Unbelievable

January 10, 2015 @ (toronto, ontario)

Tags: bad breakup, hurt, unbelievable, played, sad


I have loved him for more than 5 years. We've had a thing for almost a year but that never blossomed into a real relationship until a year and a half ago. During that year of us having a 'thing', I couldn't stop thinking about him- he was my first thought every morning and every night. Everything about him I loved, his flaws, his personality. He was someone who inspired me to become a better person, someone who made me become a better person ever since we met. I was stupid to wait around. That year of our 'thing', he ended up telling me that his feelings for me weren't as strong anymore and that I should go off and 'explore a bit' with other guys. Out of anger, out of hurt, I did. My friend chased me. And I decided to give him a chance.

It wasn't long before he came back. Grovelling, crying, begging. He tore me away from my relationship with my friend. And I was stupid enough to have believed he wanted me for real this time. He was romantic and even wanted to be my 'official' boyfriend this time- and he is not the type of person to ever label things without thinking things through. So broke my friend's heart, and ran off with this guy. Everything was great.. until it wasn't. He rarely texts, rarely makes time to see me. He would be so involved with his work, and his gym life. He would spend his actual birthday with his guy friends instead of me. He doesn't feel the want to see me. He got me way too easily. He was so sweet in the beginning I couldn't believe it. I knew it was too good to be true.

On december 27, 2014, he told me he was going to make a big move in his career. When I told him about my point of view, how I was willing to support him and follow him, he told me to really think about it. He didn't want me to go.

5 days later, on new year's day, he broke up with me, saying after the past 3 days of thinking he decided it was best for us to break up. After investing so much in this he decided, after 3 days, to break up. He crushed me. For the second time in my life, by the same person and for the same reasons. He couldn't feel anything with me anymore. He just fell out of love. And after a year and a half, told me his family and my family would never work out together.

I am beyond sad. My heart feels like there's a gigantic canyon on it, in it. Depression is real. This is real.


       


 

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