Tags: bad breakup
Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.
Tags: bad breakup
He says she has made his life a living hell and he wants to get out. I say whatever makes you happy and he gives me this smile that makes my heart stop. I lie to him and say i don't have a boyfriend. I go out of my apartment and call him. I say he's here. He says great now go and have fun i love you. I do too i say and don't mean it. Because all of a sudden i realize no other amount of love will ever come as close as the way i love him. I finally realize when people say if its love you will know. I don't care that he has two kids, i don't care that his wife is a bitch, i don't care that he has so much baggage that he literally is the baggage claim. I care about none of it. Because when i am with him i need nothing. The world without him means nothing. And what is a world without nothing to live for? So we go on vacation. We leave the country and go away. At first we are friend and nothing else. It starts with silly jokes, past memories, the brush of his hands against mine, the way he accidentally touches me, the way he pokes me when he thinks i am not listening. Then before you know it you're both falling madly in love. I had already been in love but this time its his turn to feel what i feel. And he does. He feels it with a passion i did not see coming. Then the planning of the future comes. He promises me a grand wedding, the telling of our families, the happiness our fathers would feel at the news. We talk about how we would raise his kids and whether i should learn how to cook healthy options. He leaves and i cry at the airport. I break up with my boyfriend and forget all about him. As if he never existed. I stay up until 4 am everyday so i can be on his time. I sleep all day and am up all nigh. He's worth it i say. I get too tired to go to work, too tired to go out with friends he's all i think of. He calls he says its over the divorce is final and he will send me a ticket to vista him after january (2015). I cry whether its from joy or the foreshadowing of our future i can't tell. I quit my job, i sell the few things i owe, i pack my life up and go to vegas with my best friends and he hits Paris with his. I am on the phone with him on new years i say happy new years love of my life. He says happy new years my soul but i have to go now my guy friends are waiting for me. I feel a pang of something a flutter of wrongness but i ignore it and keep on dousing champagne. I smile and think to myself this year is going to be great.
Tags: bad breakup
I dress up the day of his arrival and go pick him up. As I am driving by i see him waiting on the other side. I honk my horn but he doesn't see me. As i get out of my car and walk towards him everything suddenly hits me. The way i felt about him, the way the world stops around you, the reason you finally understand all those cheesy movies, and stupid love songs. The way the world looks. The colours more intense, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener the air is fresher you heart is beating faster. You have this adrenaline rush like its monday morning and you've already dawned 8 cups of coffee. I run to him this time too and hug him. I ask him about his life, his wife, his two kids. He says he married too fast, he loves his kid he hates his wife. She is a nightmare he says. A nightmare i think with pretty blue eyes.
Tags: bad breakup
I met him at 18 while travelling abroad. He was a childhood friend that my mother insisted i visit even if its for a few days. Our fathers were best friends and as children they had always joked that we both would end up together. I was 18 he was 19. The day he came to pick up me up at the airport was a day i will never forget. Even though i had never met him i remember running into his arms as if i had known him my whole life. As if my soul knew him long before i had even known him. I ended up only spending two days in his home country as i was back packing through Europe and had not thought much of staying there for longer. Another reason was that i was travelling with my best friend and she wants interested in last minute change of plans. I never imagined i would feel this way about him. After spending two wonderful days with him i promised i would end my trip back in his country and fly back from there. However that never happened. I had a family emergency back home and had to fly back mid way through my trip. However once i got back i could not stop thinking about him. And let me tell you at that point i had a great boyfriend and once i came back from my trip i no longer felt anything for him. So i broke it off. What i didn't realize at that moment was that he never wanted what i wanted. I wanted him and he didn't think we would work because i was so different from him. Two years later he got married to a girl and he kept in touch through out the years. He would message me happy birthday or miss you come visit. I never replied. I blocked his memory out of my life because after all what do you know when you're 18? You think you're in love and you have met your soul mate but everyone tells you you're too young to know. So i blocked him and every single memory of him. Forward it to 8 years later. I am 26 living alone, have a great boyfriend whom i see a future with, a great job. I get a call early morning 3 am my time. Its him. He says he's going through a divorce and wonders if it would be okay for him to visit. I think nothing of it. I don't even remember that i once had feelings for him. I just think sure come why not i can show you around. I don't over think it, i tell my boyfriend and he's okay with it as he will be out of town anyways and thinks its a great idea for him to come. After all he says he's going through a divorce why not be there for him. I should have known i would regret this i should have known nothing ever good comes out of him but i didn't.
I was in a very committed relationship with my ex, where we moved in with each other after one and a half years. Things were going well (I thought) with the occasional bickering of two people who live together but there was never a day when we didn't say we loved each other. About six months in, one day after we had spent a lovely day pulling 'sickies', having brunch, watching our favourite TV show together, I received a phone call from our landlord while at work. She was calling me to confirm if someone under the name of (my ex), needed a reference for a new lease. I thought it was some sort of mistake so I told her not to worry about it and hung up. She called back immediately and suggested that I find out what the situation is from my ex. So, I duck out thinking I'd make a quick phone call to sort out a silly misunderstanding. He picks up after a couple of rings, I tell him the story and his reply was 'Yes, I'm really sorry you had to find out this way but I'm moving out tonight, I was going to tell you after work'. It was a legit WHAT THE F. moment.
Tags: bad breakup
My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago, everything was going so great, I never felt this happy before, he made me feel like a princess and I know that he truly cared. We have been together for a year and a half, we have had problems, but nothing really major, it was often the same problems again and again, but I thought that we had so much more good times than bad ones and from my point of view, the relationship was going just fine. Well, aparently not, he did not told me a specific reason for the breakup, he just told me that he felt their was a distance between us now, that it was not like it used to be, that we loved less that he did. And i was just so confused, I did not get it and none of my friends or family members neither. They just could not understand, just like me. My friends and family loved him. We promised that we will be friends, but soon realised that we needed some time off first. So we tried to stop talking to each others, but we failed, it's been a month and we talk at least once a week. He tells that he misses me all the time and I miss him so much too, I can't stop thinking about him. And I know that if we ever get back together, we could make this work. I asked him to take and break, he said he did not want to, I asked him if we took some time off and try this again in a few months, we frist said ok, but then said no,that he did not want me in his life anymore, yet he tells that he misses me... I just do not get and I am so confused. I am juste sitting there, hoping he will come at my door tomorrow and ask me to get back together, knowing it will never happen. Never knew something could hurt so much.
Tags: Bad Breakup
Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.
Tags: bad breakup
I'm probably going to post all of my breakups on here. I'll start with the boyfriend I had freshman and sophmore year of high school. I'll call him Neil. I knew him in elementary school and we hated each other at that point. Fast forward to high school when I run into him again. I end up having a crush on him and us being in the same friend group everyone supported us. We dated for about two and a half years when he started being really abusive. He raped me. He beat me. He verbally abused me.
When I finally realized what was going on and came to my senses, I told him we were over one night. He got pissed and started threatening to kill himself. My mom called his mom and found out that it was just an act he was putting on. Needless to say I am happy that I broke up with him.
About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.
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