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CDJ
June 02, 2016 @ (England)
Tags: #badbreakup #lessonslearned
We were together 18 months. In the final months she said she worried I wasn’t earning enough and doubted our ‘compatibility’ with contradictory reasons, yet would reject my suggestions to break-up (I always had to be the one to bring it up). When we eventually did it was hard, but I couldn’t take the uncertainty.
Afterwards it felt like we hadn’t broken up, talking as normal. She told me she still loved me and was upset. Her birthday was coming up and she was working nights that weekend, so I thought I would deliver her presents/belongings on one of the nights. But she wanted to see me, and said she’d been struggling after the break-up, so I agreed to come after Monday lunchtime following her final night shift.
When I arrived she came out her bedroom naked, claiming we hadn’t confirmed I was coming round (she sent an odd text that morning asking what I was up to that day, to which I replied to confirm/remind, and tried to ring four times). She grabbed a dressing gown and opened her presents. I sensed awkwardness and then it clicked; there was a guy in her bed.
I felt sick and humiliated. She said he was a locum she’d met at work over the weekend, it hadn’t meant anything, etc. I said I wanted answers/closure to move on (this upset her, yet I’d found her moving on!). She even blamed me for turning up. The next day she became remorseful and wanted to talk in person, but I wanted immediate answers – it had been an unnecessary and horrible thing to do.
A week later she called me and I apologised for how I’d reacted, even though I’d suffered a trauma! She wouldn’t discuss what happened, distressed at the slightest mention. She’d flipped the situation and gone back to claiming I was in the wrong. At the end we agreed we would meet to exchange stuff. That was the last time we spoke; 8 weeks later she just ignored me and mailed my stuff without any words.
The lesson here is that there is no such thing as a good break-up. I thought I was having one, and then she had other ideas. So, when you break-up with someone, do just that – cut contact and stay away. And speak to people (friends, parents, counsellor, etc.) – they will stop you from making things worse.
Nurse
May 24, 2016 @ (Somewhere)
Tags: #Crying
We met on fb 5 years ago and we became friends then became lovers until it reached 4 years and almost 9 months. We were in a LDR since Feb last year. The relationship went smooth until last April 2016. He was very irritated of my calls and texts.. I found out he has a girl "callmate" then recently he wants his freedom and be single again.
Nurse
May 24, 2016 @ (Somewhere)
Tags: Crying
We met on fb 5 years ago and we became friends then became lovers until it reached 4 years and almost 9 months. We were in a LDR since Feb last year. The relationship went smooth until last April 2016. He was very irritated of my calls and texts.. I found out he has a girl "callmate" then recently he wants his freedom and be single again.
Nurse
May 24, 2016 @ (Somewhere)
Tags: Crying
We met on fb 5 years ago and we became friends then became lovers until it reached 4 years and almost 9 months. We were in a LDR since Feb last year. The relationship went smooth until last April 2016. He was very irritated of my calls and texts.. I found out he has a girl "callmate" then recently he wants his freedom and be single again.
Bubby
April 10, 2016 @ (NC)
Tags: badbreakup
I had finally let go of my last serious Ex, and dated a little afterward. I made a hot or not account (big mistake.) I met this guy, he was so different from all the others, he didn't want to just meet up and have sex. We talked about God and our struggle to be better followers of Christ. We talked all the time before our first date, and I was starting to really appreciate him as a person, just being there for me. Then we had our first date, after weeks of txting. I was so nervous, he was so sweet and it had been awhile that I'd dated anyone. He came to my door and I answered, he was surprised at how pretty I was (haha.) I sat in his car and he gave me a sweatshirt of his with his interesting last name on it, we joked about it earlier. It didn't take long for us to fall for each other. The next four months, we were inseparable. Little did I know, he was crumbling on the inside. We didn't live close to each other, so every trip to his house or mine took a couple hours. I felt like it was worth it, to be around him. Apparently he didn't feel the same way...because one night he broke up with me. He felt he didn't have enough time with his friends, and he was physically exhausted. Unfortunately for me, I'm still in love with him...I wanted to marry him. I honestly would take him back if he said "Bubby, I wanna make this work with you. I'm sorry." But, in real life, it never seems to happen that way for me until I've forced myself to get over him and he finally wants me back. We were both 19, and he said that he figured out he wasn't really ready like I was...hurts like hell knowing that he still cares for me, wants me to be happy even when it's not with him...
New
March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)
Tags: #surviving
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.
Estf VLM
March 22, 2016 @ (200 Davisville ave)
Tags: Difficult break up..
I decided to write about how is my recently break up going. I know many of you are having the same situation as me, therefore I will explain how is my situation so you can understand me.
A year ago, 2015, I started dating a guy from a different culture, religion, way of thinking and more. We connected really well, at first it was like wonderland everyday, we talked for hours, went out, laughed, and more.. It felt like a real relationship full of confidence, truth, and more of it we respected each other. We did so many things together, I even started to learn his language, I changed so many things for him, The first 7 moths together were so perfect, I never though that he will change from one day to another.. He stated changing day by day, sometimes i felt like he was so bored to be with me, but other times i felt like he was so happy, I was so confused, even tho i never told him what i felt, he sometimes noticed i guess but never said a word. There were some days he came to me saying he wants to try a night with another girl, i swear he stabbed me every time he said that, but i couldn’t do anything, all i did was laugh like it wasn’t a big deal but it was. I hide so many times how i really felt because i didn’t want him to worry or something. I remember even he told me he could thrown me if I do something wrong, and many times he told me that his friends will always come first than me, I mean I was his girlfriend right?, why would he say stuff like that.. It was just too much but i never payed attention because I did not want to lose him, and I did anyways.
Anyways, a week before he broke up with me, he was acting so weird, I knew there was something but like always I didn’t pay attention. Indeed there was something, on a Tuesday, Jan 12, 2016, at 8pm he came to me and said he wanted to talk to me about something, there.. I knew he wanted to break up, my world just fall apart when he said it, he gave me some crazy reasons and I just played along. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.. Well after that, 3 days after I went to a party, and I remember i got so drunk, all because I found out he was already talking to another girl. IT BROKE ME…
A week after, he came again to me but not as he wanted to go back, he just wanted to make sure of some stuff, but neither of us could help it so we kissed, everything came back to HAPPINESS, only it was NOT.! He said I can’t control myself around you but I want to still being like this, only not as a relationship, I first said alright let’s try, but to be honest it wasn’t enough for me, he was like that with me but also playing with another girl, so i tried to stopped it and until now i couldn’t. I am still in the same situation, i feel like a stupid sometimes, thinking that he would change, but no, it is worse. he still is playing with that other girl, and I am still hurting.
I will never regret any of this, the only thing i regret is how blind I am.
Prvnce
March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )
Tags: bad breakups, heart broken
Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...
Prvnce
March 13, 2016 @ (Florida )
Tags: bad breakups, heart broken
Growing up, I've never had a sexual preference. I was always afraid to tell people because I knew no one would understand. Then my 10th grade year in highschool, I met the perfect being, the "love of my life". We started talking December 28th and made it official January 1st at 12:04. We've had a bumpy road. I always was so used to being heart broken that I didn't know how to love anymore or even appreciate it when it's shown to me. But he sat there and he waited for me to open up to him and he was stern when he needed to be. Truth of the fact is, I wouldn't have this stronger state of mind if it wasn't for him. He was such an inspiration to my life. In my sophomore days he was a senior and was off to college. We was in a log distance relationship. He stayed in West Virginia and I stayed in Florida. We was going together for 8 months before I left him, because I thought I haven't loved him anymore. Then later that September we got back together and saw each other in person for the first time in October. We made a bond like no other. And one thing I remember is when he told me he don't ever wanna live without me by his side..."I need you in my life" He would say. We was going so fine until the day he got in college. I got less attention and began to beg him and antagonize him because I didn't understand that being in college is time consuming. He then began to pay his attention to other guys. After we had a talk about it we was fine for our 1 year anniversary "one year down forever to go." I still remember him saying. Little did we know forever was just about to end...as time flew by he began to loose interest in me. He would call me too gay and tell me he don't like the way I dance or the way I dress. He'll say he didn't like my body being a certain way, but he would always be attracted to other guys that was just the same as what he didn't want in me. He would like their pics, text and call them. And we've had multiple falling outs about it. Finally I understood that he felt I didn't appreciate him is why he was distant from me. I gave in to my faults and offered to fix the situation. He agreed but would never let me. He would either ignore me, be rude to me or just act like I don't even exist. Or like I'm just an associate. This has been going on for months. A week ago he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Today, March 13, 2016 I am a single broken hearted man. We've been through the hell and back together. We've lost friends for each other. His dad won't talk to him and my mom rebuke me. We both don't get along with our families because of the way they treat us. I've never had a shoulder to lean on. He's all I have...now I have nothing...once again my heart is broken and he don't even care anymore. I've cried so many times and he didn't care. I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. AGAIN...
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