Poor Guy

December 01, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: long distance, long relation


I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol


       


 

Comment on this breakup






Alex

December 24, 2011


I'm sorry, you're not alone to have been lied to like this. I, too, am an introvert and would always feel anxious while dating extroverts (turns out most were lying cheats). It wasn't until I found another extrovert, someone so much like myself that I could trust them. Don't let one bad relationship keep you from finding someone that truly loves and respects you.


     


Jay

December 24, 2011


To be honest seems like u were the only one who had the strong feelings. Maybe this gurl wanted to love u and enjoyed the attention that she got from u but in the end, didn't really care either way. 7 years of your life u dedicated to her and I think that's where a lot of us go wrong, putting TOO MUCH time and effort into a relationship with a person we convinced ourselves was our soul mates. It is not healthy to dedicate so much energy to them and better to keep a balance of love, family, friends, and hobbies so when break ups occur we have systems that can help us get over them more easier. This girl has moved on from u so now u gotta move on from her. Stop drinking coz it just gets depressing. Stop wasting ur time thinking about her. She's not worth any more of ur time and energy... seriously!!! Find some things that can help make u happy again... u deserve it!


     


Chancey

December 17, 2011


I feel your pain. My girlfriend of four and a half years decided she wanted a break from our relationship because she didn't feel that close anymore. The night before we had talked that we would never leave each other because we thought we were both the love of each others life. Little did I know that she had been looking for a replacement for me or about four months and found one the next morning so breaks away. I found this out the other day so met up with her and broke it off completely. I could tell she was already starting to realize what she had done and was starting to realize she screwed up. It's amazing how they can make everything sound so genuine and close but not really mean it at all. That's the part the definitely hurts the most for me. And I have also started to use the bottle for comfort but it just masks the emotions. Now it's been three weeks since the dump day and it feels better now. Everyday I try and take a risk or chance on something. A good friend once told Me that if you are happy with Yourself you can be happy with any one and I recommend you try and take care of yourself and move on no matter how hard it is. Her doing this is NOT your fault and you couldnt do anythin to stop it!


     


Poor guy

December 09, 2011


Its been exactly a month since we broke up. She hasn't called..not even asking how I am ,...when she knows how miserable I am...It would have been our 7th anniversary today had this shit not happened. And she is all fine, clicking pictures wearing the dresses I had gifted her...and posting them to fb...either she is too naive not to realise what she is doing...or she is being a slut..and I feel like shit when I know I loved a wrong girl :(


     


Poor guy

December 09, 2011


Its been exactly a month since we broke up. She hasn't called..not even asking how I am ,...when she knows how miserable I am...It would have been our 7th anniversary today had this shit not happened. And she is all fine, clicking pictures wearing the dresses I had gifted her...and posting them to fb...either she is too naive not to realise what she is doing...or she is being a slut..and I feel like shit when I know I loved a wrong girl :(


     


John L.

December 03, 2011


My relationship was short compared to yours. But the pain still hasn't stopped more than a year later. Why I am still single. I can't say how unfair and what a S____ she was for that. There is no excuse. The thing I hate about some women and men is they are like well this is dull and boring. I am secure but its dull to me. If we dont play the freaking game we get screwed when we are simply being honest. My heart has hardened and I cant say much bec I actually have heart problems from this. Don't drink, it just makes you feel depressed. I actually had a nightmare the night my ex left. I reached out my hand and said please don't go. Please don't go. The next morning I went to church and she was gone. Never for me to hold her again. Then she attacked me when I wanted to talk. So stop drinking and dont eat like I did, I gained 40 pounds. Major health issues then.


     


Niambi

December 01, 2011


I am so sorry for what happened to you. It seems like you are a great guy. Don't let what happened to you harden your heart and keep you from loving another person. In time God will bring you the perfect person for you.