When you read this story, I am certain you're going to think I am an idiot, But I promise if you give it a read, it will all tie together.
When I was 15 (he was 14), I thought I met the love of my life. We did everything together. I grew up dating him essentially all of high school. For reference, we are in the same grade. I experience so much of my life, shared everything with him.
You could say that over the course of almost 4 years of dating, we became inseparable. The inside jokes, the traditional dates, the teasing, the flirting, we had something special. But of course, over the last year of dating, the fighting only got worse. We had also been known to have a few huge fights here or there, but in all honesty, fighting is okay. But it came to a point for me that I realized I had simply had enough, I was tired of arguing with him. I was exhausted from telling him that he shouldn't ignore me, or that he should actually want to see me more.
He never was overly affectionate towards me during the last year. It had seemed that we were two ships that could not stop one storm after the next. On our 3.5 year anniversary, he asked to take a break because he had been so tired of me. He cut off all communication with me for days. I was devastated. I couldn't think or sleep. I had never felt more crushed. However, when he came to my doorstep with flowers and an apology, I felt like he had changed.
And he did. He wanted to plan our dates, talk to me more, call me, anything. It was one of the best points of my relationship, those few months. However, it wasn't enough, because to me, something was missing. I didn't love him anymore. I can't express to you what it feels like to wake up one morning, and you see this person you've always loved, but you feel different. I had fallen out of love. When I chose to break up with him, after taking a week of a break to clear my head.
He was devastated. I had hurt him so much, and it wasn't something I could help him with. Because I did that. But I could never force myself to love someone when I did not. Over the next months, we were friends. We did not want to hate each other, or be like every other ex. So we were close friends. He had made me agree that we shouldn't date for the rest of the school year, that way it would be easier on us. So I agreed. I figured, it was the least I could do, right?
Then, I found out he had been dating a girl. The worst part, was it was a girl he spent my entire relationship telling me he hated. So I assumed she was never a threat. The pain I felt/feel is the most intense sadness I could have ever felt. It's comparable to the time he didn't know if he loved me. I didn't eat right or sleep well for almost an entire week. Nothing has hurt me more.
In fact, I am still hurt because of the recency of this, as I type this, I have been tear filled, dry throat, and head throbbing. I think what is sad, was for the first time in a long time, I was starting to feel like I had missed him, and I was going to tell him that week, but then I found out he was dating someone else. The most unfortunate about all this, is I lost not only a boyfriend in this entire process, but now I have lost a friendship. We don't talk anymore. I dearly hope that will change, because he doesn't know the magnitude of how hurt not only I feel, but the rest of his friends, because suddenly, none of us exist. What hurts is I will never stop caring about him, no matter how much I hate him for the moment, I will always care. But now I have never felt more devastated. I want to tell myself I deserve it for breaking up with him, but I wasn't happy dating anymore. Do I deserve this?
Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago
Moving to a new school, I didn't know anyone except for a few people. At first I was being bullied for being different, (And for being the new kid). Fast forward. It was the last class of the day and I saw a guy. Let's call him.. Kevin. Well, I thought he was cute and so for a few weeks we started chatting online. Then he finally asked me out. I was so happy, but everyone told me that he was a liar, a cheater, etc. I didn't listen (Because 'liking someone a lot' makes people stupid)
We had a lot of things in common. We had never-ending conversations, I thought we were the perfect couple.
Just then, the 2nd week we were dating, he tells me the news that his mom found out about our relationship.
He told me that his mom was forcing him to break up with me.
I cried... for what seemed like days, even had mental breakdowns in class..
Then I just think,
"Why didn't he fight for me? We could still be together when we're at school. Please don't tell me this is real."
FAST FORWARD even more...
I found out that he lied, he lied about everything. And I finally realized, he was a lying cheating motherfluffer.
Few days later, he dates my friend.
Broke up with her.
Dates my other friend.
We don't talk, to this day.
( He still attempted to flirt with me after we broke up BTW )
Kevin is lame. -.-
Tags: bad breakup
Three weeks into my still ongoing vacation i get a call from a friend. Says he wasn't in paris with his friends for new years but with his so called ex-wife who is not an ex wife and never was. I feel a flutter of wrongs come back into my stomach. I feel a volcano of emotions. But most of all i feel like puking I puke out everything, the lies, the emotions, the hurt, the champagne, the empty promises, the real promises? I don't know at this point but i keep puking and then i cry. I cry for the lies he has told me and i cry for the two hearts i broke because of him. I cry for the man i let go and i cry for the mistake i have made. I cry for lying to myself and ignoring all the red signs, i cry for believing him, and mostly i cry because i can't and won't let him go. I call him i break up with him. He doesn't run after me and won't run after me. I block him and then unblock him i do this for the next 3 months. once i unblock him i hurl insults at him through Facebook, text messaging, voice messaging. I feel empty so i block him again. I do it again and this time we go back to saying i love yous but then the anger rises in me and i hurl my insult my pain at a screen. So i block him again. I unblock him and so it begins a cycle. I laugh sometimes. My friends stare at me. They used to call me the ice queen now i am the melting queen. I have break downs and melt downs. I can't hurl my anger at him so i hurl it at them whenever they'r ehappy i do it when they're down i do it when they're sad i do it. I don't know myself. The last time i blocked him was 7 days ago today i say its done its over. But deep down i don't know if it is. I love him as a child loves its favourite blanket or as mother loves her unborn child. I love him as if he were the beat of my heart and soul. I feel a physical pain when i see a flash of his smile in my head. I miss him so much that its physically painful to breath. I tell myself it is better to have loved and lost then to have felt no love at all. Then i google and try to find who said that quote and i then i want to find them and murder them. I want to see if they really have loved and lost because anyone who has truly loved. As in loved with their entire soul and finally understood what i would die for you would never ever ever say such a fucking stupid quote. So i go online and i try to find sad break up stories. I find this website but all the stories are about 18 year olds whom portably thing they have found true love. And i think to myself they are only 18 and they don't know what love means. But then i look at myself and i remember i was 18 and i knew love and look where that love has brought me. Which really is nowhere.
"The last chapter of our story" or "the brake up" is my best way to tell you how! Let me know what you think
Why did you go and left me alone
Did you think like I'll just move on?
Your memory is in every corner of my mind
Without seeing you, my eyes will go blind
Do you remember when we planed everthing together ?
And you said "baby, I'll be with you forever"
I believed your word like it was an oath
Because of it, now I feel loath
We had a bond stronger than bricks
After all these years, you say we don't really mix!
My problem is, I'm in love with your smile
To get over it, it'll take me a while
There is apart of me will never forget you
I'll always love you, regardless what you do
And when you realize how much I do, it'll be too late
You'll crawl back to me, but I won't take that bait
I wish you will always be happy, even though I'm hurt
Cuz once you love someone you just can't revert
That's how I love you, but you decided to forget everything we shared
It breaks my heart, but at least now I know how much you cared
That's how you wanted to write the last chapter of our story
Nothing will fix it now, not even "I'm sorry".
The second year of school i was scared... to be in a new class. The first year i never have friends i was always alone always getting bullied. the second year im scared it might be worst.. but.. i met a girl who was so kind and caring for me.. 2 months past we cared each other as friends. its time i told her i loved her.. and on the day she accepted it because she was in love with me also. we been through a lot together. we are always together to fix anything together. one day she started to change into a diffrent person. she dont care me like how she use to she dont love me like how she use to. but i told her i will always love her with all my heart and never leave her. she said she wont give up on us and will be forever with me. we promise each other. one day she said maybe we should break up..she said sorry i give up on us.. sorry i break our promise.. that day.. i never believed in forever anymore.. i cried everyday.. and she was so happy without me. she flirts with other boys. then.. we started talking again.. we got back together again.. after a week the last day of school i told her i will make her happy again. that night i said sweet things and told her how beautiful she was. we had a awesome night. then.. we went to bed. tomorrow her mum found out we where dating she couldnt accept it.. and my GF said sorry i have to leave.. but she said why when she was with her ex her mum accepted it... she said maybe because im not chinese.... and she said.. at least we are friends... everything went crashing down. she started being happy again with out me. i started being alone again.. no friends.. nothing.. and she saved me when i was in a dark room.. she light up my room but now she left.. its worst then before.. i tot we could be married... and.. Grow old together... i wanted to call her.. she said maybe tomorrow.. then tomorrow i ask can i call she pretend she didnt hear it.. and we stop talking.... i just needed.. the phone call.. to tell her how much i love her.. before she leave.. but.. i didnt get that call..
I met him on a train, he went to my brother school.
September 17th 2012, he asked me out.
Almost two years, we were the strongest couple in our school, he was kind, caring, perfect, we won prince and princess at our school formal.
I often overreacted at some stuff, and whenever i did i would always pull the "lets break up then" card, but we always worked them out, always! We were so tight, and he was so clingy and i loved that about him.
Then one day we had a fight, we were skyping and he shared screens with me and it was porn, and then he quickly hung up and said "i don't know how it got there." I wasn't mad, just upset, i couldn't even satisfy my own boyfriend, my self esteem dropped i guess. He knew i was upset and kept asking if i was mad, and i chucked the "lets take a break then" card. I regret it.
He didn't even fight for me.
He texted me a day before my birthday that "I hurt him too much" and he "couldn't handle it" 5 days before our 2 year anniversary.
To think that they guy who planned your whole future together, told you where he was going to propose, how many kids you two were having, break up with you, yeah. that sucks.
Am I in the wrong? Ah, im so confused.
I was with the guy of my dreams... So I thought. He was perfect in every way. Took me out on the best dates, and treated me well. I was planning to save myself, but I ended up giving everything up, gave the little innocence I had left to him. I thought since we connected right away that I would end up with him. I met him through the internet. The same day that we met online we met in person, I instantly felt a strong connection with him, he was charming had great eyes, smile, and laugh. He opened doors, just the perfect gentlemen. A week later, he then told me that he could not be with me, giving me a list of why not. I hated hearing it, he then dropped me off at home, when he dropped me off at home, all I could do was cry. Curious as to what had gone wrong. We ended up texting after he dropped me off, then ended up on a long phone call. The next day we hadn't texted all day. I then sent a message, opps wrong person, but it was to him, and I was meaning to send it to another person. We then ended up talking again, yes I was happy but again I felt so much anger towards him. I loved him, I fell in love with him. He had become my everything, and to this day still is. Anyways, we got back together, we talked it out, figured everything out, and I gave it to him. He almost even said that he loved me, while we were cuddled up, but he just stopped himself because he said if he said that I would hurt him, but why? I do not know. We were great, then classes started back up, and everything changed, we stopped seeing each other everyday, and the good turned into the bad again. I missed him, I wanted to see him after my late classes, but he had other plans, and wanted to do other things. I guess, he wanted his single life back, and the more he tried to cling on to what we had the further he was pushed off. I miss him, and I wish I could just get over him, and move on with my life.
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