't like it. He got frustrated and said that "it's a way to kiss. How can you not like it?" I said I didn't know. Then over the next two weeks it seemed like everyday he said he was getting frustrated with me. I was getting upset and depressed because I felt like I was letting an not being a good enough girlfriend. So, eventually I decided to break up with him on December 14th, 2012, because I just wasn't happy anymore. I did it over the phone because the only other time I would have been able to do it was at school or at my house and that would have been awkward. So I was on the phone with him and I did it. I broke up with him. He didn't say anything and I started to cry. I felt really bad and him not saying anything made me feel worse. Then five minutes later he said "Can we still be friends?" I said "yes" he said "okay. Bye." And hung up. I kept crying for a good 3 hours. He called me like 2 hours later but I was asleep. He left a voicemail saying that he hopes that I don't think he's mad at me and that he wishes things could have worked out but he's glad we can still be friends. I was happy about that. But as the weeks passed it seemed like he wanted the opposite. Now, he rarely talks to me and I feel like when he does, I annoy him. I miss him so much and it's ridiculous. I want him back, but I know he'll never want me again. I at least want to be friends again. I asked him to my junior prom, so maybe that will help, but we'll have to wait and see. Is there anything else I can do? I think I might be in love with Brandon and knowing that I screwed things up just hurts so much. I want to fix it. Breaking up with him was probably the biggest mistake in my life and I regret it so much.


       

Tori

November 10, 2012 @ (virginia)

Tags: fell out of love


So i had been with this guy for almost two years. He had a rough childhood and back ground. I helped through alot of that. After about 6 months of being together he moved about 2 hours away. It became a long distance relationship. It was fine at first but in the past few months we had started to fight alot and just not get along well. But when we were actually together things were great. He said he needed a break, and at the end of this break he broke up with me and said "im not inlove with you like i used to be. i still care but the passion is gone" i am completely torn up if i was mad at him or i thought he wasnt worth it i could get over him. but im not mad at him feelings change and he really is a great guy


       

Betrayed

October 28, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: Love, Betrayal


I'm actually here to resubmit my video because I had to take it down once on YouTube. It's roughly an hour and a half. Basically what I will summarize here is that I opened my heart and home to a girl that would later end up leaving because she hated the location. I was always there for her when she needed me, but she wasn't when I needed her. She never had the proper parents to raise her. She moved in with me when she was 17 and stayed until a little after she turned 18 so it's an interesting story to follow. Her mom is a crook. She abandoned her child, didn't help us pay for her, and still had the nerve to claim IRS taxes on her. I can't stand the woman at all. I've always been a selfless person tending to other peoples needs over mine. I guess now I ask for people to watch my video and those that have been hurt like me to please give some form of advice. http://youtu.be/FQ4Le4HFz9M


       

A Girl With A Broken Heart

October 28, 2012 @ (Lebanon)

Tags: exboyfriend, how to get


I was with this guy for about 10 months, we were in a long distance relationship. He works abroad. He comes twice a year to Lebanon. The second time i saw him in Lebanon he broke up with me for about one month and half i started begging him and telling how much i love him and than we started arguing so i started to ignore him than we came back together. He came so nice and good to me than he came back to the country he works in. We broke up for the second time and than came back after ignoring him, when he came back he refused putting our picture on BBM and so i told him why, he said you keep fighting me while he does all the fighting, and i have no word. So i was okay with it, like what can i do i cannot force him, but on whatsapp he kept our picture with my name as a nickname. ( on BBM also he kept my name). But 3 weeks ago we broke up i didn't know why, he was desperate changing pictures on BBM and he removed my name so i asked him why, like u removed our picture already and now my name, later on what? he was fighting me all over and broke up with me after being so good to him and trying to make him calm, he broke up and i called him several times he didn't reply so i wished him good luck and that he lost me because of his bad treatment. And he said u lost me before i lost you because u didn't care. so i ignored him. He started to put sad faces on BBM so i ignored him but after a few days i said that he lost me forever because he was so disrespectful and im not gonna stay like this forever and i think he has a new girlfriend so i said many things... and he started bringing up my old relations. MY PAST! and say that i didn't care and i m not a good girlfriend and i wasn't by his side (truth is i always have been by his side and never left him, spoiling him with love and sacrifices that i have done to him... i don't go anywhere because of him because he's jealous and i don't want him to feel alone so i go to uni and go home, i don't even see my friends because of him because i don't wanna make him sad). So i didn't reply to any of his talk. The next day i said i wanna give this relation a chance so i asked him a question : "Do u still love me, did u ever love me and will you always love me?" so he replied :" I got the answer but i won't tell you" so i said " I have to know so i can know how to deal with things from now on" he was like " Deal with it the way you want, you already did enough" so i didn't reply to him and didn't talk to him after that that was 3 weeks ago. This wednesday i said him on bbm hi and he replied hey and asked how is he and he was normal and u? i said im okay and he said good. so i didn't say any word after that. after 2 hrs i put a picture for me on whatsapp and BBM, so he said please remove me from here sorry for disturbing and block me on whatsapp if u care about not hurting me anymore. so i didn't reply to him and after a short time he said thanks for being disrespectful so i didn't reply to him and at 2 am he sent me on BBM " Hope when i wae up in the morning u will do the favor i asked you to and not putting more disrespectful behavio and the hurt you're doing to me. wish u the best but don't go to your past with such immature pictures and bad ones it doesn't go for you from an old friend and i prefer there won't be a HI between us cz you treated your ex's better than me and respected them but u didn't respect me knowing one took you to his home from the first day and the other one cheated on you, that's called not respecting, you left me i didn't say a word, you hurt me and i didn't do anything, i m not like your ex's but you all girls are the same there's no difference. if you're not gonna do the favour so i do it in the morning but please tell me that you won't do because you really did hurt me and i didn't expect that from you to go back to your past. wish u all the best regards, ur old friend" so i didn't reply to him because it's all untrue i didn't leave him and i did respect him i was more than good to him really i was. and after that he sent me "bye good luck on whatsapp with such pics" and i didn't say anything so he started pinging me a lot and than he removed me i didn't say anything. not even a word. I really loved this guy i don't know what hapened to him i wish i can get help to make him come back but with good intentions :( i miss him i don't understand why this hapened. Help


       

Felix

October 06, 2012 @ (calexico)

Tags: love hurts


This guy sat next to me for the whole school year.... We started talking 1 month the school year ended.. he had a girlfried and 6 months before i experianced my first brake up of a year and 4 months i had come a long way and when we started talking i started to have a little crush ge graduated from highschool anf on the summer going to my senior year he dumped his girlfriend and dated me... He broke up with me for no reason.... Then one day he came to my house hold my hand and we had sex then he told me he dident wanted a gf.. a cried alot i felt used then he ask for a second chance and i gaved it to him we were fine but this girl came along.. he made a new friendv in college that girl is 3 years older than him and she has a baby they would send msg back and forth every day and when i confront him he said she was just a friend... One day his facebook was logged on and i read msgs he has with her ... Where he said i was a drama with an attitude.. that he was a pro at sex since a young age.... That the neighbores knew his name because they would hear me screme when we were having sex... The girl said her homework was hard and that he should go to her house abd help her.. she gaved him her adress and he ask for her number.. that where the msgs end i they kept texting trough phone messages... I cried alot i felt used embarrased he insulted me i broke up with him.... He wanted to meet up and talk about it he said he never cheated but i never gave him a chance to explain himself because those msg were his own words and nothing he would of said could changed the facts in 17 homefully i find my soul mate and hot guys that play with my heart


       

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup


FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT


I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.


       

Emily

September 03, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: -.-


So. I met this guy and we were friends for about a week, and we saw each other at a mutual friends party. We got to know each other better and we hit it off, and when texting him later he tells me that he likes me...alright ! I had a crush on him too and we started talking. So every single day after that he would text me 24/7 non stop and blow up my phone when I wouldn't text back in 5 minutes, 5 FUCKING MINUTES !!! And he would always bash on my guy friends and me ex's without even meeting them, and i have healthy relationships with all my ex's. So fast forward all he would do was text me and cry and talk about his other bad relationships and how I was the one and he was going to marry me, and I was a little freaked. And Im not someone who's in relationships often so when I'm with someone it's a little special. Im saving my virginity for when I'm 18 and one day he grabbed my breast and tried to have sex with me !! After that I couldn't help myself, I kicked his ass(the best I could, I'm only 4'9 -_-) and I told him to get out and leave me alone. Now he bugs me and even has a timer on his phone for "the day I turn 18 and he can have me". What the fuck!?! What should I dooo ?