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November 22, 2010 @ (France)

Tags: depression, self-esteem

I had this friend that was going through some stuff just like I was. Both him and I were very depressed and so we started talking with one another. One thing after another, we ended up dating.
He lived in another city, so we couldn't see each other much but we talked/emailed each other nonstop everyday. We both thought things were pretty serious. On our official first date, he told me that he loved me and we had our very first kiss. And of course, this is lame but I had felt something when he kissed me. The very next day, he told me on the phone that we had to breakup. His mother told him to not date me for my good. She was afraid that he'd hurt me. I was really torn and depressed but we continued being friends but "with benefits." So it basically still felt like we were still dating. We'd still talk on the phone whenever we could and he'd always tell me that he loves me and other romantic things.
........But then I find out ONLINE that he started going out with this girl WHILE he was still talking with me and saying all that sweet stuff. And to add to it, I found out two WEEKS after they were dating. I was so pissed off and torn that I yelled at him to never talk to me. AND he had the nerve to say that he'd breakup with her if I wanted him to. I didn't want to hurt the other girl and so I told him to do whatever he wanted. He broke up with her and I added her as a friend on ----------. She blabbed out everything to me and said that they were true loves and etc. Then she had the nerve to say that he never liked me in the first place and that he was just thinking that he had feelings for me but in reality, he was madly in love with her.
Things got worse when I wanted to get the truth from him but I couldn't get into contact with him at all. But luckily, I was best friends with his sister and she told me about some things that he told her when he was dating me. He didn't feel anything when we kissed and he felt like he was pressured into saying that he loves me. She did me a favor and did a 3-way phone call and I listened into their conversation. I know it was wrong to do so but it cleared everything up. I heard him say that I reminded him of her ex from 3 years ago and so thats why he dated me. I became depressed and sad from that point on.
There were moments where I thought to myself that I should hate him for everything but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I blamed myself for it. I blamed myself for not noticing that he cut the time we usually talk together down. I blamed myself and said to myself that I deserved it. Even now, I think how could a plain girl like me ever get a guy like him to like me....I eventually gave up and now I don't enjoy everyday life and feel like I have to drag myself to make it through the day...



November 21, 2010 @ (great britain)

Tags: any advice...

Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???



November 13, 2010 @ (Florida)

Tags: Honor

I want to ask a general statement.

Why is it that we live in a world where people have no sense of honor toward another person? Where cheating today is the norm. Where we don't respect ourselves or the other person we are with. Why is it that we as people dont start with ourselves and raise our kids not to be like this. Lets end this cycle starting today. We all have come here to find answers because we are hurting. While most will say it will always be there why not make a difference and not be like the rest of the world. Be better than who you were yesterday. : )


Lil Fatty

November 10, 2010 @ (Cali)

Tags: Dirty Sanchez

I went to Spencer's last week and saw this hilarious book entitled Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated DICKtionary of Obscene Sex Terms. I had to get it, and being the pig that I am, at least try some of the terms with the chick I've been hooking up with. So I figured start off small. I've given her facials a few times, but this time I told her it was my fantasy to pee on her (golden shower p. 40). She was a little apprehensive at first but eventually let me do it in the shower.

The next night, we got into some really hot sex and I was nailing her form behind when I decided to do the Tony Danza (p 109). I asked her "Who's the boss?" They she turned her head back and said "what?". Then I smacked her in the face (lightly) and said "Tony Danza bitch!" Needless to say wasn't happy and threw me off.

She was kind of getting on my nerves lately and I kind of wanted her to break up with me so I figured I'd go for gold. A few days later we meet up and started to have make up sex (isn't it just fabulous). So I'm banging her from behind and I figured why not be a pig. I stuck my finger in her butt. She kind of liked it. But unbeknownst to her suddenly I discovered some nuggets. Oh yes, this was the grand finale. I pulled the finger out and reached around and gave her a shit stache to remember!

There she was - Dirty Sanchez in the flesh. I was officially the biggest asshole on the planet. She cursed me out and ran out. Haven't heard from her since. This book has got me messed up. But for some reason I can't put it down and stop laughing.


Ashley B-Brown

November 07, 2010 @ (atlanta)

Tags: tragedy

So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.

Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.

I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.



November 06, 2010 @ (The City By The Lake)

Tags: Affair, married, eharmony

So...I am married and have been involved with another woman for the last six years. Long story short, I just don't have the balls to leave my wife and kids. My girlfriend recently found "the one" and has broken it off with me. I have been devestated. Although they have only been going out since early September, they have already talked of marriage! She even wanted to go on the pill so he could hit it without a condom. I got what I deserve but it still hurts.



November 05, 2010 @ (Ohio)

Tags: boarding school

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. He claimed it was because I was leaving for Boarding school, and nothing else went through my mind so I bought it for a while. Until recently, away at school, I learned near the last few months of our relationship he was telling this girl that we had broken up. Throughout this time frame, he began to hook up and have sex with her. After figuring this out I gave him a phone call. He begged me to forgive him and told me he loved me. Yeah, that's right. Fuck you, Josh.


Al Murjan

November 03, 2010 @ (Seattle )

Tags: interracial, passion, lonely

He broke up with me multiple times. He had a double standard for everything. He was angry all the time, stressed out all the time, did not take personal initiative to try to improve his life outside of blaming me, he was cruel and disrespectful. After his stress and depression finally ate through my calm I lost it and screamed and broke a glass. I made a few mistakes but I was walking on glass almost the whole relationship. After so many fights, he called it quits for good. We started with having so much passion for each other, more than I may ever have again. He went so far as to tell me he hates me and that I'm such a low person. I know better though, and bless his cotton socks, I miss him.



November 03, 2010 @ (Switzerland)

Tags: 2.5years

Me a 24 year old male her a 20 year old girl.

We met one spring day in a park, she asked my group of friends for a pape and things started then ( before you discard us a stoners read on) after about a month of meetings and lunches she made out with me one day before i left for the army. during my year of service my weekend leaves would full of passion, after 1 year of military service we started finally seeing each other much more regularly and shared a beautiful love story for 2 and a half years. during this time she evolved stopped smoking and started dressing really good. me..well i was just me, ill admit I gently started taking her for granted and that was my first mistake.
anyway i now feel betrayed as it is one of my most profound morals is loyalty and loyal i was to the bone,
she ends up making out with another guy and im sitting here broken. i feel back stabbed not only for the cheating issue but especially cus i was there for her to set her back up on her feet during her fuck ups, got her off smoking and into studying for her future, and when i need help to set my life in order she ran off. this is probably the only rational fuel i can use to tell myself she was not right for me, but i cant get her out of my head. its been 2 weeks now sicne the break up things are slowly getting better but still far from the end of the suffering.
A part of me wants her back and yet i know its not the right thing to do.

anyway, for all of you in the same situation iv found a little comfort in thinking about how much worse a break up must be in terms of a divorce where you lose your kids and stuff aswell. all in all its not so bad.



November 02, 2010 @ (NY)

Tags: good ridance

We dated for a year and a half on and off for our own multiple reasons. He'd break up with me and come back, today was our 5th...not first..not second. 5TH time we've broken up, he went to a camp over the weekend met someone and is now ignoring me. I've IM'd him for the last time saying "fuck you. karma's a bitch & I hope she breaks your heart" & blocked him. I gave him all my love, he told me I made him feel ontop of the world, I always tried my best with him. May it be fights, his problems..anything. But I guess he never loved me at all, probably faked the whole relationship. This is the last time I'll ever shed tears for him, that jerk.


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