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You Broke Up How?

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Jessica

March 12, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: love, detachment


We were old school friends and had been, in those days, pretty close. Not long after I got out of my last relationship, he called me up out of the blue (we had kind of drifted apart) and asked me out. I had had the biggest crush on him when we went to school, so I agreed.

We had an amazing couple of months together. I had never been so in love with anyone I had ever dated. Then we had our first fight. It was a blur of misunderstandings, harsh words, and lots of emotion. We didn't talk for a few days.

It took all I had not to get emotional when I saw him again, but I knew if I did, he'd get defensive and things would just get worse. After we talked everything over (and we both apologized) I felt great. He told me he loved me and that I was the first girlfriend he'd had in quite a while that he felt semi-serious about. I felt closer to him than I ever had.

But then, he proceeded to spew some crap about how he'd been detaching himself from me and how he didn't think the relationship could work out because of it. Apparently, this so-called "love" he felt for me could be disregarded over our FIRST fight. He may as well of just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.

I broke up with him. How was I supposed to be with someone who could detach himself from me over one fight that I apologized for over and over again?

But then I felt bad. I loved him so much- what kind of person would I be if I didn't try again? I texted him, begging him to talk to me. Begging him to tell me why he didn't love me enough to get over this fight. Begging him to tell me why this wouldn't work out if it had been going so well up to that point. I don't beg- ever. His response? "I don't feel like talking right now- sorry." No matter how much I begged him to talk because I needed him to, he wouldn't.

So I said goodbye. Guys- if you don't really care, don't tell a girl she means the world to you and that you love her. Apparently, for my guy, I shattered his perfect image of me by actually having feelings and by being hurt by our fight. Terrible, I know.


       

Catalina

March 12, 2011 @ (california)

Tags: 2


my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me


       

Eva

March 10, 2011 @ (Kenya)

Tags: Fresh experience 1


He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.


       

Little Ol\

February 24, 2011 @ (Winnipeg, Canada)

Tags: (example1, example2)


I had moved to Ottawa to live with my mom when I was 16. Shortly after my 17th birthday I met this guy "D" who I fell head over heels with, my first true love so to speak. Though we never really branded ourselves as an "item", we did spend a lot of time together and would make out often. We told each other EVERYTHING. This would only last for a few months as my mom announced that we were moving back to Winnipeg. I was devestated, but me and him kept in contact while I was back in Manitoba.

Fast forward four years... I went back to Ottawa to see if we still had anything left from before. We were still close friends and told each other everything, but, he was not ready to commit to me or anyone, I was crushed but wanted him in my life in some capacity even if we were just "friends". Then it happened, some one made up a story about something I did and he believed it. We had a huge fight and he vowed he never wanted to see me again. I went back to Winnipeg again with a broken heart.

Over the next decade I ended up getting married and having a son, but my thoughts would always roam to "D". Sometimes fond memories, sometimes anger, but a huge piece of my heart still belonged to him.

My "husband" turned out to be a chronic cheater and we were in the process of ending our marriage. I had gone online and ended up talking to one of my old friends from Ottawa and the topic of "D" came up and I had mentioned that I missed "D". My friend had to go offline as did I but we ended up online again later that night, this time he brought "D" into our conversation.

"D" and I talked that whole night, and every day since then. We STILL had feelings for each other and I flew out a month later for a visit. It was amazing, we laughed, we talked, we kissed, we made love, and we cuddled.

For seven months we did the long distance thing, then I took the big plunge and moved to Ottawa for the third time, this time it's been four years together, we are in the midst of planning our wedding and our future lives together.

I know that this was not a break up story per say, but I wanted to show that you can break up a few times before getting it right. A break up doesn't always have to be forever.


       

Dumped

February 20, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: cold breakup


I'm a member of a singles group, a dating agency, basically, and while this was not the most hurtful breakup, it was a pretty cold one. After a month of really great dates and lots of encouragement (from her) for more of the same, the day before a dinner/dance event she slammed me with the revelation of another guy. I absolutely didn't see this coming. Not that we were exclusive, but every bit of feedback I was getting suggested she was focused only on us.

So she called me and in a very business-like way, proceeded to explain that, “The program is set up so you can date other people…” There were no kind softeners. No, “I really like you, but…”; no, “I’ve had a great time with you, but…”; nothing, nada, zip. Just, here are the rules and I followed them.

Then, twice she said, “I wanted to call you myself and let you know, so you didn’t hear it from someone at the group.” Excuse me? What half-mature adult wouldn't call personally to break off a relationship? Newsflash: there's nothing righteous about doing something that's simply responsible. The entire breakup felt like the severing of a business relationship, which makes sense, because she's a corporate officer.

Finally, I wrote her a follow-up e-mail, in which I thanked her for letting me know about this personally (dummy!), and wished her love and happiness. She never replied. Wouldn’t one at least respond in kind, if only briefly? Example: “Dear (you), I wish you love and happiness, too.”

Oh well. The Zen master teaches to disapprove of the action, but not of the actor. Perhaps, but if she becomes available again, I don't have to date her.


       

Sha Sha

February 20, 2011 @ (nyc)

Tags: wild out


when i started to date this guy , it was nothing but passion and arguments. four months later he started to talk with someone else . i found out by going through his cell , i never had a reason to go threw this cell. when i had confront him, he felt bad so he started step up. it was great but then i was putting in way more then he was. 6 months later he suddenly didn't want to be in a relationship (idea from his friend} he was there for me still but we still had feelings for each other. he told people we were friends but we were more. after his mom bday last week .(we was official) we started to get more into arguments. i wanted to start dating other people , so we went out saturday everything was right but a bit off . we went to the bar then after the bar he took my laptop n said i dont trust u n push me. we started to get in a argument . his drug dealer brother is missing some stuff , so his brother n him started to blame me . (potheads) i was shock cause i wouldnt dare do that crap but his brother bring strangers into his home. i was even upset when i told him f off im done . he started to call me names . two hours later he went on my fb page n deleted all my photos n friends(he ran off with my laptop) so today i change all my passwords. (im happy to not be with him) he started to text me things n started to name what he dont like about me. like that suppose to hurt


       

Sly-guy

February 17, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: example 1


not really a break up but here it goes... so i'm 13 and don't give me that focus on your studies crap... I've never been much of a G.F. B.F. type of guy but when one of the hottest girls at the school starts trying to talk to you, you dont just turn down the offer. So it starts off great but its just talking never dating. Then about 2 months later still just talking no dating and im beginning to question our relationship and if we'll ever be more than just what we had been. She tries to tell me we will but she's nervous. I believe her but im still skeptical. About a week later what do you know she says we should stop talking and that she sees me as just a friend. She has no new boyfriend or is event talking to anyone she just got tired i guess. "500 days of Summer" without the happy ending. I now know what it feels like to be heart broken...


       

Geddy Scott

February 15, 2011 @ (Michigan)

Tags: chat.yahoo


I met her in a chat room and i know what some people say about that but she was different. Every thing about her was perfect we get along so well we had everything on common, we were the perfect couple we were crazy about each other made all these plans to be together since she was only a couple of hours away. Then one day she gives me the bad news she dont love me no more over night. I really miss her bad and she got a new boyfriend only a few days after im deeply hurt by this and i still love her. I love you babe.


       

Deja

February 15, 2011 @ (Miami fl)

Tags: Dejalotiff@yahoo.com


I met him on myspace I know that may sound crazy but it wasn't when I met him he was wonderful in my mind I felt. And ease that I might have found that one he was so sweet and handsome next I know I was pregnant with our first child and from there w everything was down hill he got mad at me cause he thought I said I wanted to watch his cousin and my bestfriend which I did not say so while I was gone he packed all my things and threw it in the garage and it hurt me so bad and then we started back talking and I. Had another baby and we still not together want to let him go so badly but I'm crazy bout him he doing him y. Can't I. Do the same but that's life


       

John

February 12, 2011 @ (Raleigh, NC)

Tags: Break, up,


Im 15 and my girlfriend broke up with me because i told her she dint make me happy. I said mean things out of anger and i never meant them. She knows that and i told her id change if she takes me back. But she likes this other guy, but she dint break up with me for him. She wants to know if he likes her, and she said that if he doesnt she'll come crawling back to me. She wants to know if ill take her back if he doesnt like her. I want to, but when i think about them dating it makes me want to tell her no. I just dont know if ill take her back or not. And i need some advice on why i should or shouldnt. It just makes me feel like a back up. I still love her and she still has feelings for me. Shes gona ask him monday and today is saturday. I just need some other peoples perspective on this. Thankyou.


       








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