Delta

October 02, 2016 @ (Southern Russia )

Tags: Bad Breakup


So when I was in 10th grade I saw this girl in Engineering class and she was my first Crush ever, I thought she was perfect, She had this long beautiful hair, breathtaking smile, cute, a little bit shy, challenging, caring and had some little knowledge about video gaming which was my weak spot. This was also my first love, I tried to flirt with her but I was a very insecure person at that time, I was pretty much obese (115 KG,253 lbs) and I was the probably the ugliest guy in the class :(, my flirting skills were a disaster and she eventually had a boyfriend from another class, they were together for 4 months and after that they broke up.
I dreamt about this girl for a whole year and I told myself that in 11th grade I will make something out of myself and I will GET HER.
Starting from February 2016 and till July 2016 I lost 37 KG (that's 81 pounds) and went from 115 to 78 KG (253 lbs to 171 lbs), I lost weight for my own private reasons but one of the main one was for my crush. The WHOLE SCHOOL was in complete shock of my body transformation (I'm talking about teachers, students, janitors, community workers, cooks, friends) and I was voted student of the year in my school, I've never felt this much happiness in a long time, I've felt completely on top of the world, my confidence rose up and I felt that I needed to flirt with my crush, but that failed too.
Eventually I found a job in my school and I worked there as a painter (I painted the walls, classrooms and etc... for the school year) to pay truck driving license. And then one day my CRUSH showed up in the school and literally started talking to me straight away, I was really busy with my work and I told her if she can hold on just for a few minutes but she ignored me and we started talking, the conversation went deep in a matter of minutes, I though to myself ''SO FAR SO GOOD'' and we literally spent the next 2 months (June and July) talking to each other on the phone ever SINGLE day. one day when I felt the right time to quit my job, I told her that I wanted to hang out with her (was my first time talking to a girl over whatsupp) and we've set the meeting in my city.
During August we hanged out every day and we felt closer and closer with each meeting. During the beginning of 12th grade (the final senior year) I told her that I loved her over the phone and she said she loves me too. It was the most magical moment that I've heard over the phone. The next morning we went to quiet place in my school yard near the teachers parking lot and we kissed, it was my first kiss EVER and especially with my crush, it was such a special moment in my life and I will never forget it, I've felt completely happy. We were the most popular couple in my school apparently because people had known me for being a single guy for my whole life.
After a week and 4 days my nightmares became to reality, we broke up.
I wasn't depressed but I felt sad as fuck man, we had a fight the night before and its just a long story, things weren't going great for us, so we decided to break up.
I was very sad with myself, and I was being told that time heals everything, and I shouldn't be upset because we were barely together for a month,but it doesn't matter if the relationship lasted for a week, I've felt heartbroken and pretty sad with myself.
She on the other hand felt completely good after the break up and told me that she had 2 boyfriends before me and she is going to chase for another one and I need to do the same, find the one, she told me that I will fine the love of my life but to never give up, even in my darkest moments of my life.
I will never forget these words that she said to me the day after our break up. But the awesome memories we had together still taunt me till this very minute. And the worst thing is, I pretty much regret the decision to leave her.
I've came to the point that not anything that shines has to be golden.
I feel very disappointed because I've wasted so many energy over her for the past 2 years.
But I need to look at the bright sight, this short relationship taught me that to make sure I will never do any mistakes in my next serious relationship, life is one hell of a tough journey, and we need to keep going, keep looking forward and never give up.


       


 

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