Searching for "bad"


446 Results For 'bad'

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend


This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell. 

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that. 

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed. 

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same. 

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope. 

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

 About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done. 

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable. 

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.


       

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up


I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?


       

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion


I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.


       

Vanillatwilight

May 14, 2012 @ (somewhere on earth)

Tags: breakup, jerk, cheated


So me and my first bf (now ex bf) had a long distance relationship that lasted over 2 months. We'd see each other once a week to play volleyball together and occasionally meet up for movie and mall dates. He was the sweetest guy ever and i'd give up sleep just to talk to him. He was also quite busy since he went to private school. I was devasted when we broke up but i agreed to it because i could feel that he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. After our breakup, i came upon a youtube video one day of him singing a love song dedicated to this other girl (the video was posted when we were dating). Later on, i found out that he had been cheating with me through our entire relationship with a girl that he met on a cruise and who lived half way around the world. I was furious and disappointed at him. I also found out that the reason he broke up with his other ex was because she found out he cheated on her (with the same girl he cheated on me with.) I kept that to myself for a while and then confronted him a few day ago. He simply said congrats on finding out, he did consider making a video for me at one point but singing to her was their thing and playing volleyball with me was our thing. It has been over 3 months since we broke up but he has hurt me so badly that im still having trouble recovering from it. I don't even know what to do with anymore. I can't talk to him anymore cuz i know that he won't tell me any truth and i dont want to talk to such jerks, but at the sametime a part deep down inside of me still have feelings for him. :S


       

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance


We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!


       

Krissy

April 24, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: heart break


I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one, and after having several bad realstion ships I was excited. He was everything I wanted. We dated for a year and a half, and in the beginning it was great. But as time went on he talked to me less and less, NEVER EVER hung out with me. I had to beg. When i told him i loved him he never say it back. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought I needed to change. So for our one year I made him a scrapbook I spent months on. What does he say? "Oh.. nice thanks." I didn't get anything for valentines day.... and then soon he just felt completely distant. He was planning to go to new York to school, and when I asked him what was going to happen to us, he says "I dunno." I never got an answer. I soon became so lonely, waiting for him and practically kissing his feet. I became depressed and soon got fed up. I broke up with him (after many harsh words from him) and I figured if he loved me he would try to come back. He never did. He never told me he loved me. I wasted a year and a half on him. Never again. I am hoping the one for me is still out there, but for now I still cry over him.


       

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad


We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/


       

Kyla

April 18, 2012 @ (ireland)

Tags: awkward


ok so about a year and a half ago me and my fiance were in a hostel trying to get our own place and it was in there we met a guy called brian hes a really good friend of ours but when we were in the hostel i thought i had feelings for him but i couldnt act on them because i was engaged (still am) but anyway one day my fiance was acting like he didnt want to be near me like he didnt want me anymore so i said fuck this and i decided to act on what i was feeling i knew he felt the same way because he was always trying to touch me and kiss me so when my fiance was in the kitchen making himself something to eat brian had said he wasnt gonna do anything until i ask him to so i told him how i felt and he kissed me before i knew it we were in bed together having sex anyway after he moved out we lost touch but today he calls me and we started talking again and everything was fine no one knew what happened between the two of us but he told me he has settled down with a girl who is 5 months pregnant and that she lives up where i used to live so i asked her name and straight away i recognised it i asked if she had a sister called valerie and she said yes thats when i was 100% sure who she was when i told him ask if she knows valeries husband daughter kyla and when she said yes i told her thats me he kept asking how i knew and i told him shes my auntie things got so awkward my best friend and accidental affair is getting married and having a baby to my auntie when she found out she laughed and she didnt know what to say but it was long before they ever met so i do feel really bad but i dont know whether i should be feeling bad or not p.s my fiance still doesnt know about it


       

Kat

March 29, 2012 @ (new hampshire)

Tags: nothing


He broke up w me and then 2hrs later went out w my bestfriend..she wasnt even sorry. She told me that it was "too bad".. Hah b**ch i slept w your boyfriend two months ago!


       

Jill

March 18, 2012 @ (Up the hill..)

Tags: Jill, jack, pale of water


One night my best friend and I were waiting for my parents to pick us up from a party when my phone started buzzing. When I looked down It was a guy in my grade named jack, it was really random since we hardly ever text. And at that moment, when I got that text I knew I liked him and he liked me. We started texting from early in the morning to late at night everyday, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He finally asked me out at school and we were the most adorable couple. At parties it was always just him and I hanging out being all over each other and being little kids together. He was so sweet to me. And then things started getting rocky. Suddenly he wouldn't text me as much and he would make the rudest comments to me. Then he just broke up with me. I mean it's not like I didn't have it coming because I knew we were having problems anyways. But I was still heart broken. He then started flirting with all my friends and getting super close to my best friend, the same girl in the beginning. But one night when I was missing him the most he texted me saying how sorry he was and how he wanted me back so badly. I agreed and immediately went to tell my best friend excitedly. She broke down in tears over the phone saying how sorry she was and what a terrible friend she had been. She then explained how jack and her were talking the whole time we were dating and how she technically got him to break up with me. I was so confused and happy and heart broken at the same time. But I trusted her and forgave them both. Even tho he doesn't know that I know he did that. We dated a few more months and all of a sudden he broke up with me again. She did the exact same thing to me again. Now I can't look at either of them the way I used to. I don't want to forgive, when now I can't forget..