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Jordyn

October 19, 2012 @ (California )

Tags: Breakup long term relationship

I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?

Dee

October 18, 2012 @ (california )

Tags: love sucks

We started going out September of 2009. We were happy and in love. I honestly thought he was the one, we made love, we planned a wedding, we planned our lives. Then on April 2010 I fin d out he's been cheating on me. He says it only happened once but God who knows how many fucking times he cheated!! I was heartbroken. He left me for another. Fast forward to May 2010, my dumbass hangs out with him & what does he do? He kisses me and I tell him it isnt right since he has a girfriend. He didn't care and idk why i let him kiss me. He ignored me for the following months until September 2010 when he found out I had a new boyfriend. I guess it's true when they say that they want you back when they see you with someone new. He asks me if we can be together but that no one has to know. as much as i still had feelings for him, i didn't fall for that. Then the next month he finds out I broke up with the guy I was with and he goes to look for me he kisses me and I ask him "wait don't you have your Girlfriend still?" and he's like, "I don't want to talk about her, lets talk about us" and truth is I was really happy to see him again, he kisses me and I kiss him back but it doesn't feel right because in his girlfriend stays in the back of my mind. And as fucked up as she was to ruin my relationship and get in between it in the first place, I didn't want to be like her. but then he told me he was gonna leave her for me. Lies. Days pass by and not one single word from him. Then the following month his girlfriend sends me a message on facebook asing me all these questions about him. I end up telling her the truth that her guy has been after me since forever now. He denies it in her face but later he says that its true. Its a long long story. A story that should have been over with in 2010. But guess what? It is now 2012 and that asshole is still on my mind. And that chick still talks to me and pretends to be my friend but behind my back she talks shit. I don't know why! She is always Subtweeting me and all that and she always mentions him. She starts saying things like "oh im glad im talking with him again!" I have a feeling they'll get back together after all the shit that happened. I don't give a fuck though. Wait, yeah I do :/ I know I shouldn't but I still have those feelings. It's going to be two years now since I last saw him though so I don't understand why I still think about him, dream about him and cry sometimes for him. He really messed me up. I haven't been in a relationship in such a long time because of trust issues.He left me heartbroken and I don't think I can handle another one of those relationships. I honestly just want him out of my mind. I want him out of my heart but I don't know how. Maybe it does take time. Maybe I'll get over it little by little. I just hate the fact that I gave it up to a douche like him. I know I don't need him but sometimes I just want to tell him that I do. I don't know. Love is complicated.

Nina

October 16, 2012 @ (Georgia)

Tags: slut manwhore

So, there's this guy. He was probably the cutest guy at my school and then he went off to high school. We started talking and he started liking me and I couldn't even believe it myself because really? ME with the hottest guy ever?! It was way too good to be true. But later on we always talked and went on dates. One night we were at this football game and we were being PERFECT and then this next day..he went to the fair with some girl Kayla. Kayla was some girl his BESTFRIEND was seeing and was also at the game with his bestfriend the night before (she also had a rep for cheating on all her boyfriends and he knew). I found out and got mad and he just said I care about you too much to go out with you and hurt you. If you didn't want to hurt me why would you do that? WTF! and then we stopped talking for a little while and now their going out. I mean we were never offical but that was still fucked up.

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Kim

September 20, 2012 @ (BLOCKED)

Tags: (BLOCKED)

I was with the guy named, Don H. We met the first week Don moved into our neighborhood in (BLOCKED). I was 25. We dated off and on for about a year and a half. He denies that he was seeing anyone else but, I know he was sleeping with at least one other neighbor. We had great times together. He was always partying. He was always throwing parties and barbeques and stuff. He worked a lot at his brokerage but I think he was lying. I think he was sleeping with his admin. I met her she was maybe 20. He was always out on the boat but I never went with him. Kidding me!? In the end I knew he was cheating. So obvious. So, I confronted him about what I thought was going on. He invited me over and we had a great time. He actually told me he missed the memo we were exclusive. We had some drinks by the pool. It was a beautiful night. We had sex outside. Then again in the shower. Then again upstairs in his room for half the night. When I woke-up he was already dressed. Tying his tie. Hot. He left a note on a Post-It Said we were done. Are you f-ing kidding me!? A Post-It! My God who does that?

Emily

September 03, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: -.-

So. I met this guy and we were friends for about a week, and we saw each other at a mutual friends party. We got to know each other better and we hit it off, and when texting him later he tells me that he likes me...alright ! I had a crush on him too and we started talking. So every single day after that he would text me 24/7 non stop and blow up my phone when I wouldn't text back in 5 minutes, 5 FUCKING MINUTES !!! And he would always bash on my guy friends and me ex's without even meeting them, and i have healthy relationships with all my ex's. So fast forward all he would do was text me and cry and talk about his other bad relationships and how I was the one and he was going to marry me, and I was a little freaked. And Im not someone who's in relationships often so when I'm with someone it's a little special. Im saving my virginity for when I'm 18 and one day he grabbed my breast and tried to have sex with me !! After that I couldn't help myself, I kicked his ass(the best I could, I'm only 4'9 -_-) and I told him to get out and leave me alone. Now he bugs me and even has a timer on his phone for "the day I turn 18 and he can have me". What the fuck!?! What should I dooo ?

Sara

August 15, 2012 @ (Slovenia)

Tags: Sara

Our story is now almost 7 years long. With zillion of breakups, cries, backtogethers, now I can finally say it's over. When I look back now, there's been more bad than nice times, I often felt rejected, humiliated and not loved.. What took me so long? Low self esteem, not a drop of self love and addiciton. The last drop over the top was last month of our "relationship". In May I got pregnant.. Then he fell in love with someone new - so he said. We talked on the phone about the situation we had to solve somehow. I've decided that the abortion is the best solutin for me.. The day I went to the hospital, he wasn't there for me. Yet the "good" thing came out of all, I didn't have the abortion since I misscarried the child. It was probably somekind of a sign, that that person is really the best to stay away from. But the pain of his actions was and still is sometimes unbearable. I am moving on now, day by day, hour by hour with thoughts of lonliness mostly in my head. But my goal is now to get over him and find love in myself, the long missing self esteem and the partner I deserve. I know I will be ok! :)

Brittany

August 01, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: Love and hate

It all started off on December first. It was in 7th grade, pretty much the beginning of the school year. His name was Bryce. One of those popular basketball jocks. He seemed so sweet, but i knew i would never have a chance with him. So one night a bunch of my friends and a bunch of his friends were at a girls basketball game for our school. We all hung out together and it was so fun! I talked to him for a little bit until he had to go home. Later that night, after i got home, i messaged him on Facebook and told him he should text me sometime, so i gave him my number. About half an hour later he messaged me back and was all 'alright(:'

After talking for about a week, he said he really liked me and he would like to ask me out, But to me surprise he said he didn't want to do it over text. The next day at school, just a normal day, he came up to me and asked me out. Probably the best day ever! After about a month dating he decided to break up with me. Btw it was the day after Christmas... He always told me 'forever and always' that was our little saying. So since he said it so much i started to believe it. I fell for him soo hard.

For about a month i cried myself to sleep. Then one day out of the blue, i was walking thru the halls, and he says my name. I turn around and he is standing there with the most saddest look on his face. I give him the 'what do you want' kind of look. My best friend turns to me and says, he was going to apologize to you for all the things he's done to you. Till this day i regret doing that. Later on that day i text him and say, im sorry for giving you a dirty look. He later then text's me back with a long text that he wants to take me back and that he made such a big mistake. I liked him so much' so i took him back.

The next day at school it was a normal day but Bryce was back in my life. That day was great. But when i got home i got that heartbreaking text message again. He said 'my parents said i couldn't date anymore' I texted him why but he never once texted me back. A couple months of still crying constantly, i try once more and ask him why? He said he was too good for me and so he made up and excuse to stop dating me. I was so pissed at myself for taking him back that other time.

Of course i still have feelings for him,he just doesn't feel the same way about me. I guess it's just one of those 'first love' things, where even though how bad they hurt you, you still take them back.

Its now the beginning of 8th grade and i still am not over him.. Till this day i listen to one certain song and i cry my eyes out for hours. I miss him, i really do,i'd take him back in a heartbeat but i don't want my heart broken again.

Tynisha

July 30, 2012 @ (Love lost)

Tags: Young, love

We had went out over the summer of leaving the fifth grade. He had said he loved me so much,I meant the world to him, etc.. Young love. We had our little arguments here and there, but they didn't matter. Anyway, the next summer, we dated again. But it wasn't the same. My feelings for him had increased, but I could sense that his feelings for me were not the same. One day over the phone he broke up with me. I was so sad. But he said that we could still be friends. But he never talked to me afterwards. Later on I found out that after we broke up, he started dating my friend. I'm now going to the 9th grade. There isn't a day I go without thinking about him. Some people might call it pathetic, but I call it in love. We no longer talk to each other. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not obsessed with him or anything, I just think about him. How can I get over him? I don't want my feelings for him to affect my current relationship. Or future relationships. I want him back in my life. :(

Confused Again..

July 28, 2012 @ (wv)

Tags: cheating, confused

Well, followed some advice from my last post on here, telling me to move on from my ex. I finally started dating someone else, only for her to try to push th relationship far too quickly. So that ended poorly. After a week after we broke up i decided to give her another chance, this time in a matter of a month she started cheating on me. So now i'm wary as to even date anyone anymore. Any advice from anyone on getting back up on my feet for a third time? Btw, it's not easy for me to find a girl that is willing to date me because, according to some, i'm too "nice" of a person...